


darkness exists to make light truly count

by AquaQuadrant



Category: Rapunzel's Tangled Adventure, Tangled (2010), Tangled: The Series (Cartoon)
Genre: (sorry pascal), Ballet, Canon-Typical Violence, Child Neglect, Controlling Behavior, Emotional Abuse, F/M, Gaslighting, Kidnapping, Magic, Mentions of Blood, Near Drowning Experience, Nightmares, Panic Attacks, SCIENCE!, Stockholm Syndrome, Verbal Abuse, also know as the LittleBrother!au, and update the tags as i go, au where mother gothel kidnaps moon!varian as a baby and raises him as rapunzel's little brother, blunt force trauma via frying pan, but they will span pre-movie movie and series timeline, chapters may or may not be chronological, description of injury, enforcing gender roles, i'll give a short breakdown of each one in the beginning notes, kicking off that slow burn character development yeye, minor language, moon!varian comes from snowprincess-artist on tumblr who has already done amazing art for this au, nongraphic references to death, not including pascal, now including flynn!!!, now with maximus, ratings warnings and genres will vary by chapter, self-depreciation, sibling relationships, violence slightly more intense than canon
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-12-01
Updated: 2019-02-03
Packaged: 2019-02-08 23:10:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 34
Words: 116,903
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12875034
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AquaQuadrant/pseuds/AquaQuadrant
Summary: A series of connected one-shots detailing Rapunzel’s life in, and after, the tower. But there’s one crucial difference; Varian was born with moon powers, and Gothel stole him as a baby to be raised as Rapunzel’s little brother.Currently playing: Chapter Thirty-Four -where there is light, a shadow appears.What should have been a simple thing, the rehearsal for Rapunzel’s coronation ceremony, becomes increasingly complicated as cracks in the façade start to emerge.(Updating once a month)





	1. sleight of hand, change of fate

**Author's Note:**

> A/N: Hello readers! Basically, this au takes Moon!Varian and puts him in the tower with Rapunzel. I’ve been kicking this au around on tumblr (where it’s received fabulous additions by snowprincess-artist and earial13) but I’ve finally decided what I wanna do with it! These one-shots will focus on how a sibling relationship between Raps and Varian changes things. There's gonna be all sorts of genres, and will cover pre-movie, movie, and series timelines. Ratings/Warnings will vary, and be listed at the start of every chapter.
> 
> (title of fic is from Uneven Odds, by Sleeping At Last. I expect I’ll be using a lot of his songs for inspiration, lmao)
> 
> Chapter Title: _sleight of hand, change of fate_  
>  Rating: K+  
> Warnings: minor language, kidnapping, nongraphic references to death  
> Timeline: Four years after Gothel kidnapped Rapunzel (pre-movie)  
> Chapter Summary: Rapunzel wasn't the only magical child Mother Gothel hid away in the tower.
> 
> Comments are loved and appreciated! (And fuel my drive to write more) - Aqua

_**act one**_

~*~

Gothel held the bundle close to her chest, pulling her hood about her face as she ran.

Her boots were almost silent on the soft grass, dark cape fluttering behind her like a shadow. She was fairly certain she’d lost her pursuers over a half-hour ago, but she hadn’t lasted this long without being cautious. The sooner she got home, the better.

And besides, if she hadn’t lost them yet, she was bound to soon. The forest was harder to navigate at night, especially if you didn’t know your way.

The baby in her arm, swaddled in a length of fabric, was crying, and had been doing so for over two hours now. Gothel was muffling the noise as best she could, tucking him into the curve of her shoulder, but she couldn’t focus entirely on quieting the child at the moment, even if he’d been the reason they’d caught up with her in the first place.

The sound grated on her, but her annoyance was kept in check by the adrenaline. She hadn’t had this much excitement in years. He’d been a very hard baby to track down, even harder to get to and steal away, and she was determined not to let her efforts be wasted. She had to focus on the task at hand.

Digging her heels into the earth, Gothel took a sharp turn and whisked into the hidden alcove that only she knew existed. She reached the tower in a matter of seconds and leaned against it, catching her breath. As she recovered, her gaze rested on the cave entrance, searching for any sign that she’d been followed, one hand creeping towards the dagger slung in her belt.

The more minutes that stretched by, the more confident Gothel was that she’d made it to safety. Ten passed before she was absolutely certain of it. Satisfaction curled in her chest; she hadn’t lost her touch.

Now if only the baby would stop his damn crying.

Resolving to dealing with it inside, Gothel circled to the back end of the tower. The door was an unfortunate necessity. She kept it locked, of course, but she’d prefer a less obvious entrance. There was no telling who might stumble upon it in the future- she’d have to figure out another method eventually.

But that was a worry for another day. In the meantime, Gothel dug her heavy iron key from her satchel and pushed it into the lock. With a creak, the door swung open, admitting them to the pitch-blackness of the tower.

Gothel made her way up the winding stone stairs by memory alone, one hand cradling the baby and the other trailing the wall for stability. As she pushed through the trapdoor leading into the main floor, the baby let out a particularly sharp wail, squirming in her grip.

“Quiet, you little beast,” she murmured, bouncing her arm in an attempt to soothe the child before lifting her voice slightly. “Rapunzel, I’m home!”

There was a rush of footsteps, and Rapunzel appeared in the doorway to her bedroom. “Mother! You’re back!” the four-year-old said happily.

At the sound of a new voice, the baby’s cries faded. He turned his head to look at Rapunzel with round eyes, an almost unnaturally bright shade of blue- a reminder for Gothel of the hidden power within the child, the reason she’d gone through all this trouble in the first place.

Rapunzel made her way down the rest of the stairs, and Gothel let out a breath of relief. It had been a risk to leave Rapunzel alone for so long, at this age, and a part of Gothel had feared she’d return to find the tower empty.

But it seemed that everything worked out; her hunch had been right, and now she had both of them. Of course, she wasn’t thrilled to do the baby-raising thing all over again, but it would be well worth it, just like with Rapunzel.

At the sight of the bundle in Gothel’s arms, Rapunzel tilted her head, her already-floor-length hair falling over her shoulder. “What’s that?” she asked.

“A baby, dear,” Gothel said mildly. “He’s going to be your little brother.”

“Really?” Rapunzel studied him with interest. Of course, she’d never seen a baby before, she knew of them only from storybooks Gothel read to her at night. 

With a quiet sigh, the baby yawned. Rapunzel gasped and pointed. “He doesn’t have any teeth!” she exclaimed in alarm.

Gothel allowed a small smile. “That’s normal for babies, dear, he won’t get his for a little while longer. Now, how about you go fetch your hairbrush?”

“Yes, Mother!” Rapunzel chirped, thumping back up the stairs.

Switching the baby’s weight to one arm, Gothel pulled her chair out from the table and sank into it. The past three days had taken their toll on her. She felt the weight of every muscle in her body, felt the pull of every wrinkle on her face. That was the side effect of the Sun’s power; when used to keep you young, it caused you to age more rapidly when you went without it. A withdrawal, of sorts.

At least the baby had finally quieted- Gothel didn’t think she could take a migraine on top of everything else. For the moment, he seemed content to rest, one small fist curled up by his cheek as he dozed. His dark hair fell over his eyes in haphazard strands from where that damned Order member had cut it.

That had been a harrowing experience, finding them like that- for a moment, Gothel had thought his power had been lost, and her travels had been in vain. But the song had still done its work, taking care of that bothersome fool quite nicely.

For the baby’s little fingers had been curled around the man’s thumb, in that innocent way babies do, and Gothel had discovered the Moon’s power wasn’t held in his hair, like Rapunzel’s, but his hands.

It would be a little harder to control, but at least she’d be able to keep his hair short. If both of them grew it out, soon enough Gothel wouldn’t be able to _move_ for hair. And she didn’t even want to _think_ about how the two of them might have gotten tangled together…

Rapunzel’s voice brought Gothel out of her musings. “Here it is, Mother!” She promptly sat at the base of the chair and held up the brush in one hand, and gathering up her hair in the other.

“Thank you, dear.” Gothel adjusted the baby so he was resting in the crook of her arm, freeing up her hand to take the offered hair. With the brush in her other hand, she started to pull it through the golden locks in a familiar, practiced movement.

Unprompted, Rapunzel closed her eyes and began to sing softly. The words she’d recognized since before she’d learned to talk came to her as naturally as breathing. The glow spread lazily through her hair, and Gothel inhaled deeply as she felt the magic coursing through her veins. Fatigue vanished from her body like it had never existed, her hair losing its grey roots and her skin growing soft once again.

As Rapunzel continued to sing, Gothel watched the baby out of the corner of her eye. It didn’t seem to have any effect on him- good. That would simplify things.

When the song was done, Gothel let out a contented sigh. “Very good, Rapunzel. Now off to bed with you, and tomorrow I’ll tell you all about my trip into town.” Once she’d made it up, of course.

“Yes, Mother.” Rapunzel took the brush back and dutifully stood to go. “Night, I love you!”

Gothel ran a tender hand through Rapunzel’s hair. “I love you most.”

Rapunzel vanished into her bedroom, and the tower was silent. Gothel glanced down at the sleeping baby, brows knitted in thought. She’d have to construct him his own room, for when he was older, but for now she could make do.

She stood carefully, so as not to wake the baby, and cursed her lack of foresight. If only she hadn’t gotten rid of Rapunzel’s crib; she hadn’t thought she’d need it again. Moving around the room quietly, she emptied a milk crate, fished a spare blanket out of her closet, and folded it inside. 

There; a crib.

Gothel lowered the baby into the makeshift-crib, relieved when he didn’t wake and start crying again. Instead, he merely turned over and pulled his swaddling closer to his chin.

He was a rather cute baby, Gothel supposed, despite that odd stripe of blue in his hair. There was a splash of freckles across his button nose, quite like Rapunzel’s, and he had long, dark lashes that would frame those blue eyes nicely. She regretted that he’d been a boy; boys were loud, messy, and stubborn. Difficult to care for. She’d have to work at ensuring he’d be as well-behaved as Rapunzel was.

But whatever troubles laid ahead, Gothel was sure she could handle it. The hard part was over now; all that was left to do was reap the fruits of her labor. She might not yet know exactly how it would all come to pass- the universe worked in mysterious ways, and the _why’s_ and _how’s_ were often harder to discern than the _what’s_ or the _where’s_ \- but that didn’t matter.

A ray of moonlight shone through the gap in the curtains, falling across the baby’s face, and Gothel smiled.

Everything was as it should be.

~*~


	2. light, part I - now that you're here

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Title: _light, part I - now that you're here_  
>  Rating: G  
> Warnings: minor child neglect  
> Timeline: two days after Gothel brought Varian to the tower (pre-movie)  
> Summary: Rapunzel gets used to the idea of being a big sister.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Hello readers! Thank you so much for the wonderful response- I was a bit nervous to take on such a big project, but your support has really reassured me! Title of this chapter (and the lyrics that come later) comes from Light, a song by Sleeping at Last. I would highly recommend listening to it if you wanna catch some serious feels
> 
> You guys have been doing an amazing job commenting, keep it up! You have no idea how much they motivate me to write. Now, read on and enjoy! - Aqua

_light, part I - now that you're here_

~*~

Rapunzel turned over unhappily, pulling her covers over her head in a vain attempt to block out the noise.

The baby’s crying had been going on for _hours_ now, which Rapunzel thought was just way too long. Whenever something upset her, she wouldn’t cry more than a few minutes. And it wasn’t like there was any particular reason for it; it had been on and off ever since Mother brought the baby home, two days ago.

Rapunzel thought the baby was weird. He didn’t do much. He couldn’t talk, sit up, or play with her. All he did was sleep, which was _boring,_ and when he wasn’t sleeping he was crying, which was even worse.

She hadn’t said anything to Mother, of course. Good girls said only nice things, and complaining about the baby wasn’t very nice. Mother would probably be disappointed in her if she knew. But Rapunzel couldn’t help feeling frustrated; not only because the crying was annoying and keeping her awake, but because she didn’t know how to make the baby feel better.

Mother didn’t know how, either. At least, Rapunzel _assumed_ she didn’t know, because if Mother _did_ know, she probably would have done something by now. As it was, Rapunzel didn’t see her mother very often; she was working on some kind of project downstairs. She came up every few hours to make sure the baby was fed and cleaned, but then disappeared beneath the trapdoor again. Rapunzel was curious, but she wouldn’t dare to peek- she was never, _never_ supposed to go down the trapdoor, not _ever._

So Mother stayed downstairs, and the baby was left to cry.

He really was loud, for such a tiny thing. If Rapunzel wasn’t so irritated, she might have been impressed. Even putting her pillow over her ears wouldn’t block him out. And aside from the physical noise battering her eardrums, there was this noise inside her brain, a jumbled mess of thoughts and feelings buzzing around and getting bigger and bigger, insisting that _someone_ had to do something.

Finally, Rapunzel couldn’t take it anymore. Huffing a sigh, she squirmed out of her sheets and slid off the bed, the floor cool on her bare feet. Quietly, she crept down the staircase to the main room, her hair dragging behind her.

Rapunzel lingered at the very base of the stairs, glancing at the trapdoor. Mother wouldn’t like her being out of bed this late, but it wasn’t like she was able to sleep, anyways, not with the crying. She’d just make sure to be quiet, and once she got the baby to stop she would go _straight away_ back to bed.

Making up her mind, Rapunzel tiptoed to the baby’s crib and crouched down beside it. She looked at him thoughtfully, her brows drawing together. His face was flushed, eyes screwed shut as he wailed. Now this was the hard part- figuring out what to do.

“Hi baby,” Rapunzel whispered. “Please stop crying?”

Her words didn’t seem to have any effect on him. Part of her wondered if he could even hear her over his own voice, but she couldn’t risk being any louder, lest Mother hear.

Okay, so something else, then. Biting her lip, Rapunzel leaned over and carefully lifted the baby from the crib. He was heavier than she’d expected, so she sat down, folding her legs underneath her. Cradled in her arms, the baby’s head rested up by her shoulder, and it was then that Rapunzel noticed he’d stopped crying.

His wide, blue eyes were fixed on hers, still tinged with red and brimming with tears. His breathing, once quick and gasping, was slowing to a more controlled pace. Pressed together as they were, she could even feel his heartbeat start to calm, a faint _tha-thump_ that beat in time with her own. The baby closed his eyes with a sigh and snuggled closer to her, and Rapunzel felt warmth blossom in her chest.

He’d just wanted to be held.

Rapunzel let out a soft giggle. “Silly baby,” she cooed. “If you wanted to be held you could’a just said so!”

Well, not really, but it was funny to think that all that fuss had been over something so _simple._ Careful not to jostle the baby, Rapunzel scooted back against the wall, letting it take some of her weight as she leaned against it.

The baby’s breathing grew deep and even, inaudible in the sudden silence of the tower. His dark eyelashes, still damp with tears, cast shadows across his cheeks. A sense of calmness washed over Rapunzel, something bright and pure and true settling around her heart, in a space that seemed made to hold it.

So what if the baby cried every now and then. She may not have had a say in his coming here. She may have been unsure about this new addition in her life, unsure about the change it would bring. But in that moment, Rapunzel knew that she would always be there for him.

She pressed a kiss to his forehead. “Don’t worry,” she said. “I promise you’ll never be alone.”

Eventually Rapunzel dozed off, her tiredness claiming her. Curled up on the floor with her little brother in her arms, it was the first full night’s sleep she’d had in days, and the best one she’d had in years.

~*~

__

_may these words be the first_  
_to find your ears_  
_the world is brighter than the sun_  
_now that you’re here_  
_though your eyes will need some time_  
_to adjust_  
_to the overwhelming light_  
_surrounding us_

~*~


	3. light, part II - with every heartbeat i have left

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Title: _light, part II - with every heartbeat i have left_  
>  Rating: K+  
> Warnings: **description of injury and blood,** implied child neglect  
>  Timeline: Varian is 3, Rapunzel is 7 (pre-movie)  
> Summary: Nobody had told Rapunzel sisterhood was going to be easy, but a warning might have been nice.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Hi readers! There’s some important info ahead, so **PLEASE READ!** I can’t thank you enough for the wonderful response I’ve received so far. A lot of you have been really excited for this, which makes me even more excited! I’m going to be updating about once a week, more frequently if they’re shorter/less heavy chapters. Also, I’m on tumblr under the same username, so feel free to come say hello or ask me questions about the au! As long as it’s not a spoiler, I’ll be happy to respond.
> 
> On another note, I’ve deliberated long and hard about this, and finally come to the conclusion that Pascal will **not** appear in this au. I don’t have anything against Pascal, don’t get me wrong. I believe he’s a really important part of Rapunzel’s life and character development, and have loved what the series is doing with him thus far. But in this au, Varian being present sort of defeats the purpose of Pascal’s character. I feel like if I kept him in the story, he would feel diminished as a character, side-lined in all the action and drama, and forced to be present. So in this au, that evil snake never killed Pascal’s mom, and Pascal is off living his happy lil’ chameleon life. So sorry for any huge Pascal fans!
> 
> Anyways, please read on and enjoy! (And don’t forget to leave feedback!) - Aqua

_light, part II - with every heartbeat i have left_

~*~

There was a certain learning curve involved with being a big sister, Rapunzel had decided.

Sometimes, it was in the small things. Noticing the signs that Varian was getting upset (chewing on his glove was a good indicator). Knowing exactly how to calm him down (singing worked well, but sometimes he just needed to be held). Unconsciously memorizing what foods he liked, and what he didn’t (eventually Rapunzel had to ask Mother to stop bringing hazelnuts home, because they gave Varian a reaction). And figuring out exactly what funny voice to use to make him laugh (it was the most wonderfully contagious sound Rapunzel had ever heard).

There were things Rapunzel didn’t know _how_ she’d lived without. The warmth of his body next to hers, snuggled in bed together (Varian practically lived in Rapunzel’s room instead of his own, unless Mother was home). The sound of his voice, humming alongside her own (at three-years old, Varian hadn’t quite gotten all the words down yet). The curious light in his eyes whenever something caught his interest (and pretty much _everything_ caught his interest). And the constant reminder that she wasn’t alone.

But there was also a sense of responsibility that came with it, the daunting prospect of having someone who relied on you, and looked to you when things went wrong. The day Rapunzel was abruptly reminded of it was one she’d never forget.

It was late in the afternoon. Rapunzel laid on her stomach, stretched out on her bed with a pencil in her hand. Chewing her lip thoughtfully, she added a few more lines to her sketch, absentmindedly keeping an ear out for Varian downstairs.

Mother was out running errands for the day, leaving the siblings to their own devices (after they’d finished their daily chores and schoolwork, of course). It had been Varian who’d suggested drawing pictures for their mother, as a gift for when she came back. Hence the papers scattered all over Rapunzel’s bed.

Varian had run downstairs to grab their paints, wanting to add some color to his drawing. Only a few moments passed before Rapunzel heard him calling for her.

“Rapun’el!” His voice was shrill with fear. “Help!”

That got her out of bed _quick,_ papers sent flying as she jumped to the floor. Rapunzel ran down the stairs two at a time, her heart jolting at the sight in front of her.

Varian was on the floor, his gloved hands pressed around the sole of his left foot. He looked up at her with wide, scared eyes, tears streaming down his cheeks. “Rapun’el, it _hurts,”_ he sobbed.

“Varian!” Rapunzel hurried over and knelt next to him, one hand on his shoulder. “Varian, what happened?”

Varian’s breathing hitched. “I- I think that I j- jus’ stepped on- on something,” he told her shakily.

“Hey, hey, it’s okay,” Rapunzel soothed him. “Can I see it?”

It wasn’t the first time Varian had gotten hurt- toddlers were very clumsy. At least, that’s what Mother always said. And Varian was a curious, active child. Rapunzel had taken care of her fair share of his stubbed toes and skinned knees before; she was sure she could handle this too.

Struggling to catch his breath, Varian nodded and moved his hands away.

Upon seeing the injury, Rapunzel’s first instinct was to scream.

A wedge of jagged glass stuck out of Varian’s foot, streaked with blood. It wasn’t a clean cut by any means; the surrounding skin had been torn ragged, even exposing some of the tissue beneath. It looked _deep,_ maybe an inch or so, and it was bleeding badly.

Rapunzel was gripped with ice cold fear, but she didn’t let herself show any of it on her face; she didn’t want to make Varian panic even more. Instead, she took a deep, steeling breath.

“Okay,” she said slowly, her mind racing. “Don’t worry, Varian, we’re gonna make it all better.” She knew her hair could heal the wound easily, but not with the shard still embedded in it. Her stomach dropped as she realized what she had to do. “Listen, I’m going to get it out, and then I can make it feel better, okay?” She spoke with a forced calmness she didn’t feel. “It’s gonna hurt, but only for a little bit.”

Varian sniffled. “Promise?”

“I promise.”

“O- okay…” Carefully, Varian stretched his foot towards her and turned his face away, his eyes squeezed shut.

Swallowing hard, Rapunzel gingerly took his foot in her hand, her other one hovering by the glass shard uncertainly. Instinct told her to just pull it out fast, but she didn’t want to tear any more skin. So… quickly, but carefully.

“When we finish here, we can go back to drawing,” Rapunzel said, trying to distract him. “What’s your picture gonna be?”

“Um, maybe a- a flower? And-”

Rapunzel tugged the shard free, and Varian cried out in pain, a fresh wave of tears spilling down his face.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” Rapunzel set the shard aside quickly, “it’s gone, okay? All done.”

Varian’s whole body shook as he cried, biting down on one of his gloves to muffle the sound. He was always very conscious about making too much noise- Mother scolded him for it quite frequently.

“It’s okay, it’s over, you did such a good job,” Rapunzel praised, wrapping her hair around his foot. “The bad part’s all done now.”

Taking only a second to make sure the hair was secure, Rapunzel began to sing. Her voice wavered with panic, and she stumbled over the first few words before she forced herself to slow down.

A familiar, warm light spread along her hair, and gradually Varian began to calm, his sobs hiccoughing to a stop as he got his breathing under control. Rapunzel could almost sense the exact moment his pain vanished, like the room had let out a sigh of relief.

She had once asked Mother, out of curiosity, what the magic felt like. After all, her own spell didn’t affect her (with how often she sang her song, Rapunzel would’ve been aged backwards to an infant at this point).

Mother had said that it was like the sun’s light shining down on you; almost heavy enough to feel, yet soft, like a blanket draped over your shoulders. Rapunzel, having never been outside before, could only imagine what it must be like to feel the full strength of its rays, not just slivers of it through a window.

From what she imagined, it must feel pretty good.

 _“… what once was mine,”_ Rapunzel finished, the glow fading slowly from her hair.

Varian was staring at her in amazement. No matter how many times he’d seen the spell work, he always seemed fascinated by it.

Smiling, Rapunzel unwrapped his foot to reveal soft, smooth, unbroken skin. “There, all better!”

Varian broke into a huge grin. “Thank you!” he threw himself into her arms, squeezing her tightly. “Thank you, thank you, _thank you!”_

Rapunzel laughed, almost giddy with relief, and hugged him back. “Of course! We’re family, we’ll always take care of each other.”

“Really?” Varian looked up at her, his blue eyes soft with wonder.

It made Rapunzel’s heart swell almost painfully. “Yes, really,” she said gently, brushing the tear marks from his cheek. “I promise. Now how about we go finish our drawings?”

“Yeah!” Varian scrambled to his feet, and it was like the injury had never existed. He raced over to the basket of paints, gathering it in his arms with only slight difficulty. “I’m gonna use blue on mine!”

“That sounds really pretty!” Brushing her dress off, Rapunzel stood and placed a steadying arm on Varian’s back, guiding him, her other hand trailing the handrail as they made their way up the stairs. “I’ll bet Mother’s gonna love it.”

The blinding smile Varian gave her then made the last of the lingering terror melt away, and Rapunzel knew for sure that everything was alright.

~*~

_i will soften every edge_  
_i’ll hold the world to its best_  
_and i’ll do better_  
_with every heartbeat i have left_  
_i will defend your every breath_  
_and i’ll do better_

~*~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> P.S. here’s some links to amazing art made for this au by snowprincess-artist on tumblr!
> 
> http://snowprincess-artist.tumblr.com/post/168050766891/so-there-was-a-moon-theory-au-made-by  
> http://snowprincess-artist.tumblr.com/post/168107088841/havent-seen-the-new-episode-yet-currently


	4. light, part III - i hereby pledge

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Title: _light, part III – i hereby pledge_  
>  Rating: K+  
> Warnings: emotional abuse, gaslighting, self-depreciation  
> Timeline: Varian is 5 and Rapunzel is 9 (pre-movie)  
> Summary: When a simple mistake leaves Varian shattered, it’s up to Rapunzel to pick up the pieces.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Hi readers! This update comes to you a day early because classes are over, finally, so I have more free time to write. Barring any unforeseen complications, **the next chapter will be up next Friday.**
> 
> So this series kind of takes place in three parts; Rapunzel and Varian’s childhood in the tower, the altered events of the movie, and then the series timeline. It might seem kind of slow right now, with chapters that are short and sweet ‘filler’, but it’s all super necessary to truly understand the relationship between Rapunzel and Varian. I have huge plans that I’d really like to see through to the end, but full disclosure here, it can get really hard to stick with a project this big. Reader feedback is honestly gonna be so important; I’m in it for the long haul, and I hope you guys are, too. **Please don’t ever hesitate to leave a comment,** as a nice way to show your support for the story. I appreciate each and every one.
> 
> Anyways, that’s enough from my soapbox, so please read on and enjoy! - Aqua

__

_light, part III - i hereby pledge_

~*~

Varian watched the glow of Rapunzel’s hair start to fade as she finished her song, a lingering feeling of calmness settling in the tower.

Mother smiled at Rapunzel, brushing a hand over her hair. “Thank you, flower. Now, how about you help me put these groceries away and get dinner ready?” She glanced over at Varian, who was hanging onto the stair banister. “Varian, be a dear and set the table, would you? But go wash up first,” she added.

“Yes, Mother!” Varian chirped, hopping off the last step. 

Their washroom, which branched off from Mother’s room, was a tiny space. It held a round, metal tub they used for bathing, suspended over a small fire pit on four sturdy legs so they could boil the water to heat and clean it. It was drawn up from the lake beside the tower, through a pipe Mother had installed. All you had to do was push the pump, and water came out of the pipe. Varian was sure there was a more efficient way to gather and heat water, but he hadn’t figured out the details yet.

He picked up the small bucket laying on the floor next to the tub and put it under the pipe, pushing down on the pump a couple times until it was about half-full. Setting the bucket down, he grabbed a bar of soap from the basket that held their cleaning stuff. He pulled his gloves off and dipped them into the bucket, rubbing at them with the soap. A flurry of bubbles flew into the air, mimicking the anticipation he felt bubbling in his stomach.

Today was the day. He was finally going to ask Mother to brush his hair. It was something he’d secretly wanted for years now; watching those moments between her and Rapunzel wistfully. He knew his powers didn’t work the same way, and that there was no practical reason to it, but it was more about the _process_ itself.

Rapunzel had picked up on it, of course. She’d been brushing his hair for a while now, and while those moments were special to him, there was a difference. He wanted that same closeness with their mother, and Rapunzel had been very supportive, suggesting he simply ask her.

Drying his hands on a towel, Varian grabbed his hairbrush from the basket, taking a deep breath. He could do this. Besides, the worst she could do was say no.

With renewed determination, Varian left the washroom. Mother was in the kitchen, her back to them as she chopped up some vegetables for dinner. Varian glanced over at Rapunzel, who smiled encouragingly and made a _‘go-on’_ motion.

Varian hesitantly tugged on Mother’s dress. “Mother?”

Mother glanced down at him, one eyebrow raised. “Yes, what is it?”

“Um, I- I was wondering…” Swallowing, Varian held the brush up, giving her a shy smile. “Do you think, maybe, that you could-”

“Varian!” Mother recoiled from him abruptly, like she’d touched a hot stove. _“Where are your gloves?”_

Varian froze, his brain screeching to a halt. He stared at his hands, his _bare hands,_ clenched around the brush’s handle, and his breathing quickened. “I… I took them off to wash, and…” Realization and horror swept through him at the same time, leaving him weak in the knees. “I must’ve forgotten to-”

“Go put them on _immediately.”_

Dropping the hairbrush, Varian all but fled back to the washroom. He fished his gloves out of the soapy water and scrambled to pull them on, the wet leather cold and heavy on his skin. His breathing sounded high and shallow in his own ears, ringing against the thundering echo of his pounding heart.

Stupid, stupid, _stupid._ How could he have forgotten his gloves? 

Biting down on his lip to stop it from trembling, Varian hurried back to Mother, knowing that if he kept her waiting it would only further upset her. He stood in front of her with his head tipped down, clasping his hands together to resist the urge to chew his glove.

“That’s better,” Mother said, calmer. “Now, do you know _why_ you wear those gloves?”

Varian nodded, keeping his eyes to the floor. He hadn’t forgotten.

“Good, good. Then you know that taking them off is _bad,_ and that by doing so, you are putting this family in danger. Did you even _think_ about what might’ve happened? I have no idea how you could be so careless and disobedient.”

She let the words hang in the air, silently demanding a response. “I’m sorry, Mother,” Varian whispered hoarsely.

A long moment stretched out before Mother finally dismissed him. “To your room; there’ll be no dinner tonight.”

“Yes, Mother.” Varian’s feet moved of their own accord, and he vanished downstairs, pulling the trapdoor closed behind him.

~*~

Rapunzel stared at her plate blankly, feeling sick to the stomach.

Every time she moved to pick up her fork, she saw Varian’s pale, terror-stricken face. She pictured him alone in his room, going hungry because of a simple mistake, and a new wave of nausea would seize her.

Across the table, Mother sighed. “Honestly, Rapunzel, don’t be so overdramatic. Varian should know better; I wouldn’t’ve had to punish him had he simply followed the rules.”

“I understand, Mother.” The words were automatic and hollow, feeling like dust in her mouth.

Mother gave her a concerned look. “Then what’s the matter, dear?”

“I just… had a late lunch, that’s all.” Rapunzel managed a faint smile. “I’m sure I’ll be hungry in a little while.”

Mother pursed her lips. “Yes, well, make sure you don’t eat _too_ late,” she amended, pushing up from her chair. “Clean up here, would you, dear?”

“Okay.” As Mother disappeared into her room, Rapunzel stood and gathered their dishes, carrying them over to their kitchen. Moving quickly and quietly, she slid her plate into one of the cupboards, so she could give it to Varian later. After neatly stacking the rest of the dishes in the basin to wash later, she started wiping the table down.

Mother reemerged from her bedroom wearing her cloak, her satchel slung across her shoulder. “I’ll be out late this evening, Rapunzel,” she said. “I trust you can handle making sure that you and your brother get to bed on time?”

Rapunzel turned around to face her. “Yes, Mother,” she replied dutifully.

Mother smiled. “Very good. Don’t forget to pull the ladder up behind me.”

The rolling ladder was a fairly recent addition; sturdy wooden planks made up the rungs, strung together with two lengths of thick, white cord. One end was attached to a heavy wheel, mounted on the windowsill, and when Mother came home, all Rapunzel had to do was push it over the edge and let it unfurl. To pull it back up, she just turned a crank on the wheel to draw the ladder in.

Mother said it was a safer way for her to get in and out, because it allowed her to block up the old door. That way, no one could get in the tower to get them unless Rapunzel let the ladder down.

It was a responsibility Rapunzel was still getting used to. “Of course, Mother,” she said. “Goodnight.”

Mother drew her into a hug. “Goodnight, Rapunzel, I love you.”

“I love you more.”

“I love you most.”

Rapunzel watched her mother get a few steps away from the tower before starting the arduous process of reeling the ladder in, the rungs clattering loudly against stone as they were dragged up the tower wall. She finished just in time to see Mother vanish through the cave at the far side of the valley, leaving them well and truly alone.

Flexing her sore hands, Rapunzel turned to the trapdoor that separated Varian’s room from the main level. She knocked gently on the worn wood, raising her voice slightly.

“Varian? Mother’s gone, you can come up now. I saved you some dinner.”

There was a clamor of movement beneath her, and Rapunzel waited patiently for Varian to poke his head up through the trapdoor.

Except he didn’t.

“Varian?” Rapunzel lifted the door tentatively, calling through the small gap. “Varian, is everything okay?”

Still no answer.

Chewing her lip, Rapunzel tipped the door open the rest of the way, letting it fall back with a soft thud. She made her way down the stairs, ducking her head to avoid the low ceiling, and wrapped her arms around herself.

It was always a bit colder in Varian’s room; the stones that made up his walls and floor weren’t as well insulated as the rest of the tower. It was sparsely decorated as well; all he had was his bed, mostly empty bookshelf, and a single candle stand to provide light.

“You heard what Mother said.” Varian was sitting on his bed, his back to Rapunzel. The candle’s flame wavered, throwing shadows on the walls. “I’m in trouble, you’re not supposed’ta come down here.”

Rapunzel took another step closer. “Mother’s left,” she said quietly.

Varian was silent for a moment. “But… she was right,” he murmured, not looking at her. “I’m- what I did was bad. _I’m_ bad.”

Concern surged through Rapunzel, driving her to sit on the bed next to Varian and put a hand on his shoulder. “Varian, don’t say that! It’s not-”

“It _is_ true!” Varian insisted, shrugging her hand off. “Mother’s right! I- I have this _badness_ in me, and I- if I don’t keep my gloves on, it’ll come out! And you could get hurt!” He wrung his hands together anxiously, gloved fingers picking at more of the worn leather. “So _that’s_ why I should be in trouble; I forgot to put my gloves back on, and that’s a _bad_ thing. _I’m bad.”_

Rapunzel stared at him, feeling like she’d been punched in the stomach. She never questioned Mother, neither of them did; Mother was older and smarter than them, and she knew stuff about the world that they didn’t. She’d never given them a reason to doubt her before; she loved them, took care of them, and kept them safe. It was pretty much a fact of life; the sky is blue, water is wet, Mother knows best.

But deep in her heart, Rapunzel knew Mother was wrong about this.

Determination flooded through her, like a sudden jolt of electricity through her veins, and Rapunzel took Varian by the hand, fingers curling around the edge of his glove.

Varian whirled around in alarm, his other hand grasping her wrist. “No, wait! Rapunzel, don’t-”

 _“Hey,”_ Rapunzel said softly. “It’s okay. Trust me.”

Hesitant, Varian’s eyes darted from his glove to Rapunzel’s face. Swallowing hard, he relented, and let his other hand fall away.

Giving him a reassuring smile, Rapunzel tugged the glove off his hand.

Varian flinched as the glove came away, jerking his hand as if to instinctively pull it back.

Rapunzel held fast, her grip gentle but firm. “It’s okay.” She covered his hand with both of her own. His skin was smooth, and slightly cold to the touch. “You’re okay, I’m okay, everything’s okay.”

Varian was frozen, staring at their hands with a mixture of horror, confusion, and hope clashing across his face.

Rapunzel laced her fingers with his, pressing their palms together. “See? I trust you.” 

Slowly, Varian’s fingers curled around hers and squeezed. His breathing hitched, and his eyes drifted up to meet hers, shining with tears.

Wordlessly, Rapunzel pulled him into a hug, and Varian broke. He clung to her, shaking with sobs, and gripped her hand like it was a lifeline. 

Rapunzel held on just as tightly. She ran her other hand through his hair soothingly, his head tucked beneath her chin, and let him cry. After a moment, she realized she could just barely hear Varian murmuring something, in between each sob and ragged breath.

“-love you,” Varian was saying. “I love you, I love you, I love you.”

Rapunzel’s eyes stung, and she held him even closer. “I love you too,” she breathed. “And don’t you forget it.”

~*~

_you are loved_

_you are loved more than you know_

_i hereby pledge_

__

_all of my days to prove it so_

__

_though your heart is far too young_

__

_to realize_

__

_the unimaginable light_

__

_you hold inside_

~*~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> P.S. This chapter was heavily inspired by a lovely ficlet written by earial13, link below
> 
> http://aquaquadrant.tumblr.com/post/168033660004/earial13-aquaquadrant-ok-tangled-fans-so-we


	5. the unconscious mind

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Title: _the unconscious mind_  
>  Rating: G  
> Warnings: none  
> Timeline: Varian is 4, Rapunzel is 8 (pre-movie)  
> Summary: Varian has a nightmare; Mother Gothel and Rapunzel have very different ways of handling it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Hey there readers! Thanks as always for the lovely feedback. So, this chapter is sort of a backstory to some of the things discussed in the previous one. Keep in mind, from this point on things will not necessarily be in chronological order. Remember to check the timeline given in each chapter summary so you know exactly when something’s taking place (and if you’re ever confused just hmu!)
> 
> Read on and enjoy, and don’t forget to leave a comment if you like it! - Aqua

_the unconscious mind_

~*~

“Mother?”

Gothel was woken by a small voice and a hesitant tap on the shoulder. She sat up in bed groggily, narrowing her eyes in confusion at the figure standing beside her.

“Varian, what are you doing out of bed?” Gothel only just managed to keep the irritation out of her voice; she wasn’t thrilled about being woken up.

Varian fidgeted with his gloves. “I… I had a bad dream,” he whispered, eyes shining with tears. “About m- my powers.”

Gothel groaned inwardly; she could tell this wouldn’t be a quick fix.

A couple days prior, she had told Varian about the true nature of his powers. She would have preferred to wait until he was a bit older, but he’d been whining about the gloves again. He didn’t like their smell, they made it hard to do things, his skin was getting pinched… more complaining. So, Gothel had simply made him understand why he had to wear them.

In hindsight, she might have come on a bit too strong. Maybe a few too many details about exactly _how_ the Moon’s spell worked, painting too vivid of an image for a child his age. She hadn’t thought much of it then, but she was paying for it now.

Gothel opened her arms with a sigh. “Come here.”

Varian needed no more prompting and climbed up onto the bed, curling up in her arms. Gothel rubbed his back in small circles, hoping to soothe the trembling child.

“There, there,” she hummed. “Now, tell me what this is all about.”

Varian took a shaky breath. “Everything was dark. I- I could hear singing, someone singing my song. It w- was _everywhere,_ all around me, a- and I tried to tell them to stop, but they didn’t! And then… I saw Rapunzel. She- she was holding my h- hands, and I tried to tell her not to, and to get away, b- but I couldn’t move! The song just kept going, and Rapunzel, she-” His voice broke, and he buried his face in Gothel’s shoulder.

“I see.” Gothel pursed her lips. “Listen to me, Varian. There’s no need to be upset. So long as you wear your gloves, the spell won’t work, and you can’t harm anyone. So just keep your gloves on, and there won’t be a problem, understand?”

Varian sniffled. “It w- was so scary…”

Gothel shushed him gently. “And it was just a dream,” she said. “Alright? So no more crying, now, dear. Honestly, you shouldn’t even be up at this hour.”

“M’sorry,” Varian mumbled, wiping his face with the back of his glove.

“It’s alright,” Gothel amended. “Let’s just get you back to bed.” 

Scooping Varian up, she slid out of bed and carried him back downstairs, ducking to avoid the low ceiling above the staircase. Gothel lowered the small boy onto his bed and pulled the covers up, brushing a hand over his hair.

“Goodnight, Varian. Now, don’t get up from bed again.”

“Yes, Mother. I love you.”

"I love you too."

Gothel closed the trapdoor behind her, and that was that.

~*~

Rapunzel watched Varian out of the corner of her eye, her brows knit with concern.

Her brother, who was curled up on her chair reading his workbook, had been staring at the same page for almost five minutes. Rapunzel knew it wasn’t for his lack of reading ability; he was quite advanced in his schoolwork for his age (not that she had any metric to measure him by; it was simply something Mother said).

Varian had been acting weird all morning. He seemed… withdrawn, very unlike his usual talkative, bubby self. He’d scarcely said a word to her, and clung to Mother like a shadow until she’d left a few hours prior. Rapunzel was starting to wonder if he was coming down with something.

Chewing her lip, Rapunzel sat up and pushed her own schoolwork aside, making room on the bed. “Varian?” she called hesitantly.

Warily, Varian glanced up from his book.

“Come here?” Rapunzel offered, patting the bed.

Avoiding her gaze, Varian set his book down and climbed up on the bed, tucking his knees to his chest.

In the sudden uncomfortable silence, Rapunzel was at a loss for what to say. It was clear Varian wasn’t going to take the initiative, but she really didn’t know where to start.

Okay, so he was feeling upset about something, and didn’t seem to want to talk about it. She didn’t want to push or pry, but she did want to comfort him, help him feel better... let him know she was there for him.

An idea came to her, and Rapunzel gestured for Varian to scoot closer, which he did somewhat reluctantly. Smiling, she reached over and grabbed her hairbrush from the nightstand.

Varian knit his brows together. “What are you-”

Rapunzel gently ran her brush through his hair and started singing. She let her eyes fall shut as she always did, losing herself in the song. Her thoughts drifted away, and her focus shifted to the small things; the shape of each word as it left her mouth, the easy motion of the brush, the sound of Varian’s breathing beside her. The spell had this way of calming her down, making her worries seem far away; she hoped Varian could feel some of that, too.

The song finished, and Rapunzel opened her eyes as the last of the glow faded from her hair. She set the brush down and folded her hands in her lap, waiting for Varian’s reaction.

When Varian spoke, it was almost a whisper. “Why… did you do that?”

“Because I wanted to make you feel better,” Rapunzel answered. “I always feel better after Mother brushes my hair.”

Varian was silent for a moment. Rapunzel was starting to worry that she had done something wrong when he finally spoke.

“I had a bad dream last night.” He looked down at his gloves, picking at the leather absentmindedly, and Rapunzel frowned.

The gloves had been a constant since he was a baby, from the time he’d started crawling. At first, Mother had tied bits of string around his wrists so he couldn’t pull the gloves off. It had taken him a while to get used to them, but eventually he’d stopped, and Mother stopped tying the string. He wore them all the time, except when washing and sleeping. Rapunzel almost never saw him without them.

She had never really understood why they were necessary. Mother said it was to protect them, to stop Varian from hurting them, but that had never made sense to her. The thought that Varian might be dangerous just… didn’t compute. She knew, vaguely, what Varian’s powers could do, but that didn’t mean she had to be afraid of them, because that would mean being afraid of _him._

Rapunzel put a hand on his shoulder, a silent comfort, and Varian exhaled shakily.

“It was about my powers, and… you got hurt.” His voice dropped at the end of his sentence, and he curled in on himself even more.

Rapunzel blinked, taken aback. Was that why he had been so withdrawn from her? Out of the worry… the _fear_ that he might hurt her? 

“That sounds… really scary,” she said softly. “I’m sorry that happened to you. It’s… okay to be upset. But, I promise you don’t have to worry about that happening, okay? Because I’m not going anywhere.”

Varian looked up at her, eyes shining with emotion, before wrapping her in a hug. “Thank you,” he murmured. “For everything.”

Rapunzel hugged him back. “Anytime, Varian.”

~*~


	6. snowfall and firelight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Title: _snowfall and firelight_  
>  Rating: G  
> Warnings: none  
> Timeline: Varian is 8, Rapunzel is 12 (pre-movie)  
> Summary: Snow days are a big deal at the tower.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Hi readers! I know it's a few days early, but I'm actually going to be moving this week, and I knew there'd be a small chance of me getting anything posted on Friday. So just consider this a little Christmas gift from me to you. Happy holidays! (Keep in mind though that there won't be a chapter this Friday, but next Friday.)
> 
> So I realized that I’ve had Varian cry in literally every single chapter so far, and figured we could always use more mindless fluff. And hey, it’s the holiday season, so what better time for it, right? Read on and enjoy, and please remember to leave feedback! - Aqua

__

_snowfall and firelight_

~*~

“Varian…”

“Hm?” Varian rolled over in bed at the sound of Rapunzel’s voice. “Wha’is it?”

“Varian, wake up!”

It took him a second to sit up, the still-darkness of the room confusing him. “Rapunzel?” Yawning, Varian grabbed his gloves from the nightstand and pulled them on, rubbing his eyes sleepily. “Mm, what is it? Is it morning already? Is Mother back?”

She wouldn’t be happy to see Varian sleeping in Rapunzel’s bed, because _“honestly, Varian, you have your own perfectly good bedroom!”_ The habit had started when they were very young, but they had yet to break it; they both slept better in each other’s company.

Rapunzel shook her head, smiling secretively, and leaned in, her green eyes wide and bright. “It’s snowing!”

Varian gasped, suddenly wide awake. “Really?” He broke into a grin that mirrored Rapunzel’s and kicked off the covers. “Let’s go!”

The siblings raced down the stairs, not bothering to contain their excitement seeing as Mother wasn’t home. Unprompted, they both got busy; Varian set about lighting their fireplace as Rapunzel started fixing hot cocoa, grinding some roasted and shelled cocoa beans into a liquid paste. As they worked, Rapunzel hummed the tune to a Christmas song, Varian echoing her. 

It wasn’t a common routine, but they both knew it well; the few snow days winter brought them were precious, and eagerly anticipated as the seasons changed. It was Varian’s favorite time of year, and not just because his birthday was coming up, either. Snow was a fascinating natural phenomenon, even when observed from inside, and he loved the way it made him feel.

Once the fire got going, it didn’t take long for the milk to boil, and soon Rapunzel was pressing a warm mug into his hand. Smiling, she added some sugar to her own drink (Varian preferred his slightly bitter) and ushered him over to the window.

“Just _look_ at it,” Rapunzel breathed, pulling the curtain back.

Varian’s eyes widened. “Oh, _wow.”_

Outside, it was almost as bright as day. The full moon, hanging in the pitch blackness of the sky, cast its brilliant glow over the valley, transforming the entire landscape into a sea of unbroken white. Falling snow reflected its light, sparkling like a meteor shower as it rained down in ever-changing spirals.

“It’s beautiful,” Varian sighed, pressing a hand against the window. He turned and gave Rapunzel a grin. “Snow day?”

“Snow day!” Rapunzel agreed.

They got settled comfortably, wrapping themselves up in Rapunzel’s hair as if it were a massive quilt. As the wind raged outside, they sipped their hot cocoa and chatted, Rapunzel listening to Varian gush about the physical properties of snow.

“- and it’s in, like, a kind-of-solid state,” Varian was saying. “Which is weird, ‘cuz it’s frozen water, so you- you’d think it’d be hard, like ice, but it’s not! It’s soft and light and can be all squished up, yet it can be packed into solid shapes.” He sighed wistfully. “Oh, what I wouldn’t _give_ to look at it under a microscope.” He’d read all about the fancy instrument from one of his science books, and was planning to ask for one for his birthday.

Rapunzel chuckled. “So if you jumped on, like, a big pile of snow, would it hold your weight?”

“Um… in theory, yes, but only if it were deep enough,” Varian answered. “There’d have to be enough volume to account for your mass, probably several feet, at least- and _hey,_ isn’t it _weird_ that we measure snow in feet? Like, okay, we measure rainfall and snowfall in feet, but if you just had a sample of snow by itself, would you use grams, like for solids, or liters, like liquids? It really makes you think…”

When their mugs were empty, stomachs warm and full, Rapunzel brought out the old storybooks.

They didn’t really celebrate any holidays; Mother was bad enough about remembering birthdays as it was. So they’d gotten their idea of Christmas traditions from their storybooks. Singing carols, drinking cocoa by the fire, decorating a tree, and exchanging gifts… they didn’t really know the purpose behind it, but they enjoyed it all the same.

And it didn’t matter that they were little kid books, or that the siblings knew them almost by memory by now; Rapunzel read them with just as much enthusiasm as the very first time, a tradition of their own making.

“-and so,” Rapunzel turned the page, “young Franz awoke early in the morning and hurried outside to check his boot, to see what St. Nicolas had left him. He found-”

“A colony of spiders!” Varian broke in, waggling his fingers in her face like spider’s legs.

Rapunzel laughed, giving him a playful shove. _“No,_ he did not find _spiders_ in his boot! He _found-”_

“Candy, and toys, and a brand-new winter scarf!” Varian chorused along with her, familiar with the story. And even if he, personally, found it extremely unlikely that one man could visit every single child in a night, he enjoyed the story all the same.

Eventually, they ended up just watching the snowfall, leaning against each other in silence as the fire roared beside them. Varian hummed with contentment, reveling in the warm, fuzzy feeling that had spread throughout his body, all the way to the tips of his gloves.

These were moments he cherished more than anything. They kept their lives busy, and for good reason; boredom, he’d learned, was one of the worst things ever. It had this way of making him acutely aware of every square inch of the tower, and of how few there were. Walls would seem to close in, and instead of dragging on, time would start to escape him, like the world was moving on without him. Filling his days with all sorts of work, activities, and hobbies made them feel more meaningful, like they weren’t being wasted.

But every now and then, it was okay to slow things down. To just sit and appreciate the moment he was in- no thoughts, no worries, nothing to do. Right now, curled up next to his sister, it was enough just to _be._

They remained like that for a while, longer than Varian could keep track of, before Rapunzel quietly broke the silence.

“Varian… do you ever wonder what it’d be like to be… out there?” she asked, her voice soft with longing.

Varian gave her a curious look, his lip quirking with humor. “Aside from the below freezing temperatures, you mean?” 

They snickered at that, but Varian quickly sobered, sensing that something was weighing on Rapunzel. “Seriously, though… I don’t know. Why, do you?”

Rapunzel made a noncommittal noise, playing with a strand of hair. “I mean, I know what Mother’s said about going outside, and of course I would _never_ disobey her. But it’s just so weird to think about, that there’s a whole entire _world_ that we haven’t seen! I just wish… I don’t know, it’s complicated,” she sighed, glancing away.

Varian tilted his head thoughtfully. “Well, I think we’ll get out there someday.”

“Yeah?” Rapunzel sounded hopeful. “You really think so?”

“Yeah, for sure!” Varian exclaimed, putting an encouraging hand on her shoulder. “And- and we won’t have to worry about anything out there, because we’ll be together, and together we can handle anything.”

Rapunzel smiled. “Well, you’re right about that,” she said, pulling him closer. “It doesn’t matter where we end up, as long as we’re together.”

Varian sighed happily, resting his head on her shoulder. “Forever and always,” he murmured in agreement.

They drifted off to sleep right there on the floor, old storybooks and empty mugs strewn about. Even as the snow fell outside, and the fireplace went out, they kept each other warm through the rest of the night.

~*~


	7. pas de deux

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Title: _pas de deux_  
>  Rating: G  
> Warnings: none  
> Timeline: Varian is 6, Rapunzel is 10 (pre-movie)  
> Summary: Rapunzel teaches Varian to dance.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Hi there readers! Hope you all had a lovely holiday season. I want to thank you all again for your comments, especially those of you who manage to comment regularly. I really appreciate it! Feedback is the best source of inspiration and motivation, so if you like it and wanna see more, then tell me! In other news, we're finally getting this moving business settled, so updates from here on out should be consistent; a new chapter every Friday.
> 
> So this chapter is mainly pure, self-indulgent fluff; I remembered it was canon that Rapunzel likes to dance, and I figured Varian would take to it as well, and since I’m a dancer myself I couldn’t resist putting it in. Please read on and enjoy, and don't forget to give feedback! - Aqua

__

_pas de deux_

~*~

“Plie’, releve’, plie’, releve’- good, just like that!”

As Rapunzel moved through the exercise, she watched Varian out of the corner of her eye, his ankles wobbly and uncertain as he rose up on his toes.

“Very good!” Rapunzel encouraged him, lowering from her last releve’. She lifted her arms above her head and slowly reached towards the floor. “And then we port de bras-”

“Now you’re just makin’ up words!” Varian protested, struggling to mimic her movements.

“Am not!” Rapunzel laughed. “It’s French.”

“What’s it mean?”

“Um… that, I don’t know. But try not to rock back on your heels when you go forward, you kind of go up and over instead of straight out.”

Sticking his tongue out in concentration, Varian adjusted his position. “Like that?”

Rapunzel glanced up from her own stretch and smiled at him. “Yes, much better!”

Ballet was a hobby Rapunzel had picked up very young. It was Mother’s suggestion; something to occupy her time with, and a good way to get exercise. She taught herself, copying the forms and movements from some reference books Mother had gotten her, and loved to make up dances (even if no one was playing any music).

Varian had always liked watching her dance. When he was a toddler, he’d sometimes dance with her, in that fun, silly way toddlers did. But now that he was a bit older, he’d started to get more interested in it, and had asked Rapunzel to teach him.

It had only been a couple days, but Varian was catching on fast. Rapunzel was thrilled to be sharing this with him; she enjoyed dancing, of course, but now it felt all the more special.

“And, come up!” Rapunzel straightened, her hair falling back over her shoulders, and opened her arms to the side. “Out to second.”

Varian followed her lead, sliding his foot out to widen his stance.

“And again; plie’, releve’, plie’, releve’…”

~*~

Rapunzel tilted her head thoughtfully. “Tondu’,” she said.

Varian slid his foot forward, toes pointed.

“Passe’.”

Varian picked his right foot up to his knee, his supporting leg shaking slightly.

“Coupe’.”

Hesitating, Varian dropped his foot down to his ankle, relaxing at Rapunzel’s approving nod. It had been about a month since Varian started training, and Rapunzel was quizzing him on ballet terms. Or the basics, at least. There was plenty she was still working on, herself. But though she didn’t claim to be perfect, teaching Varian had really helped improve her technique. And, if she was being honest, she’d started taking dance more seriously instead of just a way to pass the time. Whenever they did something together, it felt more important. 

“First position.”

Varian put his heels together, toes fanned out to the sides.

Rapunzel bit back a grin. “… port de bras?”

It took Varian a second to realize she was teasing him, and he shot her an affronted look. She hadn’t forgotten the time he’d claimed she made the term up. Sticking his tongue out at her playfully, Varian demonstrated the movement, raising his arms over his head and tipping forward at the waist. His gloved hands brushed the floor, and then he came up, struggling to keep a straight back.

“Nice job.” Rapunzel played innocent, her eyes flashing with mirth.

Varian gave her a triumphant smile, putting his hands on his hips. “Are you gonna let that go now?” 

“We’ll see,” Rapunzel amended. “Now, put _that_ attitude away, and show me what attitude looks like in ballet.”

Huffing a laugh, Varian lifted his leg up behind him, bent at the knee.

“Good.” Rapunzel grinned. “Now try it on releve’.”

~*~

Varian tapped his chin thoughtfully. “Maybe we could do a turn next? A pirouette?”

“Good idea, but I can’t really do turns, remember?” Rapunzel said sheepishly, picking up a fistful of her hair. She always got tangled up when spinning. “But you could do a turn while I do something else?”

The siblings were working on a dance routine of their own design. It was a little awkward since they didn’t have any music, and they didn’t have much space in the tower, but they still had fun coming up with ways to put movements together. They were planning on showing Mother once it was done.

After a moment of consideration, Varian surprised Rapunzel by putting his arms around her, as if in a hug, and attempting to pick her up.

Rapunzel looked down at him, amused. “What are you doing?”

“Tryn’a lift you!” Varian huffed. “Like in the picture.”

“Ah.” Rapunzel nodded thoughtfully. “I think you need to be a little bigger for that.”

The picture Varian was referring to was an illustration from one of their dance books; a ballerina being lifted into the air by her partner, her leg in a graceful extension behind her as he held her around the waist.

Varian’s face fell, but only for a moment. “Hey! Then you can lift me instead!”

Rapunzel laughed. “Alright! Here,” she spun him around gently and wrapped her arms around him, “you’ve got to jump up at the same time I lift you, okay? We’ll prepare on seven, up on eight.”

“Got it!” Varian nodded.

“Okay, here we go. Five, six, seven,” Rapunzel bent her legs in preparation, “eight!”

On the count, Varian pushed off the floor as Rapunzel lifted him up, his left leg stretching behind him and his right tucking beneath. He cleared almost a foot off the ground and seemed to hang there for a moment, suspended in the air, before landing.

Varian spun around to face her, eyes wide with excitement. “That was awesome! Can we do it in the dance?”

“Yeah, let’s do it!” Rapunzel agreed. “Let’s try it from the beginning, adding in that lift.”

“Okay!”

Both siblings hit their starting positions before Rapunzel counted them in.

“Five, six, seven, eight!”

~*~

Varian stared straight ahead, his expression tight as he balanced on his toes. His brows were furrowed in concentration, his forehead beaded with sweat and his cheeks flushed.

“Don’t forget to breathe,” Rapunzel said gently. “You look like you’re gonna pass out!”

Varian’s lip twitched in acknowledgement, but otherwise his expression didn’t change as he inhaled deeply through the nose.

Rapunzel frowned. Normally, that would’ve been enough to earn a sheepish grin or a playful roll of the eyes. But for the past couple of days, Varian had become noticeably more serious about dance, and not in a working-hard kind of way, but like it was something he was being tested on. He took her corrections hard, and brushed off her compliments, putting himself down when he didn’t get something right on the first try. It was an abrupt and worrying change.

However, Rapunzel wasn’t one to give up. Humming casually, she took a step closer, tilting her head. “Your alignment’s off.”

“Huh?” Varian looked over at her, taken aback. “Where?”

Rapunzel poked a finger into his ribs. “Here.”

The mischievous glint in her eyes was the only warning before she started tickling him mercilessly. Varian yelped in surprise and lost his balance. The siblings collapsed in a heap of limbs and hair, Varian’s laughter echoing around the tower.

Finally, Varian pried himself free, struggling to catch his breath. “Okay, okay,” he gasped, clutching his sides. “No more!”

“Ha!” Rapunzel pumped a fist in the air victoriously. “Once again, I remain the undefeated tickle fight champion!”

“Uh, _yeah,_ ‘cuz I wasn’t ready!” Varian laughed, jabbing an accusing finger at her. “That doesn’t count!”

“All’s fair in tickle fights, dear brother,” Rapunzel grinned. “Besides, you looked like you could use a break.”

Varian’s smile faded. “Well, now I gotta start over,” he sighed.

Rapunzel’s heart sank. “No, Varian, I… that wasn’t…” Frustration bit at her; Varian was obviously upset about something. “What’s up with you? You’ve been kinda weird about dance lately.”

Varian looked startled before quickly feigning ignorance. “Wha- what do you mean?”

“You know…” Rapunzel played with her hair. “You take it so seriously now. Not that that’s a bad thing!” she added quickly. “Just… I feel like you’re being hard on yourself. You don’t seem to be having fun anymore.” She met his gaze, brows knit with concern. “What changed?”

Varian glanced away, tucking his knees to his chest. “I dunno,” he mumbled. “I just wanna do my best, okay?”

Rapunzel chewed her lip. She had a sinking feeling she knew what was _really_ bothering Varian, even if he wouldn’t admit it. 

A few days ago, they’d finally gotten a chance to show Mother the routine they’d been working on. It had been fine, at first; they were both excited and having fun, and Rapunzel thought they’d done a good job. But then the dance was over, and Mother started being… _Mother._

 _“Well, that was very… cute,”_ she’d said, her smile not quite reaching her eyes. _“Rapunzel, you were lovely, dear. And Varian… keep working on it, hm?”_

After that, she’d asked Rapunzel to come sing for her, a clear sign that the topic was over, and Varian had been quiet the rest of the night. Rapunzel knew that he tried his best to please their mother, and he took each failure to do so as a personal fault. They didn’t really talk about it, how Mother treated them differently, but she tried to reassure him when she could.

“You know,” Rapunzel began softly, “I was really excited when you said you wanted to start dancing with me. It’s… kinda weird, because it takes structure and hard work and discipline, but at the same time it’s… _freeing._ At least, for me it is, and I hoped it could be for you, too.” She put a hand on his shoulder. “And I was thinking… maybe this could be something just for us.”

_Meaning; you don’t have to do this for Mother._

Varian looked up at her and managed a small smile.

_I won’t._

“I’d like that,” he said softly. “I’d like that a lot.”

~*~

__

_pas de deux; a dance for two_

~*~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: I didn’t mean to make it feelsy, I promise, it just happened that way. - Aqua


	8. margin of error

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Title: _margin of error_  
>  Rating: G  
> Warnings: none  
> Timeline: Varian starts out as 10, Rapunzel as 14, and there is a minor time skip (1 year)  
> Summary: Rapunzel's thoughts on Varian's love of science.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Hi everyone! I hope you're all enjoying this so far. Shout out to my three regular commenters, your feedback is much appreciated!
> 
> So moving is finally done, though we haven't finished unpacking yet. Let me tell you, I'm so glad that I gave myself a nice buffer by writing chapters ahead of time, because I barely had any time to write last week! And because we haven't gotten wifi set up yet, I had to lovingly type this chapter out on my phone instead of copying from my word doc as usual. But anyways, the worst of it is done, and updates should continue to come at their regular pace.
> 
> This week is another fluffy piece, which I'm thankful for because I'm sure Secret of the Sundrop will wreck my feelings tomorrow. Read on and enjoy, and please don't forget to leave feedback! - Aqua

_margin of error_

~*~

Rapunzel studied her work thoughtfully, dipping her paintbrush back into its jar.

She was finally getting around to touching up the walls of her bedroom. Some of the higher paintings were in dire need of an update, which was why she was suspended in a scaffolding of hair to reach them.

The flower she was tending to looked like it could use another leaf. She knit her brows together and leaned forward to add another stroke of green. Carefully, she touched her brush to the wall and-

_**CRASH.** _

The deafening bang came from below her, the walls shaking from the force of it. Rapunzel dropped her paintbrush, her heart jolting, and scrambled to the floor. There was only one possible cause of an explosion like that, and she was suddenly gripped with fear.

Rapunzel was barely out of her bedroom before the word left her mouth.

_"Varian!"_

The trapdoor flew open, and thick, white smoke billowed out into the room. Varian stumbled out from it, coughing heavily, his hair sticking up in all directions.

"I'm okay!" he managed, waving some of the smoke from his face.

"Varian!" Rapunzel ran to him, looking him over for injuries. "What happened?"

Varian rubbed the back of his neck. "Uh, so as it turns out... when- when you superheat salt to a molten state and add it to water, it doesn't- it doesn't _dissolve_ like regular salt, it, um... explodes?" He laughed nervously. "That's, uh- I didn't expect that."

Rapunzel's eyes widened. "Oh my goodness, are you okay?"

"I'm fine!" Varian assured her quickly. "I'm fine, it just... took me by surprise. And, uh, I'm gonna need the broom and dustpan," he crossed over to the window and opened up the shutters, "'cause my beaker shattered."

"Varian..." Rapunzel grabbed a washcloth and started fanning the smoke out. "That's the third time this week something's exploded."

Varian winced. "I know, I'm sorry, I'll clean it up." He looked at the ground, fidgeting with his gloves. "Don't worry, nothing else got broken. There's a, uh, smudge on the wall, but- but I'm sure I can clean it off, or- or paint over it. And I-"

"Hey, hey, it's alright," Rapunzel stepped closer, "I'm not worried about that." Gently, she lifted his chin to meet her gaze. "I'm scared that one of these days you're going to get hurt."

Varian blinked. "Oh. That's..." He took a deep breath, his brows drawing together. "Hey, Rapunzel, I'm- I'm okay. _Really._ Please, it's- I'm okay."

Rapunzel sighed, wrapping her arms around herself. "I know you don't mean for things to blow up. And... I know how much you love alchemy. I would never want to take that away from you. But... I need to know that you're being careful, as careful as you can, okay?"

Varian nodded. "I promise," he said quietly, giving her a halfhearted smile. "I'm sorry I worried you."

Rapunzel returned his smile, brushing a hand over his wild hair. "It's okay. It's... kind of impressive that you can do such crazy reactions just using stuff around the tower." She quirked an eyebrow. "A big step up from baking soda and vinegar, huh?"

Varian's eyes lit up at the mention of the old experiment. "Oh gosh, that was awesome!" he grinned. "Maybe I should revisit that, I bet if I altered some of the factors I could totally improve-"

"Easy there, we've still got to clean up your last experiment." Rapunzel grabbed the broom, handing Varian the dustpan. "So what did the explosion look like? Was it cool, at least?"

"The coolest!" Varian beamed. "I wasn't even sure if salt could be heated to a liquid state, but it turned into this neat silvery stuff. And the explosion? _Wow,_ where do I even start...?"

_~*~_

"Can I look now?"

"No, not yet!"

Rapunzel sighed from behind her hands, waiting for Varian to finish... whatever he was working on. It was her fifteenth birthday, and he'd insisted on her gift being a surprise. For the past couple weeks he'd spent all his free time in his room, working away, and refusing her even the smallest peek or hint. She was a naturally patient person, but it was hard not to get caught up in the excitement.

There were some interesting sounds going on; grinding gears, squeaking hinges, and the clang of metal on metal. Finally, the dull thuds of hammering nails into wood, and Varian appeared at her side.

"Okay," he said, his voice humming with anticipation. "You can look."

Rapunzel removed her hands from her eyes. There was an odd contraption mounted on the windowsill; two thin wooden cylinders supported by a metal frame, a long lever protruding from the side.

"Ta dah! It's a hair drying machine!" Varian proudly gestured to it. "Happy birthday!"

"Oh wow! Varian, thank you!" Rapunzel pulled him into a hug. "This is so thoughtful, you know what a pain drying my hair is!"

All in all, she kept her hair quite clean. She washed her scalp regularly, but once a week she'd devote a day to the rest of her hair. It took several tubs full of water to soak and scrub it with soap, rinsing as she went down the length of it. And then came the drying; several hours spent sitting by the window with her hair hanging out to air dry. Varian did a great job keeping her company during that time, like he did whenever he helped her brush it, but ultimately it was time that could be better spent doing _anything_ else.

Rapunzel looked at Varian expectantly. "So how does it work?"

Varian clapped his gloved hands together. "Okay! So all you have to do is flip up the topmost roller here, put your hair in, and snap it shut. Then you turn the crank as you feed it through, and the rollers will squeeze the water out!" He brushed a hand along the lever, his expression fond. "I actually got the idea from the old ladder system."

It had been almost a year since Mother had stopped using the rolling ladder to get in and out. Instead, Rapunzel would thread her hair through a hook and let it fall down the side of the tower, so Mother could loop it to make a sling and be pulled up.

Varian scanned her face apprehensively. "Do you like it?"

"I love it, Varian," Rapunzel assured him. She grinned. "Let's try it out!"

Varian's face lit up. "I was hoping you would say that," he said, grabbing a bucket off the floor. It was filled with clean water. "Here."

Rapunzel gathered up the end of her hair and dipped it into the bucket, making sure it got properly soaked before fishing it out. She only got about a foot of it wet, just enough to test the machine.

Varian flipped one of the rolling bars up, and she draped her hair across it before he clamped it back down. There was a click, and the rollers were in place, her hair sandwiched in between.

"Alright." Varian nodded in satisfaction. "Now go ahead and turn the crank, and it should do its thing!"

"Okay, here goes!" Rapunzel grabbed the handle of the lever and turned it, her other hand guiding her hair through the machine. The rollers began to rotate inwards, pressing her hair as it went through. Water started to drop off the bottom of the rollers, and the hair was significantly less damp when it emerged.

"Hey, look at that!" Varian watched the machine excitedly. "It's working!"

As if on cue, the crank suddenly became a lot harder to turn, and Rapunzel's hair stopped coming out the other end. Strands of it got caught around the rollers as they continued to spin, and before she could blink there was a bit tangle of it caught at the entrance, something inside the machine groaning in protest.

Rapunzel let go of the handle. "Uh, Varian?" She gave her hair an experimental tug. "I think it's stuck?"

Varian inhaled through his teeth. "Ah, the calibration seems to be a tad off, I'll- I'll loosen the clamps and get them untangled, don't worry!"

Rapunzel smiled good-naturedly and kept her hair still, resting her chin in her hand as Varian got to work.

Much with Varian was trial-and-error, she'd learned. He'd shown a natural interest in the sciences since he was very young, but Mother was... less than encouraging. She'd gotten him books on the subject, of course, probably thinking it harmless. But when he'd reached the age where he started conducting his own experiments, all bets were off. She'd almost fainted the day he asked if she could bring home some hydrochloric acid.

Varian had to gather all his materials himself, which really limited what he could do. As a result, most of his work was purely theoretical in nature. He'd write out complex equations for a chemical reaction he'd never get the chance to conduct, or make blueprints for a machine he couldn't build. So when the opportunity to enact his plans finally came around, it was usually hit or miss. He just didn't have a lot of actual hands-on experience.

Luckily, he wasn't one to be discouraged right away. He'd once built a silverware polisher after seven failed prototypes, using only whatever Mother brought him (his interest in engineering was more accepted, and she had no problem bringing him little bits and bobs of scrap machinery to tinker with).

He was resourceful that way.

Rapunzel didn't pretend to understand everything he did. She figured alchemy was just how Varian explored and interacted with the world around them, almost like how art was for her. It was a part of him, and it made him happy, so she did her best to be supportive.

"So what do you think happened?" Rapunzel asked, offering Varian a chance to talk about the mechanics.

"Must'a miscalculated the thickness of your hair," Varian replied, unscrewing a bolt on the lever. "Put too much stress on the rollers, so their cogs locked up." He pried the rollers from the machine and started carefully untangling her hair. "I just gotta loosen them up a bit so your hair can get through more easily, and not get all bunched up."

Rapunzel hummed thoughtfully. "Well, this still beats sticking my head out the window for five hours."

"Well, at least there's _that,_ " Varian grinned. The last of her hair fell free from the rollers, and he sighed with relief, picking up his wrench.

"Okay, let's try this again.

~*~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Turns out describing mechanics is hard. If you're confused, Varian basically made a wringer, mounted to the windowsill. Please note that putting hair through a wringer to dry it is _not_ avised in real life. - Aqua


	9. retrograde, part I - beneath the melody

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Title: _retrograde, part I – beneath the melody_  
>  Rating: G  
> Warnings: none  
> Timeline: Varian is 5, Rapunzel is 9 (pre-movie), takes place before Chapter 4  
> Summary: A singing lesson leads to musings about the nature of Varian's magic.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Hi readers! How about that season finale, huh? I’m pretty sure my heart is lying around here somewhere. In the meantime, I’ll bury my feelings by writing.
> 
> So, I heard you guys like lore :3 This chapter kicks off the last min-arc that will take place before we reach the movie; after it’s complete, we only have a few stand-alones before the big debut! Get excited!
> 
> And again, I cannot stress the importance of feedback enough. This fic is a marathon, not a sprint, and commenting is like, the best way to ‘sponsor’ me. And it’s completely free! So please, don’t be shy, I love hearing from you guys. I respond to pretty much every comment (which is why the count is so high lol). Anyways, read on and enjoy! - Aqua

__

_retrograde, part I - beneath the melody_

~*~

Deep in the forest in a hidden tower, there was magic at work.

It was night, the darkness outside absolute in the presence of the new moon. The tower was illuminated only by the soft glow of magical hair, and the flame of a single candle, sitting on the table beside Gothel’s chair. Two voices rang out, young and sweet in their innocence- entirely unaware of the ancient power that lie in their words.

Gothel’s children sat across from each other, cross-legged and with eyes closed. It hadn’t taken much instruction on her part for them to piece their songs together; it was as if they instinctively knew what notes to sing to complement the other, timing each word perfectly to form their duet.

Rapunzel was a familiar sight; golden light trailing along her hair, draped haphazardly around the room. Her song was a fixture, as regular an occurrence as the setting sun, so much that the walls seemed to echo it. 

Varian, his gloved hands folded carefully in his lap, was a different case. His hair, shining a brilliant blue-silver, was almost painfully bright to look at. His song was less natural, like he had to think about the words as he went.

But that was to be expected. After all, Gothel had only taught it to him the year before, and rarely let him practice it, always under her careful watch. He wore his gloves when he sang, of course, like at any other time, but she wasn’t going to risk something going wrong. So, he was forbidden to sing it without her permission.

Even if Gothel were worried about him disobeying her in her absences- which she wasn’t- she was confident this was a rule he’d never break. In fact, it was a testament to his obedience that he ever sang it at _all;_ he was terrified of his powers, perhaps even more so than she was.

Watching him now, Gothel noted the way he fidgeted with his hands as he sang, subconsciously holding them away from Rapunzel. The fear that he might accidentally hurt her was deeply embedded within him, and was one Gothel shared.

This wasn’t the first time she’d had them sing together, but it was one of very few. She was nothing if not cautious, and though she needed them to know how to do it should the need arise, she was wary of what it might unleash. As it was, she would only allow it at night, and during the new moon, when their powers would be less… volatile.

Even so, the affect they had on each other was evident. Rapunzel’s song was the same, but the mood had changed. With the addition of Varian’s voice, the spell was entirely different, his song a foreboding undercurrent to hers.

_“Flower, gleam and glow,_  


_Flower, burn and shine,_  


_let your power shine,_  


_make your power mine,_  


_make the clock reverse,_  


_time resume its course,_  


_bring back what once was mine,_  


_let age and pain combine,_  


_heal what has been hurt,_  


_harm what has been healed,_  


_change the fate’s design,_  


_fates redo what’s thine,_  


_save what has been lost,_  


_lose the saved once more,_  


_bring back what once was mine,_  


_let age and pain combine,_  


_what once was mine…  
_

_and pain combine…”_  


There was almost something contradictory about it; their voices seemed woven together in perfect harmony, even as the lyrics clashed. And to it all was a subtle sort of energy, humming in each word and drifting lazily through the air. Attuned to magic as she was, Gothel knew that this was where their greatest power would lie; together. 

When the last line was sung, the magic faded. Both children’s hair began to dim, Rapunzel the first to open her eyes while Varian seemed to take a moment to come back to himself. He wasn’t as used to the feeling of the spell as she was, of course.

“Very good,” Gothel said. “That’s quite enough practice for tonight. Off to bed, both of you.”

“Yes, Mother,” they chorused. Rapunzel and Varian each bid her goodnight before retiring to their rooms.

Alone, Gothel sat for a few moments to be sure they had gotten settled. Everything was quiet and still, save for the wavering flame of her candle. Finally, she closed her eyes and inhaled deeply, reaching inward for that familiar pull in her stomach.

There was still some lingering magic in the room, slow to dissipate or settle into the tower’s walls as it interacted with the spells already there; old charms she’d put in place after bringing Rapunzel home to prevent anyone from finding them. If somebody was searching for them, any one of them, and neared the tower, they would subconsciously turn around; on a whim, a hunch, or because of a bad feeling. 

It was only an echo, this left-over magic, not like the active charms embedded in the tower. After acquainting herself with the feel of it, Gothel called it to her. It moved sluggishly, dripping off her fingers like honey. She turned it in her hands, examining it with a critical eye.

Gothel wasn’t very adept in her own craft, often relying on runes, talismans, and incantations as preparation to perform any true magic. But she was overly familiar with it, the presence it gave off when it existed in the world, and with a little concentration she could seek it out. It was how she’d found Rapunzel and Varian; visions that came to her in sleep after completing the necessary rituals.

The magic she held now, a combination of both drop’s powers, was muted, soon to return to its sources. It was more solid, however, than when her children had last intertwined their spells, and she had no doubt it would continue to grow stronger with each time.

But ultimately, it was asleep, and Gothel had every intention of letting it stay that way. So long as their powers were never fully activated, she’d never have to worry about the ill whisperings that haunted her deep in the night, the promises of decay and destruction as retribution for her wrongs. Keeping such power for herself, subduing the heavens and denying them their true potential, was a dangerous game, but she knew how to play.

The last of the magic slipped away, and Gothel rose from her chair, picking up the candle. She waved her hand at it, and the flame was extinguished.

Her deck was stacked, and she wasn’t folding anytime soon.

~*~

Varian didn’t understand what made bacon so good.

It was just ham, and _yeah,_ he loved ham, but then just cooking it made it something totally different. The color, the smell, the taste, the texture- it was like he wasn’t even eating ham anymore. Which was weird! ‘Cause when you cooked vegetables and stuff they just turned into softer, browner vegetables, so what was that all about? The science behind it all just _mystified_ him.

While Varian pondered this, Rapunzel tended to the pan on the stove, preparing the breakfast Mother had left them. She’d left early that day, before either of them were awake. Which wasn’t too uncommon, Varian was used to it, but today was kind of not so good, because he had questions about last night.

But Mother didn’t like it when he asked her questions about his powers, so it didn’t matter if she was here or not because she wouldn’t want him asking her anyways. But then again… she wasn’t here, so couldn’t get mad at him if he asked Rapunzel, and he could ask Rapunzel because she didn’t mind answering his questions.

Varian made up his mind. “Why does Mother have us sing together?” he asked.

Rapunzel thought about the question for a moment, wooden spoon hovering in midair, before shrugging. “I don’t know. But I think it’s nice. I wish we could do it more often.”

Varian huffed a sigh. “I like your song better,” he pouted, and he knew he shouldn’t be whining but it was just Rapunzel here, and he really couldn’t help it. “My song’s mean, and it ruins yours.”

“What?” Rapunzel made a worried face. “Why would you say that?”

Looking away, Varian jerked his shoulders in a shrug. “I dunno. It just feels that way. And- and I don’t know _why_ I have to sing my stupid song anyways, ‘cause I’m not really _doing_ anything or- or helping anyone, like you.”

Rapunzel put a hand on his shoulder. “There’s nothing wrong with that. Who ever said we’re not allowed to sing just because? I sing all the time- you would know. And not for any reason, but just because it feels nice and I like it.”

Tilting his head, Varian considered that. “I… I guess that’s true,” he said. “I like singing too, it’s just- it’s just different with _my_ song.” He bit his lip. “It’s like… I’m not _allowed_ to enjoy it. Or- or I shouldn’t, anyways.”

“I can see why you’d feel that way,” Rapunzel said gently. “But, if you ask me, you shouldn’t have to feel bad about it. And… I know you don’t really… _use_ your powers, but… what does it feel like when you sing your song?”

What _did_ it feel like?

Varian’s face scrunched up in thought. He barely _ever_ got to sing his song; almost _never,_ especially when compared to Rapunzel, who sang hers pretty much every day (and that was fine, because her song was really good and pretty and he liked hearing her sing it). His was still new to him, and the long stretches in between each time didn’t make it easy for him to remember what it was like.

But last night was still fresh in his mind. When they’d started singing, and he closed his eyes so it was all dark, everything around him had kinda disappeared, like their voices were all that there was. And a weird feeling inside him, some strange, wild thing growing and growing- but making him empty. Like somebody had poked a big hole right through him, and he was getting sucked in, trying to fill it.

“… hungry,” he said finally. “But not for food.”

Rapunzel gave him a thoughtful look. “Huh. I… don’t think I’d know what that’s like.” She glanced over at the sizzling frying pan, and her face brightened. “But I hope _you’re_ hungry, _for food,_ because breakfast is done.”

Varian’s stomach growled before he could reply, and he ducked his head in embarrassment.

“I’ll take that as a yes, then,” Rapunzel smiled, setting a plate in front of him.

Varian thanked her and dug in happily, the earlier topic all but forgotten. The feeling was pushed down and left there, deep inside him, and things were normal again. Just him and his sister, enjoying breakfast together, with no worries about glowing hair or magical songs or strange hunger that chewed you up inside until there was nothing left.

And if he _was_ worried… he could push that down, too.

~*~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TLDR; Gothel is totally a witch, guys. Also, credit to the lyrics for Varian's song goes to tangledbea on tumblr. - Aqua


	10. retrograde, part II - and i'm nothing like you

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Title: _retrograde, part II - and i’m nothing like you_  
>  Rating: G  
> Warnings: emotionally abusive/controlling behavior, self-depreciation  
> Timeline: Varian is 7, Rapunzel is 11 (pre-movie)  
> Summary: Varian decides he wants to grow his hair out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Hoo boy, there’s… a lot to unpack in this one. Hope y’all are ready. In other news, I’d like to say a huge thank you for all the lovely comments! I couldn’t be happier, and I want to encourage you to keep it up!
> 
> Anyways, the mental image for Varian in this chapter was inspired by some lovely long-haired Varian art from ky-jane (http://ky-jane.tumblr.com/post/167823755060/well-i-do-love-me-some-varian-and-his-villain). Such a good and sweet boy.
> 
> Lyrics at the end are from the Steven Universe credits song, Love Like You. I’ve always thought the song could be interpreted as both romantic and platonic love, and the feeling is just too good to pass up. - Aqua

_retrograde, part II - and i’m nothing like you_

~*~

“I’ll take _that.”_

Rapunzel claimed one of Varian’s knights, lifting the piece off the board.

“Aw...” Varian pouted at the rook who’d taken its place. “That’s my favorite piece!”

The chess set, made from beautifully carved and painted wood, had been a present from Mother on Rapunzel’s last birthday. The game had quickly become another one of the sibling’s many hobbies. Once they’d gotten the basics down, they focused on coming up with new ways to outwit each other. It was as much an exercise of knowing how the other thought, rather than just mastering the strategy of the pieces. Varian wondered often how they’d do playing against someone else, someone they didn’t know so well and could read so clearly.

Rapunzel studied the knight in her hand curiously. “Really? Mine’s the queen.” She tapped the piece in question, which still had yet to move from its beginning spot. “She can do pretty much anything she wants, go wherever she wants to go.”

“Except for the path of the knight,” Varian pointed out. “It’s like, a really sneaky, clever move you have to think about to use it right. It’s not straightforward. And most of the time, you don’t see it coming. That’s why it’s my favorite.” He played with his hair as he spoke, brushing it back over his shoulder.

Rapunzel usually kept it trimmed to his preferred length, as she had for the past couple years, but it had been almost three months since Varian had told her he wanted to grow it out. It had reached a point where he had to pin it back during dance, or when he was working on something, but he hardly minded. 

Rapunzel hadn’t asked why he’d wanted to let it grow out all of a sudden. Not that Varian had a reason. He was just curious, that was all. Figured he’d see what it was like, try something new. It wasn’t a big deal. Just an experiment.

“But the queen _is_ one of the most important pieces,” Varian amended, jumping a pawn forward. “Except the king, of course, even though he can’t really do anything. D’you think they’re like that in real life? Kings and queens?”

“Hopefully not.” Rapunzel evaded his move, pushing the king one space diagonal left. _“This_ king can barely keep himself alive, much less rule a kingdom.”

Varian shot her a grin as he rushed a rook forward, blocking her king’s escape route. “Check.”

Rapunzel countered it with a bishop, taking the rook’s place, and was suddenly lined up with Varian’s king. “Check, yourself.”

Varian hummed thoughtfully, scanning the board. He could take her bishop, but would likely open his own up to attack. He might be able to retreat instead, push his king back and force her to pursue, showing her hand. He reached for his king and-

_“Rapunzel!”_

They both startled at Mother’s voice. Rapunzel gave him an apologetic look and scrambled to her feet, rushing to the window with a call over her shoulder, “don’t even think about moving the pieces, I’m about to win!”

Varian stuck his tongue out at her playfully. “That’s what you think!” He stood beside her and helped unroll the ladder, the rungs clattering loudly against stone as they fell.

They both stepped aside to make room as Mother reached the top, stepping through the window with a flourish.

“Hello, my dears.” She smiled at them. “And what did you get up to today?”

“Oh, nothing much,” Rapunzel replied, reeling the ladder back up. Wordlessly, Varian grabbed the crank’s handle, helping her turn it.

Mother hummed noncommittally. “Well, perhaps next time you might want to do some cleaning, it smells musty in here.” She shrugged off her travel cloak. “Dust a little bit, and I’m sure the floors need to be mopped-”

As she crossed to the kitchen, her boot connected with the chess board. All the pieces toppled over, skittering across the floor. Varian winced at the sound, dismayed at the loss of their game.

Mother frowned down at the chess board. “Rapunzel, what have I told you about leaving your things all over the floor?” Her voice was tinged with annoyance. “I don’t know why you insist on being so messy. Honestly, I don’t ask much of you.”

Varian didn’t even think twice. “I’m the one who left it out, Mother,” he said. “I’m sorry.”

Before Mother could respond, Rapunzel gave Varian a look. “We were both using it,” she insisted, refusing to let him take the blame but not wanting to make it look like he was lying to Mother. 

Mother raised her eyebrows at them. “Well, just see that it’s picked up. And don’t be so overdramatic!” she laughed. “It’s not the end of the world.”

Smiling weakly, Varian bent down to gather up the scattered chess pieces, his hair falling in his face. Mother had a way of teasing that was very different from when he and Rapunzel teased each other. When they did it, it was just fun, lighthearted- with Mother, it made them feel small.

Arms full, Varian flicked his hair back over his shoulder and handed the pieces off to Rapunzel, who started packing them in their box. When he turned back around, Mother was giving him a considering look.

“I think it’s time for a haircut, Varian,” she said.

Varian froze at the words, his stomach dropping. He hadn’t exactly told Mother about his decision to grow it out yet. She just hadn’t mentioned it, so he’d thought she didn’t mind. Now, he saw that she had only just now realized how long he’d gone without cutting it.

Mother hadn’t noticed his reaction, digging a pair of scissors out of a cabinet drawer. She turned to him expectantly, nodding at the kitchen stool. “Well?”

Instinctively, Varian’s hands went to his hair, tugging on the longest strands. “I… I was thinking…” He took a deep breath. “I- maybe I could grow my hair out-”

“What, like Rapunzel’s?” Mother raised her eyebrows. She glanced over at Rapunzel, who was watching the exchange with a troubled expression. “Don’t be silly, Varian, we’ve been over this. You don’t have to keep your hair long, you’re not _like_ Rapunzel. Now, come over here and let me cut it for you.”

“But Mother, I-”

_“Now.”_

Varian bit his lip and obeyed, lowering his gaze. He climbed up on the stool, gripping the seat to avoid fidgeting with his gloves.

Mother got to work. The tower was dead silent, save for the snipping of scissors. Varian watched clumps of dark hair fall to the floor and forced himself not to feel anything, even when he saw strands of blue join them as she cut his bangs back- his favorite blue streak that was mysterious and magical and made him feel special-

“There.” Mother’s voice was satisfied. “That wasn’t so hard, now was it? At least you look like a boy now.”

Varian merely nodded in response, not trusting his voice enough to speak. He slid off the stool, gingerly stepping around the shorn hair, and grabbed the broom unprompted, before Mother could even tell him to clean up. The back of his neck was uncomfortably bare, and stinging from one or two small nicks. She’d done it shorter than his usual style; the back and sides of his head almost felt shaved from how close she’d cut, and his bangs barely passed his forehead.

He stayed quiet as Mother called Rapunzel over to sing. He stayed quiet as he swept up the floor and threw the hair out. He stayed quiet all throughout dinner, and Rapunzel’s polite small talk with Mother, and only spoke when Mother bid them goodbye at the end of the evening.

“Goodnight,” he responded, mostly out of reflex.

Mother disappeared down the ladder, Rapunzel rolling it back up when she was done, and they watched her retreating figure get smaller and smaller until she was gone.

They were silent for a few moments. Varian could feel Rapunzel’s concerned gaze on him, but he couldn’t bring himself to meet her eyes. He didn’t want her to see his unshed tears because it was just _hair,_ it was stupid and he shouldn’t be crying over it-

“Varian…?” Rapunzel ventured.

“It’s okay,” Varian said. He reached a hand up, absently, and ran his fingers through his shortened bangs. “I’m… fine, I just…”

“Do you want to talk about it?” At the shake of his head, Rapunzel tried again. “Do you need some time alone?”

Grateful, Varian nodded. He didn’t think he could explain what he was feeling. At least, not in a way that would make any sense. 

“Okay. I’m here if you need me.” Rapunzel gave his arm a comforting squeeze before climbing the stairs to her bedroom.

Varian stood for a moment, rapidly blinking away the sting of tears. He closed the window shutters, the room growing darker from the loss of light. He picked up the chess set, forgotten on the table, and put it back in its cupboard. He took a good, long look at himself in the mirror, swallowing hard at the sight of his new haircut. He slipped through the trapdoor to his room, pulling it shut behind him, and sat down on his bed.

And then, _only then,_ did he finally let himself cry.

~*~

_“Flower, gleam and glow…”_

Rapunzel shifted in bed, eyelids fluttering as the quiet song rang in her ears. It wasn’t immediately apparent if she was dreaming or not, her mind still cloudy with sleep.

She’d stayed up in case Varian decided he was ready to talk, but it had eventually become obvious that he wasn’t going to come up that night. Which meant that he must’ve been more upset than he let on, because he was actually going to sleep in his own room.

Rapunzel had debated going down to check on him, but she was always wary of pushing too much or too soon. Ultimately, she’d decided to give him space, and had fallen into an uneasy sleep. 

_“… let your power shine…”_

There it was again. Shaking off the last throes of unconsciousness, Rapunzel sat up, registering a small figure at the foot of her bed. It took her a second to realize what was happening; Varian was singing _her_ song, her hair glowing softly in response to the spell. His gloves were off, which surprised her more than anything else, his hands wrapped up in her hair.

Rapunzel blinked in confusion. “Varian?”

Varian stopped singing abruptly, the incomplete spell fading. His head snapped up, wide eyes locking onto hers. “Rapunzel!”

“What are you- hey, wait, it’s okay!” Rapunzel said quickly, as Varian cringed away from her. “Varian, it’s okay, I’m not mad!”

Varian hurriedly pulled his gloves back on, an almost panicked frenzy to his movements. “I’m s- sorry,” he stammered. “I’m so sorry, I- I shouldn’t have done that.”

“Hey, it’s alright,” Rapunzel soothed him. “Just… why were you singing my song?” A sudden thought occurred to her, and she jolted in alarm. “Did something happen? Are you hurt?”

Varian was already shaking his head, “No, _no,_ I- I’m not hurt.”

Rapunzel knit her brows together. “Then… why? Varian, you know that if you aren’t hurt, then… my powers will make you younger. By several _years,_ even. Why would you risk that?”

Varian glanced away, eyes shining with tears. “I… I just thought that… m- maybe your powers could… _fix_ me.”

Something broke inside Rapunzel. “Oh, Varian,” she murmured. She opened her arms, and Varian relented to the embrace, tucking his head beneath her chin. “Is this… because of what happened earlier?” she asked, stroking his hair. The shorter strands felt coarse and unfamiliar beneath her fingers.

Varian exhaled shakily. “Yeah. It’s- it’s stupid, but, I thought growing my hair long would… I dunno, change things? Make me better? Because… I wanted to be like you.” The admission seemed to be less directed at her, and more to himself. “But Mother was right. I’m not. I don’t need to let my hair grow, I don’t need to sing my song, and my powers aren’t going to change just ‘cause I _want_ them to. I- I guess it all just felt like too much a- and I wanted to fix it, the only way I could think how… m’ sorry, it was stupid.”

It dawned on Rapunzel that Varian had thought about it before, the possibility of using her powers to ‘heal’ his own. The notion left her feeling disconcerted.

“Varian, it’s not stupid,” she said softly. _“Of course_ it’s not stupid, you… have every right to feel that way. And, I know it must be hard… to deal with it. But, your powers… _don’t_ determine who you are, anymore than mine do. That part’s up to us. And there is nothing wrong with you, okay? You’re perfect the way you are.”

Varian didn’t say anything, just held her tighter.

Rapunzel held him back, and hoped that was enough.

~*~

Varian traced the paintings on the ceiling with his eyes, having long adjusted to the dark.

Rapunzel had fallen back asleep a while ago, her deep, even breaths helping calm him. But even as he laid there, overcome with gratitude and love, there was a small, treacherous part of him stirring inside, no matter how hard he tried to block it out. Whispering that despite what Rapunzel said, she would never truly understand him. Because it was all well and good of her to say that there was nothing wrong with him, but she didn’t know what it was like.

How could she? She didn’t have the power to destroy things with a simple touch. And even though Mother might not always be nice to her, Varian had no doubt that she loved Rapunzel, which was more than he could say for himself…

And that was just another difference between them. While he was full of resentment and feeling sorry for himself, Rapunzel always made him feel loved. She was selfless and kind and everything a good person should be, and he _wasn’t._

But none of that was Rapunzel’s fault. She was always just doing her best, and he couldn’t blame her for what he was. And though he knew these feelings wouldn’t be going away, he would try not to burden her with them anymore. It was his problem, and from now on, he’d keep it to himself.

After everything she’d done for him, it was the least he could do.

~*~

_i always thought i might be bad_

_now i'm sure that it's true_

_'cause i think you're so good_

_and i'm nothing like you_

~*~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Me? Using chess as a metaphor? _Never!_ \- Aqua


	11. retrograde, part III - for me to know

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Title: _retrograde, part III – for me to know_  
>  Rating: K+  
> Warnings: emotional abuse  
> Timeline: Varian is 12, Rapunzel is 16 (pre-movie).  
> Summary: Varian just wanted answers.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Hi readers! Hope you've enjoyed this mini-arc, your feedback has been amazing and I really hope you keep it up! So after this, we're only going to have a few chapters until we hit the movie timeline. I may have to consider taking a brief hiatus (like, one week) to prepare everything, so I'll let you guys know.
> 
> Until then, read on and enjoy! Fair warning, Gothel gets pretty nasty in this one, so the emotional abuse warning applies even more here. Proceed with caution if that upsets you, and please remember to leave a comment! - Aqua

_retrograde, part III – for me to know_

~*~

Gothel turned over in bed, unsettled.

She didn’t often sleep at the tower, now that the children were older. But Rapunzel had come down with a fever a couple days ago, and Gothel couldn’t leave her alone in that state. Even though she was sixteen, and fully capable of caring for herself, Gothel needed to be there in case something happened. If someone were to discover them, or if Rapunzel took a sudden turn for the worse… she had to be there. It was an inconvenience, staying at the tower for so long, but when faced with the alternatives, Gothel didn’t have a choice.

Of course, there were drawbacks. Her patience was growing thin, unable to have a moment’s peace to herself. Varian had, thankfully, taken charge of tending to Rapunzel, but that didn’t make it any easier to stay at the tower all day. And she just couldn’t seem to get comfortable in bed-

Gothel froze, a sudden chill falling over her. Her skin prickled with the sensation, and her stomach dropped when she realized what it was.

Magic.

She sat up in bed, listening intently. Downstairs, muffled through the trapdoor-

_“…make your power mine…”_

Gothel bolted out of bed, mentally spitting curses. Varian was using his powers.

_“… time resume its course…”_

Gothel slipped through the trapdoor and flew down the stairs.

Varian was bent over his workbench, his hair glowing that painfully bright blue-white color as he sang softly, unaware. His gloves were off, the leaf of a potted plant pinched between his fingers. Already, the plant was starting to wilt, the edges of its leaves turning brown as its life was drained.

Attached to the plant’s stem was some sort of probe, a small bulb blinking wildly. Gothel didn’t know what the instrument was or what it did, he’d probably built it himself, the clever brat- he always asked her to bring him spare bits and parts _“to tinker with”._

There was a shorn lock of hair sitting in a glass vial of clear liquid, notes scribbled on a page beside it. All the pieces fell together; he’d been experimenting on his hair. On his _powers._

_“Harm what has been healed-”_

“Varian.”

“Mother!” Varian turned to her with wide eyes, the glow fading from his hair as his song was disrupted. She could almost _see_ the life energy of the plant return to its source, released from the spell’s grasp, and the leaves returned to a bright green. “I- I didn’t think you would-”

“What do you think you’re doing?” Gothel demanded.

Varian shrank away from her, as expected, but seemed to muster enough courage to reply. “I was just- I was trying to figure out how the magic works,” he explained haltingly, pulling his gloves back on. “You know, figure out the- the science behind it all?”

Gothel narrowed her eyes. “Varian, you know very well how I feel about all _this,”_ she gestured to his work with a sharp wave of her hand, “and I’m _fairly certain_ I forbid you to use your powers without my supervision. Or did I change that rule, and simply forget about it?”

“N- no, Mother.” Varian shuddered at her tone, lowering his gaze. He wrung his hands together, anxiously twisting at the leather. “I j- just thought that I- if I could learn how it works, I could- I could learn how to stop it, so that I w- wouldn’t be dangerous anymore-”

“What, so you think you can just _miraculously_ get rid of your powers? Don’t be foolish, Varian, it’s not possible. And that is _not_ your decision to make,” Gothel spat. “Need I remind you that if it wasn’t for me, you would have died as a baby, _because_ of your powers. After _everything_ I’ve done, I can’t believe you would still betray me like this.”

“I’m s- sorry, Mother.” Varian’s voice shook. “I’m- I didn’t want t- to betray you, I _promise.”_

Gothel turned her gaze to Varian’s workbench. The potted plant, various instruments, pages of notes, the little beaker with the hair floating in liquid; it all went off the table with a sweep of her arm. The crash of glass and ceramic on the stone floor was immensely satisfying.

 _“Now.”_ Gothel smoothed her dress and her features. “I hope I make myself very clear when I say that I don’t want you trying this ever again.”

Varian didn’t respond, staring at the debris with a stricken look on his face.

“Do I make myself clear?” Gothel repeated, more forcefully.

It came out as a whisper. “Yes, Mother.”

“Good.” Gothel turned to the staircase, patting Varian’s head as she passed. “Clean up this mess and go to bed. It’s very late.”

She made her way back upstairs with dignity, quietly seething. And if she shut the trapdoor behind her with a little more force than necessary, she couldn’t bring herself to care.

Rapunzel, unsurprisingly, was standing in her doorway. Still feverish, she clutched the stair banister, looking worried. The silly girl had dragged herself out of bed, _sick,_ because she was so concerned.

“Mother, is everything-”

“Back to bed, Rapunzel,” Gothel snapped, not in the mood to deal with her at the moment.

Rapunzel obeyed without a second thought, disappearing back behind her curtains.

Rubbing her temples, Gothel went back to bed. Disbelief and anger still ate at her; for Varian to defy her on something as important as this! If she hadn’t seen it for herself, she wouldn’t have believed it. But he’d always been too curious for his own good, questioning what and why things were. Her only consolation was that she’d caught him when she did, before he’d actually figured anything out.

Hopefully, he’d finally learned his lesson.

~*~

Varian stared at the disaster on his bedroom floor, still not quite believing how it had all gotten there.

His gaze would settle on shards of pottery and glass only for a moment before flitting to the damp strands of his hair plastered to the floor, the saltwater solution pooling in the cracks between the stones. Smashed bits of his conductivity probe, hand-crafted over months of careful planning. Crumbling soil and wilting leaves staining pages of his research, the ink running and smearing on paper.

He knew he’d been standing there for a while now, and the mess wasn’t going to clean itself up. And he should hurry up and get to bed like Mother told him to, in case she came down again to make sure, but he couldn’t bring himself to move.

Stupid. That was all he could think. Stupid, stupid, _stupid._ He’d been stupid to try it with Mother home. He’d been stupid to try it at _all._ It wasn’t for him to know why his powers were what they were- Mother had told him that time and time again. Why couldn’t he just _listen?_

She was right. She was always right, about everything- she had saved him as a baby, from people who tried to kill him for who he was and what he could do. She didn’t have to but she _did,_ she saved him and brought him into her home and into her life and had always kept him safe.

And how did he repay her? By going behind her back, messing with things he shouldn’t mess with, and disobeying her on the thing that mattered the most. And he knew he needed to clean everything and go to bed like she’d asked, but it was impossible to move or think or _breathe_ and he needed-

Rapunzel. He wanted to go to Rapunzel right now more than anything- but Mother was home and Rapunzel was sick and he’d promised himself years ago that he’d deal with any feelings about his powers by himself.

Besides, what would he even say? He was upset because he got punished (rightfully so) for breaking one of Mother’s most important rules? All because he couldn’t seem to accept the facts? That his powers were what they were, and nothing would change that?

No, no he couldn’t put this on her. This was his fault, his mistake, and he’d have to fix it on his own- push down the part of him that wanted, _needed,_ to know, and try to be better. A better son, and a better brother. 

Tomorrow, when Rapunzel asked him what had happened (because even if she hadn’t been woken up, she’d pick up on it almost immediately because that’s what she _did),_ he’d tell her he’d just gotten in trouble for staying up past his bedtime, conducting some late-night experiments. The crash she might’ve heard was him dropping one of his beakers. And he certainly hadn’t been singing his song without permission, running tests on a plant’s reactions to the spell in the hopes of figuring out what made his powers work. In the hopes of figuring out what to do to stop them.

Of course not. That wasn’t for him to know.

Varian took a shaky breath. He wiped his face on his sleeve, mildly surprised to see it come away damp (when had he started crying?). He grabbed the broom from where it leaned against his bookshelf (after one too many mishaps, he’d figured it was worth getting one to keep down here). He started carefully sweeping up the mess, mindful of his bare feet (glass in the foot- a distantly familiar memory he wasn’t eager to relive). Piece by piece, bit by bit, he took care of it. Some of his notes had survived; he threw them out, too.

This part of him, the part that questioned his powers, was over. 

It had to be.

~*~


	12. count the years

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Title: _count the years_  
>  Rating: G  
> Warnings: none  
> Timeline: **Time skips involved-** first section, Varian is 9, Rapunzel is 13. Cuts back to Varian at 8, Rapunzel at 12, (takes place before Ch.6), then jumps to Varian at 11 and Rapunzel at 15.  
>  Summary: Birthdays mean the most when spent with someone you care about.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Hi readers! After the angst of the last arc I figured we could use some fluff, so this one’s short and sweet. After chapter eight I decided to dig more into what birthdays would be like in the tower, since birthdays hold so much significance in the movie. Hope you enjoy, and please keep the feedback coming! - Aqua

_count the years_

~*~

Varian peered over Rapunzel’s shoulder at the mixing bowl.

“What do we add next?” he asked.

“Milk.” Rapunzel grabbed the whisk and started beating the egg whites. “Would you mind grabbing it?”

“Sure.” Varian hopped off the kitchen stool and walked over to their cooler. He reached inside and pulled out the thin bottle of milk, condensation dripping down the glass.

The cooler was simple in construction, really. Two big clay pots, one small enough to fit inside the other, with wet sand packed between them. You put the food in, covered the top with a damp rag, and it kept the food cold. They used it mostly to preserve vegetables and fruits, but even stuff like milk and eggs could keep for a few days if properly sealed.

It was Varian’s best invention yet, because Mother had liked it. She didn’t have to make so many grocery trips anymore, and less food went bad. She hadn’t been too interested in the science behind it, the mechanics of heat-transfer that he’d excitedly told Rapunzel all about, but that was okay. He was just happy he’d done something to make her proud of him.

It also let them plan surprises like this; making a cake for Mother’s birthday. Mother was kind of funny about birthdays, forgetting them more often than not and not really wanting to do a big celebration. This year, though, the siblings were determined to do something special for her.

Draping the rag back across the top of the cooler, Varian set the bottle of milk on the table. “Here. It needs…” He squinted at the recipe book. “One cup.”

Rapunzel glanced over at the bottle as she scooped a measuring cup of flour. “Just put half of it in, that should be fine.”

“Should be?” Varian raised an eyebrow. “Baking is a science, you have to measure everything as accurately as possible!”

“Oh, does it _really_ matter if this cup of flour isn’t packed all the way to the top?” Rapunzel asked, lifting the measuring cup.

_“Yes,”_ Varian said, putting his hands on his hips. “Unless you actually _want_ a cake that doesn’t rise.”

Rapunzel grinned. “As long as we put frosting on it, it’ll still be delicious!”

Varian rolled his eyes playfully and moved to take the measuring cup. “Look. All you have to do is tap the flour down to remove the excess air, and-”

_Poof._

A cloud of flour puffed up in Rapunzel’s face, giving her a chalky mask.

Varian gasped. “O- oh my gosh, I’m so sorry!” He clapped a glove over his mouth to hide his smile. “Uh, that’s a- that’s a good look for you.”

Rapunzel slowly and deliberately wiped the flour from around her eyes. A mischievous smile spread across her face. “Did you say to tap it like _this?”_ she asked innocently, throwing a handful of flour at Varian.

Varian blinked, shaking the flour from his hair. His surprise didn’t last long, however. Grinning, he dug his hand into the bag of flour and retaliated, landing a good hit across the front of Rapunzel’s dress.

After that, it was game on. The tower quickly devolved into shrieks of laughter and flying flour, their cake mix forgotten for the time being. When the bag was empty and the powder settled, they finally stopped to catch their breath, staring around them in awe.

Flour coated every inch of the room; the floor, the walls, and everything inside was a powdery white, like a freak snowstorm had blown inside. Covered head to toe, the siblings looked at each other sheepishly.

“I’ll get the broom.”

“I’ll get the dustpan.”

~*~

Varian gripped Rapunzel’s arm as she led him downstairs, his other hand covering his eyes as instructed.

“How much farther?” he asked.

“Just one more step down.” Rapunzel’s voice was light in his ear, humming with excitement.

Varian carefully toed his way down the last step. The floor of his bedroom was cold on his feet, like it always was.

Rapunzel had been real secretive about whatever she had planned for his birthday. Whatever the surprise was, it had required him to stay out of his bedroom for the past two days. Which was fine, because Varian pretty much never slept down there anyways, but it’d been _super hard_ to be patient. One of these years, he was gonna have her wait a few days, see how _she_ liked it.

“Alright, that’s good.” Rapunzel’s hand rested on his shoulder. “Okay, Varian, so it always feels kinda gloomy down here, right?”

Varian tilted his head curiously. “Yeah?”

Even though he didn’t sleep there, Varian’s room was the only place where he was allowed to build things and conduct experiments. So he did spend a considerable amount of time downstairs, and he’d be lying if he said he didn’t find it bleak. The plain, stone walls and plain, stone floor didn’t make for a very inspiring space.

“Well,” Rapunzel said, “I figured you might like a change of scenery. Open your eyes!”

Varian gasped.

Covering the walls was a floor-to-ceiling mural of the sky. A stylized sun and moon sat opposite each other in the room, the space between them filled with a seamless blending of night and day. Bright, sunny blues melted into the warm tones of sunset, streaked with smooth purple clouds. The colors then bled into a deep indigo twilight, dotted with dazzling constellations of stars, before paling to the soft grays of dawn. The painting continued with an orange sunrise that circled back to day, a complete cycle that spanned the circumference of the room.

It was beautiful. Varian was almost overwhelmed by the colors, gingerly tracing a hand along the wall as he took it all in. He couldn’t believe this was for _him._

“Rapunzel, I _love_ it,” he breathed. _“Thank you.”_

Rapunzel beamed at him, bouncing on her toes. “And that’s not even the best part!” she said eagerly. She stepped up to the lone candelabra against the wall and blew the candles out.

Varian’s eyes adjusted quickly, and for the second time that night, he was completely blown away. The entire mural was highlighted with luminescent paint, glowing in the dark of the room. Rays of the sun, craters on the moon, and all the twinkling stars- it was absolutely stunning.

He turned to Rapunzel, eyes wide. “You used your glow in the dark paint? Made from the- from the bioluminescent algae?” It’d been a gift from Mother a couple weeks ago, a rare find from a traveling merchant. “How much did this _take?”_

Rapunzel waved a hand nonchalantly. “Oh, just… all of it.”

“What? You- you used _all_ your paint on _me?”_ Varian’s brows creased together. “I- I thought you were gonna use it for something special.”

Rapunzel’s expression softened. “Varian, this _is_ special.” She put her hands on his shoulders, meeting his gaze to emphasize the importance of her words. _“You_ are special. I wanted to show you how much you mean to me. In fact, there’s nothing else I’d rather have used it for.”

Varian looked up at her, emotion swelling in his chest. “Really?”

_“Really,”_ Rapunzel said, smiling. “Happy birthday, Varian.”

Varian wrapped her in a hug.

“I love you, Rapunzel.”

“I love you, too.”

~*~

Rapunzel leaned against the window frame, watching the sky carefully for the first signs of the floating lights.

“Varian,” she called over her shoulder, “come on, you’re going to miss it!”

“Coming!” Varian’s voice floated through the trapdoor a second before he emerged. He had his hands behind his back, a secretive smile on his face. “Sorry, I just had to grab your birthday present.”

Rapunzel knit her brows together. “But wait, I thought you already gave me your gift?”

“That was just a decoy, I wanted to wait ‘til Mother left to give you your _real_ gift,” Varian said. He looked amused. “What, you didn’t really think I’d just give you a new hairbrush for your birthday, did you? At least give me _some_ credit.”

“Well, for the record, I happened to like it just fine,” Rapunzel said with a grin. “But, if you have something else in mind I certainly won’t object.”

A flicker of nervousness entered Varian’s expression. “Okay. So, I… I was thinking about the, um, floating lights? That come on your birthday? And I- and I thought, you can’t really see them too well from here. So…” He took a deep breath and held his hands out. “Happy birthday!”

It was a spyglass. The polished golden metal was skillfully engraved with intricate designs, spirals of stars winding their way up around the body. Rapunzel could tell just by looking at it that Varian had made it himself, instead of just asking Mother to bring him one- the craftmanship and attention to detail was immaculate.

“Oh, Varian, it’s _beautiful,”_ she gasped, taking it from him gingerly. “I… don’t know what to _say,_ except thank you! This is just perfect.”

Varian flushed at her praise, rubbing the back of his neck. “Good! That’s good, I- I know it’s not the real thing, but, I figured this would help, a least- at least until you ask Mother to go see them.”

Rapunzel hummed noncommittally at the reminder. She’d almost worked up the nerve to ask this year, thinking fifteen might be old enough, but had ducked out at the last second. She’d… try next year. Sixteen was a good age.

Rapunzel traced a finger along the engravings. “It’s wonderful, Varian, I love it. And it looks like you were right on time,” she added, glancing at the sky.

The first lights had appeared, small pinpricks of yellow winking brightly in the night. Face brightening, Varian hurried and sat beside her, tucking his knees to his chest.

“Go ahead and try it out, then,” he said eagerly.

Rapunzel lifted the spyglass, aiming it at the cluster of light. Her breath caught at the sight of them through the lens. She could almost make out individual shapes, weaving around each other as they danced through the sky. They moved like nothing she’d ever seen, flickering with a soft glow.

A warm, contented feeling spread through Rapunzel. “Varian, just _look_ at them,” she sighed, handing him the spyglass.

Varian peered through the eyepiece. “Oh, wow, that’s- that’s so cool! Definitely not what I was expecting.” He lowered the spyglass, expression thoughtful. “Huh. Well, there goes my theory about migrating flocks of bioluminescent butterflies,” he chuckled, passing it back to her.

Rapunzel smiled at him. “Varian… thank you, for this,” she said softly. “It… means a lot.”

Varian’s eyes shone with tenderness. “Of _course,”_ he said. Tentatively, he put his hand on top of hers. “Rapunzel? For what it’s worth, I- I’m sorry you can’t see them for real.”

Rapunzel gave his hand a gentle squeeze. “It’s alright. If it’s meant to be, then someday… it will be. Besides,” she looped an arm around his shoulders and hugged him close, “I’ve got everything I need right here.”

Sighing happily, Varian rested his head on her shoulder. They stayed like that, long after the floating lights finally vanished from the sky and Varian drifted off to sleep. Rapunzel looked out on the peaceful night, her arm around her little brother, and thought that there was no place on earth she’d rather be.

~*~


	13. all things

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Title: _all things_  
>  Rating: G  
> Warnings: there are some narrow-minded views about gender roles in here, but mostly just stereotyping.  
> Timeline: Varian is 7, Rapunzel is 11 (takes place a few days after Ch. 10), time skip- Varian is 10 and Rapunzel is 14.  
> Summary: Varian wanting to grow his hair out leaves Mother Gothel with some concerns.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Hi readers, thanks again for your continued support! For ages, the working title for this chapter was _‘Gothel is threatened by Varian nonconforming to traditional gender roles’_ but I figured that was too wordy. As always, please consider leaving a comment, they’re greatly appreciated! - Aqua

_all things_

~*~

Gothel drummed her fingers on the table, her long nails clicking on the wood.

Rapunzel and Varian bustled around the kitchen, talking softly to each other as they worked. It had been their idea to cook her dinner that night, maybe as an attempt to ease some of the tension that’d settled in the tower as of late. Gothel’s gaze kept straying to Varian, who occasionally fidgeted with his newly-shortened hair. He wasn’t as moody as he’d been yesterday, but was still a bit withdrawn.

Seeing him so at ease in the kitchen, however, had Gothel frowning. After the drama with Varian wanting to grow out his hair, she’d taken a closer look at some of his other behaviors.

He was… quite a feminine child, she’d realized. After all, he’d grown up playing dolls and painting flowers alongside Rapunzel, instead of acting like a proper boy. Aside from his science, he was interested in ballet, and he enjoyed baking and sewing. He even sang in harmony with Rapunzel just for the activity itself, not only for the purpose of activating his powers. He was _sensitive,_ too, even more so than his sister. And then, of course, there was the hair thing.

Gothel supposed none of that was really Varian’s fault. He didn’t have any men in his life to look up to, after all, just her and Rapunzel. He didn’t know any better. So, that left it up to Gothel to give him a nudge in the right direction.

“Okay, Mother, dinner’s ready!”

Rapunzel’s cheerful voice brought Gothel out of her musings. She willed a smile to her lips as the children served the food, Varian setting her plate down in front of her.

“Thank you, my dears, it smells lovely. Now, I do hope you’re planning on cleaning up the mess you’ve made in the kitchen,” she added, raising an eyebrow.

That earned her a pair of sheepish smiles and assured promises. Gothel nodded in satisfaction. “Well, then, let’s dig in, shall we?”

While they ate, Gothel couldn’t help but take notice of every little thing Varian did. Even his posture was ladylike; he sat with his legs crossed at the ankles, back straight, and never put his elbows on the table. Now, most of the men she dealt with were brutish and rude, and while she didn’t want Varian to behave like _that,_ there _was_ such a thing as being polite and still manly.

Yes, Gothel decided as the children cleaned up dinner, something would have to be done. And she had just the idea of where to start.

~*~

“Rapunzel! Let the ladder down, dear!”

Gothel stepped back as the ladder rolled down the side of the tower, clattering loudly against stone. She really did need to find a new way in and out, that was _very_ annoying. She shouldered the heavy cloth sack by her feet, gritting her teeth against the weight, and started the climb.

It’d been a pain carrying it all the way to the tower, and it was a pain getting it up the ladder, but it was quite necessary. She believed this would be the answer to Varian’s problem.

“Hello, children.” Gothel climbed onto the balcony and slipped through the window. She smiled at Rapunzel and Varian from where they stood, rolling the ladder back in. “Varian, I have something for you!”

“Really?” Varian looked up at her in surprise. “But it’s not my birthday?”

Gothel rolled her eyes. “Oh, nonsense, can’t I just do something nice?” she asked, setting the bag down. “Here, have a look.”

Varian exchanged a quick look with Rapunzel before sitting cross-legged on the floor. He undid the drawstring of the bag to reveal almost a dozen hardbound novels. A curious expression crossed his features, and he picked up one of them to read the title aloud. 

“The… Tales of Flynnigan Rider?”

“Yes, it’s a very popular book series for boys,” Gothel said. At least, it had been several years ago, if the aging on the books and the low price she’d gotten them for was anything to go by, but what difference did that make? “When I saw them, I thought they’d be just perfect for you!”

Varian looked a little stunned. “Oh, uh, th- thank you!”

“One more thing.” Gothel reached inside her cloak and drew out the second part to her gift with a flourish. “Surprise!”

Varian tilted his head, drawing his brows together. “What… is it?”

Gothel huffed. “It’s a sword, Varian. For fighting.” Of course, the weapon was one for practice, with blunt edges, a dull point, and made of thin, flexible metal that would hardly even leave a bruise. “Try not to poke your eye out, dear,” she chuckled as she handed it to him.

Varian gave her an uncertain smile, holding the sword carefully. “… thank you, Mother.”

“You’re very welcome. Now, then!” Gothel clapped her hands together. “Rapunzel, flower, would you please come sing for Mother?”

As the stresses of the day melted away in the magic of the spell, Gothel watched Varian out of the corner of her eye. He had picked up the first book in the series and was giving the back of it a cursory glance. His eyebrows raised with interest, and he flipped it over and opened to the first page.

Gothel allowed herself a smug grin. Once again, she’d been right.

~*~

Rapunzel pulled the last stitch on her needlepoint, admiring the embroidered bird with no short amount of relief.

It’d taken her a couple hours to finish it, the blue threads seeming to blur together towards the end. Hopefully Mother would be pleased with it. Setting the piece down on her side table, she hopped out of her chair and stretched her arms, muscles stiff from sitting still for so long. She figured she’d go check on Varian, see what he’d gotten up to. Her footsteps were light down the staircase, fingertips trailing the banister.

Varian stood in the center of the room, brandishing his sword. A book on sword technique laid open on the table, a follow-up gift from Mother he’d received the day before. His feet were wide, knees slightly bent. He held the sword high, the hilt up by his face, and the blade pointing forward horizontally.

He’d finally torn himself away from those books he’d been reading nonstop for the past few days… that, or he’d already finished them all. In either case, he was probably just trying to do what Mother wanted, messing about with that sword. Varian had confessed to her that he didn’t quite see the point to it, an opinion she privately shared. _“For fighting,”_ Mother had said, which didn’t make a lot of sense.

But Rapunzel couldn’t help but feel a little disappointed she hadn’t been included; it’d been a very deliberate dismissal from Mother, with no explanation. The siblings had both noted a slight shift in behavior towards them from Mother, as if she had different expectations for them. It left them baffled and uncertain.

“Hey.” Rapunzel tilted her head. “What are you doing?”

Varian glanced over at her, lowering his sword. “I… I’m trying to learn how to use it, like Mother wants. But it’s not fun by myself,” he sighed, scuffing his toe along the floor. “I wish we could learn together.”

Rapunzel hummed thoughtfully. That did sound like fun- everything was always more fun when they did it together, but they both knew that they couldn’t just _ask_ Mother to get her a sword, too.

“Well, that’s okay! I can use…” She looked around for a suitable stand-in, face brightening as she opened one of the kitchen cupboards. There was a clang of metal on metal as she rummaged around before proudly brandishing her find. _“This!”_

Varian blinked. “A frying pan?”

“Why not?” Rapunzel hefted the cast-iron skillet over her shoulder with a grin. “I mean, obviously it won’t work the same way, but I can… improvise.”

Varian gave the frying pan a considering look. “That could work! Just- just don’t give me a black eye with that thing.”

Rapunzel clasped a hand over her heart dramatically. “You _wound_ me, Varian. I promise I’ll be super careful. So, what was that stance you were doing?”

“Uh,” Varian glanced at the book, “first position; outside guard.”

“Well, let’s give it a shot, then.” Rapunzel slid her foot out and mimicked the stance she’d seen Varian demonstrating before. She shifted her grip along the handle, the body of the pan a little top heavy. “How’s this?”

Varian giggled. “I don’t think it works as good for things that aren’t swords. You won’t really be jabbing with it, so maybe keep it turned out instead?”

“Fair point,” Rapunzel amended. She adjusted the pan’s position, preparing more for an overhead strike than a forward thrust. “Better?”

“Very.” Smiling, Varian took up his sword and slipped into the position as well. “Now, I- I think the second position is called the, uh, the middle? And you take a step back into it…”

~*~

Varian crept around the tower, sword held carefully in a high guard as he looked up for signs of movement from Rapunzel.

Above, the high ceilings were shrouded in darkness. The room was only lit by a single candle, not enough to illuminate the rafters hanging over him. Somewhere in the shadows, Rapunzel was lying in wait, frying pan at the ready as she navigated the thin wooden beams with practiced skill.

Varian shifted his grip, the heavy weight of the metal only somewhat familiar. After seeing his interest in sword fighting grow, Mother had finally gotten him a proper sword for his tenth birthday, a couple months ago. He’d offered Rapunzel the use of his old practice sword, but she’d declined in favor of her trusty frying pan. She’d developed her own style over the past three years, and was quite fond of it.

And effective, too. Varian had been disarmed enough times to speak from experience.

“Give it up, Schmidt,” he called. “There’s nowhere to run!”

“You’ll never take me alive, Rider!” Rapunzel responded in an exaggerated character voice, which had Varian stifling a giggle despite the tense scenario they’d set up.

They were acting out one of Varian’s favorite scenes from _The Tales of Flynnigan Rider._ Volume five, chapter thirteen- the duel between the hero and the infamous bandit leader Albrun Schmidt. It was as much a way to pass the time as it was to practice their skills in a… less traditional sparring setting.

Varian opened his mouth to bait her again, get a better reading on her position, when he heard it- the barely audible sound of feet landing softly on the floor behind him.

Varian whirled around in time to parry Rapunzel’s attack, catching the weight of her frying pan on his blade. Their weapons collided with a loud clang, Varian’s arms shaking from the shockwaves. Gritting his teeth, he pushed back against her and freed his blade from the stalemate.

Varian disengaged and faded back, circling her for a better opening. The frying pan was good for blocking, so he’d learned to spot and exploit even the smallest opportunity.

Rapunzel’s watchful gaze followed him, tracking his movement. Her muscles tensed in preparation for a lunge, shifting her weight, and _there-_ an opening to her left side.

Varian feinted to the left, before driving towards the opening in a powerful sweep. Rapunzel only just managed to catch it- his blade glanced off the pan in a shower of sparks. Using her backwards momentum, Rapunzel dropped into a crouch and swiped at his feet, forcing Varian to jump back out of the way. 

However, he failed to notice the length of hair she’d coiled around his ankle.

Rapunzel gave her hair a sharp yank, and Varian was swiftly upended, yelping in surprise. He landed flat on his back, a pile of hair cushioning his fall.

Rapunzel leveled her frying pan at his chin, triumphant. “Gotcha!”

Varian let his sword clatter to the ground. “You have… defeated me.” He blew his bangs out of his eyes with a huff and broke into a grin. “Though, I- I don’t think the dastardly Albrun Schmidt would say _‘gotcha!’”_

Rapunzel helped him up, tucking her frying pan under her arm. “Does that really matter if I won?”

“I guess not.” Varian picked up his sword and slipped it back into its sheath, looped around the stair banister for the time being. “I still think it’s cheating when you use your hair,” he said, sticking his tongue out to let her know he wasn’t actually upset.

“A smart fighter doesn’t hesitate to use all their advantages,” Rapunzel reminded him, lightly bumping his shoulder. She settled her frying pan back on its rack and pulled the curtains open, letting light back into the tower. “Oh, it’s a lovely day outside! Want to eat lunch on the balcony?”

“Yeah!” Varian brightened. “Hey, can- can we have a tea party?”

“Great idea!” Rapunzel said. “I can spread my blanket out like we did last time. Should I save a spot for Flynn Rider, or is someone else coming?”

Varian hummed as he started preparing the tea kettle. “I think I’ll be a Chancellor today.” He gave her an extravagant wave with his free hand. “Very pleased to make your acquaintance, Your Highness.”

Rapunzel playfully rolled her eyes, hands on her hips. “Why do _I_ have to be a princess?”

“You don’t.” Varian shrugged. “I can be the princess instead.”

Rapunzel gave him a considerate look. “Well, whoever’s coming to the tea party, we’re going to need the tea set.” She opened up one of the cabinets. “Come help me carry it?”

“Sure!” Varian set the kettle down on the stove and skipped over to Rapunzel.

The afternoon was spent enjoying the warmth of early spring, sipping tea from delicate china as the siblings recovered from their sparring bout. Neither one cared about what was and wasn’t considered suitable for them; they were simply content to be themselves and share this moment, as they did all things, together.

~*~


	14. hope for brighter

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Title: _hope for brighter_  
>  Rating: K+  
> Warnings: verbal/emotional abuse, minor language  
> Timeline: Varian is 12, Rapunzel is 16 (takes place before Ch. 11)  
> Summary: Rapunzel breaks one of Mother’s many unspoken rules, and Varian makes a choice.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Hello readers! Another big thanks for all the feedback, y’all have been so sweet! Keep it up! We are rapidly approaching the end of what I’m now calling Act I, so I really appreciate hearing all your thoughts on the story so far. Chapter title and lyrics at the end are from ‘Outlines’, by Sleeping at Last. So please read on and enjoy! - Aqua

_hope for brighter_  


~*~

Varian dipped the plate back into the wash basin, his gloves dripping with soapy water.

It wasn’t yet that late in the evening, but he liked to clean the dishes right after dinner, so Mother wouldn’t think he was putting it off. Mother sat at the table, slipping her boots on as Rapunzel fetched her cloak from her bedroom. Now that dinner was over, it was about that time for her to be leaving.

Varian didn’t think much of it; it was simply a part of their daily routine. And if he was being honest, he’d be happy when he and Rapunzel had the tower to themselves again, because Mother had come home in the middle of a sparring session he was eager to get back to, his sword waiting in its scabbard.

Rapunzel emerged from Mother’s bedroom, dark cloak in hand. She gave it to Mother with a smile. “Here you go.”

“Thank you, dear.” Mother started tying the cloak around her neck.

Rapunzel tilted her head, a thoughtful look on her face. “Mother, where do you go when you’re not here?”

Mother froze.

Varian nearly dropped the plate he was holding. He shot Rapunzel a warning look. They never talked about how little time Mother spent with them- it was silently deemed off limits, like asking about their powers or going outside the tower.

When Mother spoke, her voice was strained. “Rapunzel, what could possibly possess you to ask such a thing?”

“Nothing, it’s just…” Rapunzel played with her hair as she spoke. “You spend a lot of time away and I was kinda wondering when… we might be able to… come with you? I was just thinking we might be old enough, now, and-”

Mother stood abruptly, her chair scraping against the floor. They both flinched at her expression, her gaze as hard and cold as a knife.

“You want to leave the tower.”

Rapunzel’s eyes widened. “Mother,” she said quickly, “that’s not what I-”

“Oh, no, that’s great Rapunzel, that’s _splendid,”_ Mother snapped. “It’s not like I’ve spent the last sixteen years caring for you; putting food on the table and clothes on your back and keeping you safe from those who’d wish to harm you. It’s not as if there were any particular _reason_ we stay in this tower, it’s not like the real world is a dangerous place for you, for _both_ of you,” she added with a sharp look at Varian. “No, I must be completely insane to want to protect you, and just keep you in here for the fun of it. Is that _honestly what you think, Rapunzel?”_

Mother’s voice had steadily risen until she was shouting. Her hands were clenched into fists by her sides, face twisted into a snarl like Varian had never seen. It made his blood run cold, even if it wasn’t directed at him.

Rapunzel had backed against the wall, looking like she wanted to run. All the color was drained from her face, her eyes glistening with tears. Varian’s heart plummeted. He didn’t see her cry often, and it was a jarring sight. Instantly, he wanted nothing more than to fix it, but he knew that if he tried to intervene it’d just make things worse. Unless…

Mother exhaled through her nose, wrestling her features under control. She drew herself up and leveled her gaze at Rapunzel, eyes narrowed.

“You’re ungrateful,” she hissed. “Selfish. And you should know better; that was a very stupid thing to say. Go to your room, I can’t even look at you right now.”

Rapunzel fled without a word, hair dragging on the floor behind her as she hurried up the stairs.

Varian said nothing as Rapunzel passed him, keeping his gaze carefully lowered. He had to wait until she had completely vanished into her room, or she’d try to stop what he was about to do.

When Rapunzel was gone, Mother sank back into her chair with a sigh, worrying her temples like she was warding off a headache. The sudden silence of the tower was overbearing, made harsher by the contrast of the earlier strife.

Steeling himself, Varian took a deep breath. “Mother… Rapunzel isn’t ungrateful or selfish.”

Irritation flashed across Mother’s features. “Varian-”

“I asked her to ask you.” Normally he wouldn’t have dared interrupting her, but this was _important,_ he needed her to believe him.

Mother stared. “Excuse me?”

Varian fidgeted with his gloves, both to help settle his nerves and sell the look of a guilty conscience. “I- I’ve been wanting to ask for a while now, but I- but I never worked up the nerve. So I asked Rapunzel if she could ask you for me.” And then, because it couldn’t hurt to try and soften the blow, “I didn’t mean anything by it, I promise. I was just wondering.”

“… I see.” Mother’s expression was hard to read. 

Varian hesitated. “Mother…?” he ventured. “I’m- I’m really sorry-”

“Bedroom. Now.”

“Yes, Mother.”

Varian hastened to obey, disappearing through the trapdoor. As he closed it behind him, he breathed a small sigh of relief, despite the way he was trembling. He’d expected her to get upset again. But this, he could handle. He was used to it. It was better than her being mad at Rapunzel.

That’s what he kept telling himself, in the hopes of calming his racing heart.

~*~

The pillow was damp beneath Rapunzel’s cheek.

Despite her best efforts, she’d only just made it to her bedroom before the floodgates opened. She didn’t like crying, never had, but the shock and the hurt was just too much. She was trying her best to muffle it in her pillow; Varian might still be downstairs, and she didn’t want him to hear-

There were footsteps approaching.

Rapunzel had only just looked up when the curtains to her room flew open, and Mother strode in. She swept past Rapunzel, without so much as a glance, to the vanity standing against the wall, busying herself with looking in the mirror.

Heart jolting, Rapunzel sat up and hurriedly wiped her face. Mother wouldn’t like to see her crying, it’d just make her angrier. “Mother,” she started, her voice still thick with tears. “I’m sorry for-”

Mother cut her off by raising her hand. “It’s alright, Rapunzel. Varian already told me what happened.”

Rapunzel blinked. “… what?”

“He told me how he put you up to it, so he wouldn’t have to be the one to ask.” Mother huffed, picking at her eyebrows in the mirror. “I suppose I should’ve suspected, he’s always been more challenging than you…”

Rapunzel bit her lip. So he’d taken the blame for it. And if she corrected Mother now, she’d know he lied to her, which would get him in even more trouble. _Damn it, Varian._

“I… please don’t be too hard on him.” The words left a bad taste in her mouth. “He was just… curious, that’s all.”

“Oh, you worry too much, dear.” Mother brushed her off, waving a hand absently in her direction. “And as for what you made me say earlier… well, I hope you know I didn’t really mean it.”

“Of course, Mother. I understand.” Not _‘I forgive you,’_ because that would imply Mother had done something wrong. And Rapunzel couldn’t do _that._ It was her own fault for asking the question in the first place, anyways.

“Good.” Mother finally turned to face her. She studied Rapunzel’s expression before sighing, opening her arms. “Come here, flower.”

Rapunzel slid off the bed, swallowing the lump in her throat. She returned Mother’s embrace half-heartedly, Mother’s hand brushing over her hair in familiar, soothing motions. Part of her took comfort in it, unable to help but feel relieved that Mother wasn’t mad at her, grateful for the misguided forgiveness. The other part of her ached because she knew Varian had brought it down upon himself.

Mother pulled away and met her gaze, hands resting on Rapunzel’s shoulders. “Let’s just put this all behind us, hm?”

She said it like she was being gracious, in that strange way of hers that made Rapunzel believe it. She managed a smile.

“Okay, Mother.”

~*~

Varian carefully cracked open the trapdoor, listening intently.

He knew Mother had left last night, but it couldn’t help to be sure. Hearing no signs of her, Varian pushed the door all the way open and climbed up the last few steps. Pale morning light filtered in through the window, washing the tower in shades of gray.

“Varian.” Rapunzel was waiting for him, leaning against the wall with her arms wrapped around her middle. Her voice made it immediately apparent that she hadn’t dismissed the events of last night.

“Morning.” Varian kept his voice casual as he brushed past her, busying himself by rummaging in the kitchen cupboards. “Have you eaten yet?”

Rapunzel wasn’t having it. “You’ve got to stop doing that,” she said. “Trying to take the blame whenever I get in trouble… you shouldn’t. It’s not right.”

“What’s the big deal?” Varian shrugged, but even he heard the defensive edge to his voice. “Mother’s always upset with me, so I- so I figured that at least this way…” He faltered, the thought escaping from him.

“What?” Rapunzel prompted. “How is this any better?”

Frustrated, Varian finally turned to face her. “I- I don’t know, okay?” He ran a glove through his hair. “I just couldn’t stand to hear her say those things to you.”

“So you’d rather her say those things to _you?”_ There was a sad look in Rapunzel’s eyes that Varian found almost unbearable.

“At least I’d have done something to deserve it!”

Rapunzel seemed thrown. “… what do you mean?” she asked hesitantly.

Varian swallowed. Regret instantly pooled in his stomach- he hadn’t meant for that to come out. He didn’t want her worrying. “Nothing.”

“Varian-”

“Rapunzel, _please,_ just let this go,” Varian pleaded. “I did it, it’s over, and everything’s fine. Okay? I- I won’t do it again if it upsets you, but I _promise_ I’m fine.” His voice wavered, despite himself. “Please.”

Rapunzel bit her lip, relenting. “Okay,” she said softly. “Okay, I… I won’t push it. But, I do appreciate what you were trying to do for me, you know. Just… I don’t want you thinking that your feelings are less important than mine… alright?”

Wordlessly, Varian nodded, turning away again. A small amount of relief helped ease the tension in his shoulders. He didn’t think he could explain his intentions to Rapunzel; he hardly understood them himself.

Because he knew that between them, he was the bad kid. He didn’t like it, and he desperately wanted to change the way Mother saw him. But if the cost of that was Rapunzel falling out of favor, he’d choose Rapunzel every time. And if that meant he had to bring Mother’s temper down on himself, then he would. Rapunzel didn’t deserve to be treated like that.

“Hey.” Rapunzel’s voice startled him with its proximity; she’d come to stand next to him, putting a gentle hand on his shoulder. “I mean it. I don’t want you sacrificing your feelings for my sake.”

Varian gave her a faint smile. “I know.”

And that's why she was the good kid.

~*~

_though my hands are prone_  
_to trial and error,_  
_i'm crossing my fingers_  
_for something to hold_

_i can't help but hope for brighter,_  
_here in the shadows of letting go_  
_god, may these good intentions_  
_be the outline of so much more_

~*~


	15. growing pains

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Title: _growing pains_  
>  Rating: G  
> Warnings: none  
> Timeline: Varian is 13, Rapunzel is 17.  
> Summary: Rapunzel and Varian share a quiet moment of reflection on life, family, and what the future holds for them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Hello readers! Thanks as always for your continued support, none of this would be possible without you! This week is a short and sweet chapter, and quite special, too; this is actually the last chapter with Rapunzel and Varian before the movie starts. Next week’s chapter will be featuring someone else, who hasn’t appeared in the story yet. Care to hazard a guess? :3c
> 
> So! Keep on reading and enjoying and commenting, and we’ll be at the movie before you know it. – Aqua

_growing pains_

~*~

Gothel knew something was up when she finally made it up the tower, slipping out of the sling of Rapunzel’s hair.

The balcony doors were closed, her children crowded on the ledge among piles of hair. There wasn’t even enough room for Gothel to stand, leaving her seated on the stone wall. Both of them had secretive looks on their faces, and Gothel sighed.

“Alright, what are you hiding?” she asked tiredly. “I hope you haven’t made a mess.”

Rapunzel and Varian exchanged a grin, and together they pushed the balcony doors open, leading the way inside.

The tower was spotless; glistening floors, freshly painted walls, and not a single thing out of place. Everything was neatly organized and dusted. The air was filled with a delicious aroma, and the table was set with a wonderful spread of stewed meat and freshly baked bread. A tall glass vase was the centerpiece, filled with a colorful bouquet of delicate paper flowers.

Gothel’s eyebrows shot up as she took it all in. “And what’s all this?” she asked, bemused.

“We wanted to surprise you!” Rapunzel said excitedly. “Surprise! It was Varian’s idea,” she added, giving her brother a light bump with her shoulder.

“Is that so?”

Now that _wasn’t_ surprising, nor was Rapunzel’s readiness to give him the credit. She was a generous soul, like that. Always looking out for him, putting his needs above her own. And Varian was always trying to please Gothel, as far back as she could remember.

The way he’d insisted on reading to her as soon as he learned how, at the tender age of four (with an ever so slight lisp to his voice). Excitedly demonstrating whatever his latest project or invention was, undeterred by her lack of understanding (and really, so much of it was _far_ beyond her grasp on science and she’d been alive for centuries- the boy was a prodigy, plain and simple). And the look in his eyes whenever he told her he loved her, the apprehension that shone in them as he waited for her to say, _‘I love you, too’_ (she supposed she hadn’t been saying it quite enough, as of late).

Gothel brushed a hand over Varian’s hair. “Well now, that was very thoughtful of you, Varian,” she said amiably.

Varian ducked his head at the praise, his cheeks flushed. “It- it was nothing, Mother.”

Gothel hummed noncommittally. “I’m very lucky to have such great children. Now!” She clapped her hands together. “Let’s not let all this go to waste! Wash up and have a seat.”

Rapunzel and Varian quickly complied, still beaming at her words.

For the most part, that was the truth- luck hadn’t had anything to do with it, after all.

And they weren’t perfect, of course, but they could definitely be worse. As far as she could tell, Varian wasn’t fixating on his powers anymore, and Rapunzel had stopped bringing up the topic of going outside. Gothel was starting to feel that maybe, just maybe, they’d _finally_ learned to be content with the way things were (knock on wood). She hoped that was the case; it’d save her more than a few headaches. And she wouldn’t have to worry as much about coming back to an empty tower.

(The fear was always there, nestled away in the back of her mind, because no matter what she did, she couldn’t completely eliminate the possibility.)

But perhaps… they’d finally reached the point where they could just _live._ Just the three of them together, forever. No more fighting, no more questioning, no more wishing and longing and reaching for something more.

Everything as it should be.

… they were really coming along, weren’t they?

A quiet smile made its way across Gothel’s face. “I do appreciate you, you know,” she said, as they all settled at the table.

That earned her a couple of pleasantly surprised looks. Gothel knew she didn’t hand out complements often. It was deliberate; if they got too overconfident, too big headed, then they might start growing bolder, getting ideas about questioning her authority.

But this was okay. They’d done a good job, and Gothel saw no reason she couldn’t encourage them a little. It wouldn’t harm anything. She certainly didn’t mind having a simple evening, free of strife. And so long as they continued to behave, the peaceful atmosphere would persist. She only reprimanded them when she had to, after all. A necessity of motherhood.

So for now, Gothel was content to enjoy a homely meal with her children, secure in the knowledge that if the situation changed, she’d be ready.

~*~

There was a tranquil air in the tower, the siblings gathered on Rapunzel's bed as they engaged in one of their daily traditions.

No matter what they’d been doing that day, whatever personal projects they were working on, they always reserved time for this. Varian would help Rapunzel brush through her endless hair, piles and piles of tangled gold, and she would brush his. They spent a lot of time together, sure, but usually they were focused on some task or another. Practicing dance or sword fighting, cooking, or cleaning up the tower…

This was different. It was a time for them to just… enjoy each other’s company. Sometimes they’d talk, about anything and everything on their minds. Sometimes they’d sing, their favorite way to unwind from a busy day. And every now and then, they’d be content with silence. There was something soothing about the motion of the brush, silky hair falling through her fingers, and the stillness that’d fall over the tower almost seemed reverent.

Today wasn’t one of those days, however. Varian was practically humming with excitement, fidgeting as Rapunzel pulled the brush through his hair.

“I think Mother really liked it,” he said happily.

Rapunzel smiled. “I think so, too.”

It had been nice to see Mother so pleased. It’d taken them a whole day of hard work to get the tower clean, which Rapunzel just _knew_ Mother would appreciate. She liked it when they did things like that, without having to be told. 

They were quiet for a moment, and when Varian spoke again, his voice was soft. “I… I love days like this. When we- when we’re a family. I wish it could be like that all the time…”

Rapunzel’s heart tightened. They both knew that sooner or later, one of them would do something to draw Mother’s anger. That was just how it was. Despite their best efforts, there were always mistakes to be made, lessons to be learned.

Growing pains.

So they cherished days like these, held them close to their hearts. And they comforted each other with the knowledge that when it happened, when Mother turned on them with flashing eyes and furious words, they’d have each other to fall back on.

Rapunzel set the brush down, taking Varian’s hand. “I know what you mean,” she murmured. “I do, too.”

Varian looked thoughtful. “Do you think it’s always gonna be like this?” he asked.

That was quite a question. Rapunzel wasn’t sure what she pictured when she looked to the future. How much would things change? Would it always be like this with Mother? Would she and Varian still be in the tower, after they were both fully grown? Would they ever venture out into the world, that dream Rapunzel kept inside her finally fulfilled?

“I… don’t know _what_ our lives are going to be like in the future,” she admitted. “Where we’ll be, what we’ll do, whether we’ll have families of our own someday… but I’m not worried.”

Varian tilted his head. “You’re not?”

In answer, Rapunzel slipped Varian’s glove off and laced their fingers together. Varian’s gaze softened at the gesture, an expression of trust and love between them. She gave his hand a reassuring squeeze.

“No. Because I know that no matter what happens, we’ll always have each other.” Rapunzel leaned forward and pressed a gentle kiss to his forehead. “That’s a promise.”

Varian’s eyes shone. “Forever and always,” he returned.

Rapunzel drew an arm around his shoulders and held him close, sighing in contentment. Whatever lied in store for her, she knew they’d be together, and that was enough.

~*~


	16. interlude: one day soon

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Title: _one day soon_  
>  Rating: G  
> Warnings: none  
> Timeline: a few weeks before Rapunzel’s 18th birthday (AKA the movie)  
> Summary: A tale of two fathers; one who lives regretting the past, and one who hangs his hopes on the future.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Hi readers! You can probably tell who this chapter's about from the summary, so if you guessed correctly then kudos to you! As Act One comes to a close, I just want to say thanks for all your support! This actually turned out to be one of my favorite chapters to write, probably because it’s such a change of pace from what I’ve been doing so far, and it's coming to you on my birthday! I hope you like it! Please leave feedback if you do, and read on and enjoy! 
> 
> Lyrics at the end are from _The Death of Me,_ by Dallas Green. I had to seriously restrain myself from just posting the full song, it's so good. Listen to it. Seriously. DO it. It's perfect. - Aqua

__

_interlude: one day soon_

~*~

Quirin sat in the silence of the room, absently scratching at the back of his gloved hand.

He’d been waiting nearly an hour, now, but he wasn’t one to be impatient. It gave him a chance to catch his breath, recover his thoughts before the meeting. Still, the guard had been apologetic while explaining he couldn’t be seen just yet. Not quite enough to be suspicious, however- as far as anyone knew, Quirin was merely a consultant of Corona’s import/export business. A meeting such as this wouldn’t be considered a dire priority, so the guard had no problem directing Quirin to a room where he could wait as the king finished up whatever matter was keeping him.

Leaning back in his chair, he let his eyes drift closed for a moment. These trips weren’t getting any easier to bear, in both the physical and emotional sense. He’d considered taking a couple days off to recover, but ultimately his conscience wouldn’t allow it. A few days could make all the difference in the world. Besides, it was going to be a long voyage, and he could catch up on his rest aboard the ship.

The sound of footsteps pulled Quirin from his thoughts, and he looked over. King Frederic stepped into the room, his stature as solid and imposing as ever. Shaking off his fatigue, Quirin rose to his feet and dipped into a bow.

“My king.”

Frederic cracked a smile, his eyes crinkling. “Must you do that every time?”

“It’s only proper,” Quirin returned, the corner of his mouth pulling up despite himself. “It’s good to see you, Frederic.”

“And you too, Quirin. I hope you’ve been keeping well.” Frederic’s expression sobered. “Come, we have much to discuss.”

Quirin followed Frederic deeper into the castle, to the room where they conducted all their meetings; Frederic’s personal study. The room hadn’t changed much since Quirin’s last visit, just over a month ago. The bookshelves had been rearranged, a new potted plant standing in the corner. Everything was neat and tidy, but Quirin could easily picture it with maps strewn about on the table, pages of notes circled and underlined and crossed out in ink. Countless hours had been spent working, agonizing over the mystery left for them to unravel.

“I apologize I couldn’t meet with you earlier,” Frederic said, closing the door behind them. “I was assisting Arianna with some new legislation.”

Quirin nodded, understanding. That was the price they paid for their secrecy. “How is she?” he asked, noting the edge to Frederic’s voice.

“Overworking herself with another project, I’m afraid,” Frederic sighed. “As you know, she always tries to keep busy this time of year.”

“Ah.”

The conversation lapsed into that stiff, awkward place where ordinarily, one would follow up with _‘and how is **your** wife?’,_ a polite inquiry returned in favor. But not for them. Never for them. Quirin was quite aware of what they were both thinking; Frederic’s wife had survived. Quirin’s hadn’t.

Old wounds flared up at the reminder; feelings of resentment he’d worked long and hard to overcome. Quirin brushed them aside, like burrs clinging to his shirt. He took his seat across from Frederic at the king’s invitation, settling into the high-backed chair.

The bottle was already out. Frederic filled two crystal glasses with the amber liquid and slid one to Quirin, which he took thankfully.

Quirin wasn’t a drinking man, and he knew Frederic wasn’t either. But the glass of whiskey had become a staple of their talks, something to numb the pain of what they were discussing. The way it scorched down his throat was almost comforting.

They sat in silence for a while, long enough for the sweet aftertaste to prick at Quirin’s tongue, before Frederic finally spoke.

“I’m guessing you didn’t find anything in Arendelle.” Frederic’s voice was wooden; he knew well enough that it wasn’t a question.

Sighing, Quirin shook his head. “No, the rumors of magic were all unfounded.” 

They both took another drink. Quirin knew that Frederic knew he was lying. It was expected, due to the nature of his work. But Quirin did hope that the young princess learned to control her icy powers before she came of coronation age, for her sake and her kingdom’s.

In any case, it hadn’t been the result he’d been searching for. By now, he’d thought he would have been used to it, but the bitter sting of disappointment had been as potent as ever. But there _was_ a saving grace, however much of a longshot it might be; shadowy reports of a pale, dark-haired sorceress terrorizing a far-off kingdom.

Perhaps the very same witch who’d stolen his son.

“However,” Quirin said, “it wasn’t a _complete_ waste.”

Frederic raised his eyebrows. “You’ve heard something?”

Quirin hesitated. “It… _is_ a lead, but-”

“I know, I know. Don’t get my hopes up.” Frederic settled back in his chair. “Where is it taking you?”

“Far beyond Corona’s walls, that’s for sure.” Quirin’s mind filled with images of a warm coast and arched buildings of sandy white stone. He’d have to brush up on his Spanish. “The journey will take several months, many more than I’ve gone before. I would ask you to watch over my village in my absence.”

“Consider it done,” Frederic said.

“Thank you.” Even though Old Corona hadn’t really been his home for the better part of fourteen years due to his almost constant travelling, Quirin was reassured with the knowledge they wouldn’t be forgotten.

“Is there anything you need for your journey?”

“No, your last stipend was more than sufficient.” Without Frederic’s aid, Quirin had no idea how he’d have funded his expeditions. Passage on a boat would not come cheap, where he was going. 

“When do you depart?”

“Tomorrow.” He’d already restocked on supplies, so there was no reason to linger. “I regret that I won’t be able to attend your daughter’s birthday celebration this year.”

Frederic made a noncommittal noise, waving off his concerns. Quirin brought his glass to his lips.

_I regret._

He had many regrets. Seeking out the flower in the first place. Letting his son out of his sight that night. Not being quick or clever or strong enough to stop it, or to find him. _If-I-had-only’s_ and _what-if’s_ haunted him in his dreams, in the form of a faceless child dangling ever out of his reach-

“I know that look,” Frederic said. “You’re blaming yourself again.”

Quirin smiled without humor. “You would know.”

Frederic nodded. “Yes. It’s the same look I see in the mirror every day.” He set his glass down, his voice lowering in its severity. “Quirin, we must have faith.”

Quirin glanced away. “It’s been so long, and I still haven’t-”

“You’re one man. It’s not as if you could walk the entire earth.” Frederic leaned forward on his elbows. “We must trust that they’ll be found someday.”

_But what if they aren’t?_

Quirin held his tongue, not wanting to stoke the embers of old arguments. Frederic didn’t know what it was like. Being out there in the world, searching for something, _anything,_ that could lead him to their lost children. Day after weary day, traveling long and far and working from almost nothing.

Quirin’s understanding of what the children’s abilities would be like was shaky at best, so any and every hint of magic had to be investigated. Intuition told him they would be well hidden, but there was always the lingering fear that he’d somehow, somewhere, already passed them by unknowingly. Who was to say they hadn’t grow up like any other children? That the distinctive blue streak in his son’s hair, the one Quirin looked for on every young boy he happened to meet, had faded, or been concealed? He’d always felt instinctively that he’d just _know,_ when he found them, but what if they’d changed beyond all recognition? Just two more faces in a crowd of hundreds?

They didn’t even know for certain if the children were together. Frederic’s accounts of the culprit had matched the reports that’d come from the Order, both describing the same woman, and the odds of two different people stealing these particular children were rare. Rarer than the children existing in the first place. 

But she might not even have them anymore. Maybe they were in someone else’s possession, maybe they’d been separated early on. Maybe they’d even been rescued or found or given to someone else who had no idea the history of the children or child they were raising as their own. Maybe they’d been mistaken or passed off as orphans, no one even considering that there might be a family out there searching for them.

There were too many unknowns, casting too wide a net over their great, wild world. Sometimes Quirin felt like he had as much a chance of finding them as he did a couple of shells thrown into the sea, years and years of nothing but water slipping through his fingers. And underneath it all, lurking like a behemoth in the deep, was the crushing fear that maybe it was all for nothing, maybe the children were already-

“Quirin.” Frederic put his hand on Quirin’s. “She has to be lucky every day. We need only be lucky once.”

Quirin let out a slow breath. “… you’re right,” he said finally. “You’re right, I… haven’t lost faith. It’s just… difficult, to keep sight of it sometimes.” He shook his head, managing a smile. “We’ll see them again.”

Frederic’s eyes glinted with emotion. “Let’s pray that the next drink we share is in celebration,” he said, raising his glass.

Quirin clinked their glasses together.

The last of the whiskey burned, like a promise he wasn’t sure he could keep.

~*~

__

_do i have nothing good left to say?_  
_do i need whiskey to start fueling my complaints?_  
_people love to drink their troubles away_  
_sometimes i feel that i'd be better off that way_

_finally, i could hope for a better day_  
_no longer holding on to all the things that cloud my mind_  
_maybe then the weight of the world wouldn't seem to heavy_  
_but then again, i'll probably always feel this way_

__

_my nerves will be the death of me, i know_

~*~

_**end act one** _

~*~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Hey guys, there’s some important info ahead so **PLEASE READ!** First off, we have finally reached the movie timeline. I’ll be taking a brief hiatus in order to get all my ducks in a row, one or two weeks. So, **_there will not be an update next Friday._**
> 
> Additionally, as much as it pains me, **I will be pulling back updates to once every _other_ week.** I’ve reached that point in the semester where I need to buckle down and focus on my studies or risk falling behind. And in any case, the movie is going to be a whole different story from what I’ve been doing so far, and I want to make sure it’s perfect and not rushed. The chapters will likely be longer as well, less in the one-shot format I’ve had so far. So sticking to one every week would’ve been a big challenge, and I really don't wanna sacrifice quality for quantity.
> 
> Perhaps once the movie is done and I return to the one-shot format for the series, updates can pick up again to every week. But for now, it’ll be every other. Deepest apologies. I ask for your continued support; feedback is going to be so important, now more than ever.
> 
> (Also; yes, Quirin was talking about Elsa from Frozen. And if you watch Elena of Avalor, you might recognize where he's headed next, though that won’t be covered in the story.)
> 
> Thanks for reading, if you did, and I’ll see you in Act Two! – Aqua


	17. the first day (of the rest of our lives)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Title: _the first day (of the rest of our lives)_  
>  Rating: K+  
> Warnings: emotional manipulation, blunt force trauma via frying pan  
> Timeline: start of the movie  
> Summary: Rapunzel’s eighteenth birthday is fast approaching, and her attempt to ask Mother about the floating lights doesn’t go as planned. But just when she thinks things can’t get any worse, trouble arrives unexpectedly in the form of a mysterious stranger climbing their tower.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Hi readers! I hope you’re as excited as I am to finally start the movie! Keep in mind, I’m not going to cover every single scene, and things will not be quite the same, for better or for worse. Hope you’re ready!
> 
> Now; songs. Obviously, in real life, people don’t randomly burst into musical numbers. Translating a musical into a purely written medium can be awkward sometimes. So here’s how I’m gonna do it; “I’ve Got A Dream” will be included, because in-universe, it’s a song. We see where the music comes from, the characters acknowledge that they’re singing- it’s a song. The other songs are really just insights to the character’s thoughts/feelings, so I’m not including them, because I can just write that. (Though I love imagining a duet version of “When Will My Life Begin?” and how Varian would react to “Mother Knows Best.” Poor anxious boi.)
> 
> Remember, I’m updating **every other week** now, so please read, enjoy, comment, and I’ll see you soon! – Aqua

_**act two** _

~*~

__

_the first day (of the rest of our lives)_

~*~

Varian narrowed his eyes in concentration.

Hardly daring to breathe, he scooped up luminescent powder from the bottom of the saucepan, gingerly piling it onto the spoon. With his other hand, he grabbed the hollow glass pendant he’d prepared, the glass tinted a slight green. Though he moved as if handling highly reactive, precious materials, he really just didn’t want to scatter the powder everywhere. The grains were so fine, he knew he’d be sneezing glowing dust for days afterwards.

It hadn’t been hard to make. After boiling some copper coins in a pot of vinegar until they were melted, all he’d had to do was add some sulfur and let it boil into a powder. Extracting the sulfur from the epsomite salts Mother allowed him had been the tedious part, but it wasn’t as involved as some as his other endeavors had been in the past.

Careful not to spill, Varian tipped the spoon up, lining it against the edge of the pendant. He poured the phosphorescent powder inside, and the pendant lit up with a soft emerald glow, the blown glass reflecting the light beautifully. Grinning, he set the spoon down and capped the pendant with a bead of glass, bringing it over the fire to melt it into place.

As far as birthday gifts went, it wasn’t his grandest project, but he knew Rapunzel would love it. The pendant was a smooth circle, about the size of a large pebble, and the color it glowed would match her eyes nicely. The golden chain he slipped it on was elegant but sturdy, since he didn’t want the pendant to come loose and shatter on the ground.

All in all, it was a special gift for a special birthday. Rapunzel’s eighteenth, in fact.

Dusting off his gloves, Varian stashed the necklace away on his bookshelf for the time being, glancing up at his trapdoor. He hadn’t heard anything from Rapunzel since he’d descended to his lab to work on her present, so he had no idea what she’d been getting up to that morning.

He blew out the candles before climbing upstairs, his footsteps quiet out of habit. It was a necessity, when Mother could view practically anything as a slight against her.

Upon reaching the main floor, it took Varian a moment to spot his sister. Rapunzel, nestled among jars of paint, had apparently managed to find an empty space on the walls; above the mantle of the fireplace, the long drapes hanging from the ceiling pushed aside and out of the way. She’d made quick work of her new canvas, and was putting the finishing touches on a breathtaking mural that was taller than Varian.

The background was a rich blend of dark blues, with a winding trail of warm yellow dots curling up along the wall and fading into the horizon. Varian recognized them instantly; the floating lights that graced the night sky each year on Rapunzel’s birthday. And painted in the foreground were silhouettes of him and Rapunzel, sitting side by side and watching the spectacle.

Varian leaned against the wall, eyes sweeping over the mural. He felt like his heart was going to outgrow his ribcage, cartilage and bone shifting to make space for the sheer amount of love blossoming inside him. 

“It’s beautiful,” he said softly, making Rapunzel glance over in surprise.

A shy smile crossed her face. “You think so?”

Varian nodded. “Yeah, I- I can’t believe you found a spot that wasn’t already painted,” he said, idly waving an arm at the walls. “I figured it was only a matter of time before you started on the floors.”

Rapunzel made a face. “Sure, because I _love_ dragging my hair through wet paint.”

Varian broke into a grin. “Aw, come on, are- are you sure you don’t want to add a little color? The blonde is so last year.” He nudged a clump of her hair with his foot, the golden locks strewn about the room as usual. “I’m thinking a nice chestnut would bring out your eyes. Maybe a trim, too?”

They both laughed at that, knowing full well what Mother would do if they ever did anything to Rapunzel’s hair. That was the joke- the idea that they would ever dare to do something like that. It was one of those things that shouldn’t have been funny, but was anyways.

After a moment, Rapunzel’s expression sobered. She eyed her work, a hint of trepidation entering her expression.

Varian could guess what was on her mind. “You’re going to ask this year?”

Rapunzel took a deep breath before nodding. “Yes. I’ve… thought a lot about it, and just one night out there… it’s not much to ask. Mother would be with us the whole time, and we wouldn’t even have to go that far, or near people, just… somewhere I can get a better view.” She looked at the mural wistfully. “So I can finally _know_ what they are.”

Varian hummed, crossing over to her. “No backing out this time, okay?” He’d seen the same story over and over again for years, now, even as Rapunzel’s need to see them grew stronger and stronger. And though he knew firsthand how hard it could be to bring up stuff like this to Mother, he figured that between the two of them, Rapunzel had the best chance of succeeding.

“Right.” Rapunzel played with her hair, her expression a mixture of excitement and apprehension. “No backing out. I’m going to ask her.”

Varian gave a satisfied nod. “Good. You’ve got this!” 

He wanted this for Rapunzel. So much of what she did was for his sake; she rarely did anything that was truly for herself. He cared about her too much to see her spend her birthdays full of forlorn longing. And he’d be lying if he said he wasn’t curious, too, not just about the lights but the outside world as a whole. Surely there wasn’t any harm in having just _one_ day outside?

Rapunzel’s eyes flashed with determination. “I’ve got this!” she repeated, more certain.

A familiar voice called up to them from outside.

“Rapunzel! Let down your hair!”

Varian glanced over his shoulder at the window. Mother was finally back- she’d stayed out last night, instead of returning to join them for dinner as she usually did. Perfect timing, too; he shot Rapunzel a grin. “And now’s your chance.”

“Now?” Rapunzel stood quickly, her voice slightly panicked. She grabbed the curtains and drew them closed, obscuring the mural from view, before turning her anxious gaze back on Varian. “Wait, wait, maybe I should-”

“Yes, now! Come on!” Varian beckoned her to the window as he pulled the other shutter open, stooping to gather up the ends of her hair.

“Rapunzel?” Mother’s voice came again, less patient. “I’m not getting any younger down here!”

Rapunzel hurried over. “Coming, Mother!” She twisted her hair into a loop and tossed it around the iron hook overhanging the balcony. After tugging it once to make sure it was secure, she nodded at Varian, who threw the bundle of hair over the edge. It cascaded down the side of the tower like a golden waterfall, to where Mother was waiting below, unseen.

They both felt it when Mother was situated, the length of Rapunzel’s hair going taut, and together they started pulling her up. They worked in a familiar rhythm, a method developed after years of practice. Varian’s grip was careful, mindful of the way the hair could slip through his gloved fingers.

“Hey,” he said in between breaths, glancing sideways at Rapunzel. “You can do this! I’ve got your back, okay?”

Rapunzel gave him a grateful look. “Thanks. I-”

And then there wasn’t time to say anything else, because Mother had arrived.

~*~

Rapunzel moved aside as Mother stepped through the window, anticipation bubbling in her stomach.

“Hello, my darlings!” Mother greeted them, pulling her hood down with a flourish. “Oh, I simply don’t know how you two manage to do that every single _day_ without fail! It looks absolutely exhausting.”

Rapunzel answered for the both of them as she pulled her hair off the hook. “Oh, it’s nothing,” she assured; truthfully, she and Varian were only _slightly_ out of breath.

Mother’s smile tightened. “Well, then maybe it shouldn’t take so long, hm?” Without giving Rapunzel a chance to respond, she whirled about, setting her basket on the table and shrugging off her cloak. “So what have you two been up to? I trust everything was okay yesterday?”

“Mhm.” Varian took Mother’s cloak and went to hang it up, giving Rapunzel a meaningful look as he passed; _‘ask her!’_

Rapunzel gave him one in return, _‘I’m getting to it!’,_ before turning back to Mother. “Yes, everything was fine, Mother,” she said. She didn’t ask why Mother hadn’t come home last evening, what she’d been doing- that was a lesson that only needed to be learned once.

“Good, good…” Mother crossed to the mirror, peering at her reflection. “Varian, I didn’t bring you any of that aluminum you asked for, the trader was all sold out. I’ll check again tomorrow.”

“Okay, Mother. Thank you.” Varian perched himself onto the kitchen stool, his feet dangling above the floor, and met Rapunzel’s gaze, tilting his head towards Mother.

Nodding, Rapunzel neared Mother tentatively, staying at a respectable distance. “Uh, Mother, I… was actually hoping I could talk to you about-”

“Rapunzel, look,” Mother surprised Rapunzel by taking her by the arm, pulling her to stand closer, “do you know what I see?” she asked, nodding at the mirror. “I see a strong, confident, _beautiful_ young lady.”

The compliment caught Rapunzel off-guard. A smile made its way across her face, and she stood a bit straighter, taking in her reflection. That was a nice thing for Mother to say-

“Oh look, you’re here, too.” Immediately, Mother broke into laughter at her joke, nudging Rapunzel with her elbow. “I’m just kidding, stop taking everything so _seriously,_ dear...”

Rapunzel blinked, managing a slight laugh. It might’ve been more of a wince. “… okay. So, what I was trying to say before is that-”

“Rapunzel, flower, I’m feeling a bit run down,” Mother interrupted, worrying at some of the wrinkles around her eyes. “Come sing for me, and then we’ll talk, alright?”

“Oh. Oh, of course, Mother!” Rapunzel resisted the urge to smack her forehead. Of course, she hadn’t sung yet- she could get it over with quickly, and _then_ ask. She pulled Mother’s chair out from the table and looked around for her brush- Varian was holding it out to her with an amused smile, having already located it.

Rapunzel took it from him with a nod of thanks before returning to Mother’s side. Handing the brush to Mother, she promptly sat down and started singing. She knew she was rushing, almost tripping over her words in her haste as gold light rippled through her hair. But she knew that if she didn’t ask as soon as possible, she’d lose her nerve, and then she’d be facing another year of waiting. She _couldn’t_ mess it up this time.

The familiar hum of magic inside her was a buzz, now, and the song was over in record time. “So! Mother,” Rapunzel started excitedly, leaning forward. “I was-”

“Rapunzel!” Mother gave her a reproachful look. “My goodness, what was that about?” Her eyes creased with annoyance.

Rapunzel deflated instantly, regretting her eagerness. “Oh, I’m sorry, I just-”

“Surely it can’t be _that_ important,” Mother continued, affronted. “I mean, _really,_ what could possibly-”

“It’s Rapunzel’s birthday tomorrow,” Varian spoke up suddenly, making them both look over. He said it innocently enough, but Rapunzel recognized the slight glint of a challenge in his eyes- a rare boldness that allowed him to interrupt Mother despite the way his hands tightened on the seat of the stool.

Mother raised her eyebrows, nonplussed. “Now, that can’t be right,” she said, glancing at Rapunzel. “I _distinctly_ remember- your birthday was last year.” It was impossible to tell if she was teasing or not.

Rapunzel managed a hesitant smile. “Yeah, um, that’s the funny thing about birthdays, they’re… kind of an annual thing.” She took a deep breath. “But the thing is, Mother, I’m turning eighteen, and-”

“Well, why didn’t you remind me, dear?” Mother asked with a laugh.

Rapunzel’s smile grew strained. “Oh, I… did.” Twice. But mentioning that might not be the best idea. “But uh, what I really want this birthday…” she played with her hair, her voice dropping, “what I’ve actually wanted for quite a few birthdays, now-”

“Do speak up, Rapunzel, you know how I hate mumbling,” Mother said critically, rising from her chair. “If you’ve got something to say, then say it, otherwise just don’t bother, hm? Honestly, it’s not hard.” She turned away, busying herself with unpacking her basket.

Frustration and uncertainty curled in Rapunzel’s stomach. Maybe now wasn’t the best time to ask… Mother didn’t seem to be in the best mood to listen to her, and Rapunzel didn’t want to push it. The last thing she needed was for Mother to snap at her. It might be better to wait for the most opportune moment, instead of blowing her chance straight away. There was... plenty of time to ask later.

She caught Varian’s eye, who’d been watching the scene unfold with a terse expression. He nodded encouragingly, making a _‘go on’_ motion.

Rapunzel turned back to Mother, a sudden rush of bravery seizing her. “I want to see the floating lights!” she blurted out.

Pausing, Mother looked up and frowned at her. “What?”

Rapunzel felt her face flush, and she ducked her head sheepishly. She hadn’t meant for it to come out like _that._ “Oh, I mean… I was hoping you would _take_ me to see the floating lights,” she corrected herself, standing beside the fireplace. She grabbed the curtain and pulled it back to reveal her mural, looking at Mother hopefully.

Mother studied it for a moment, an unreadable emotion flashing in her eyes, before realization dawned. “Ah, you mean the stars,” she said mildly, turning away again.

Rapunzel put out an imploring hand. “See, that’s the thing- I’ve charted stars, and they’re always constant.” A tossed loop of hair pulled down the lever that opened the skylight, revealing the star maps she’d painting across the domed ceiling. “But _these_ lights,” she continued, returning her gaze to the mural, “they appear on my birthday, Mother. _Only_ on my birthday.”

Varian hummed in agreement, idly swinging his legs. “Yeah, uh, there’s- there’s really no kind of natural phenomena that fits the description,” he put in helpfully. “We’re in the wrong region for auroras, they’re too sustained to be comets- for something like this to occur year after year without fail, it- it _has_ to be deliberate.”

Mother gave Varian a look. “So suddenly you two are the experts on the outside world?” Her tone was just shy of irritated, and that was enough warning to make Varian lower his gaze.

“N- no, Mother, I was just saying-”

“Rapunzel, why would you even want to go out there?” Mother turned away from Varian, disregarding. “I’ve already told you why your powers need to be hidden. And not to mention what could happen to Varian, should anyone find out-”

“I don’t mind staying here,” Varian spoke up, still timid. He picked at his gloves. “You two can just go, that way you won’t have to worry about-”

“Varian, no,” Rapunzel cut in, “I’m not going to-”

“We are not negotiating this!” Mother interrupted them sternly. She walked over to the window, reaching for the shutters. “There’s no reason to go beyond the tower. You couldn’t handle it, anyways-”

“Mother, _please.”_ Rapunzel made one final bid, causing Mother to pause. “Just one day. We can be careful, no one has to find out about us, I just… I have to see them, Mother, and not just from the window. It’s something I’ve been dreaming about for so long, and… I can’t help but feel like they’re meant… for _me._ I need to _know_ what they are.” Her voice wavered. “Please.”

Mother absentmindedly traced a finger along the wooden shutters, brows creasing in thought. “Rapunzel… have you so quickly forgotten what all is out there? Why it’s safer for you here?” She sighed heavily. “Oh, I have utterly _failed_ as a mother… the world is a very dangerous place, Rapunzel.”

Rapunzel’s heart sank. “I know, but-”

Mother slammed the shutters closed, making both siblings jump. When she turned to face them, her eyes glinted sharp and cold like a knife, and the smirk that dragged across her face sent a chill down Rapunzel’s spine.

“Well, how about I refresh your memory?”

~*~

Rapunzel stared out the window, watching as Mother disappeared from view.

A warm breeze whistled through the valley, rolling across green grass in waves. The blue of the late morning sky was bright and cheerful, rays of sunlight shining through a scattering of fluffy white clouds. It was a perfect day outside, but Rapunzel felt uneasy. How could something so beautiful be so deceiving?

Mother’s lecture weighed heavily on her. She hadn’t yelled, but Rapunzel’s stomach was still in knots. It’d seemed like there was no end to the dangers of outside; ruffians, thugs, poison ivy, quicksand, cannibals, snakes, the plague, large bugs, men with pointy teeth… it made Rapunzel’s head spin just thinking about it. How did _anyone_ live out there?

Most upsetting, Mother’s parting words echoed in Rapunzel’s mind; the low, warning tone and long nails digging into her shoulders, just enough to be slightly painful.

_‘Don’t ever ask to leave this tower **again.’**_

Frustrated tears gathered in the corners of her eyes, quickly blinked away. Mother was right, of course, like she was about almost everything else. She’d made it abundantly clear why the outside world was no place for Rapunzel. It would be too much for her anyways; she was only safe so long as she was here, where she belonged.

But the worst part was that despite everything, Rapunzel still wanted to go.

What was wrong with her? After hearing what all was out there, she shouldn’t want _anything_ to do with it. And sure, it scared her. Any one of those things would be enough to make her want to run for the safety of the tower, where the biggest danger lied in accidentally burning yourself on the stove. Not to mention how the thought of either her or Varian’s powers being discovered, of people trying to use her magic for themselves or hurting Varian out of fear, left her breathless with terror.

And yet… the pull inside her was as strong as ever, beckoning her somewhere beyond the tower’s walls. Sighing, she turned away from the window. This was something she’d just have to ignore, and-

She stopped short at the sight of Varian. He sat frozen on the kitchen stool, his head bowed as if Mother were still there, lamenting the horrors of the outside world. The only movement came from the wringing of his hands, picking at well-worn leather in a way that Rapunzel immediately recognized as anxious. Even if Mother’s reprimanding hadn’t been directed at him, the event had clearly left him shaken.

“Hey,” Rapunzel said softly, crossing over to him. “It’s alright. Come here…”

Taking him gently by the hands, she led Varian over to the window seat to sit down. They settled into an embrace almost instantly, Rapunzel tucking Varian’s head beneath her chin in a familiar way. He was trembling slightly. Running a soothing hand through his hair, she began to sing; an old lullaby they’d found in a book long ago. It wasn’t nighttime yet, but the moment felt right for it anyways.

_“The moon is risen, beaming,_  
_the golden stars are gleaming_  
_so brightly in the skies;_  
_the hushed, black woods are dreaming,_  
_the mists, like phantoms seeming,_  
_from meadows magically rise.”_

Gradually, Varian joined her, their voices twining together in perfect harmony. Shaky at first, but steadily growing stronger.

_“How still the world reposes,_  
_while twilight round it closes,_  
_so peaceful and so fair._  
_A quiet room for sleeping,  
_ _into oblivion steeping  
_ _the day's distress and sober care.”_

When the song was over, they sat for a while in contented silence, letting the calm feeling wash over them. Finally, Varian pulled away, giving Rapunzel a grateful look.

“Thanks,” he murmured. “I- I don’t know why I freaked out like that…”

“Hey, don’t worry about it.” Rapunzel gave him a gentle smile. “I’m sorry she got so… intense, I… shouldn’t have asked her.”

“Don’t be sorry,” Varian said. “You had- you had every right to ask. I’m sorry she said no.” His expression was full of sympathy. “I know how much you wanna see them.”

“It’s okay,” Rapunzel assured him, pushing down her disappointment at the reminder. “She… she’s right, it’d probably be too much for me to handle, anyways. And besides, I’ve got everything I need here.”

Varian was silent for a moment, the corners of his mouth pulling into a frown. “But… you deserve so much more,” he said quietly, his eyes shining with sincerity.

Rapunzel’s heart tightened. “Varian… it’s okay, I don’t need-”

“No, Rapunzel, it’s not fair. You should be able to-” Varian broke off mid-sentence, his brows furrowing. “Do you hear that?” he asked.

Confused, Rapunzel tilted her head to listen.

Sounds poured in from the open window across the room; birds calling to each other as they soared through the sky, wind rushing through the high cliffs surrounding the valley. Her own pulse beat steadily in her ears, Varian’s scarce breathing beside her. Nothing out of place, except-

The grating scrape of metal on stone, just below their balcony. A huff of breath, in a tone that was deep and unfamiliar.

_Someone was climbing their tower._

Rapunzel’s blood turned to ice. She stood up, her heart pounding. “Varian,” she whispered. “Against the wall.”

Varian scrambled to his feet and pressed himself against the wall beside the window, putting himself out of immediate view from the balcony. Rapunzel snatched her frying pan off the kitchen rack before joining him, positioning herself between him and the window.

They waited motionless, hardly daring to breathe. Varian’s hand gripped her upper arm. Close as they were, she could hear the frantic racing of his heart, echoing her own. Five seconds passed, ten- a shadow fell over the floor, and there was a scuffing sound and a grunt of effort as someone pulled themselves up onto the balcony.

A stranger stepped into the tower, whirling around quickly to close the shutters behind them. Their face was angled away, their back to the sibling’s hiding spot, showing only shoulder-length brown hair, a trim turquoise vest, and calf-length boots. They didn’t seem to have a weapon.

Holding her breath, Rapunzel crept forward on silent bare feet, approaching them from behind.

Oblivious, the person let out a relieved sigh, reaching for the leather bag slung around their shoulder.

“Alone at last.”

Rapunzel hefted the frying pan over her shoulder, tightened her grip, and cracked it over the stranger’s head.

~*~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Anyone else feel like if Varian was involved in “Mother Knows Best”, he’d just be a nervous wreck? Anyways, the lyrics come from an old Germanic lullaby, "The Evening Song" (also called The Moon Has Risen). It’s a very beautiful tune, and it seemed like a perfect song for these two to sing.
> 
> Let me know what you think in a comment down below, and I'll see you next time! - Aqua


	18. purgatory dream

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Title: _purgatory dream ___  
> Rating: K+  
>  Warnings: even more blunt force trauma, emotional abuse/manipulation  
> Timeline: Immediately after Ch. 17  
> Summary: Frying pans are swung, dreams are shattered, and there may or may not be an unconscious man locked in the wardrobe. But don’t worry, everything’s fine! Rapunzel and Varian can totally handle this.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Hi readers! I’m really happy you enjoyed the movie debut; the response was so lovely, and I can’t thank you all enough. Hopefully you’ll like where I’m going with it… in other news, we finally get to meet Flynn in this chapter! And most importantly, Varian finally gets to meet Flynn in this chapter :3
> 
> (P.S. if you read my rewrite the stars series and aren’t on tumblr, I’m gonna be updating that one next Saturday)
> 
> Read on and enjoy, and please don't forget to comment! - Aqua

_purgatory dream_

~*~

A solid clang rang out through the tower, and the stranger collapsed immediately to the floor.

Varian only just managed to stop himself from screaming, the noise muffled by his glove in his mouth. He’d known what Rapunzel was going to do, sure, but it was another thing to _see_ it.

Rapunzel shrieked, grabbing Varian by the arm. He nearly tripped over his feet as she pulled him away from the stranger to hide behind the nearest object, a sewing mannequin. They stayed crouched for a tense moment before exchanging a glance and slowly, _carefully,_ peeking out.

The stranger laid on the floor, limp and unmoving. They hadn’t so much as twitched since they’d fallen, and Varian’s stomach suddenly twisted into a knot. A heavy blow with a cast-iron skillet on the back of the head… if Rapunzel had swung at her full strength, then calculating in the distance from her wind up to the point of impact and comparing that force to the average strength of the human skull would mean that-

Varian’s eye widened in horror. “Oh my god, you _killed_ them!”

“No,” Rapunzel said quickly, grabbing his shoulder, “no, it’s okay, look!” She pointed the tip of her frying pan at the stranger.

Varian forced himself to look, pushing down the rising panic in his chest. He could barely make out the slight rise and fall of the stranger’s back; _breathing._ Which meant _not dead._ Rapunzel must’ve not been using all her strength. Sighing in relief, he looked back at Rapunzel.

“Okay, so- so what do we do now?” he asked.

Rapunzel chewed her lip, uncertain. In answer, she started to creep towards the stranger, frying pan at the ready.

Varian followed her closely, nerves humming with tension. Now that he was closer and no longer frozen in fear or fighting back panic, he could finally get a good look at the stranger.

They were tall and broad-shouldered, at a glance. Their face was obscured by silky brown hair that looked long enough to just reach the shoulders. Donned in light brown trousers, tall boots, and a white long-sleeved shirt beneath a blue vest, they had a stylish look to them. The outfit and hairstyle combined made Varian guess they were a man, based on what he’d seen in books and what Mother had told him men and boys were supposed to look like.

“I… think it’s a man,” Rapunzel said, voicing Varian’s thoughts. She leaned a bit closer.

“Careful!” Varian whispered. “He might be one of the ones that have sharp teeth.”

Rapunzel gingerly reached out with the handle of her frying pan and drew his upper lip back, revealing straight, white, non-sharp teeth. Both of them relaxed at the sight, and she let his mouth fall closed again. Tilting her head, she hummed thoughtfully before using the pan handle to brush the hair from the stranger’s face.

He had a strong jaw and nose, the unfamiliar features looking even harsher to Varian. His eyes were closed almost peacefully, framed by thick but well-maintained brows. His skin was smooth and tan with youth, though Varian couldn’t begin to guess an age for him.

They both stared at the man for a moment. Rapunzel had an odd expression on her face, but Varian was more preoccupied with the dark patch of hair on the man’s chin.

Varian frowned, tilting his head. “He’s got hair on his face,” he pointed out. His hand came up to rub at his own chin thoughtfully. “Am I gonna get hair on my face?”

“I… don’t know.” Rapunzel shrugged helplessly. “What do you think he’s doing here? Do you think he knows? About us?” She lowered her voice, as if the unconscious man could overhear. “About our powers?”

The possibility sent a chill down Varian’s spine. “Whatever it is, it can’t be good,” he murmured, wringing his hands together. “We should-”

The man’s eyes flew open, startled brown looking up at them.

Rapunzel yelped in alarm and brought the frying pan back down on his head, the sound echoing through the tower. The man immediately fell unconscious again, face going slack as his eyes slipped closed.

Varian clutched his chest, heart racing. “J- _jeeze,_ Rapunzel, do you- do you think you hit him hard enough _this_ time?” he demanded shakily, double-checking the man was still breathing and his skull hadn’t been shattered.

“What _else_ was I supposed to do?” Rapunzel asked frantically.

“I don’t know!” Varian threw his hands in the air. “Not _that!”_

Rapunzel took a deep breath, calming herself. “Okay. Don’t panic. We just… need to put him somewhere until Mother gets home. Okay? Think… where would be a good place that if he wakes up, he can’t cause trouble?”

“Uh…” Varian quickly looked around the tower, eyes landing on the tall wardrobe sitting against the wall. He crossed over to it and flung the doors open, gathering the assorted cleaning supplies and spare blankets in his arms. “Here?”

Rapunzel inspected the wardrobe as Varian relocated everything. “That could work!” she said thoughtfully, glancing back at the unconscious man. “Here, let’s get him in.”

Varian joined Rapunzel at the man’s side. Setting her frying pan down, she slipped the man’s leather satchel off before rolling him onto his back. She grabbed under his arms, leaving Varian to grab his legs. Together, they started to half-drag, half-carry the man towards the wardrobe.

“He’s heavy!” Varian huffed, adjusting his grip.

Rapunzel was struggling, too. “Almost there!” she said.

Sure enough, Varian’s shoulder bumped into wood. Now, the next part was a bit tricky; the man was a complete ragdoll, and gravity seemed to be out in full force today. It took some maneuvering, but eventually they managed to get the man stuffed into the wardrobe, bracing a chair against the doors to bar them shut.

“Okay.” Rapunzel stepped away from the wardrobe nervously, scooping up her frying pan. “Okay, we… we’ve got a man locked in our wardrobe.” A sudden light came to her eyes. “We’ve… got a _man_ locked in our _wardrobe!”_

“Uh…” Varian knit his brows together. “Yes?”

“Do you realize what this means, Varian?” Rapunzel asked excitedly. “Mother thinks that the outside world is too much for me, but look! I can totally take care of myself! _We,”_ she draped an arm around his shoulders, “can take care of ourselves. Maybe this’ll change her mind!”

Varian considered it. He couldn’t argue with the logic- he doubted _anyone_ could claim Rapunzel wasn’t capable after she’d single-handedly taken out a strange invader with a frying pan.

“It’s worth a shot,” Varian said hopefully. Maybe Rapunzel would get to see the lights after all!

“Right!” Rapunzel’s gaze rested on her mural for a moment before drifting back to the wardrobe. “I… can’t believe it,” she said wistfully. “A man from the outside world. Where do you think he’s been? What he’s _seen?_ I wonder who he even is…”

Varian glanced over at the man’s satchel, forgotten on the floor. “Maybe there’s something in there?” he suggested.

“Good idea.” Humming, Rapunzel stooped over and reached inside the satchel. She withdrew one of the oddest things Varian had ever seen.

It was a loop of gold metal with a collection of precious gemstones set in the front. The three largest stones made a sort of peak, translucent tear-drop shapes that caught and reflected the light brilliantly. They were framed with little sparkling jewels that studded the length of the metal, following the line of elaborate curls.

Varian had never seen anything like it. Rapunzel looked thrown as well, examining the piece with raised eyebrows.

“Huh. I’ll- I’ll admit, it doesn’t seem like his style,” Varian said thoughtfully. “But who knows.”

Rapunzel turned it over in her hands. “I wonder what it is,” she mused. She stuck her arm out and hung the piece on her wrist, like a bracelet, before giving Varian a questioning look.

Varian frowned. “That… doesn’t seem right.” He tapped his chin. “Not a necklace either, since there’s no clasp at the back. Hmm… do the gems have any magnifying capabilities? Like a- like a microscope?”

Rapunzel lifted the piece to her eyes, peering at him through the gemstones. “No, it looks all… wonky. Not very good for seeing anything,” she chuckled, lowering it again. She paused, turning towards the mirror that stood against the wall. A pensive expression crossed her features, and hesitantly, she lifted the piece up and rested it on top of her head.

The crest of it settled right above her forehead, fitting the natural curve of her skull. Delicate though it was, it sat grand and impressive, glittering in the light. It was quite striking, Rapunzel staring wide-eyed at the mirror.

“Hey, that looks pretty good!” Varian exclaimed. He glanced over his shoulder at the wardrobe, tilting his head. “Why d’ya think _he_ has it?”

Rapunzel blinked, as if coming out of a daze. “No idea,” she shrugged, turning her head to study her reflection at different angles.

Varian gave the satchel a curious look. “I wonder if there’s anything else-”

_“Rapunzel!”_

They both jumped at Mother’s voice, slightly muffled through the closed shutters.

Varian looked over at the window, brows furrowed. “Mother? What’s she doing back so soon?”

“I don’t know,” Rapunzel said, pulling the piece off her head. “But hey, this is good! We can just tell her now, and at least we won’t have to worry about him waking up.” She quickly stuffed the piece back into the satchel, stowing it a vase before running to the window and throwing the shutters open.

“Yeah… r- right.”

Varian gave the wardrobe one final look before joining Rapunzel at the window.

~*~

Mother had no sooner set foot on the balcony than Rapunzel greeted her.

“Mother! Welcome back!” Rapunzel slipped her hair off the hook. “Um, why… are you here?” she asked, as politely as she could. She was curious, after all; Mother had barely been gone an hour.

Mother looked amused. “Well, I’ve got a surprise that just couldn’t wait!” she hummed, brushing past Rapunzel and Varian. She shifted the basket off her shoulder and set it on the table. “We’re having hazelnut soup tonight, your favorite! Surprise! We’ll have to start it cooking now if we want it to be ready by dinnertime-”

“Oh,” Rapunzel said quickly, “Mother, we can’t- Varian’s allergic, remember?” She had enough foresight not to add that she hadn’t even _had_ hazelnut soup since she was seven years old; Mother wasn’t that great at remembering things like that, and wouldn’t appreciate Rapunzel mentioning it.

Mother raised an eyebrow, giving Varian a look. “Ah. That’s right,” she said, voice flat. “Well, I _suppose_ I’ll have to bring something else back, then, and find something to do with all this…” She started gathering up the ingredients she’d unpacked, an air of inconvenience about her.

“Sorry,” Varian murmured, huddled on the window seat with his knees tucked to his chest.

Rapunzel gave him a reassuring look before taking a step towards Mother. “Actually, Mother, since you’re here, there _is_ something I wanted to talk to you about-”

“Oh, Rapunzel,” Mother sighed, “you know I hate leaving after a fight. Especially when I’ve done nothing wrong,” she added, her voice self-assured.

Rapunzel let the statement go unchallenged. “Okay…” She took a deep breath. “I’ve been thinking about what you said earlier, and-”

“I hope you’re still not talking about the stars,” Mother interrupted, without looking up.

“Floating lights,” Rapunzel corrected gently, stepping towards the wardrobe, “and yes, I’m… leading up to that-”

“Because I really thought we dropped the issue, sweetheart.” Mother finally glanced over, her smile just strained enough to be unpleasant.

It made Rapunzel’s inhibitions come flooding back, but not enough to sway her. “I know, Mother,” she pushed on, adopting a confident smile. “I’m just saying… you _think_ I’m not strong enough to handle myself out there-”

“Oh, darling, I _know_ you’re not strong enough to handle yourself out there,” Mother said smugly, her lip curling in a way that was just shy of cruel.

The words stung, but Rapunzel forced herself to ignore it. She summoned up her courage and took another step towards the wardrobe, reaching for the chair barring it shut. “But if you _just-”_

“Rapunzel, we’re done talking about this.” Mother’s voice had crossed over from irritated to warning, her eyes cold and her expression tense.

All of Rapunzel’s instincts were screaming for her to back down, to spare herself and Varian whatever wrath Mother might unleash in retaliation. But she had waited too long for this, it was too important for her to give up now. “Trust me!” she pleaded. “I know what I-”

_“Rapunzel-”_

“Oh, come on-”

“Enough with the lights, Rapunzel!” Mother snapped finally. Her voice cracked through the tower like thunder, spitting venom and open hostility with the dark shadow of a threat in her eyes. “You are _not_ leaving this tower, _ever!”_

Rapunzel pulled her hand away from the chair like she’d been burned. The shock hit her first as Mother’s words registered, followed quickly by hurt.

Mother huffed a sigh, falling into her chair. To say she looked regretful would have been a stretch; if anything, she seemed inconvenienced. “Oh, great. Now _I’m_ the bad guy.”

Rapunzel’s breath caught in her throat, the words echoing in her mind. Never. Never leaving. Here forever, nothing changing, always this cycle of hurt and apology and walking on eggshells until the next storm broke without a single day outside to make it all bearable and she _couldn’t-_

Her gaze fell on her mural, each brush stroke painted with care and hope. Tears blurred her vision, quickly blinked away. Her _dream-_ it’d been a lost cause from the very start. She’d always told herself that one day, things would be different, but she knew now that Mother was never going to let her see them.

The realization broke her heart. It wasn’t much to ask. Rapunzel had never asked much of Mother, doing her best to be the kind, obedient daughter Mother wanted. Doing her best to protect Varian from the worst of it while pacifying Mother, while walking that delicate line between picking sides (because though she was on Varian’s side, always had been and always would be, she couldn’t let it show to Mother, for both of their sakes). She worked hard and rarely complained and all she’d wanted was to see the lights.

It hurt more than any harsh word ever could, that Mother wouldn’t even let Rapunzel have _this._

Varian’s eyes met hers, shining with worry and sympathy and confusion, before darting to the wardrobe and back again. There was a clear question in his expression, intent written in the way his muscles tensed. Preparing to be the one to speak up, to try and carry out her original plan regardless.

Rapunzel swallowed the lump in her throat. As much as she wanted to risk it, she knew deep down there was no convincing Mother. Even if they showed her the man in the wardrobe, that Rapunzel could protect herself and Varian, it wouldn’t be enough. It’d never be enough.

Rapunzel had to think about what was best for Varian now, not cause even more problems by refusing to let the matter drop like Mother wanted. Because even if Mother's quarrel was with her, she knew Varian would suffer for it. He didn't need that kind of conflict in his life; his earlier reaction had made that clear. So, she had to let this go.

But perhaps it wasn’t all hopeless. She could salvage something from this wreck, a consolation that would make the death of her dream easier to accept.

Rapunzel gave Varian a slight shake of her head, her gaze filled with meaning; _‘trust me.’_ That was the only notice given for what she was about to do, taking a deep breath.

“All I was gonna say, Mother,” she said, wrapping her arms around herself, “is that… I know what I want for my birthday now.”

“And _what_ is that?” Mother asked tiredly, rubbing at her temples as if warding off a headache.

Rapunzel hesitated only for a moment. “New paint,” she lied, offering an apologetic smile. “The paint made from the… white shells you once brought me?”

Mother knit her brows together. “Well, that is a very long trip, Rapunzel. Almost three days’ time.”

Rapunzel looked away. “I just… thought it was a better idea than the… stars.”

The tower was quiet for a moment as Mother considered her words. Varian kept his gaze carefully downcast, so as not to give away the lie in his expression. Rapunzel waited for Mother’s response with bated breath, her heart pounding- this might be her only chance.

Mother slowly rose from her chair. “Are you sure you two will be okay?” she asked, uncertain.

A thrill of excitement ran through Rapunzel, but she didn’t let it show, keeping her face neutral as she nodded. “We’re safe as long as we’re here,” she said, making herself sound convinced. Resolved.

Mother glanced over at Varian, who nodded. “Yeah,” he said, “we’ll be fine.”

Mother pursed her lips. “Very well, then,” she relented. She drew her cloak tighter around her, slipping her basket into the crook of her arm before approaching Rapunzel. “I’ll be back in three days’ time,” she said, resting her hands on Rapunzel’s shoulders. Her expression softened. “I love you very much, dear.”

“I love you more.” The response came automatically, Rapunzel managing a half-hearted smile.

Mother kissed the top of her head before drawing her into a hug. “I love you most.”

Rapunzel hugged her back, quieting the part of her that was still hurt by what Mother had said. When Mother offered reconciliation, you took it.

Smiling, Mother stepped away, turning her attention to Varian. “Come give me a hug goodbye, Varian,” she said, opening her arms to him.

Varian obeyed quickly, hopping down from the window seat and settling in her arms. “Goodbye, Mother.”

Mother patted his head. “Goodbye, I’ll be back soon. You two behave yourselves, now.” It was mostly directed at Varian. “No experimenting while I’m gone, Varian. Understood?” she asked, pulling away to study his face.

“Yes, Mother,” Varian said dutifully, bowing his head.

“Good.” Mother nodded in satisfaction. “I love you.”

“I love you, too.”

With that, Mother took her leave. As Rapunzel gradually lowered Mother to the ground, her hair running down the length of the tower, she could sense Varian beside her, sense his curiosity. They waited until Mother was out of sight, to make sure she was well and truly gone. The moment she vanished from the valley, Varian turned to Rapunzel.

The first thing he did was wrap her in a hug, which she returned gratefully. When he pulled away, his brows were creased together in thought. “Why did you do that?” he asked.

Rapunzel bit her lip. “I was thinking… maybe _he_ knows what the lights are.” She nodded at the wardrobe. “He can tell me, and then at least I’ll know, even if I can’t actually go see them.”

Varian followed her gaze. “Okay… but why does Mother need to be gone for three days?”

“I… might have gone a bit overboard,” Rapunzel winced. “But I had to make sure Mother would be gone long enough this time, so she wouldn’t unexpectedly show up again. The shells were the first thing that came to mind.”

Varian frowned, picking at his gloves. “I’m not sure, Rapunzel. We- we have no idea who this man is! What if he’s dangerous?”

“Look, we’ll be careful!” Rapunzel promised. “We can… tie him up!”

“With _what?”_ Varian asked, exasperated.

“Um…” Rapunzel glanced around. Her gaze rested on her hair, draped in odd piles around the room. She gathered up a clump of it, giving Varian a shrug.

Varian blinked.

“Well. That works.”

~*~

Flynn Rider slowly opened his eyes.

He didn’t remember what happened, he didn’t know where he was, and his head was pounding like a kettledrum on a battlefield. All in all, he’d had worse rude awakenings.

“What…?” Flynn looked around, wincing as his head throbbed at the movement.

It was a quaint little place; from what he could see, anyways. The only light came from a skylight directly above him, leaving the rest of the room shrouded in darkness. As he got his bearings, the memories started to come back to him- the hidden tower. He spotted the window he’d entered through. It was closed, and there were no other visible exits- it had to be behind him, then, beyond his field of vision.

Because he was very much tied to a chair right now. It wasn’t the first time Flynn had been tied to a chair, and would probably not be the last, but what really threw him for a loop was _what_ he’d been restrained with. It was unlike any rope he’d ever seen; a continuous length of fine, golden strands that looked suspiciously, unnervingly, like…

“Is this… hair?” he wondered aloud. The thought would have seriously creeped him out if he weren’t so perplexed.

“Struggling… struggling is pointless!”

A faint, wavering voice came from somewhere above him. Flynn squinted up at the rafters, unable to make anything out.

“I know why you’re here,” the voice continued, “and I’m not… afraid of you.” They sounded female, and entirely unconvincing.

Flynn frowned. “What?”

Considering that Flynn himself could hardly believe the events that’d led him there (getting away with the crime of the century, fleeing through the forest from the royal guard, fighting a startlingly intelligent horse, plummeting off a cliff, landing unharmed in the canopy of a massive oak, discovering a hidden valley and free scaling the hidden tower he’d found within using arrows that’d been shot at him), he seriously doubted this mysterious woman had a clue.

There was a series of soft thuds from above, followed shortly by the sound of someone landing just in front of him. A young woman emerged from the shadows, meeting his gaze evenly.

Big eyes and a heart shaped face gave her a disarmingly innocent look, a few freckles splashed across her button nose. She was dressed simply in a flowing purple dress, barefooted and wielding a frying pan, which explained why Flynn’s head was aching. And perhaps the thing he should have noticed straight away was the blonde hair cascading down her back, trailing on the floor around the room and winding up to his chair.

So it was _her_ hair, then. Well, he’d give her points for creativity.

“Who are you, and how did you find me?” she asked. Her eyes were quite striking; bright, emerald green and framed with long lashes.

“Uh… huh…” Flynn said eloquently.

Narrowing her eyes, she took a step closer. “Who _are_ you,” she repeated, raising her frying pan, “and _how_ did you find me?”

Flynn didn’t find her glare intimidating at all; it looked like she’d borrowed it from someone else, and it didn’t quite fit her face. But in any case, she’d already struck him unconscious with that cookery once before and would likely do so again. It would far better serve his purposes to _not_ be struck unconscious, so he figured it was in his best interest to say something, shaking himself out of his daze.

Flynn cleared his throat, adopting a genuine expression. “I know not who you are,” he said seriously, “nor how I came to find you. But may I just say….” He broke into his most charming grin, the one that made people swoon and let their guards down, so he could slip out of whatever predicament he’d gotten himself into. “Hi.”

The girl just stared at him, her brows creasing together in confusion. Or was that irritation? He wasn’t sure, he wasn’t used to ladies looking at him like that.

Definitely not the expected reaction, but Flynn wasn’t one to be deterred easily. He tried again, laying it on thick with a quirk of his eyebrows. “How ya doing? Name’s Flynn Rider. I-”

_“Flynn Rider?”_

The second voice came out of nowhere, a squeal at a frequency that was actually painful to the ears. A kid poked his head out from behind the girl, his eyes wide and his mouth open.

Flynn blinked at the child’s sudden appearance. “… uh, yeah?” he ventured.

 _“Oh my gosh,_ no way!” the boy gasped, stepping fully into view.

He was a scrawny kid, appearing much smaller than the girl despite only being several inches shorter. Thirteen, fourteen at the most, if Flynn had to guess. Shaggy black hair spilled just above his shoulders, long bangs hanging in his light blue eyes. There was an odd stripe of blue in his hair to match. Pale and freckled, with a pointed nose and front teeth that stuck out just enough to be noticeable.

He was wearing plain brown trousers, frayed at the ends, and a baggy blue shirt, the sleeves rolled up several times. More confusing were his thick, black leather gloves; they were well-worn with age, and almost went up to his elbows. Curiously, he had a sword on his hip, sheathed on a belt that was pulled all the way to the last loop.

And _again,_ with the bare feet. Must be a ‘shoes-off’ house…

“I told you to stay behind me,” the girl whispered over her shoulder, putting an arm out in front of him. She gave Flynn a nervous look, tightening her grip on her frying pan.

They were an odd mix of plain and bizarre, these two. They didn’t share _that_ much resemblance, but he supposed it was enough to be related. Siblings, then. The boy was too old to be her kid, unless Flynn had _drastically_ misjudged her age…

“Rapunzel, it’s Flynn Rider!” the boy exclaimed, tugging on her sleeve.

“Flynn Rider?” The girl, Rapunzel _(Rapunzel?_ Yeesh, what kind of awful parents named their kid that?), tilted her head at Flynn. “Like, from the-”

“Yes, from the books!” A huge grin had spread across the boy’s face.

“Really?” Rapunzel gave Flynn a critical look. “Not exactly what I was picturing…”

The realization suddenly hit Flynn, and he would’ve smacked his palm to his face if he could. “No, wait, wait just a second, I’m not actually-”

“I- I can’t believe it!” the boy carried on. He walked in a small circle, like he didn’t know what to do with himself. “Flynn Rider, in person! I’m a- I’m a huge fan, I’ve read every single book about you!”

Flynn groaned internally. “Listen, kid- what’s your name?”

The boy beamed at him. “Varian, sir!”

“Varian.” Flynn raised an eyebrow. It was certainly a day for names. “Hate to burst your bubble, kid, but the thing is, I’m-”

“Oh, _oh!”_ Varian’s eyes lit up. “Remember that time you helped stop the burglary at the Ivory Palace of the Mountain Kingdom?” He bounced on his toes, bursting with excitement. “That was- that was _so_ cool!”

Flynn bit back an irritated huff. “Yeah, about that, I’m not actually-” An abrupt thought occurred to him, and every other care flew from his mind, his heart jolting. “Woah, hold on, _where_ is my satchel?” he demanded, trying and failing to keep the alarm from his voice.

Rapunzel gave him a triumphant smile. “I’ve hidden it,” she said smugly, folding her arms. “Somewhere you’ll _never_ find it.”

That helped ease Flynn’s panic somewhat; clearly, he was dealing with amateurs. He glanced around the tower, deftly scanning for all the usual places people hid their valuables. There didn’t seem to be any kind of lockbox or chest in the room and he knew he’d taken them by surprise (because seriously, who would use a _frying pan_ as their first resort?) so it was probably a rush job- look for proximity and convenience…

Sitting a few feet away was a round ceramic pot that seemed to serve no viable purpose, and Flynn gave Rapunzel a dry look.

“It’s in that pot, isn’t it?”

Wrong thing to say. He was right, of course, but he couldn’t even gloat about it because the next thing he knew, a frying pan was swinging towards his face.

_**CLANG.** _

~*~

_i'm here, somewhere between  
victory and a white flag  
caught in this purgatory dream, i'm stuck_

__

__

_call it a compromise_  
_or just an intermission  
_ _some kind of consolation prize_  
_so close, but never finished_

~*~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Lyrics from _intermission,_ by (you guess it) Sleeping at Last. Please comment if you liked it, and I'll see you guys not next Friday, but the one after! - Aqua


	19. first step

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Title: _first step_  
>  Rating: G  
> Warnings: one instance of mild language  
> Timeline: immediately after Ch. 18  
> Summary: After a question, a promise, and a shaky deal, Rapunzel and Varian leave the tower for the first time. Needless to say, it's quite an event, and Flynn just wants his satchel back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Hi readers! I'm so happy you're enjoying the movie so far, thanks for all the lovely comments. I really love how this chapter came out, so please let me know what you think! Enjoy! - Aqua

_first step_

~*~

“I know what you’re going to say.”

Rapunzel settled the leather satchel in its new hiding spot; a space under the floorboard of the lowest stair step. The wooden board groaned as she fit it back into place, her fingers brushing along chipped paint.

Varian fretted over an unconscious Flynn Rider, checking for bleeding. “Oh? Oh, what- what am I gonna say?” he asked, his voice pitched with anxiety. “Maybe- maybe stop hitting _Flynn Rider_ with a frying pan?!”

“If he knows where the satchel is, I’ve got no leverage!” Rapunzel countered, standing up.

Varian finally stepped away from the chair with a huff. “Have you considered he might just tell you _willingly?”_ he asked, creasing his brows together.

Rapunzel sighed, walking back over to him. “You heard what Mother said! The outside world is cruel, and selfish, and so’s anyone who comes from it.” Her expression softened, and she put a hand on Varian’s shoulder. “We can’t take any chances.”

“Flynn Rider’s not like that,” Varian mumbled, rubbing his arm. “Besides, if he- if he didn’t have a concussion before, he’ll definitely have one now.”

Rapunzel winced. Maybe the frying pan had been too extreme. “It’s… it’s alright,” she said, “I’ll heal him.”

Varian’s eyes widened. “Really?”

“Yeah.” Rapunzel glanced over at Flynn’s unconscious form. He was slumped in the chair, his head lolling to the side, and she shook off a small twinge of guilt. “Anyways, we don’t want to sit around waiting for him to wake up again, right?”

“Right!” Varian said, looking relieved.

Smiling, Rapunzel turned to the chair. Hesitating only for a moment, she gathered up a bundle of her hair and gently pressed it to the back of Flynn’s head, her hand cradling his skull. Closing her eyes, she took a deep breath and began to sing.

_“Flower, gleam and glow_  
_let your power shine  
_ _make the clock reverse  
_ _bring back what once was mine.”_

Her voice echoed around the tower, golden light winding along her hair. The magic flowed warm and familiar, laced in each word and humming barely noticeable beneath her skin. As it seeped into Flynn’s body, Rapunzel felt rather than heard the gentle sigh he gave, his pain easing into contentment.

_“Heal what has been hurt_  
_change the fate’s design_  
_save what has been lost  
_ _bring back what once was mine_  
_what once was mine…”_

Rapunzel opened her eyes.

Flynn’s features had smoothed over, his gentle breathing fanning her neck. They were _close,_ she realized suddenly. Close enough for her to notice the trail of stubble lining his jaw and the fluttering of his eyelashes- _he was waking up._

With a small yelp of surprise, Rapunzel whirled away from the chair. Varian came to her side, giving her a curious look.

“It’s alright,” Rapunzel assured him quietly, putting a hand over her racing heart. Heat had crept into her cheeks, and she forced her breathing to calm. She couldn’t let herself get flustered- shaking her head, she grabbed up her frying pan and watched Flynn expectantly.

Flynn let out a soft groan, lifting his head slowly. It took him a second to focus on Rapunzel, his gaze wandering about the room as his brows creased together.

“Welcome back, Mr. Rider!” Varian offered cheerfully.

Rapunzel folded her arms, summoning a triumphant expression. _“Now_ it’s hidden where you’ll never find it,” she said.

Flynn blinked at them. “What?”

Rapunzel faltered. Right, he’d been unconscious- he wasn’t going to be able to just jump right back into the conversation. “Your satchel,” she said awkwardly. “I’ve… hidden it. Somewhere you’ll never find it.”

Recollection flashed in Flynn’s eyes, and he sighed wearily, edged with frustration. “Oh, right, _that._ Alright, what do you want? What’s it gonna take to get my satchel back?”

“I’m glad you asked.” Rapunzel recovered her bravado, leveling her frying pan at Flynn as she approached him. “First, why are you even here, hm? How’d you find us?” she asked suspiciously.

“Yeah!” Varian chimed in excitedly. “Are you- are you on some kind of adventure? Like a quest? Or- or a secret mission?” He frowned. “Oh, wait, you wouldn’t be able to tell us if it was a secret… forget that last part.”

Flynn raised an eyebrow at them. “It’s not like I was looking specifically for _you,_ okay? Look, I was being chased, I saw a tower, I climbed it. End of story.”

Rapunzel paused, scanning his face. Nothing in his expression betrayed dishonesty. “You’re… telling the truth?” she murmured, almost to herself.

 _“Yes,”_ Flynn insisted.

Rapunzel pursed her lips. “Hm.”

She hadn’t picked up on any bad intentions from Flynn. He really seemed to have stumbled upon them by mistake- so what reason did she have for distrusting him? Aside from, of course, the fact that he was from the outside world. But it wasn’t like she had anything to _lose_ by asking him.

Rapunzel exchanged a glance with Varian, who nodded encouragingly. “Alright,” she said finally. “Look this way.”

Rapunzel almost yanked Flynn’s chair around with her hair, but thought better of it at the last moment. Varian’s watchful gaze reminded her of her earlier… roughness with Flynn, and how it’d distressed Varian. So, she reconsidered her approach and instead pushed his chair into place, facing the mural she’d painted above the fireplace.

She reached up and tugged the curtains aside, glancing at Flynn over her shoulder. Hesitating, she licked her lips before she spoke.

“Do you know what these are?”

Flynn’s keen brown eyes swept over the mural, and Rapunzel held her breath. Her heart pounded in her ears. If he didn’t know, then she was out of luck. It was likely no one from the outside world would ever come across their tower again, and she knew for certain Mother wouldn’t say anything more on the matter. This was her only chance.

A moment passed, and then-

“You mean the lantern thing they do for the princess?” Flynn asked, unimpressed.

 _“Lanterns,”_ Rapunzel breathed.

The knowledge settled in her heart, right and true. It reassured what she’d known all along; they _were_ special, she wasn’t just inventing fantasies, chasing dreams where there weren’t any. What a spectacular thought, that once a year someone out there released what must be _hundreds_ of lanterns into the sky! How strange and beautiful! That such magic and light could exist even in a world of evil and darkness… it was truly inspiring.

At the same time, it was bittersweet- she’d never get to see them.

Rapunzel turned her gaze to the mural. “I _knew_ they weren’t stars.” Looking back at Flynn, she offered him a small smile. “Thank you.”

Flynn raised an eyebrow, studying her face. “Yeah,” he said finally, looking away. “Don’t mention it.”

Rapunzel sighed. Now, she supposed, it was time for Flynn to go. While she would have been perfectly content to pester him with questions about the outside world, every second he was here was just more opportunity for things to go wrong.

She had to say, she’d be sorry to see Flynn go. Or, at the very least, she was sad that she hadn’t made a friend in the only other person she’d ever met. He hadn’t been very agreeable, but in all fairness, he’d woken up tied to a chair after being bludgeoned with a frying pan. Rapunzel didn’t think she’d have been in a great mood, either. And he’d told her what she’d wanted to know- that was more than Mother had done.

Rapunzel immediately felt bad for the thought and pushed it away. Taking a deep breath, she walked back towards the chair. “Alright. I… guess this is-”

Varian suddenly took her by the arm. “H- hey, hey, Rapunzel, I have an idea!”

Rapunzel let Varian lead her out of earshot, turning their backs to Flynn to converse amongst themselves. “What is it?” she asked quietly, giving him a curious look.

Varian’s eyes flashed with excitement. “What if we asked him to take us?” he whispered. “To see the lanterns?”

Rapunzel jolted in surprise. “What?”

“Yeah!” Varian said eagerly. “Think about it- Mother’s gonna be gone for three days, that’s- that’s more than enough time to see them tomorrow night and get back. Flynn can be our guide- he knows what they are, he probably knows where to see them. And- and we won’t have to worry about anything that’s out there because we’ll be traveling with _Flynn Rider.”_

Rapunzel bit her lip, considering. Varian’s logic panned out, but there was still a great deal of uncertainty involved. So much could go wrong. They’d be disobeying Mother. “I don’t know-”

“Rapunzel, this might be your only chance to see them.” Varian’s expression had sobered. “Our only chance to get out there.”

Rapunzel studied his expression. Despite herself, hope began to flutter anew in her chest. “You sure you’ll be okay?” she asked hesitantly. “There’s no telling what we’ll run into.”

Varian gave her a wry smile. “Are you kidding? Going on an adventure with Flynn Rider? What could be better?”

“We… we can do this?” Rapunzel hardly dared to believe it.

Varian beamed at her. “We can do this!”

“You’re right!” Rapunzel decided, her own grin spreading across her face. Excitement churned in her stomach, and she took a steadying breath before turning back to Flynn. “Okay, Flynn Rider,” she said. “I am prepared to offer you a deal.”

Flynn frowned. “A deal?”

“Yes.” Rapunzel straightened her back. “Tomorrow evening, they will light the night sky with these lanterns. You will act as our guide, take us to see them, and return us home safely. Then, and only then, will I return your satchel to you. That is my deal.”

Flynn snorted. “Yeah, no can do. Unfortunately, the kingdom and I aren’t exactly simpatico at the moment, so I won’t be taking you anywhere,” he said matter-of-factly.

Rapunzel didn’t need to know what the word meant to catch his meaning. That did bring up some concerns, but she didn’t let herself get discouraged. If she and Varian could brave the dangers of the outside world, then Flynn could deal with whatever trouble he’d gotten himself into with the kingdom.

Narrowing her eyes, Rapunzel approached the chair. “Something brought you here, Flynn Rider,” she said lowly. “Call it what you will; fate, destiny…”

“A horse?” Flynn suggested, the corner of his mouth pulling up in a smirk.

Rapunzel came to a stop before him, her gaze hard. “So I have made the decision to trust you,” she said warningly, meaning every word of it.

“A horrible decision, really,” Flynn deadpanned.

Irritation ran hot through her veins- couldn’t he take this seriously? “But trust _me_ when I tell you this,” Rapunzel hissed. “You can tear this tower apart brick by brick. But without my help? You will never find your precious satchel.”

She hoped he couldn’t tell she was bluffing.

Flynn gave her a dubious look. “Lemme just get this straight. I take you guys to see the lanterns, bring you back home, and you’ll give me back my satchel?”

“I promise,” Rapunzel said.

Flynn looked at her like she’d said nothing at all, like the word had no meaning. Just empty breath. And that thought alone was enough to give Rapunzel pause; that Flynn came from a world without promises. Shaking off her unease, Rapunzel pressed on.

“And when I promise something, I never ever break that promise. _Ever.”_

Flynn held her gaze for a moment, unconvinced, before sighing. “Alright, listen, I didn’t want to have to this, but-”

“Please?” Varian’s tentative voice made them both look over. He bit his lip, his eyes shining. “It- it’d mean so much to us. We wouldn’t ask this of you if we had any other choice. And Rapunzel _always_ keeps her promises.”

Flynn hesitated, his gaze flicking back to Rapunzel. His expression changed, as if he were reconsidering something, and several emotions flashed in his eyes- irritation, defiance, realization, and finally, resignation.

“Fine!” Flynn huffed. “I’ll take you to see the lanterns.”

“Really?” Rapunzel gasped, forgetting her cool demeanor for the moment.

“Yes!” Varian cheered, pumping a fist in the air. “Road trip!”

“Yeah, yeah, I get it,” Flynn groused. “Now can you untie me, so we can just go already?”

“Sure.” Rapunzel nodded at Varian, who darted over to the window to throw the shutters open. She quickly leaned over to speak in Flynn’s ear.

“If you try to betray us,” Rapunzel murmured, “or do _anything_ to put Varian in danger, then your satchel will be the least of your worries.” She pulled away enough to meet his gaze. “That’s a promise,” she added, her voice deceptively soft.

It was hard to tell how much of a threat Flynn saw her as, but he seemed to realize she was serious, and would fulfill that promise to the best of her abilities. His eyes widened in surprise before a sort of understanding seemed to settle, and he nodded.

“Got it,” Flynn said quietly.

“Good.” Rapunzel stepped back all the way, giving Flynn a sweet smile. “Now, let’s get you out of my hair.”

~*~

Varian fidgeted with the hilt of his sword.

They’d both agreed to travel light, only bringing their weapons in case they had to defend themselves. Varian didn’t think it was likely, considering who they were traveling with- only _Flynn Rider,_ master warrior and adventurer- but it definitely couldn’t hurt to be cautious. And maybe he’d even get to be helpful!

Rapunzel had tied her frying pan around her waist with a belt of hair, a thick loop of it wound around the iron hook in preparation for their descent. She seemed hesitant, something that comforted Varian about his own trepidation.

“You coming, blondie?”

Flynn’s exasperated voice came from somewhere below. He’d already started his way down- freeclimbing with a couple of arrows, which was _awesome-_ but all of a sudden, the idea of following him wasn’t such an inviting prospect. Varian leaned over the balcony, peering cautiously at the ground below. Had it always been that far down?

“Are you okay?” Rapunzel asked quietly. 

Varian exhaled slowly. “I- I think I’m afraid of heights.” He laughed nervously. “How does that make any sense? I’ve lived in a- in a _tower_ my whole life and I’m afraid of _heights!”_

Rapunzel’s expression softened. “Hey. If it’s too much, we don’t have to do this,” she said, putting a hand on his shoulder. “But I’ll be right here with you the whole time, and I won’t let anything happen to you. Okay?”

“Okay.” Varian nodded, biting his lip. “I can do this. I _want_ to do this.”

“Alright.” Rapunzel squeezed his shoulder. “Ready?”

Varian managed a crooked grin. “As ready as I’ll ever be.”

Smiling, Rapunzel pulled him close, and Varian put his arms around her neck, holding tight. She gave him a last reassuring look, her grip on her hair tightening.

“Hold on!”

With that, Rapunzel plunged them off the edge of the balcony. Varian’s stomach lurched, and he couldn’t even find his voice to scream as they plummeted towards the ground, Rapunzel shrieking with laughter. He squeezed his eyes shut, hiding his face in Rapunzel’s shoulder as he waited for the landing-

They came to an abrupt stop, the world still swaying around him. Were they dead? They’d died, hadn’t they, just splattered on the ground below, and Varian figured that was as poetic a death as any; to die before they’d even set a single foot outside. Slowly, he cracked an eye open, his heart pounding in his ears.

Rapunzel held them just above the ground, clinging to her hair. Her eyes were wide, staring at the grassy ground beneath them. He could just hear her heartbeat over his own, and he waited to see what she would do.

Rapunzel stretched a hesitant foot out, gingerly lowering them to the ground. Varian stepped away with a shaky breath, his earlier terror all but forgotten.

The grass tickled against thick callouses he’d developed over the years, and the ground beneath his feet was unsteady, loose and shifting soil giving way beneath his weight so slightly it was only noticeable because he’d never experienced it before. The tower was all solid and level floors, and the dips in the wooden steps and curves of the stones in his lab were well-memorized and familiar- but this was an entirely new sensation, the wild and natural world reacting in ways he couldn’t even begin to predict. The realization was startling and terrifying and exhilarating all at once and he was torn between feeling nauseous and never wanting it to end.

He tilted his head up. The late morning sun bore down on him, and he marveled at the strength of its rays, the way it shone on his pale skin. It was almost uncomfortably warm, but at the same time, it was the best thing he’d ever felt.Beside him, Rapunzel laughed; a breathless sound almost dizzy with elation. Varian answered in kind, breaking into a huge grin, and they were off.

Rapunzel immediately dropped of the ground and stretched out along the grass. Varian turned a tight circle around himself, trying to look at everything at once.

A gentle breeze played with his hair, carrying him new scents that were fresh and earthy and light. The sheer cliffs lining the valley were staggeringly high, higher than they’d ever looked from the window. Grass and dirt and wind and sky and sun and clouds-

His senses were overstimulated, struggling to take in all the new textures and smells and sounds. It was almost too much- overwhelming in the best kind of way. He felt like a chemical reaction that would never reach equilibrium, an endless source of energy bubbling in his stomach that mirrored the laughter in his throat. Electricity hummed in his veins, and he found himself struck motionless from the intensity of it.

Rapunzel broke the spell, grabbing Varian by the hand and pulling him forward, into the small lake beside the tower. The cold of the water drew a shocked gasp from him. For a moment, he simply processed the feeling of running water swirling about his ankles, the muddy riverbank beneath his feet, before scooping up a handful of water and splashing it at Rapunzel.

With a surprised shout, Rapunzel retaliated, and the air was filled with their laughter and the sound of splashing water, ringing off the valley walls. Rapunzel looked the way Varian suspected he did; cheeks flushed with excitement and eyes alight with wonder. Breathless, Varian finally seceded the water fight, simply dipping his gloves into the lake and feeling the water seep through the leather. Sighing contentedly, his gaze wandered about the valley, briefly tracking a small flock of birds as they darted through the air.

Varian’s eyes locked on the cave at the edge of the valley, the small opening Mother disappeared through every day. Rapunzel followed his gaze, and he could tell the exact same thought ran through her mind before they both moved.

Varian bolted, Rapunzel quickly gaining on him with her hair streaking behind her. The _feel_ of it- his feet thudding against the earth and his heart pounding from the exertion and his breath coming in short bursts- he’d never been able to just _run_ before, without fear of hitting the walls within a few strides, and the burn in his legs and his chest was amazing.

The stone walls narrowed into a short tunnel, funneling them towards the gaping mouth of the cave and through a thick curtain of ivy. They burst out from the cave together, and Varian’s vision was filled with green.

There were trees everywhere he looked, sturdy brown trunks stretching into a canopy of lush foliage. It was an old forest, the thickness of some of the trees indicating their age. The ground was covered in tall grass and peppered with colorful clusters of wildflowers, the earth curving along with mossy boulders and rotting fallen trees.

“I can’t believe we did this,” Rapunzel murmured beside him. She grabbed his arm. “I can’t _believe_ we _did this!”_ she exclaimed, her voice awestruck and delighted and _alive._

 _“I_ can’t believe we did this!” Varian echoed back with a giddy laugh.

There was a massive tree right in front them, with branches that seemed to sprawl for miles. Varian glanced at Rapunzel and grinned.

“First one to the top wins!”

~*~

By the time Flynn caught up to the siblings, they were already halfway up an enormous oak.

He leaned against the tree’s smooth bark, catching his breath as he listened to snapping branches, rustling leaves, and breathless laughter. What on earth had _that_ been about? You would’ve thought they’d never been outside before, from how they were acting. They hadn’t even bothered to put shoes on before Rapunzel had _launched_ them out the window. They _seriously_ needed to get out more…

Chewing his lip, Flynn squinted up at the sky, barely visible through the canopy. It was still early in the day. If he could convince them to go back to the tower and give his satchel back, he could be in the next province with the crown before sundown. And from there on, it was as simple a matter as pawning it off before the king’s goons could catch him and then he’d be set.

He was _so close._ And it was just his luck to get stuck with a pair of over-excitable siblings who wanted to drag him sight-seeing over the whole kingdom. Holding his hard-won prize hostage… he’d gotten shot at, fought a horse, and plunged off a cliff for that crown! 

Flynn frowned up at the tree. “Would you come down from there before you hurt yourselves?” he asked, not caring enough to keep the irritation from his voice.

Varian’s voice floated back down, shaky with nerves. “I’d- I’d love to, Mr. Rider, but I’ve- I think I’ve run into a problem.”

Through the leaves, Flynn could just make out Varian several feet above him, clinging to a thick branch with his arms and legs.

“It, uh, it didn’t look so high from the ground!” he squeaked out. “I d- don’t think I can move.”

Of course. Flynn dragged his hand down his face before huffing a sigh. “Fine,” he said, reaching for the nearest branch, “hang tight, kid, I’ll be right-”

Rapunzel came swinging down from the top of the tree, using her long hair like a rope. She landed deftly on the branch, scooped Varian up with one arm, and jumped back into the air, carrying them both safely to the ground.

Rapunzel landed beside Flynn, and immediately started looking Varian over, her hands on his shoulders. “Are you okay? What happened, are you hurt?”

Varian’s hands came up to curl around Rapunzel’s wrists. “I’m fine, Rapunzel, I just uh, f- forgot about the heights thing.” He ducked his head, embarrassed. “I’m sorry.”

Rapunzel bit her lip, her eyes flashing with concern. “Maybe this wasn’t a good idea...”

“No, Rapunzel, I’m okay, I promise,” Varian said earnestly. “I’ll be- I’ll be more careful from now on.”

Rapunzel studied him for a moment. “Alright,” she relented, pulling him into a hug. “But if it ever starts to feel like too much, you tell me, okay?”

“Okay,” Varian agreed.

Flynn cleared his throat. “Now that we’ve worked _that_ out,” he said, rubbing his temples, “can we get moving already?” The sibling affection was just absolutely _heartwarming,_ truly, but he had a deal to fulfill, with the biggest score of his life depending on it.

Rapunzel glanced over at Flynn like she’d just remembered he was there. “Right. Of course. Um… lead the way.”

 _“Thank you,”_ Flynn drawled, brushing past the siblings. “Maybe we can actually get a few yards covered before nightfall.”

In retrospect, he should’ve known better than to wish aloud like that. What followed next was far above Flynn’s pay grade- which, to be fair, was nothing. He could tell instantly that Rapunzel and Varian were rule followers; they were pretty conflicted about the whole thing. Which would’ve been _great,_ personally, for Flynn, if they didn’t keep talking each other back into it.

They almost seemed to fall into a system; when one sibling was having doubts, the other was on cloud nine, their boundless positivity reassuring the other until they switched. Flynn would’ve marveled at their synchronicity if he weren’t so irritated.

The rest of the morning passed something like this;

Varian abruptly stopped wading in the little pond they’d found. “Mother would be so furious,” he whispered, his face pale.

Rapunzel looked over, lowering the lily pad she’d been admiring. “Well, yes…” she admitted, her shoulders creeping into a shrug. “But that’s okay, I mean, what she doesn’t know won’t kill her, right?”

~*~

Rapunzel rocked back and forth in a dark cave, filled with the echoes of water dripping on stone. “Oh my gosh, this would _kill_ her.”

Varian glanced over from where he was trying to collect stalactite samples. “It’s okay, she’s not gonna find out!” he said, rushing to her side with a determined smile. “There’s no _way_ she could find out!”

~*~

“She’s gonna find out,” Varian murmured, his voice full of dread. “She’s gonna find out, she’s gonna come home for some reason and we won’t be there and then she’ll _know_ and- and we’ll get in so much trouble-”

“Hey, hey, don’t worry,” Rapunzel said soothingly, picking leaves from Varian’s hair. The remains of the leaf pile they’d constructed and jumped into lay scattered about the forest floor. “She won’t. And I’m not gonna let you get in trouble, okay? If it comes to it, _I’m_ the one who wanted to see the lanterns anyways, so she can be mad at me.”

“That’s not any better,” Varian protested.

“Well, doesn’t matter, ‘cause it’s not going to happen.” Rapunzel ruffled his hair. “We’ve totally got this, okay? It’s going to be amazing, and everything’s gonna go just fine, and we’ll be so glad we did it.” She gave him a reassuring smile. “You’ll see.”

~*~

“I shouldn’t have done this.” Rapunzel fidgeted with the flower stems in her hands. “I should’ve just let it go- Mother’s right, I’m… I’m being selfish.”

“That’s not true,” Varian said gently, putting his finished daisy crown on her head. “It’s- it’s okay to want this for yourself, you know?”

“Yeah?” Rapunzel bit her lip. “I’m just… worried this was all a big mistake.”

Varian took her hand and gave it a light squeeze. “It’s not.”

~*~

“This was a m- mistake.” Varian hid his face in Rapunzel’s shoulder, his voice choked with tears. “I- I shouldn’t have come with y- you.”

“Shh…” Rapunzel stroked Varian’s hair, both perched carefully on a low-hanging branch of a tree. “I’m glad you’re here.”

“I w- wanna be glad t- too, but it- but it feels _wrong,”_ Varian hiccupped. “I’m- there was no reason f- for me to come, I’m j- just being bad-”

“Hey, if you’re bad, then _I’m_ bad,” Rapunzel said softly. “And besides, think about everything we’ve already seen and done so far! Don’t you think it’s worth it?”

Varian took a shuddering breath. “I… I don’t know.”

Rapunzel’s expression grew determined. “Well, I do.”

~*~

“This is _so fun!”_ Flurries of soft dandelions were sent into the air as Rapunzel tumbled down the hill, her grin visible even from this distance. “Come on, Varian, try it!” she called encouragingly.

Varian sniffed, wiping the last of the tears from his face and giving the hill a considering look. Curiosity sparked in his eyes, and he took a deep breath before taking a leap of faith.

~*~

Laughter rang out as Rapunzel and Varian whirled around the tree, Rapunzel’s hair acting as a makeshift swing.

“Best day ever!” they cheered.

Through all this, Flynn barely got a word in. He learned quickly that trying to efficiently wrangle these two was a fool’s errand. When Varian wasn’t a stuttering mess, he was a chatterbox with a million questions, racing back and forth to try and study everything he came across. When Rapunzel wasn’t stricken with doubt, she was a beacon of almost child-like wonder, delighting in even the simplest of things.

But finally, an opportunity- a moment where both Rapunzel and Varian seemed distraught, at the same time. Rapunzel was curled up against an outcropping of rocks, crying softly into her hands, while Varian consoled her. But, unlike all the other times, Varian himself looked on the verge of tears, unable to offer any reassurances save for a hand on Rapunzel’s shoulder.

Flynn realized this was the first time Rapunzel had actually shed tears over the dilemma, and the sight seemed to make Varian stop cold. This… could be useful. Maybe he wouldn’t have to go through with this inane quest after all.

Okay, choose your words carefully, Rider. Build up to it.

Flynn crouched down beside them, clearing his throat. “You know,” he started calmly, “I can’t help but notice you guys seem a bit… conflicted.”

Rapunzel looked up at him, her eyes filled with tears. He had both their attention now.

“Now, I’m only picking up bits and pieces, of course.” Flynn straightened up, leaning against the boulder and faking nonchalance. “Overprotective mother, forbidden road trip, I mean, this is serious stuff. But let me ease your consciences.” He gave them a knowing smile. “This is a part of growing up. A little rebellion, a little adventure, that’s good- healthy, even.”

Rapunzel wiped her eyes, managing a watery smile. “You think?” she asked hopefully.

“I _know,”_ Flynn said, putting his hand over his heart. “You’re way overthinking this, trust me- does your mother deserve it? No. Would it break her heart and crush her soul? _Of course._ But you _just_ got to do it.”

Rapunzel’s eyes went wide with horror, and Flynn pushed down a twinge of guilt. “Break her heart?” she asked, sounding heartbroken herself. “I… I don’t want to break her heart, I just-” 

“H- hey! Why would you say that?”

Varian’s voice startled Flynn, both in its abruptness and intensity. He was giving Flynn a look that managed to be indignant, in spite of the shock and the hurt. “Rapunzel would _never_ do anything like that,” he protested. “She’s the kindest, most loving person there is-”

“Woah, don’t get all worked up, kid,” Flynn said quickly, putting his hands up. “I wasn’t trying to imply-”

“She’s not d- doing anything wrong!” Varian continued, heedless. “All she wants is to- is to see the lanterns, o- okay?”

With no short amount of surprise, Flynn realized Varian was trembling. Weirdest part was it wasn’t from anger. He looked scared, like _he_ was the one being scolded instead of vice versa. The very act of defending his sister to Flynn seemed to cause him great distress, but he did it anyway. _Good lord,_ someone needed to remind Flynn to never try this again...

“It’s alright, Varian,” Rapunzel assured him, putting a hand on his shoulder. She leveled her gaze at Flynn. “I know there’s nothing wrong with that.”

Flynn could feel his opportunity slipping away. “Look, all I meant to say was that maybe you should reconsider-”

 _“No,”_ Rapunzel cut in. “No, I am seeing those lanterns!” Her resolve had returned, Flynn could tell. He saw it in the set of her jaw, the tilt of her chin. And the way she gripped the frying pan at her hip was a pretty good indication, too.

Flynn grit his teeth. Damn it, there went his chance. Thanks a lot, kid. He’d have to get creative if he was gonna convince the pair to give up on the whole endeavor, now-

There was a rustling in a clump of bushes, making all three of them startle.

Quick as a flash, Rapunzel slipped behind Flynn, pushing Varian behind her even as he drew his sword. Her fingers dug into Flynn’s shoulder, her alarmed voice in his ear.

“What is it?” she whispered fearfully. “Ruffians? Thugs? Have they come for us?”

A rabbit hopped out from the bush. Coincidentally, one of the most ridiculously adorable rabbits Flynn had ever seen. Oh, something up there had a _fantastic_ sense of humor.

He couldn’t resist. “Stay calm,” he murmured. “It can probably smell fear.”

Behind him, Varian gasped. “Woah, look at this little guy!” he cooed, dropping to his knees to invite the rabbit closer.

“Oh.” Rapunzel stepped out from behind Flynn, looking sheepish. “Well… better safe than sorry, right?” She tried to play it off, failed miserably, realized she had failed miserably, and sighed. “…. okay, so I guess I’m a little… jumpy,” she admitted with a rueful smile.

Flynn snorted at that. Jumpy. Rabbit. “Probably best to avoid ruffians and thugs though,” he said, amused.

“Yeah, that’d… probably be best,” Rapunzel agreed, gazing fondly at Varian as he fawned over the rabbit.

Flynn was about to suggest they get moving again when a thought struck him. Ruffians, thugs- he knew ruffians and thugs! _And_ he knew where to find them in _spades._ Suddenly, he had an idea. A wonderful, foolproof, _get-me-out-of-this-crazy-deal_ idea.

“Are you hungry?” Flynn asked, a bit too enthusiastically. “Because I know a _great_ place for lunch.”

Rapunzel gave him a funny look, glancing around the forest like there might be a building hidden among the trees. “Uh… where?”

Flynn’s smile widened.

“Oh, don’t you worry. You’ll know it when you smell it.”

~*~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: I got the idea of Rapunzel healing Flynn in that scene from my sis, thecrocodilewrites. It just makes sense. He ain't getting far with a concussion, lmao. And I just wanna give a heads up, I likely won't be doing a Gothel POV until the very end of the movie. Essentially, her role is the same, it'd be just like watching the movie with Varian mentioned. It's not big enough of a change for me to focus on. (For now, at least. Things will get... interesting, later on...)
> 
> Also, Flynn was totally gonna do the smolder, but it was too awkward with Varian there. - Aqua


	20. dancing and dreaming

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Title: _dancing and dreaming_  
>  Rating: G  
> Warnings: cartoonish violence  
> Summary: Rapunzel's suspicions are confirmed when 'a great place for lunch' turns out to be a real bad idea- and then it isn't. Who'd have guessed ruffians were partial to singing?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Hi readers! I'm honestly surprised I managed to get an update out during finals week, but your continued support really motivates me to write! Please continue leaving feedback, I appreciate every single comment. In other news, writing musical-style songs into fic is _super hard_ , I'm real glad I won't be doing that again. Hopefully you all enjoy it! - Aqua

__

_dancing and dreaming_

~*~

Rapunzel wasn’t so sure about this.

Flynn seemed to know where he was going, but there’d been nothing but forest on either side of the dirt road they’d found for a while, now, and the foliage gave no signs of letting up anytime soon. In fact, it was all they’d seen since leaving the tower, and it was hard to comprehend that a forest could be so _big._

Rapunzel was starting to see why no one had ever found her and Varian before; she’d always figured civilization had to be close by, seeing as how Mother was able to make her day trips. The road was another sign. But with a forest so dense, it must be near impossible to find your way off the road without knowing for certain where you were going.

Varian occasionally strayed to the edges of the road to examine a new mushroom or bug, running an erratic orbit around her and Flynn’s steady pace. Rapunzel kept a keen eye on him, and their surroundings; Flynn didn’t seem bothered in the slightest, but she didn’t want to be taken by surprise.

“Come on, Varian, don’t get too far behind,” Rapunzel called over her shoulder.

Varian straightened up from the clump of weeds he’d been inspecting, dusting off his gloves and jogging to catch up to them. He fell into step beside Rapunzel. “Sorry! Do you- do you think we’re close, Mr. Rider?” he asked.

“Hmm... maybe, kid. I know it’s around here _somewhere…”_ Flynn drawled. He turned down a fork in the road. “Ah, _there_ it is, The Snuggly Duckling!”

It was a lopsided little building, nestled in the crook of an enormous oak tree. A few branches had overtaken the structure, poking through the tiled roof and curling through broken windows. All the wooden framings were covered in fading paint, moss and leaves littering the shingles. A dirt path led to the front steps, several horses tied out front and left to graze and drink from the water troughs. The tavern had clearly seen better days, but it was the exact right amount of wear that made it seem _lived in,_ rather than completely run-down.

“Don’t worry, very quaint place, _perfect_ for you two,” Flynn assured them. “Don’t want you scaring and giving up on this whole endeavor, now do we?”

Rapunzel squinted at him, trying to decipher his tone of voice. Mother sometimes spoke like that, her words contradicting her real meaning. “Well… I do like ducklings,” she relented finally.

 _“Yay,”_ Flynn cheered quietly.

Before Rapunzel could figure out if he was mocking her or not, Varian gasped. “Look!” He’d spotted the horses out front, his mouth hanging open. “Horses! I’m gonna go get a closer look!”

“Be careful!” Rapunzel called, as Varian ran on ahead. “Don’t startle them! And watch their hooves,” she added, concerned for his bare feet.

Varian made a wordless sound of assent, but he did drop down to a walk as he approached the horses, his posture small and unthreatening. After a curious glance, the horses went back to their business, allowing Varian to run a gloved hand along their fur. Even from that distance, Rapunzel could see the wonder on his face, and a fond smile tugged at her lips.

“You’re real protective of him, huh?” Flynn’s voice was almost amused, like it was a novel thought to be concerned for someone else.

Rapunzel bristled. “Well… yeah. Why wouldn’t I be? He's my brother. And this is completely uncharted territory, there’s no telling what we could run into.”

“If you’re _that_ worried, then why go at all?” Flynn asked.

Rapunzel gave him a side-long glance. “Because Varian trusts you to keep us safe, and I trust him.”

That seemed to take him aback. Flynn’s eyes flicked up at the tavern before back to Rapunzel. An unreadable emotion crossed his features, and he almost seemed to hesitate, his steps faltering. But then he blinked, and it was gone, that annoyingly cocky grin of his taking its place.

“Well, then I promise to-”

“Don’t,” Rapunzel said.

Flynn frowned at her. “What?”

Swallowing, Rapunzel glanced away. “Don’t… make a promise unless you really mean it,” she said quietly. “They aren’t to be taken lightly.”

Flynn put his hands up. “Jeeze, okay, fine… you always this intense, Blondie?”

Rapunzel gave him a dry look. “Rapunzel,” she corrected.

“Gesundheit,” Flynn shot back, a playful smirk pulling at his mouth.

Rapunzel didn’t get the joke behind it, but it suddenly didn’t matter as they approached the front steps of the tavern. There were _people_ inside, probably a whole bunch of them, and Rapunzel couldn’t tell if the thought excited or terrified her. It… wasn’t a big deal, they were just going in to have a meal- normal people doing normal things. Not a problem.

Rapunzel waved Varian over to them. “Stay close, alright?” she said quietly, as Flynn went for the door.

Varian nodded, the slightest bit of apprehension crossing his face as he hopped up the last step.

With a quick glance over his shoulder to check they were both present, Flynn threw the door open with gusto. “Garcon! Your finest table, please!”

Rapunzel’s stomach dropped.

The dark, musty building was filled to the brim with men. Men of all shapes and sizes, with cruel, beady eyes and grimy teeth. Outfits of studded leather and rusted armor, muscular arms peppered with discolored scars, and weapons at every hip and shoulder. Misshapen faces twisted into sneers at their arrival, and Rapunzel knew instinctively that _this_ was what Mother had meant by ruffians and thugs.

She immediately pulled Varian close, one arm wrapped around him protectively while the other brandished her frying pan.

“You smell that?” Flynn’s voice hovered by her ear, his hands on her shoulders guiding her forward, into the tavern. “Take a deep breath through the nose, really let that seep in. What are you getting? Because to me, it’s part man smell, and the other part is _really_ bad man smell. I don’t know why, but overall it just smells like the color brown. Your thoughts?”

Before Rapunzel could even think about responding, her head was abruptly yanked back. Whirling around, she caught sight of her hair in the hands of one of the ruffians- he had a knife in his belt, easily within reach- and her heartrate skyrocketed. Snatching up her hair, she retreated further into the building, snippets of conversation following after her.

“That’s a _lot_ of hair.”

“She’s growing it out. Is that blood in your mustache?” Flynn sounded positively delighted. “Goldie, look at this! Look at all the blood in his mustache! Good sir, that’s a _lot_ of blood!”

Rapunzel’s breath was coming in short bursts, her grip on the frying pan so tight her knuckles were white. She was almost dizzy from trying to keep track of every little movement around them, everything a potential threat.

Varian was pressed to her side, almost shaking from how tense he was. He made no sound, one hand locked around the hilt of his sword and the other gripping her arm for dear life.

Rapunzel wouldn’t say they’d been in many situations where true fight or flight reflexes had come into play, but those instincts were just a part of their nature and often arose in any type of stress. Personally, she was more flighty than confrontational, but she knew she had the tendency to lash out if she’d been taken by surprise (it had never come to blows, thankfully, because she’d been able to instantly recognize whoever had startled her).

Varian, however, was the lesser known third option; freeze. Always had been. He’d almost go into a trance, eyes wide and glassy, and become unresponsive. It’d take Rapunzel a while to get him to snap out of it. While normally, that wouldn’t be much of a problem, right now it meant he wouldn’t be able to defend himself if something happened.

They had to get out of there.

Flynn meandered over to them, calm as could be, with a thoughtful look on his face. “Hey, Blondie, you two don’t look so good. Maybe we should get you guys home, call it a day.”

Flynn gently took Rapunzel by the arm, walking her and Varian back to the front door. It took her a second to register what he was saying, and with it came the realization that he’d deliberately brought them there to try and scare them off the journey, to get them to give up and return his satchel. Indignation beat dully at the back of her skull- the _nerve_ of him, trying to get out of their deal- but she couldn’t even care to get angry at him. Her only concern was getting her and Varian _anywhere_ but there.

“Probably better off,” Flynn continued, reaching for the front door, “this _is_ a five-star joint after all, and if you can’t handle _this_ place, well, maybe you should be back in your tower-”

The door slammed shut, making Rapunzel jump, and she felt Varian recoil into her side.

The largest of the gathered ruffians glared down at them, his thick, calloused hand pressed against the door. “Is this you?” he asked in a booming voice, pointing to a piece of paper stuck to the door.

It took Rapunzel a second to realize what exactly it was. The paper had an illustration that was recognizable as Flynn, despite a grossly inaccurate nose. But his name was there, with the word _‘wanted’_ written in large letters beneath it. A wanted poster.

Rapunzel had suspected from the start that Flynn was mixed up in some trouble, due to his secrecy, the odd expensive-looking trinket in his satchel, and his reluctance to be near the kingdom, but she hadn’t thought it’d be bad enough to grant him a wanted poster. That meant he was being actively hunted and had a bounty on his head. The thought sent a chill down her spine.

Despite the tension, Flynn sighed at the poorly drawn nose. “Ugh. Now they’re just being mean.”

“Oh, it’s him alright,” a bald man spoke up, grinning fiercely. He grabbed Flynn by the collar of his shirt before calling over his shoulder, “Gretto, go find some guards. That reward’s gonna buy me a new hook,” he leered, poking a shiny, metal hook for a hand beneath Flynn’s chin.

Before he or Rapunzel could protest, another thug snatched Flynn away. _“I_ could use the money!”

“What about me?” a helmeted man demanded, yanking Flynn by the arm. “I’m broke!”

The tavern descended into chaos, angry shouts filling the air as every man tried to get ahold of Flynn. He disappeared into a huddle of leather and writhing limbs, his voice barely audible over the din as he tried valiantly to talk his way out of it.

“Hey, hey, guys, please! We can work this out!” he was insisting in vain, his attempts falling on deaf ears.

Panic swelled in Rapunzel’s chest. She could see it all; if Flynn wasn’t torn apart by the over-eager ruffians, he’d be arrested, and in either case that left her and Varian hanging high and dry. Even if the thugs didn’t turn on them, they’d be in serious trouble. Lost and alone, finding their way home would be near impossible, not to mention finding the lanterns. Everything she’d done would be for nothing, and Varian would be in danger. She couldn’t let it happen.

Rapunzel pulled Varian a safe distance away before loosing his hand from her arm. “Stay here. I’ll be right back, okay?” She didn’t know if the words registered for him, but when she turned back to the mob, Varian didn’t follow.

“Hey!” Rapunzel demanded. “Leave him alone!” She struggled to be heard above the noise, tugging uselessly on the thick arm of the nearest ruffian. Even her frying pan did no good, glancing harmlessly off armored backs and shields as she tried to get their attention. “Give me back my guide!”

It was no use; she might as well have been trying to break through a mountain. Frantically, she looked around for anything she could use to get their attention- if she only had a chance to _explain,_ she was sure they’d reconsider. Her gaze fell on a tree branch poking through the seam of the wall and ceiling, long and sturdy and positioned just above the angry crowd. Between all of them, they’d managed to restrain Flynn as the hook-handed thug wound up for a good punch.

Flynn struggled to get free, wincing in anticipation of the blow. “Not the nose! Not the nose!”

Rapunzel gathered up a lock of her hair and lassoed the branch with practiced aim through one of the ceiling beams, like she’d done with the rafters of the tower a million times. Adjusting her grip, she pulled with all her might, drawing the thick branch higher and higher until she was shaking from the tension- before letting it fly.

The branch snapped down onto the hooked thug’s head with an ear-splitting _crack,_ the blow reverberating through his body. The whole tavern fell silent, and Rapunzel planted her foot, squared her shoulders, and _yelled._

“Put him _down!”_

~*~

The world seemed to freeze, and Varian’s head snapped up at Rapunzel’s voice.

He’d never heard her yell before. She’d raised her voice, if she was calling to him from upstairs or if they were playing around, but she’d never yelled like _that._ The shock was enough to bring him crashing back down to himself, his breath catching in his throat. Rapunzel was facing down the mob of ruffians _alone,_ clutching her frying pan in front of her. Varian wanted to go to her side, but it was like his body was still frozen up, and he couldn’t even call out to her.

The hook-handed man’s head whipped around, looking not at all hurt by the blow, but _furious._

Rapunzel flinched at the look, but quickly steeled herself. “Okay, listen,” she began nervously, “I don’t know where I am, and I need _him_ to take us to see the lanterns because I’ve been _dreaming_ about them my entire _life!_ Find your _humanity!”_ she pleaded. “Haven’t any of you ever had a dream?”

The hooked man’s expression didn’t change. Disregarding Flynn for the moment, who was pinned to the wall by the back of his shirt, he reached for the axe strapped across his back and turned to face them.

Rapunzel backed up, pushing Varian behind her as the man advanced.

Varian’s feet moved automatically, scrambling backwards until his back hit the bar top. There was nowhere to go, the man bearing down on them. The axe gleamed dangerously in his hand, and Varian’s stomach lurched. What good would his sword be against a man like that? What good could _either_ of them do? They were trapped and outmatched and Flynn couldn’t help them and there was nothing they could do-

No. He did have a way to defend them. The sudden realization turned his blood to ice and a million conflicting thoughts ran through his head but he didn’t have time to listen to them, because the man had his axe leveled at Rapunzel’s chin. Varian let go of his sheathed sword and reached for his glove, his heart pounding and the deadly words on the tip of his tongue-

“I had a dream, once.”

The deep voice had a mournful tone to it, the man’s hard eyes having softened into a wistful expression. Varian blinked up at him, sensing Rapunzel was equally bewildered. Before either of them could venture to comment on the abrupt turn of events, the man hefted his axe up and threw it across the room.

The blade soared through the air before embedding itself into the wall with a loud thud, just above a young man perched on a stool in the corner. He startled at the blow and began to work the machine in his hands, and to Varian’s confusion, music filled the air. It was a thin, reedy sound- compressed air rushing through wood, Varian realized- and it was absurdly out of place in the dark, seedy tavern.

The man got a strange glint to his eyes, opened his mouth, and started to sing.

_“I'm malicious, mean, and scary,_  
_my sneer could curdle dairy,_  
_and violence-wise, my hands are not the cleanest._  
_But despite my evil look,_  
_and my temper, and my hook,  
_ _I've always yearned to be a concert pianist.”_

Brandishing his hook, the man set upon a weathered grand piano tucked into the corner of the tavern. His boisterous voice rang out without a care, accompanied by upbeat, jaunty notes of the piano.

Varian exchanged a look with Rapunzel, her surprised delight mirroring his own. The tension in the air had completely dissipated, and Varian felt himself relax, dropping his hand from his glove with no short amount of relief. Together, they settled in to listen to the man’s song, growing more and more enraptured as the performance went on. The rest of the tavern patrons even joined in, the cacophony of voices shaking the floorboards.

_“Can'tcha see me on the stage performin' Mozart?_  
_Ticklin' the ivories 'til they gleam?_  
_Yep, I'd rather be called deadly,_  
_for my killer show-tune medley._  
_Thank you!_  
_'Cause way down deep inside,_  
_I've got a dream.”_

_“He's got a dream!  
He's got a dream!”_

_“See, I ain't as cruel and vicious as I seem!_  
_Though I do like breaking femurs,_  
_you can count me with the dreamers._  
_Like everybody else,  
_ _I've got a dream!”_

The next ruffian to take the stage was a younger man with a red, splotchy face and a prominent nose. His thick voice wasn’t very polished, but it was filled with a passion that was almost infectious.

_“I've got scars and lumps and bruises,_  
_plus something here that oozes._  
_And let's not even mention my complexion._  
_But despite my extra toes,_  
_and my goiter, and my nose,_  
_I really want to make a love connection._  
_Can't you see me with a special little lady?_  
_Rowin' in a rowboat down the stream?_  
_Though I'm one disgusting blighter,_  
_I'm a lover, not a fighter!_  
_'Cause way down deep inside,_  
_I've got a dream!”_

_"He's got a dream!  
He's got a dream!"_

_“And I know one day romance will reign supreme!_  
_Though my face leaves people screaming,_  
_there's a child behind it, dreaming._  
_Like everybody else,_  
_I've got a dream!"_

One by one, the ruffians started chiming in, each sharing their particular ambition and even providing demonstrations. Varian was filled with wonder at how… _normal_ it all seemed, even if an interest was unique or bizarre. It was incredibly humanizing, listening to these men pour their hearts out and realizing that beneath their rusted armor and battle scars, they were just people with hopes and dreams.

It was also an illuminating sight. Here were these tough, grizzled men- the epitome of masculinity- proudly professing their interests in baking and sewing… Mother had never flat out told Varian he didn’t act like a ‘proper boy’ but he was good at reading her meanings. He knew she thought he was too feminine, which was why he’d done his best to change his behavior around her. But looking around himself now, Varian couldn’t help but think that maybe… _he_ wasn’t the problem.

(He wouldn’t _dare_ suggest it to Mother, or even say it out loud, but the knowledge curled around his heart in a comforting way. Just because he and Rapunzel shared a lot of the same interests didn’t make Varian any less of a boy.)

_“Tor would like to quit and be a florist,_  
_Gunther does interior design,_  
_Ulf is into mime,_  
_Attila's cupcakes are sublime!_  
_Bruiser knits,_  
_Killer sews,_  
_Fang does little puppet shows,_  
_and Vladimir collects ceramic unicorns.”_

There was a lull in the music, and suddenly all eyes were on Flynn, who’d been watching with a mixture of disbelief and annoyance.

“What about you?” one of the thugs asked, glaring at him suspiciously.

Flynn blinked. “I’m sorry, what?”

“Yeah, what’s _your_ dream?” another demanded, pulling Flynn down.

Flynn snorted, folding his arms. “Sorry, boys; I don’t sing.”

In the blink of an eye, more than a dozen swords bristled at Flynn. To his credit, he didn’t so much as flinch, but the intent behind the gesture was genuine. Varian jumped to his feet in alarm, stopping when Rapunzel grabbed his hand.

“Wait,” she whispered. “Look.”

Flynn threw his hands up. “Fine! I warn you, I didn’t prepare anything like you all so _clearly_ have, so don’t expect it to be good,” he snarked, climbing up on the raised platform that was acting as a stage.

The music started up again, and Flynn briefly looked skyward, as if sending up a prayer, before opening his mouth.

_“I have dreams, like you - no, really!_  
_Just much less… touchy-feely._  
_They mainly happen somewhere warm and sunny._  
_On an island that I own,_  
_tanned and rested and alone,  
_ _surrounded by enormous piles of money.”_

Varian’s jaw dropped. He’d had no idea Flynn Rider could _sing._ It was one of his and Rapunzel’s favorite things, and he couldn’t believe his hero did it, too. Varian cheered along with the others, turning to see what Rapunzel thought of it, but she was gone- climbing up onto one of the tables. Eyes bright and practically bursting with excitement, she took a deep breath and started to sing.

_“I’ve got a dream! I’ve got a dream!_  
_I just wanna see the floating lanterns gleam._  
_And with every passing hour, I’m so glad we left our tower!_  
_Like all you lovely folks, I’ve got a dream!"_

Grinning from ear to ear, Rapunzel grabbed Varian by the hands and pulled him up on the table. He didn’t hesitate, rough wood brushing his feet as he climbed up beside her. Looking out over the jubilant crowd, he was seized by sudden inspiration, his own song bursting from his heart.

_“I’ve got a dream! I’ve got a dream!_  
_To be myself and not be seen as too extreme._  
_With my sister by my side, and no need for us to hide._  
_Yes, way down deep inside, I’ve got a dream!”_

Enthusiastic cheers and applause sounded at Varian and Rapunzel’s contributions. The tavern exploded into further chaos, dancing and acrobatics and flaming torches all wrapped up in an incredible spectacle. It was almost too much to keep track of, and Varian felt that same overwhelming dizziness bubbling in his chest from earlier, breathless and ecstatic.

_“She's got a dream!_  
_He's got a dream!_  
_They've got a dream!_  
_We've got a dream!_  
_So our diff'rences ain't_  
_really that extreme!_  
_We're one big team!_  
_Call us brutal,_  
_sick,_  
_sadistic,_  
_and grotesquely optimistic._  
_'Cause way down deep inside,_  
_we've got a dream!”_

Varian sang at the top of his lungs with the others, he and Rapunzel managing to stay in harmony with each other amid the noise. The two of them spun and jumped from table to table in a spur-of-the-moment duet. It was wild and joyful and Varian had never felt so _free._ One look at Rapunzel’s face told him she was feeling the same way and had come to the same conclusion he had; this _hadn’t_ been a mistake, after all.

_“I've got a dream!_  
_I've got a dream!_  
_I've got a dream!_  
_I've got a dream!_  
_I've got a dream!_  
_I've got a dream!”_

_“Yes, way down deep inside,  
_ _I've got a dream!  
_ _Yeah!”_

Everyone erupted into cheers. Rapunzel scooped Varian up in a hug, laughing, and he couldn’t help but join in. He’d never thought he’d feel so at ease around so many people, much less ones as intimidating as these. And along with the relief he felt, there was the realization that they’d managed to avoid serious trouble because Rapunzel had appealed to their humanity. They certainly weren’t the bloodthirsty, ruthless brutes he’d been expecting.

The ones Mother had told them about. For a moment, Varian found himself entertaining the possibility that Mother had been wrong- but he quickly pushed it away, feeling guilty for the thought. They must’ve just had the good luck of stumbling upon some kind-hearted ruffians, surely there were plenty of more dangerous ones out there.

But for the moment, Varian wasn’t worried about that. The joy and goodwill in the air was almost a physical sensation, like the buzz of energy he felt when he experimented with magnetic fields. He was more certain than ever before that he and Rapunzel could handle whatever came their way, so long as they were together. Everything was going to be fine.

The front door flew open with a bang, a breathless man standing there.

“I found the guards!” he announced excitedly.

The whole tavern froze. Guards- it took Varian a second to remember what the man was talking about, he’d been pretty out of it earlier. Once the realization hit him, however, he had just enough time to experience a jolt of panic before a hand closed around his arm. Both he and Rapunzel were pulled off the table and behind the bar by Flynn, whose face was tight with worry.

Huddled beneath the bar, Varian pressed close to Rapunzel, his heart pounding. There was a rush of heavy footsteps and the clanging of metal as- Varian assumed- guards stormed the tavern.

“Where’s Rider? Where is he?” a gruff, angry voice demanded. “I know he’s in here somewhere. Find him, turn the place upside down if you have to!” A fist slammed down on top of the bar, making Varian jump.

A low chatter filled the room as the ruffians talked with the guards to, Varian hoped, lead them off the trail. Though they’d been eager to sell Flynn out earlier, they’d seemed to have a change in heart. Perhaps sharing your hopes and dreams in song brought people together.

Flynn took a quick look over the top of the bar, and when he came back down, he somehow looked even _more_ worried.

The severity of the situation didn’t escape Varian. For whatever reason, Flynn was a wanted man, and that put him in danger. While Varian didn’t doubt Flynn’s skills, these were bad odds; they were in a cramped, unfamiliar place and Flynn didn’t even have a weapon on him. Varian wasn’t sure how much help he and Rapunzel could be against trained guards, and though they might not rat them out, the ruffians had no reason to stick their necks out for them and help them escape-

A metal hook tapped against the bar. Hookhand was subtly glancing down at them, his face turned away so as not to give up their position. Slowly, he reached out with his hand and pressed down on one of the levers adorning the bar.

There was a low rumbling, felt rather than heard through the floorboards. Before Varian’s eyes, the floor opened up into a narrow passageway, the wooden planks shifting and swinging away.

Varian had to stifle his gasp, biting down on his glove. What an intricate pulley system! There had to be so much going on behind the scenes to provide the kind of force necessary to move such a large mass-

Rapunzel put a hand on his shoulder, and Varian remembered himself. He shook out of it and followed Rapunzel and Flynn, crawling to the mouth of the tunnel. It was small, and dark, but it was a way out. Where, he didn’t know, but surely it was better than the alternative.

Hookhand crouched down beside them. “Go,” he said softly, “live your dream.”

“I will,” Flynn answered.

Hookhand glowered at him. “Your dream stinks. I was talkin’ to them.”

Flynn gave him a dry look before shuffling off down into the passageway.

Rapunzel gave Hookhand a grateful smile. “Thanks for everything,” she said, pressing a kiss to his cheek before following Flynn down into the tunnel.

Varian hesitated for a moment. “Uh, th- thanks,” he offered, hoping Hookhand didn’t expect a kiss on the cheek from him as well.

Hookhand nodded, clapping a hand on his shoulder. “Sure thing. You and your sister look out for each other now, alright kid?”

Despite his nerves, Varian managed a grin. “We always do.” 

And with that, Varian descended into the tunnel, joining Rapunzel and Flynn. The passage closed behind him with a shuddering groan, sealing them in the darkness.

~*~


	21. a special kind of heart

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Title: _a special kind of heart_  
>  Rating: K+  
> Warnings: Canon-typical violence, near drowning experience, mentions of death, minor language.  
> Summary: Outside the safety of the tower, dreaming can be dangerous. Rapunzel and Varian learn this the hard way.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Hi readers! I'm so excited for you guys to see this chapter, I've had it pretty much done for a week now, because I was out of town for a few days and wanted to make sure I wouldn't miss an update. In other news, we broke 200 comments last week! (A03 counts my replies as comments, so the number you see is about double the real amount). You guys are incredible, thank you so much for your continued support!
> 
> We're also going to be taking a bit of a detour from the canon movie, so I hope you enjoy it! - Aqua

__

_a special kind of heart_

~*~

“That was incredible!”

Varian’s voice echoed slightly in the tunnel. It was made of stone, cool beneath his feet, and there was a warm, faint light up ahead. Flynn leading the way, they’d run for a couple minutes just to be safe, putting distance between them and the passage’s secret entrance, but had dropped down to a walk now that they were sure they weren’t being followed. Varian’s heart was still racing, but whether it was from the exertion or the left-over adrenaline, he couldn’t tell.

Even in the dim light, Varian could see that Rapunzel was beaming. “I know, right?”

“You were amazing!” Varian told her excitedly. “I- I thought for sure those guys were gonna- but then you did that thing with the branch? Oh my gosh, that was so cool! And _singing?_ Who- who would’ve thought they’d be into singing?”

“I don’t know, I can hardly believe it either!” Rapunzel exclaimed. “I guess we got lucky.”

Varian’s smile faded. “H- hey, Rapunzel, I’m… I’m sorry I didn’t help back there,” he said quietly, glancing away. His throat tightened. “You were facing them alone and I should’ve done _something-”_

“Hey.” Rapunzel put a hand on his shoulder. “That wasn’t your fault, don’t blame yourself. Besides, _I’m_ the one who’s supposed to take care of _you,_ remember? I promised I always would.”

Varian sighed, managing a faint smile. “Yeah, okay,” he relented. “I’ll try not to freeze up again, alright? I’ll- _agh!”_

He broke off abruptly as they neared the source of the light; a wall-mounted lantern beside a _skeleton._ There was a rusted sword driven through the ribcage, cobwebs strung across the faded bones. Varian turned his face away as they passed it, clinging to Rapunzel’s arm as his stomach churned. He did _not_ need to see _that._

Flynn casually plucked the lantern from its hook, disregarding the skeleton. “Well, I’ve gotta say, I didn’t know you guys had that in you back there,” he said. “That was… pretty impressive. ‘Music hath charms to soothe the savage beast’ and all that.” 

Varian flushed at the compliment. _Flynn Rider_ thought something _he_ did was impressive. The thought astounded him.

Rapunzel played it a bit cooler. “I know.” She shrugged, before giving Flynn a sly look. “So, Flynn…. where are you from?” she ventured.

Varian perked up at that, turning his curious gaze on Flynn.

Flynn waved a hand dismissively, candlelight flickering along the stone walls. “Woah, woah, sorry Blondie, I don’t _do_ backstory. However, I am becoming very interested in yours.” He glanced at them over his shoulder. “Now, I- I know I’m not supposed to mention the hair.”

“Nope,” Rapunzel said.

“Or the mother,” Flynn continued.

Varian snorted. “No way.”

“And I guess that in the grand scheme of things, the shoes aren’t _that_ big a deal, so I won’t bother you about it…”

Varian looked down at his bare feet in surprise. He hadn’t thought about that.

“Here’s my question, though.” Flynn’s brows creased together thoughtfully. “If you wanted to see the lanterns so badly… why haven’t you gone before?”

Rapunzel’s eyes widened, and she exchanged a look with Varian. “Uh… well…”

Varian’s mind scrambled for an explanation that would be easier to… explain. It’d be difficult for Flynn to understand the complexity of their situation; Varian didn’t want him getting the wrong idea about Mother. And it’d require them to tell him about their powers, which was out of the question.

But before either sibling could hazard a response, the ground started to shake. Varian felt it through his feet before it began to rumble through the air, and his grip on Rapunzel’s arm tightened.

Rapunzel glanced behind them. “Uh, Flynn?”

Flynn peered into the dark.

_“Rider!”_

It was the same rough voice from the tavern, and figures emerged from the dark; several men in red uniforms and shining gold armor, brandishing swords. Alarm shot through Varian, and Rapunzel gasped.

“Run.” Flynn’s hand on Varian’s shoulder prompted him into movement. _“Run!”_

Together, they turned and fled down the tunnel, Rapunzel’s hair gathered in their arms so it wouldn’t drag behind her. The stone ceiling and walls seemed to shake from the force of their pursuers, and Varian experienced a fleeting moment of terror that the whole thing would just collapse on them, his breath shallow in his ears.

Winding their way through the tunnel, they finally saw light. The tunnel opened up into a gaping canyon, big enough to house the valley back home several times. The daylight was almost blinding, reflecting off of smooth orange stone. A few boarded off tunnels lined the walls along the canyon floor. Patterns in the sediment indicated water erosion, though the whole place was bone dry. Varian turned his head to see a massive wooden wall stretching along the top of the canyon- a dam. So that explained where all the water was.

Flynn ushered them to the edge of the ledge they were on, and Varian’s stomach flipped, Rapunzel quickly pulling him back. It was a sheer drop straight down, higher than the tower. The only way down was a rickety ladder that was missing several rungs, and it’d take way too long to climb down without breaking their necks. There wasn’t any visible way to climb up out of the canyon, but Varian’s gaze fell on an unblocked tunnel at the other side of the canyon. If they could reach it, then maybe-

There was movement down in the canyon; the wooden boards blocking off a tunnel burst into pieces as two large men broke through. Redheaded, tall, and muscular, Varian was utterly thrown as to why they’d be there, until they scowled up at Flynn and drew their swords.

“Who’s that?” Rapunzel asked nervously.

Flynn grimaced. “They don’t like me.”

Footsteps behind them, and the guards emerged from the tunnel. 

Rapunzel pushed Varian behind her. “Who’s that?”

“They don’t like me, either,” Flynn said warily.

To top it all off, a white stallion burst through the group of men, ear pinned flat against its skull and eyes narrowed in a startlingly human expression of pure malice. Varian was so confused he almost forgot to be scared for a moment.

Rapunzel gaped. “Who’s _that?”_

Flynn laughed nervously. “Let’s just assume for the moment that everyone here doesn’t like me.”

Rapunzel looked out over the massive canyon, and Varian followed her gaze. There was another rock structure a little ways off, wooden scaffolding sprawling above, and he immediately ran through their options in his mind. It wasn’t beyond reach of Rapunzel’s hair, but for her to get enough lift to get on top of the ledge without a run-up, she needed less weight. They couldn’t risk the wooden beam snapping under the pressure.

Rapunzel caught his eye. _“Varian.”_

Varian nodded, drawing his sword. “Go!”

“Here.” Rapunzel shoved her frying pan into Flynn’s stomach before lassoing the beam with her hair and jumping off the ledge. Varian watched her sail through the air towards the other side, but he had to trust that she landed safely because the guards were upon them, and you never turned your back to the enemy.

Varian shifted his stance, grip tightening on his sword. The first man to step forward exuded an air of superiority, donning a plumed helmet. His gaze fell on Varian only briefly before turning, dismissively, to Flynn.

“I waited a long time for this,” he sneered, lip curling beneath his mustache.

Holding the frying pan uncertainly, Flynn rushed to confront him.

While Varian would’ve loved to watch Flynn in action, he couldn’t forget himself. The other guards seemed like they intended to hang back while their leader handled it, something Varian took advantage of. He charged the nearest one, driving the point of his blade into the hilt of the man’s sword and twisting it out of his hand before he could even take up a defensive position. 

As the guard’s weapon clattered to the ground, Varian was suddenly gripped with panic. He and Rapunzel always fought to disarm, he didn’t know what to do next-

_**Clang.** _

Flynn, having felled the leader of the guards, brought the frying pan down on the guard’s helmet. The blow hit soundly, sending the guard sprawling unconscious to the ground. He met Varian’s eyes, understanding passing between them, and Varian moved.

He blocked a powerful swipe from one of the remaining guards as it bore down on Flynn’s head, parrying the blade away. Stepping into the motion, Varian ducked under the guard’s arm and out of the way as Flynn dealt the final blow.

Spinning on his heel, Varian moved to confront one of the final two guards, freeing up Flynn to take the other. The guard seemed to have finally processed what was happening and met Varian’s sword without hesitation, the sharp clash of metal ringing out through the canyon.

Eyes narrowed, Varian kept his sword up in a high position, knowing his height disadvantage would give the guard incentive to attack from above. His arms shook from the force of the strikes he deflected, sidestepping on light feet to keep the guard engaged until Flynn had dealt with the other one.

A heavy slash came a bit too close for comfort, and Varian drove the guard back with a lunge towards his unguarded midsection. Using his forward momentum, Varian sprang up and landed a solid hit on the guard’s grip with the flat of his blade, smacking the weapon loose.

The guard had a single second to look surprised before Flynn bashed him over the head with the frying pan. He crumpled beneath the blow and landed in a heap with the others.

All four guards lay unconscious.

Flynn twirled the frying pan in his hand. “Oh, I have _gotta_ get me one of these!” He gave Varian an approving look. “Not bad, kid!”

Breathless, Varian grinned. “Not bad, yourself! My sister could give you some pointers, though.”

Flynn laughed. “I don’t doubt it.”

There was movement out of the corner of Varian’s eye, and he and Flynn both whirled around, weapons at the ready. _The horse-_ it had somehow worked one of the fallen guards’ swords into its mouth, brandishing it at Flynn with clear intent. It gave a furious neigh before charging Flynn, tossing its head to cross blades with him.

Varian jumped out of the way, his jaw dropping. He didn’t know much about horses, but the level of motor skills displayed there were far beyond what he’d expect for-

“Varian!”

Rapunzel’s voice came from behind him, Varian turning in time to catch the length of hair she threw him. He responded automatically, tightening his grip and leaping off the edge before he could even process that he was jumping off of a _very high ledge._

He managed to fight the instinct to close his eyes, a scream trapped in his throat as he sailed through the air. Wind ripped at his clothes and hair, his eyes stinging, and the drop made his insides feel like they’d been liquified. The ground rushed up to meet him, and Varian let his sword fall before letting go himself, tucking his head to roll into the landing.

Varian came to a rough stop, sprawled out on the ground. Inhaling sharply, he remained motionless for a moment as he waited for the world to stop spinning. Shakily, he rolled onto his hands and knees, reaching for his sword and glancing up at the rock structure Rapunzel was still perched on.

Rapunzel was fishing in her hair, likely preparing to gather Flynn in the same manner and rescue him from the bizarre equine swordfight he was currently engaged in. Varian scrambled to his feet and called up to her.

“Rapunzel!” 

“Varian, the tunnel!” Rapunzel pointed at the far end of the canyon. “Go, we’ll catch up!”

Varian didn’t want to leave Rapunzel, but he knew she was capable of finding a way down and there was no time to argue. He sheathed his sword and began to run. 

He ran as fast as he could, his lungs burning. He knew that the two rogues were lurking about somewhere on the canyon floor, and there was no telling how long they had until the guards came-to. Fortunately, he managed to reach the tunnel without incident, darting quickly into the relative safety it provided-

The tunnel was a dead end, blocked up from what looked like a cave-in.

Varian’s heart dropped. They’d have to find another way. He turned and ran back out, squinting against the sunlight. “Rapunzel, Flynn!” he called. “The tunnel-”

The words died in Varian’s throat. A colossal wave of water rolled through the canyon, Rapunzel and Flynn running ahead of it. It was more water than Varian could process, like a mountain in motion, its roaring amplified against the canyon walls. The _dam,_ he realized absently; the dam had burst, spilling all the water into the valley that’d been carved from it.

The wave crashed into a tall rock pillar, taller than the tower. Cracks spider-webbed along its base before it split clean in half, the top of it falling in almost slow-motion. Its enormous shadow fell over the canyon, snuffing out the sunlight, and the grating sound of crumbling rocks filled Varian’s ears as the structure collapsed towards him, ready to crush.

Rapunzel was running his way, tailed by Flynn, and she was shouting something- he could hear her voice but it was muted, like he was underwater- and instincts screamed at him to move but suddenly his muscles seized up and he couldn’t tear his eyes away from the giant rock spire as it fell closer and closer.

Varian froze.

~*~

“Varian!”

Rapunzel called out to him in vain. He was gone, she could see it, frozen in fear at the sight of the collapsing rock spire, and her mind screamed desperately, _why now?_

She could reach him before the spire fell, but only just. Her path was slightly off-center; she was coming towards him from a diagonal instead of straight-on because of where she’d landed earlier, and her heart sank at the implications.

She wasn’t coming from the right angle to get Varian into the tunnel and trying to turn at this speed could cause a fatal stumble. With no time to work out another option, Rapunzel ran at Varian full-tilt and pushed him out of way, sending him clear from the spire’s looming shadow.

The abrupt transfer of momentum brought Rapunzel to a staggering halt in front of the tunnel’s gaping mouth, and in the split-second afterwards, she realized there was no way she’d be fast enough to get out of the spire’s path herself-

Flynn, coming head-on to the tunnel, raced towards Rapunzel. Without stopping, his arm hooked around her waist and swept her off her feet, carrying her into the tunnel. They landed hard, and Rapunzel blinked the spots from her vision, glancing back towards the entrance.

The rock spire crashed down over the tunnel, sealing them in.

And Varian was on the other side.

~*~

Flynn’s world was plunged into darkness.

There was a faint ring of light around the edges of the boulder blocking the entrance, and his eyes struggled to adjust to it, to take advantage of it as much as he could. Rapunzel had already scrambled to her feet; he could see her beating against the rock with her frying pan, the sounds echoing loudly in the small space.

“Varian!” she cried. _“Varian!”_

Water rushed around Flynn’s boots; it was steadily streaming through the small gaps where the tunnel’s entrance met the collapsed rock spire. Alarm shot through him like an arrow, and he quickly grabbed Rapunzel by the arm.

“We can’t get out that way, come on!” Flynn was relieved when Rapunzel followed him further down the tunnel instead of protesting- right up until they came face to face with a wall of rocks.

It was a dead end.

Flynn’s heart dropped. He scanned the rocks, trying to feel out a weak point, and when that failed, trying to make one. His shoulder glanced harmlessly off the stone, earning him nothing but bruised muscles for his efforts. Trying to push the rocks loose was quickly proving futile, as well-

His hand slipped against a particularly sharp rock, slicing his palm open. Hissing, Flynn drew his hand in close, taking in the wound. It stung like hell, but it wasn’t deep; he had far more pressing matters at the moment.

Taking a deep breath, Flynn dove into the rising water, hoping to find an exit they might have overlooked. No such luck, it seemed. Underwater, there was nothing but the dark and the cold. He floundered blindly, feeling only solid stone and no way out.

Flynn came back up, gasping for air. “It’s no use, I can’t see anything,” he said, wiping his burning eyes. The water was creeping past his waist now, its chill seeping into his bones as dread settled in his core.

So, this was how he’d die. Kind of… anticlimactic, if he was being honest. He wasn’t as scared as he thought he’d be, just… horribly, deeply unsatisfied. After all he’d been through, all the times his grave could’ve been a ditch on the side of a road or a gutter in the street, he was going to die like a drowned rat? He’d at _least_ liked to have gone down fighting.

But perhaps the worst part was the realization that no one would miss him. No one would even remember him, save for a casual glance at an old wanted poster and an offhanded, _“huh, wonder if they ever caught that guy.”_ Well, except for his good old friends in the royal guard- they’d be sorely confused as to where he disappeared to, and while they might come to the conclusion that’d he’d drowned in the dam collapse, they’d never find _proof,_ so the possibility would always be there at the back of their minds.

Was that all his legacy would be? A nagging thought for some guys who’d wanted him dead? A stolen crown that’d never be recovered? Wow, real productive life you’ve got there, Flynn. Great work. Swallowing, he glanced over at Rapunzel to see how she was accepting her fate. Hopefully, better than he was.

Rapunzel hesitated for a moment before plunging into the water.

Flynn’s pulse jumped. Part of him screamed that it didn’t matter, but he couldn’t stand to see Rapunzel spend her last moments filled with terror and panic. He dove in after her, pulling her back up in a splash of water.

“Hey, _hey,_ there’s no point,” Flynn said, his hands on Rapunzel’s shoulders, steadying her. “It’s pitch black down there.”

Rapunzel’s eyes widened in realization, and she backed away, pressing against the rocks. Her breathing hitched. “V- Varian,” she choked out. “I- I promised I’d keep him _safe.”_

Flynn’s throat tightened. “You did the best you could,” he said, his voice gentle. “Look, if you hadn’t pushed him out of the way, he’d be trapped just like us. You saved him.”

Rapunzel shook her head frantically. “He c- can’t swim!”

Flynn’s heart jolted. Somehow, he managed to speak calmly. “That’s not gonna matter, alright? The water’s moving so fast that swimming would be a moot point, anyhow. It’ll carry him along till he finds land. You saved him.” Even as the words left Flynn’s mouth, he sent up a desperate prayer that they were true. Don’t let him be a liar in his last moments. Let the kid be okay.

The words seemed to reassure Rapunzel, though only somewhat. “What’s he going to do now?” she whispered. “He- he’s all alone and he won’t know how to get home and I was supposed to always be there for him…”

“Hey, he’s a smart kid, he’ll be okay,” Flynn told her.

Rapunzel sniffed, wrapping her arms around herself. “This is all my fault. She was right, we never should have done this. I’m so… I’m so _sorry,_ Flynn.”

She broke down, her soft crying somehow feeling louder than the roar of the flooding water. Her words rang in Flynn’s head. Here she was, about to die, and her concerns weren’t for herself. She cried for her brother, who she felt she was now abandoning, and for Flynn, a perfect stranger she felt responsible for.

Flynn’s heart twinged painfully. It wasn’t fair that Rapunzel was going to die here. And yeah, if Flynn had learned anything in life it was that most deaths weren’t fair, but this just seemed cruel. Like crushing a sunflower.

True, he didn’t know much about her, but he knew enough to tell that she was a good person. She was fiercely protective of a brother who adored her and sang with murderers and thieves like they were just people to her and this whole thing had started because she had a dream to see a festival of lanterns. And now that their deaths were fast approaching, she wasn’t blaming Flynn for failing to keep her safe or committing the crime that’d brought the guards down on top of them, but she was _apologizing._ To him.

… that was a special kind of heart she had.

Flynn didn’t think he could express all those thoughts in a meaningful way. Being honest with emotions had never been his strong suit; in his line of work, emotions got you killed. But the water was at his chest now and he felt like he should say _something._

“… Eugene.”

Rapunzel paused, looking at him through a stream of tears. “What?”

Flynn sighed. Yes, Flynn, that was _exactly_ the way to console a distraught girl in her final moments- tell her your true identity. Simply _brilliant._ Well… it wasn’t like he had anything to lose by it.

“My real name is Eugene Fitzherbert,” he admitted. “Someone might as well know.”

Rapunzel was quiet for a moment, a small smile playing on her lips. “I have magic hair that glows when I sing.”

Flynn blinked. _“What?”_

Rapunzel put a hand out suddenly, brows furrowed. “I have… _magic_ hair, that _glows_ when I sing!” she repeated earnestly.

Water lapped at their chins, and suddenly Flynn couldn’t ponder what Rapunzel was talking about. He pressed as high up as he could go, brushing against the ceiling in a last-ditch effort to prolong the inevitable.

Beside him, Rapunzel let out a string of words that sounded suspiciously like a song, though rushed with panic; _“Flower, gleam and glow, let your power shine-”_

They both took a final breath before the water completely overtook them.

Flynn held his breath, bracing himself for that final, pointless struggle. There was a sudden light behind his eyelids, and he opened to eyes to see-

_‘Woah!’_

Flynn had to clap a hand over his mouth to stop himself from losing precious air. Rapunzel’s hair was _glowing._ Not in a _‘wow, you’ve got such a healthy glow, your hair is just **shining,** what product do you use?’_ kind of way, but an honest-to-god bright golden light emanating from every strand of it. It filled the flooded tunnel with its glow, and everything was suddenly clear as day.

The hair was drifting to a single cluster of rocks; a _current-_ and a current meant air flow and air flow meant a way _out._ Flynn dove towards it, grabbing hold of a rock and pulling. A thrill of excitement ran through him when the rock _moved-_ it was a cave-in, a pile of rubble stopping up the tunnel and the more he dug, the more that fell away.

Rapunzel joined him. The glow was rapidly fading from her hair, darkness overtaking Flynn’s field of view, but that didn’t matter. Something in the rocks gave, and Flynn’s hand found open air.

_‘Hang on kid, we’re coming!’_

~*~

Varian hit the ground hard.

A dull ache radiated from where his shoulder had slammed into the ground, and the shock of it snapped him out of his trance. Alarm shot through him as he remembered- the dam, the collapsing pillar- and his breathing hitched in a strangled gasp.

Pushing himself upright, Varian looked up just in time to see Flynn tackle Rapunzel into the tunnel, out of the path of the rock- but _it was a dead end,_ they didn’t know! He opened his mouth to scream a warning when a sudden shadow fell over him, and then the water hit.

The churning wave swept Varian clear off the ground, rolling him head over heels. There was no sense of gravity here, no up or down, just cold, dark chaos. He couldn’t move from the immense pressure surrounding him, jerking him this way and that like a leaf in a windstorm. The chill was instantaneous, soaking him through to the bone. Roaring water filled his ears and clouded his vision, his eyes burning, and he was entirely at the water’s mercy, panic gripping him like ice in his veins.

The force of the water colliding with his body had knocked the wind out of him. Varian had just enough presence of mind to fight the instinct to breathe in. But it _hurt-_ don’t, there’s no air, just water- but his lungs, it was like claws sinking into his chest and _twisting,_ it hurt, it hurt, it _hurt._ He needed to breathe, he had to, he _had_ to, but _no,_ no, no, no, don’t breathe, don’t-

Varian choked. Water flooded his mouth, his nose, his body seizing as it tried to reject the _not air_ pouring into his lungs but there was nothing to replace it with, there was only water, and it was like giant arms were wrapped around his chest, _squeezing._ The pressure was too much, he needed to _breathe._

Varian slammed against something solid, shockwaves of pain rippling through his body. It took him a second to realize he’d stopped moving, the world still spinning around him. But the water continued to flow over him, snapping his head down, pulling at his limbs, and he still couldn’t breathe. Darkness ate at the edges of his vision, and he could feel his grip on consciousness slipping-

There was a tug on the back of his shirt, and something took his weight. Suddenly there was ground beneath him, air stinging his face, but there was no strength left to expel the water from his lungs. 

The last thing Varian saw was the glint of gold on red before everything faded away.

~*~


	22. signs of life

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Title: _signs of life_  
>  Rating: K+  
> Warnings: panic attacks, injury, depressing themes, minor language  
> Summary: With Varian's fate uncertain, Rapunzel finds herself relying on Flynn in more ways than one.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Hi readers! So I updated a bit early because I’m super hyped about all the news that came out for the series. But I won’t scream about it here, that’s what my tumblr is for. In other news, I was totally overwhelmed by the response to the last chapter, in a really good way! I really appreciate all your comments, and I hope you’ll enjoy this chapter just as much! 
> 
> Lyrics at the end from 'Touch', by Sleeping at Last. - Aqua

__

_signs of life_

~*~

Rapunzel’s head broke the surface.

She collapsed on the riverbank, gasping for breath and coughing up water. Flynn- no, _Eugene,_ was beside her, coughing. Land- damp soil beneath her fingers, wind in her face- they were alive. They were _alive._ A million thoughts and emotions collided inside her, with one becoming a roar above everything else.

_“Varian!”_

Rapunzel struggled to her feet, feeling like her every movement was still underwater. It was heavy, everything was heavy, from her soaked clothes to her hair still floating in the water and she was lightheaded, her breaths coming faster and faster like she couldn’t get enough air in and her heart was racing frantically because _Varian was out there somewhere-_

“Rapunzel.” Eugene’s voice was raw, strained, like he’d gotten a lot of the water down his throat, but close-

A hand rested on her shoulder, making her jump. Rapunzel whirled around to meet Eugene’s eyes, her vision rapidly becoming blurred with tears. “Varian,” she gasped, “he’s- we have t- to-”

“Just breathe, Blondie,” Eugene said gently. His lips quirked up in a half-smile. “What, I thought you’d be happy to have all this air.”

Rapunzel managed a laugh, a sharp exhale of air, before taking a deep breath. She was trembling, she realized, but whether it was from the chill of the water or her own anxiety, she couldn’t tell. Pushing down her panic, she focused instead on the feeling of grass beneath her feet, the gentle rushing of the river behind them, the dying sunlight on her skin.

It took some time for breathing to get easier, for it to stop rattling in her chest, and gradually her heartbeat slowed back down to normal. All the while, Eugene breathed with her, his hand warm on her shoulder. When she was finally calm, he let his hand fall away.

“There we go, that’s better.” He rubbed the back of his neck, his wet bangs stuck to his forehead. “Look, I- I won’t pretend I’m not freaked out about the whole glowing hair thing, cause I am, but we’ve got other things to worry about.”

Rapunzel’s throat tightened. “Varian,” she breathed. “He could be anywhere, how are we gonna find him? What if he’s hurt? A- and scared and alone-”

“We’ll find him,” Eugene insisted.

Rapunzel bit her lip. _“How?”_

Eugene’s brows creased together, and he glanced off down the riverbank, to the edge of the forest, to the darkening sky above them, streaked with orange and pink. “We start walking and go from there,” he said after a moment.

Rapunzel blinked. “We… start walking, and… go from there,” she echoed. “Okay.”

“Come on, it’ll be easy.” Eugene turned with a wave of his hand, striding to the water’s edge to start fishing in Rapunzel’s hair. “We’ll just follow the river.”

“Follow the river.” Rapunzel bent over and scooped up her frying pan, forgotten in the grass. The weight of the metal in her hand was comforting, almost. “Right.”

Eugene pulled the last of her hair out of the water and gave her a confident, reassuring smile that made her heart skip a beat.

“Let’s go find your brother.”

~*~

Varian’s eyes flew open.

Pain was the first thing he registered, _pain_ and _cold_ and _wet._ He was laying flat on his back, soft grass beneath him- grass and dirt- water rushing somewhere around him, and the sound sent an arc of terror through him like lightning, pitching his heartrate into a spike.

There were hands pressing down on his chest- stop, stop, it _hurt-_ and Varian tried to scramble away. His muscles seized, and he curled up on his side, his throat burning as he coughed up water. The hands quickly pulled back, but it didn’t stop the pain. Each cough was agony, a hammer beating against his sternum, and tears streamed down his face. As his body struggled to remember how to breathe, his mind raced frantically.

Rapunzel, Flynn, the canyon- what happened? Where were they? Where was _he?_ His head pounded, everything was painful and dizzy and off-balanced- _and Rapunzel wasn’t here_ \- and he was alone. It was wrong, wrong, wrong, where was she, where-

“Woah, take it easy, boy! We’re not going to hurt you.”

Varian blinked water from his eyes, struggling to focus on the owner of the voice. Red and gold swam in front of his vision, a somewhat familiar face studying him with concern. Alarm rushed through him; it was the leader of the guards, the other men by his side. They were all wet, their hair plastered to their heads and their clothes soaked through.

Water. The dam had burst, flooding the canyon- Rapunzel, Flynn- they were supposed to escape through the tunnel but it was a dead end, Varian knew, but they _didn’t._ He didn’t tell them. They went inside and the rock came down and then the water-

They’d gotten trapped inside, and the water must have-

The water-

Varian’s brain refused to finish the thought. Every time he tried to work out what happened next, what must have, logically, happened next, it was like it’d been snatched from his grasp, leaving him floundering. He _knew_ he knew what’d happened, he knew it from the coiled knot of dread in his stomach. He could feel the thought in the back of his mind, some dark, fearful creature that skittered away every time he neared it.

Because Varian had seen the inside of the tunnel. He knew it was a dead end, that there was no way out. And he knew that Rapunzel and Flynn had made it inside the tunnel- the tunnel that was a dead end- right before the rock pillar crashed down over the entrance. It would’ve sealed them in, but not perfectly. Not an airtight seal, there was no way. And so the water-

The _water-_

Varian screamed.

~*~

Captain Elliot nearly jumped out of his skin when the boy started to scream.

He backed up to give the boy room, holding a hand out to indicate his men should stay put. The scream was shrill in his ears, and it was devastating in a way that made his hair stand on end as his heart twisted itself into a knot. He froze, considering how to proceed.

All things considered, his men had fared well. Though a bit shaken and waterlogged, they hadn’t taken quite as bad a beating from the floodwaters. They’d managed to get themselves ashore much sooner than the boy clearly had. In fact, if he hadn’t gotten snagged on a fallen tree, stretched across the river, he probably would’ve been done for.

As far as weapons went, Captain Elliot’s sword had been sheathed at the time, as had Jonah’s, but the other two men had lost their blades in the wave. Marvin could use the one they’d confiscated from the boy, but it was a bit short for his arm. And all their helmets were gone, as well.

Maximus was nowhere to be seen, though Captain Elliot knew better than to fear for the horse’s safety. Maximus was more competent than a great deal of his men and was more than capable of handling a little burst dam. So he didn’t spare another moment of worry for the horse.

He’d lost sight of Rider, and that strange girl accompanying him. There was no way of knowing if they’d avoided the dam collapse or not, and the possibility of failure hissed at the back of his mind like alcohol in an open wound.

This boy, now; the young accomplice to Rider. Captain Elliot had almost thought he was dead when he’d dragged him ashore; freckled skin pale and cold, damp black hair in his face. It’d taken a few minutes of tense work to keep his heart beating and get the water out of his lungs enough to breathe. There hadn’t been any obvious injuries, but Captain Elliot had felt the boy’s ribs break beneath his hands as he’d administered chest compressions. It wasn’t his first time doing so, but it always made him grimace.

But he had a feeling that wasn’t why the boy was screaming. Broken ribs were painful, but this sound was like the boy was being torn apart, like his world had just fallen down around him. Tears streamed down his face, his breath coming in ragged gasps between sobs.

 _“Rapunzel!”_ he cried. “No, no, _no,_ please!”

He was panicking, that much was clear. Captain Elliot had experience dealing with victims of trauma, but he’d never been the nurturing type. Especially when it came to children; his own somewhat distant relationship with his daughter came to mind, quickly pushed away. Here and now.

“What’s your name, boy?” Captain Elliot tried to make his voice softer, knowing that scaring the boy might make him withdraw further.

The boy didn’t acknowledge the question, curling in on himself and clutching his head. _“No!_ Please, no, she can’t be. Sh- she _can’t_ be gone, _please.”_

“The girl?” Captain Elliot frowned. “Who is she?”

This time, the boy reacted, his stricken gaze meeting Captain Elliot’s; pale blue eyes filled with agony. “My _sister,”_ he gasped out.

Captain Elliot raised his eyebrows. “Your sister?” So Rider had ditched the Stabbingtons for another pair of siblings. Odd coincidence.

The boy cried even harder, grimacing from the pain it caused his ribcage but unable to stop. “I- I told her I w- wouldn’t freeze anymore but I _did,_ a- and I didn’t warn them about th- the tunnel… it’s my fault, it’s all my f- fault they got trapped in there and _drowned-”_ His voice cracked abruptly and the rest of his resolve crumbled.

He broke down into sobs, and gone was any trace of the kid from the canyon, who’d faced them down with steely determination and a steady grip on a sword. In his place was a heartbroken, lost child overwhelmed with anguish.

Captain Elliot turned the words over in his mind, his frown deepening.

 _They_ got trapped, he’d said. If Rider and his other accomplice had truly drowned, then this boy was the only lead they had on the crown. Rider hadn’t had it on him, so he had to have stashed it somewhere. Considering that the boy was traveling with him only hours after the crime, he surely knew where.

But it was easy to see that they wouldn’t be getting anything useful out of him at the moment, he was too distraught. Returning without the crown was a harrowing thought, but as far as Captain Elliot was concerned, their first order of business was to get the boy secure. _Then_ they could question him, and finally recover the crown.

Afterwards, they’d have to decide what to do with the boy. Most of the time, when Captain Elliot came across children involved in crime, they were orphans. If he _did_ have family, Captain Elliot would have to track them down before his trial. And there _would_ be a trail, because though he was young, he’d been an accomplice to a wanted man and assaulted royal guards. Perhaps Captain Elliot could work out a plea deal for him; the location of the crown in exchange for a lighter sentence.

But all that could wait until they were back at the castle. The boy wasn’t yet ready to travel, though. Additionally, his own men were exhausted from their struggle in the flood, and the sun would be down within the hour. If they didn’t get warm, their body temperatures could drop to dangerous levels.

Priorities.

“We’ll make camp here tonight, men, and return to the castle in the morning,” Captain Elliot decided, lifting his voice to address them. “Standard watch cycle, I’ll take first shift, followed by Caleb, Marvin, then Jonah.”

His men responded with salutes before dispersing to gather firewood and rough out a campsite.

Caleb lingered, scratching at his damp mutton chops. “Sir? What about the boy?” He rested his hand on the shackles hooked to his belt, a question in his expression.

Captain Elliot studied the boy, his small, broken form shaking with sobs.

The boy wouldn’t get far with cracked ribs, but there was always the possibility he’d try and escape anyways. Captain Elliot wasn’t worried about the boy getting away so much as he was that he’d get himself killed. And then they’d have lost the crown for certain.

On the other hand… the boy was an absolute mess. It was likely his sister had just died- he clearly thought so, and he was taking it _hard._ Right now, escape was probably the farthest thing from his mind. He was no threat.

Captain Elliot allowed his voice to soften. “There’s no need. He’s hardly in the condition to try anything. We’ll just… keep a close eye on him.”

Caleb nodded. “Yes, Captain.”

Captain Elliot watched him walk away for a moment before turning to the boy.

“Alright, boy, let’s try this again. What’s your name?”

~*~

“Should we be calling for him? I feel like we should be calling for him.”

Rapunzel wrung her hands nervously as her gaze swept up and down the riverbank, her drying hair dragging behind her. The sun was almost set, and they still hadn’t found Varian. It was getting harder to keep her panic in check, every despairing thought quickly forced to the back of her mind.

Because they _were_ going to find Varian, and he was going to be _fine._ She couldn’t afford to think otherwise, not when he was relying on her.

Eugene shook his head. “No, there’s no telling whose attention we might catch if we start yelling. The guards were swept up in the same flood, among other things, and-”

“Who were those guys, anyways?” Rapunzel asked. “Down in the canyon?”

Eugene hesitated, and it was immediately apparent that the thought of lying had occurred to him. “… old partners of mine,” he sighed, rubbing the back of his neck. “I… sort of stiffed them on a job, and they happen to be the ‘revenge-taking’ types. Admittedly, not my best move.”

Rapunzel tilted her head. “Why’d you do it?”

Eugene didn’t seem to like that question. “Because that’s what you do in this business,” he replied, a bit testily. He looked more uncomfortable than angry, though, and there was an unreadable emotion glistening in his eyes. Guilt? Regret?

Either way, Rapunzel let the matter drop. “Well, I still think we’d find Varian faster if we called out for him,” she said.

“We don’t need to do that, just look for signs he’s been around.” Eugene’s voice softened as he explained. “Crushed grass and grooves in the soil, snapped branches along the tree line- the world gives plenty of messages, you just gotta know how to read them.”

Rapunzel frowned. “I’d appreciate it if the world would write a bit bigger, then.” _Some_ people were only just learning-

Eugene suddenly grabbed her hand and pulled her behind a tree, holding a finger to his lips. Rapunzel held her breath, her heart pounding in her ears as she listened for whatever Eugene had heard.

Above the noises of the forest and the soft flowing of the river, she could just make out the unmistakable crackling of a fire. Eugene caught her eye and tilted his head in the sound’s direction, and she nodded.

Rapunzel followed Eugene through the underbrush, deeper into the forest. She crept slowly and silently, her hair gathered in her arms so it wouldn’t catch on anything and her muscles tense. They didn’t have to go far before a warm, flickering glow appeared, casting shadows on the trees.

Eugene came to a stop behind a mossy boulder, and Rapunzel crouched beside him. Together, they carefully peered over top of it. 

It was a small clearing, framed by trees. There was a campfire going in the center of it in a makeshift pit of rocks, the ground around it stripped of grass and fallen leaves. Laying around the fire were three sleeping men, dressed in red and gold- Rapunzel’s heart jolted as she recognized the guards from the canyon. She couldn’t see the horse anywhere, which actually made her more nervous. Only one guard was awake, sitting back against a tree, his expression troubled. And on the ground beside him-

_Varian._

Rapunzel had to bite her tongue to stop herself from calling out to him. He was awake, curled up on his side with a gloved hand clenched between his teeth as he cried; soft, muffled sobs that shook his whole body. He didn’t immediately appear injured, but there was such _pain_ in his face, it made her feel like her heart was turning inside out.

“Alright,” Eugene whispered, his voice barely audible in her ear. “We need a plan.”

Rapunzel hardly heard him. She couldn’t tear her gaze away from Varian. The guard beside him wasn’t even _trying_ to comfort him, just giving him the occasional uneasy glance as he cried, and her sudden white-hot rage was only surpassed by the desperate need to go to Varian’s side, to take him in her arms and hold him close and make everything alright again like she’d promised it always would be-

A hand closed around her upper arm, making her jump. She had to stifle a surprised yelp, looking up into Eugene’s concerned face.

“You with me, Blondie?” he murmured worriedly. “Your eyes got real intense there for a second.”

“Sorry,” Rapunzel whispered back. She took a steadying breath; losing her head now wouldn’t help Varian at all.

Sympathy flashed across Eugene’s features. “We’ll get him back, we just need to figure out how.”

Nodding, Rapunzel reexamined the campsite. Her gaze drifted to the surrounding trees, their long, sturdy branches sprawling over the sleeping guards. Mind turning, she reached for a strand of her hair; it was still damp, but she could work with it. Her eyes narrowed in determination.

“I’ve got a plan.”

~*~

Varian stared into the crackling flames, his vision blurred with tears.

The ground was cool against his cheek, a soothing contrast to the waves of heat that buffeted his face. He didn’t know when they’d moved him over by the fire, just that it had hurt. He hadn’t fought against the unfamiliar arms that’d lifted him, though, merely grit his teeth against the fresh waves of pain the movement caused him and waited for it to be over.

The leader of the guards had tried to talk to Varian for a while. He’d eventually given up and gone to sleep, leaving the man with the hairy face to watch over Varian. That man hadn’t tried to talk to Varian yet, to his relief. He could feel the man’s uneasy gaze on him, but he couldn’t bring himself to care about it.

All he could think about was that Rapunzel was dead.

Varian bit down harder on his glove as a fresh sob welled up in his throat. The pain he felt in his chest was nothing compared to the agony that seemed to tear at the very fabric of his being. His mind was still screaming, and it sounded like roaring water in his ears.

Dead. Rapunzel, _dead._

It shouldn’t be possible. It was like the world had just stopped turning around Varian, like the sun had fallen from the sky. If Rapunzel died, his own heart should’ve just stopped beating. He couldn’t live without her, couldn’t even comprehend a world where she wasn’t there. It was a thought so wrong it made him feel like he was being turned inside out. And yet, his own heart continue to beat stubbornly in his aching ribcage.

It was too much. Varian just wanted to stop existing, for the ground to open up beneath him and swallow him. There was nothing left. There was no point. He felt like he was alive only in the most base physical sense; he hadn’t dropped dead when Rapunzel died, but he might as well have.

He found he no longer cared what happened to him. The fact that he was being held in the custody of the guards didn’t scare him, nor the thought that he was miles away from home and all alone. He felt no concern for himself or his predicament, for the sharp pain in his ribs or how he’d get home.

(Absently, Varian realized didn’t even care enough to worry about what he was going to tell Mother-)

The guard sitting beside Varian suddenly flew into the air, his unprotected head smashing against the tree branch above him with a solid thud, before he collapsed back down in a heap, unconscious. Something slithered away from around his midsection, a flash of gold like a snake, or-

Varian pushed himself upright, cringing at the pain the movement caused him. Heart pounding, he glanced at the other three guards- one of them had turned over in his sleep at the noise, but made no sign of waking. As Varian watched, familiar tendrils of gold shot down from the trees and lashed around the guards, and then all at once, yanked them up to collide with the tree branches above. They slumped back down to the ground, knocked out, and the gold fell away. There was a shifting in the trees, and then-

“Varian!”

Something collided with him, and it took him a second to register the flash of yellow and purple, and the warm, familiar embrace that enveloped him.

_Rapunzel._

All the air left Varian’s lungs in a strangled gasp. For a moment he couldn’t even believe she was there, that the weight of her arms around him was real, that her voice in his ear wasn’t just a memory. But it _was_ her, and his body finally caught up to his mind and reacted, wrapping his arms around her as he started to cry again.

The shock and the relief was overwhelming, leaving him breathless and trembling. Rapunzel was alive. She was _alive-_ he didn’t understand, the tunnel had been a dead end and they’d been trapped, and the water- he’d thought they’d drowned. Logically, they would have drowned.

When Varian finally found his voice, it came out in a shaky exhale. "Rapunzel?"

"Yes, Varian, I'm here." Rapunzel's voice shook. "It's okay, I'm here."

“B- but _how?_ " Varian asked. "The tunnel was a dead end, I- I thought that you and Flynn-”

“No,” Rapunzel murmured, “no, we got out, there was- the exit was just blocked up by some rocks, and it opened up into the river.”

Varian’s breathing hitched, and he held her tighter, despite the pain in his chest. “I’m sorry, I’m so sorry I didn’t t- tell you about the tunnel, I f- froze up again-”

“It’s alright,” Rapunzel said soothingly. “It’s alright, Varian, that wasn’t your fault.”

Varian swallowed, his throat still hoarse from screaming. He hid his face in Rapunzel’s shoulder, breathing in her scent. He was almost dizzy with relief, but the terror he’d felt was still at the forefront of his mind like a bitter aftertaste.

“I th- thought you were _gone,”_ he whispered.

“I know. I know, it’s alright.” Rapunzel’s hand ran over his hair, soft and familiar and right. “I’m here. I’m here.”

Varian’s world started to turn again.

~*~

Flynn crept through the trees once the coast was clear.

He gripped Rapunzel’s frying pan in his uninjured hand as a precaution, but after a quick scan of the campsite, it was apparent he wouldn’t be needing it; the guards all looked soundly unconscious. Flynn considered taking the two swords he could see, but decided it’d be more trouble to carry them around than it was worth. He did pick up Varian’s sword, however, recognizing the shorter blade sheathed on one of the guard’s belts, and slipped it through his own belt for the moment.

And speaking of the kid, he looked even worse now that Flynn was closer. He was crying in Rapunzel’s arms, shaking like a leaf. His voice was ragged, and choked with sobs. He held Rapunzel like she’d disappear if he let go, tears streaking down his face.

Flynn had a sneaking suspicion Rapunzel was crying too. He could barely make out the words they whispered to each other, but he could tell the separation and near-death scare had shaken them both deeply. The sight made his heart tighten painfully.

Flynn knelt beside the siblings and offered a smile. “Hey, kid. Good to see you.”

Varian peeked at him over Rapunzel’s shoulder. “Hi,” he whispered. “G- glad you’re not dead.”

Flynn grinned at that. “You and me both.”

Rapunzel finally pulled away from Varian to study his face, wiping at her eyes and managing a watery smile. “We were so worried about you,” she said. “Are you hurt?

Varian managed a slight nod. “M- my ribs,” he breathed.

Brows knitting together in concern, Rapunzel carefully tugged his shirt up. She inhaled sharply; Varian’s entire torso was colored black and blue.

Flynn winced. With a beating like that, his ribs were probably broken. Instinct told Flynn it was from being tossed around by the water, but there was a tiny voice in the back of his mind wondering if it’d been the guards. They _hated_ Flynn, and he didn’t doubt they’d hurt the kid to get to him- and by extension- the crown.

Rapunzel’s mouth pressed into a thin line. “What happened?”

Varian’s face screwed up, like he was struggling to remember. “They… s- saved me from the water, but I was… unconscious? I- I think. And when I- when I woke up, they were p- pushin’ down on my chest?” He sounded confused. “It really hurt.”

Ah, so _that_ was it, then. “As painful as it was, it probably saved your life,” Flynn said. “They were keeping your heart beating, kid.”

Varian’s eyes widened. “Y- you can _do_ that? Make someone else’s heart beat?” He looked like he was torn between being nauseous, horrified, and fascinated.

Flynn nodded. “Either way, you’ve probably got a cracked rib or two.”

Unease flashed across Varian’s face. “Hurts when I breathe,” he confirmed. “A- and talk.”

“Then don’t talk,” Flynn instructed, rising to his feet. “Shallow breaths.” 

Rapunzel cast a nervous glance at the unconscious guards. She took her frying pan back from Flynn when he offered it. “We have to go before they wake up,” she murmured.

Without prompting, Flynn bent over and scooped Varian up, murmuring an apology as the kid cried out at the movement. He held Varian as carefully as he could, cradling him to his chest, and was surprised at how light the kid was.

“Alright, let’s get going. This way.”

Flynn turned to lead the way from the campsite, the flicker of the fire fading into the distance. Moving as quickly as he dared with Varian in his arms, he kept them walking along the tree line, far enough from the riverbank to avoid leaving footprints in the mud but not in the actual forest so they wouldn’t snap branches.

Rapunzel followed, hovering close to his side. In the fading light, he could just make out her features, pinched with worry as she scanned Varian’s face. Flynn had to admit, he was worried, too- broken ribs were no laughing matter. But working herself into a frenzy wouldn’t help anything, and might make Varian panic.

“That was some quick thinking back there,” Flynn said, if only to give Rapunzel something else to focus on. “You know, you’re a real pro with that hair.”

He got a faint smile for his efforts. “I’ve had a lot of practice,” Rapunzel said absently.

“I can tell. I’ve also heard you’re pretty handy with that frying pan.” Flynn nodded at the piece of cookery, secured around Rapunzel’s waist with a belt of hair. “What’s the story there, huh? Not exactly the most conventional choice of weapon-”

“Your hand!” Rapunzel said suddenly. “Is that _blood?”_

Flynn followed her gaze to his hand, his heart jolting at the bright smear of red. He winced; he hadn’t realized the cut was bleeding; the pain had eased into a dull throb he was more or less able to ignore. In Flynn’s arms, Varian made a noise of distaste and turned his face away.

“Ah, yeah, don’t worry about it,” Flynn assured them, nonchalant. “I just cut my hand on the rocks back there, in the tunnel.”

Rapunzel’s eyes widened. “Why didn’t you say anything?” she asked.

Flynn found her concern oddly touching. “It’s not bad, and we had more pressing matters,” he explained. “Besides, it’s not like we could do anything for it out here.”

“Oh, Eugene…” Rapunzel’s expression softened. “Let’s find a safe place to make camp, and then we’ll take care of it after I see to Varian, okay?”

Flynn blinked. “… okay?” 

Two things; she was calling him Eugene now? When had they decided on _that?_ And as for his hand- what exactly did she think _she_ could do about it? Not to mention Varian’s _ribs?_

… damn, that was more than two things. He was too tired for this.

Varian piped up from Flynn’s arms, his voice thick with confusion. _“Eugene?_ Wha- what’re you t- talkin’ about, your name’s Flynn?”

Flynn sighed. _Just_ what he needed right now... “Shh, just rest. I’ll tell you later, alright?”

“Promise?” Varian murmured, his gaze clouded.

“Yes, I-” Flynn caught Rapunzel’s eye, noting the tension there, and he offered a small, genuine smile. “I promise,” he said gently.

Rapunzel seemed satisfied with that. Varian did too, letting out a quiet sigh and relaxing further in Flynn’s arms. There were still tears glistening on his cheeks, and Flynn’s heart went out to him. The poor kid had been through a lot.

They continued in silence, and he allowed himself a moment to reflect on just how insane all this was.

When Flynn had woken up this morning, way before the sun was in the sky, he’d thought the craziest thing that would ever happen to him would be stealing the crown. Not only had _that_ happened, but he’d narrowly escaped death, plunged off a cliff with a horse, stumbled across a hidden tower and the mysterious siblings within, been knocked out with a frying pan twice, sang showtunes with a bunch of thugs, narrowly escaped death _again,_ burst a dam, almost drowned, and avoided said drowning because his new companion could make her hair glow at will.

Not really anything he could’ve prepared himself for.

On top of that, he found he was actually getting attached to these two. Maybe it was the shared near-death experience, but somewhere along the way he’d stopped seeing the whole thing as an inconvenience, and more like… well, _what_ exactly, he wasn’t sure, but he did know he no longer wanted to try and trick them out of the deal they’d made.

Rapunzel’s smile did strange things to his heart and he found her unique mixture of kindness and quiet intensity compelling. Varian’s sweet and curious nature was endearing, from the way he was fascinated by bugs to his willingness to rush headlong into a swordfight. And the love the two had for each other, something Flynn had been annoyed with at first, pulled at him like nothing he’d ever felt before. He just wanted to see them happy and safe and…

Flynn _cared_ about them, didn’t he?

… oh, _hell._

What a day.

~*~

_can we skip past near-death clichés_  
_where my heart restarts, as my life replays?_  
_all i want is to flip a switch  
_ _before something breaks that cannot be fixed_

_down my arms, a thousand satellites_  
_suddenly discover signs of life_

~*~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Did you know that most of the time, CPR will break ribs? Cause I didn't until I was getting certified for my preschool job last year, lmao. Also, before anyone brings it up, Rapunzel is _not_ the name the king and queen gave her as a baby. It is the name Gothel gave her, same with Varian. So the guards wouldn’t recognize the name. (And speaking of names, I gave the Captain of the Royal Guards the same name I use for him in my _Rewrite the Stars_ series. Kudos if you get the easter-egg! Also, the names for the other guards were suggested by the Tangled discord server.)
> 
> And yes, I know it’s kinda weird that they don’t recognize Rapunzel anyways. I mean, a girl with long blonde hair, the same age as the missing princess would be, and no one puts two and two together? But in all fairness, the entire kingdom is probably convinced she’s dead, and has been convinced for years, so the possibility probably didn’t even occur to the guards. And with Varian declaring himself her brother, that would further throw them off the trail, since they have no way of knowing they aren’t biological siblings. Also, that’s just how the movie went, so I’m gonna go with ‘willing suspension of disbelief’ for this one, haha. 
> 
> **IMPORTANT:** Hey guys, I appreciate the enthusiasm, but please don't leave comments asking about updates. I have a regular schedule that I stick to; I update every other Friday and have been doing so for months now. I haven't missed an update yet and I don't intend to, but if real life gets in the way I'll let you guys know. So asking me when I'll update next or saying 'I hope you update soon' or even 'omg you updated!' is just kinda pointless, and I won't be replying to those types of comments from now on. Thank you for understanding.
> 
> So sorry for the long note, please comment if you liked it and I'll see you next time! - Aqua


	23. without a yesterday

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Title: _without a yesterday_  
>  Rating: G  
> Warnings: minor mentions of violence/death, minor injury mention, minor language  
> Summary: Flynn has some startling revelations, Rapunzel makes a difficult choice, and change is in the air. There’s just something about a campfire.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Hey readers! Thank you as always for your lovely feedback. I really do appreciate it, especially since I know two weeks is a bit of a wait for updates. Keep it up! At the moment, the movie is supposed to last until Chapter Thirty, at which point Part 3 will begin with the series timeline. So, we're getting there, haha.
> 
> Lyrics at the end from 'Yesterday", by Imagine Dragons (for a change!) - Aqua

__

_without a yesterday_

~*~

Flynn adjusted his grip on the bundle of firewood in his arms, ducking under a tree branch as he made his way back to the campsite.

After walking for another hour or so, they’d stumbled upon a little clearing, framed by a massive oak and a fallen log. There was a patch of dirt that would do nicely for a firepit, since Flynn didn’t fancy setting the entire forest on fire.

Flynn had carefully deposited Varian beside the tree before going to gather some firewood. Everyone was still a bit damp from the flood, and the temperature was dropping now that the sun had set. Flynn knew firsthand how dangerous the elements could be, and though there was a possibility that the fire would give them away to the guards, it couldn’t be avoided.

When he came back, Rapunzel was in the process of wrapping Varian up in her hair. It almost looked like she was trying to bandage him with it, securing it around his cracked ribcage. That, or she was cocooning him.

Flynn was going to comment on the strangeness of it, but there was such a seriousness to the way Rapunzel was going about her task. It was slightly unnerving. So, he stayed quiet and started building the campfire, favoring his injured hand. 

At one point, Varian let out a small cry of pain.

Rapunzel winced. “Sorry!”

“Is’alright,” Varian mumbled. He looked like he was barely hanging onto consciousness.

Rapunzel’s face was tight with unhappiness. “I’m so sorry this happened, Varian,” she said quietly. “We never should’ve left. We can go back home first thing tomorrow and-”

“What?” Varian sat up, cringing in pain. “No, we c- can’t quit yet!”

Rapunzel creased her brows together. “Are you sure?”

Varian nodded, looking determined through the pain and fatigue. “Wanna… k- keep goin’,” he insisted.

Rapunzel chewed her lip, glancing over at Flynn hesitantly. He realized with a start she was deferring to him, silently asking him what _he_ thought they should do. For a moment, he was too surprised to reply. He had a feeling Rapunzel had picked up on the stunt he’d tried to pull at the Snuggly Duckling, getting them to spook and give up on the quest. And yet, she was trusting him to give a genuine opinion about what they should do.

Perhaps even more surprising to Flynn was the private realization he wasn’t leaping at the opportunity to get his satchel back sooner. Earlier that day, he wouldn’t have hesitated. In fact, he would’ve been _overjoyed_ at the prospect of an easy out. He would’ve gotten the siblings back to their tower faster than you could say _gesundheit_ and been on his merry way.

But that was before.

Flynn shrugged. “Hey, up to you guys,” he said, making it clear in his tone he wasn’t going to push either way. If they felt they were up for it, he’d see the deal through to the end. Though personally, he felt that since they’d already come so far... might as well keep going.

Rapunzel studied him for a moment, and something in her expression changed. “Alright,” she relented, turning back to Varian. “Let’s just get you healed, then.”

Before Flynn could even ask what she meant by _healed,_ Varian gasped suddenly. He put an arm out to stop Rapunzel, looking nervously at Flynn like he’d just noticed he was there. “W- wait, Rapunzel-”

Rapunzel gently quieted him. “Shh, it’s okay, he already knows.” She glanced over at Flynn, a bit of unease flickering across her own gaze. “Well, he… mostly knows,” she amended.

Warily, Varian gave a short nod and settled back down.

Flynn frowned. “Uh, what do you mean _mostly?”_ he asked, sitting down on the log. “There’s more?”

Rapunzel didn’t answer. Instead, she handed him a lock of her hair. “Wrap this around your hand.”

“Why?” Flynn asked, even as he wound the hair around his palm.

Settling beside him upon the fallen log, Rapunzel took a deep breath before meeting his gaze hesitantly. “Just… don’t freak out,” she told him.

Well. That didn’t fill Flynn with much confidence. But at this point, he doubted anything could be crazier then what he’d already been through that day. So he figured that whatever it was, he could handle it, and gave Rapunzel a small nod.

With one last reassuring look, Rapunzel closed her eyes and began to sing.

Flynn recognized it after a moment. It was the same tune from the tunnel, but this time it was slow, deliberate, weaving each word like silk in the air. Rapunzel’s voice rang out soft through the clearing, in a haunting way that sent chills down his spine.

Her hair started to glow with that golden light from the tunnel, and even though Flynn was expecting it this time, it was still a jarring sight. It ran lazily along her hair like a river, lighting up the whole clearing.

__

_“Flower, gleam and glow_  
_let your power shine  
_ _make the clock reverse  
_ _bring back what once was mine.”_

Gradually, the light reached the strands of hair wrapped around Flynn’s hand. His skin tingled, and then the dull throb of pain from the cut began to ease. Confused, he looked back up at Rapunzel, but she was deaf to the world, almost trance-like as she sang.

Flynn felt his heart miss a beat. Her expression was smooth, untroubled, like the world itself was at peace. Her glowing hair created a halo of light around her face, her long lashes casting shadows across her cheeks.

In this moment, Rapunzel was ethereal.

_“Heal what has been hurt_  
_change the fate’s design_  
_save what has been lost  
_ _bring back what once was mine_  
_what once was mine.”_

Rapunzel finished singing, the echo of her words settling in the air like mist. The light faded from her hair gently, like the setting sun. Finally, she opened her eyes again and met Flynn’s gaze, uncertain, before she glanced down at his hand.

It took Flynn a second to react, shaking himself out of his daze. Slowly, he unraveled the hair from his hand. His eyes widened, breath catching in his throat. Where the cut had once been, there was just smooth, unbroken skin, like the injury had never even existed. For a moment, he could only stare, convinced it had to be some trick of the light or his tired eyes.

It was _impossible._ And yet here they were.

Flynn’s mind finally finished processing, and he opened his mouth-

“Please don’t freak out!” Rapunzel said quickly, making Flynn bite back his urge to scream.

“He’s freakin’ out,” Varian declared.

Flynn whipped around to face Varian. “You!” His voice was strained, even to his own ears. “Your ribs, how- how are your ribs?”

Varian actually looked amused as he slipped out of the hair, tugging his shirt up to reveal pale, unbruised skin. “All better,” he confirmed.

Flynn broke out into a nervous- and, frankly, hysterical sounding- laugh. _Cracked ribs,_ healed just like that. “I’m not freaking out, are you freaking out?” he chattered. _“No,_ I’m just very interested in your hair and the magical qualities it possesses, how long has it been doing that, _exactly?”_

Rapunzel, to her credit, just shrugged, a faint smile tugging at her lips. “Uh… forever, I guess?” Her expression sobered. “Mother said that when I was a baby, people tried to cut it. They wanted to take it for themselves. But… once it’s cut, it turns brown and loses its power.” She reached up and brushed her hair away from the back of her neck, revealing a short strand of brown. “A gift like that… has to be protected. That’s why Mother never let me…” She paused, her face crumpling. “That’s why… I never left, and…”

Rapunzel trailed off, closing her eyes. From his spot on the ground, Varian reached up and took her hand, his gaze misty.

Flynn’s chest felt tight. “You never left that tower.”

Rapunzel opened her eyes to meet Flynn’s gaze, her expression pained and uncertain and so heartbreakingly vulnerable it immediately sent Flynn way out of his depths. It was like he’d waded into a clear pond only to be plunged miles below the surface, its shallows nothing but an illusion of light.

His stomach dropped as he realized he was right. It all suddenly made terrible, terrible sense. The wariness, the suspicion, the fear. The back and forth conflict over their decision. Rapunzel’s overprotectiveness and Varian’s fascination. The over-the-top reactions to anything and everything- god, even the _shoe_ thing.

They’d never set foot outside that tower.

Flynn was suddenly struck with a sense of wrongness so intense it nearly stole his breath away. Today was the first time they’d ever felt grass beneath their feet, wind in their hair, sun on their faces. It wasn’t right. No matter the circumstances, no matter any magical hair that had to be kept secret, it was inexcusable.

What kind of person could do that? How could anyone think that was even remotely okay-

“You were supposed’t tell a- a story, Eugene,” Varian spoke up suddenly, his faint, drowsy voice managing to sound pointed.

Rapunzel perked up. “That’s right! _Eugene Fitzherbert,_ huh?” Her forced nonchalance was as subtle as a white-knuckled grip on a lifeline.

Flynn realized instantly what’d happened. Varian had been uncomfortable with the conversation- whether for his sake or Rapunzel’s- so he’d changed the subject to something Flynn couldn’t just brush off. And Rapunzel had jumped on it right after, making it even more likely to stick.

It was a smart play, especially coming from a kid who was barely clinging to consciousness. Basic redirection- but how had _they_ learned it?

In any case, Flynn let it slide. “Oh, jeeze, back on that, are we?” he asked, rolling his eyes. And now maybe he was the one pretending to be casual. “Are you sure? Cause the sob story of poor orphan Eugene Fitzherbert is a little bit of a… well, it’s a little bit of a downer.”

“You _promised,”_ Varian sang.

Damn. Flynn couldn’t say no to that.

He held his hands up in surrender. “Alright, alright, if you’re sure, then,” he relented. He took a deep breath. “It started with the book. _The Tales of Flynnigan Rider._ I used to read it every night to the younger kids, and there was just something about it… I looked up to him, I guess. Swashbuckling rogue, richest man alive, not too bad with the ladies, either- not that he’d ever brag about it, of course. So I took the name.” He glanced over at Varian. “I’m… not actually the Flynn Rider from the books.”

Varian nodded slowly. “Yeah, I… I kinda figured. When th- the guards were chasin’ us.”

Flynn gave him an apologetic smile. “Sorry to disappoint, kid.”

Varian jerked his shoulder in a shrug, his eyelids drooping. “S’okay,” he slurred, pulling Rapunzel’s hair back over him like a blanket. “You’re cooler, anyways…”

And with that, Varian was asleep. He hadn’t even bothered to take his gloves off.

Flynn stared for a moment, oddly touched by the words. Considering what a fanatic Varian had been when Flynn met him, that was pretty high praise. And it _shouldn’t_ have mattered, because the whole thing was silly anyways and he barely knew this kid, but… it did.

And Flynn could worry about what _that_ meant later.

Rapunzel spoke up tentatively. “I… haven’t read the books in a while, but… the original Flynn Rider wasn’t a thief, was he?”

Flynn was taken aback. He hadn’t expected Rapunzel to bring that up, and for a moment he just looked at her, trying to figure out her intentions. She… didn’t seem to be judging him for it. No condescension… or _pity,_ cause that was even worse sometimes. Just… a willingness to understand.

“… well, no,” he admitted. “Actually, he had enough money that he could do whatever he wanted to do, he could go anywhere he wanted to go. And- and- and for a kid, with nothing… I don’t know, I…” His throat tightened, and he lowered his gaze, staring at his hands. He didn’t know why this was so hard to talk about. “… just seemed like the better option.”

Rapunzel hummed thoughtfully, and when Flynn looked up again, there was nothing but compassion in those bright green eyes. It made Flynn feel bare, exposed- like a small animal in an open field, and he quickly darted back into the cover of humor.

“You can’t tell anyone about this, okay?” Flynn pulled a face. “It could ruin my whole reputation.”

“Ah.” Rapunzel nodded in mock seriousness. Playing along. “We wouldn’t want that.”

Flynn grinned. “Well, a fake reputation is all a man has.”

Rapunzel chuckled, and when she quieted, there was a shift in the air. It felt warm and comfortable and familiar. Like joking around with a friend, despite only having just met. Rapunzel’s gaze was earnest and bright, and for the first time it seemed like she’d managed to shake off the horrible events from earlier.

It made Flynn regret what he was about to do even more, but he had to know.

“Rapunzel?” Flynn hesitated. “About the tower… you’re still going to go back?”

The humor faded from Rapunzel’s eyes. “… yes,” she said after a moment. “It’s… where we belong. It’s the only place we can be safe.” She glanced down at Varian’s sleeping form, loving and concerned and resigned all at once. “The only place Varian can be safe.”

Flynn’s heart twisted at her expression. “Look, I- I know today was hard. I can’t imagine what that must’ve been like for you, for both of you. And I know I don’t know the whole story. But that doesn’t mean you have to hide away from the world.” Taking a chance, he reached out and covered Rapunzel’s hand with his own. “Is that really what you want?”

Rapunzel stared at their hands for a moment, her eyes wide. Several emotions clashed on her face, too fast for Flynn to name.

“You don’t understand.” She pulled her hand back and glanced away. “Um, the fire’s getting a little low.”

The rejection was loud and clear. Flynn tried not to feel hurt. “… yeah, okay,” he said, rising to his feet. “I’ll get some firewood.”

Flynn only gotten a few steps when Rapunzel’s quiet voice made him look over. 

“Hey.”

She still looked uncertain, but there was a glimmer in her eyes. “For the record? I like Eugene Fitzherbert much better than Flynn Rider.”

The words were said with a small, tentative smile- slightly apologetic, but imploring. An apology and a request for understanding and a promise of _something_ all wrapped up in one.

Flynn smiled in return, and it was surprisingly easy to make it genuine. “Well… then, you’d be the first,” he replied softly. “But thank you.”

Turning away, Flynn headed into the underbrush. He had to remind himself to actually look for firewood, too distracted by the way his mind was still spinning and his stomach was flipping. He told himself it was because of how overwhelmed he was, that he was still just shocked by his magically healed hand and that it had nothing to do with Rapunzel’s smile.

And even as the crackling of the campfire faded away, Flynn told himself the heat in his cheeks was from the flames.

~*~

Rapunzel watched Eugene leave.

She… wasn’t quite sure to make of it all. So much had happened, she felt like she hadn’t even had a chance to _breathe_ since leaving the tower. But she did know enough to recognize the spark she felt when Eugene looked at her. There was something there. Something intriguing and exhilarating and daunting all at once, and despite the uncertainty, Rapunzel wanted to explore it.

It seemed like Eugene did, too. That had to mean something.

“Well, I thought he’d _never_ leave.”

The voice jerked Rapunzel from her thoughts, making her gasp. She sprang to her feet, spinning around on her heel.

_“Mother?”_

Mother stood a little ways off, radiating dark satisfaction. Her hair was streaked with gray, wrinkles pinched around her features. Her steely gaze took Rapunzel in quickly, flickering to Varian and back again. She smiled.

“Hello, dear.”

For a second, Rapunzel was certain she was dreaming. Mother wasn’t supposed to be anywhere _near_ here. “But I- I don’t… how did you _find_ us?”

Mother shrugged. “Oh, it was easy, _really,”_ she purred. “I just listened to the sound of complete and utter betrayal and followed that.”

That wasn’t an answer. A chill ran down Rapunzel’s spine; how long had she been following them? “Mother-”

“We’re going home, Rapunzel,” Mother said sternly. “Now, wake your brother up and let’s go.”

_“No.”_

The word escaped Rapunzel’s mouth before she’d processed it. It was so quiet it might’ve been mistaken for a whisper, if not for the intensity behind it.

Mother stared at her.

Rapunzel stopped breathing as she realized what she’d done. It was like the whole forest had fallen silent. The crackling of the campfire and Varian’s gentle breathing was suddenly deafening, roaring in Rapunzel’s ears. The moment stretched out between them, like a canyon carving itself deeper and deeper. 

“… no?” Mother asked softly. Dangerously.

Rapunzel almost broke right then and there. Every instinct was telling her to back down, to do anything to make Mother happy again. Instead, she forced herself to straighten her back, looking Mother in the eye even as she trembled. After everything they’d been through, she couldn’t let this go.

“No,” Rapunzel repeated, fighting to keep her voice from shaking. “We… can’t go back. Not yet.”

Mother’s eyes narrowed. “Care to explain, dear?”

Rapunzel stumbled over the words. “We… we’ve been on this incredible journey, and have seen and learned so much… and we’re so close. The lanterns are tomorrow. I just… I need to see them,” she pleaded, a despairing note in her voice despite her best efforts.

Realization dawned in Mother’s eyes. “So this is about the lights, then,” she said lowly, her nose wrinkled with distaste. She gave Rapunzel a considering look. “How about this? You and Varian leave with me now. I will take you to see the lights tomorrow night, and then head straight back home. I will forgive your disobedience, and that’ll be the last of it. Everything will go back to the way it was.”

It was tempting. It was incredibly tempting- not only would Rapunzel still get to fulfill her dream, but Mother was offering forgiveness, for both her and Varian.

She should take the deal, she knew she should.

_And yet._

“There’s… more.” Rapunzel took a deep breath. “I’ve met someone.”

Mother rolled her eyes. “Yes, the wanted thief, I’m so _proud.”_

Rapunzel bit her lip. “I think… I think he likes me,” she confessed, a tentative smile playing on her lips.

“Likes you?” Mother scoffed. “Please, Rapunzel, that’s demented. Why would he like you? I mean, _really?_ Just _look_ at you. Besides, he’s a thief. He only cares about himself.”

Rapunzel flinched, desperately holding onto the small flicker of hope inside her chest. “You don’t know him like I do,” she said, her voice wavering.

Mother raised her eyebrows at that. She approached slowly, deliberately, and Rapunzel had to stop herself from scrambling backwards. Mother stopped just before her, dragging her gaze up and down Rapunzel critically- disappointed, condescending. And almost amused, like a cat toying with a mouse.

Mother leaned in close, speaking in Rapunzel’s ear. “You think you’ve got it all figured out, don’t you?” she murmured, her lip curling in a knowing smirk. “One day outside, and suddenly you’re so mature, so clever, so grown-up. But darling, _trust_ me; you have _no idea_ how the world works.” She pulled away. “He doesn’t care about you. He’s only after one thing.”

Mother reached inside her cloak and drew out a familiar leather satchel.

Rapunzel’s stomach dropped. “Where did you get that?”

Mother’s grin sharpened. “Not as clever as we thought, are we, sweetheart?” she tutted, false sympathy dripping from her voice. She said the words slowly, savoring them. “Give it to him, and you’ll see. He will leave you without a second thought.”

Rapunzel swallowed. “He won’t.”

It sounded a lot less certain that she would have liked.

Mother tilted her head. “Let’s put that to the test, shall we?” She pressed the satchel into Rapunzel’s hands, draping the strap around her neck. “I won’t say I told you so. But when I’m proven right, don’t come crying. And remember,” she added over her shoulder as she turned away, “I tried to warn you.”

Rapunzel gathered her resolve. “I’ll give it to him,” she said, lifting her chin. “And you’ll see that you’re wrong about him.”

Mother’s expression twisted into something truly terrifying, all pretenses dropped until there was just the cold, hard glint of a knife in her eyes. It was a look that cut Rapunzel to her very core.

“I’m never wrong, dear.”

And with that, Mother disappeared into the mist.

Rapunzel stood there, her knees trembling, clutching the satchel to her chest. She let out a shaky breath, her mind spinning. Had she made the right choice?

“Rapunzel…?”

Rapunzel’s heart jolted. She whirled around, hiding the satchel behind her back. _“Varian.”_

Varian was looking around blearily. It was clear he was very much out of it, his eyes hazy and confused. “I- I thought I heard Mother,” he said, creasing his brows together.

Rapunzel hesitated. He… hadn’t seen what’d happened?

But she knew what’d happen if she told him. If he even _thought_ there was a chance Mother knew what they were doing, he’d fall to pieces. She couldn’t do that to him, couldn’t ruin this for him. It’d be better to wait until they had returned home, so he wouldn’t make himself sick with panic as they traveled all the way back. And he would want to go back, he’d want to go home straight away to try and ease the amount of trouble they’d be in. Everything they’d done would have been for nothing.

Making her choice, Rapunzel crouched down beside Varian, running a hand over his hair. “Shh, it was just a dream,” she said softly. “Go back to sleep.”

“M’kay…” Varian murmured, his eyes slipping closed again. “Love you.”

Rapunzel’s heart twisted. “I love you, too.”

Varian was asleep again in moments, his face slack as his breathing deepened and evened out.

Regret immediately seared through Rapunzel, her eyes stinging with sudden tears. She’d _never_ kept secrets from Varian, unless it was something like a birthday surprise. It just wasn’t what they did. It was unthinkable. It was wrong and it made her feel like the most despicable person in the world, to betray his trust in her.

But if she told him, she’d never get to see the lanterns.

 _Selfish,_ a voice in the back of her mind hissed. It sounded a lot like Mother.

“So, hey, uh… can I ask you something?”

Eugene’s voice was still a ways off, but it made Rapunzel jump. Her panic returned tenfold as her hands tightened around the satchel. Suddenly, what she’d told Mother didn’t matter; she couldn’t let him see it.

Looking around quickly, she spotted a tree stump and raced over to it, stashing the satchel behind it. She’d just hurried back to the campsite when she heard Eugene emerge from the underbrush.

“Rapunzel?”

Rapunzel turned to face him, holding a finger to her lips. “Shh.” She tilted her head at Varian.

“Oh, sorry,” Eugene whispered. He studied her face, brows furrowing. “Hey, you alright?” he asked, quieter.

Rapunzel forced a smile. “Yes, just… tired.”

It was hard to tell if Eugene was convinced or not, but he simply nodded and crouched down by the fire, adding to the pile of burning wood from the stack in his arms. Rapunzel sat back down on the log, inhaling slowly through her nose as she willed her heartbeat to slow.

Eugene spoke up again after a moment, keeping his gaze on the fire and his voice deliberately casual. “So, uh, I was just wondering… does Varian have the whole magic hair thing, too?”

Rapunzel tensed, looking over at Varian’s sleeping form. Her gut instinct was to lie, to protect Varian’s secret. She remembered what Mother had told her, what she’d told both of them; there were people willing to kill Varian because of his power.

But… Eugene already knew _her_ secret. She hadn’t really had a choice in telling him since their lives had depended on it, but as she really thought about it, she found she didn’t regret it. There was no indication he was going to try and take advantage, to take the power for himself like Mother had always warned her about.

Rapunzel… _trusted_ him.

More so, she wasn’t sure Eugene would believe her if she tried to lie. He seemed to know how to read people. But telling him about Varian’s power didn’t sit right with her. Her conscious was already heavy, and being the one to tell Eugene would be an even greater betrayal.

“That’s… it’s not my place to say,” she decided. “You’ll have to ask Varian about it tomorrow.” She returned her gaze to Eugene, setting her jaw. “And I need you to respect whatever answer he gives you.”

“Hey, no worries, I won’t push it,” Eugene assured her. “Now, is there any chance I’m gonna get super strength in my hand? Cause I’m not gonna lie, that would be stupendous.”

Rapunzel was grateful for the change in subject, and managed a laugh. “Heh, I don’t think it works like that,” she said.

“Now that’s a crying shame,” Eugene lamented. “I mean, because, here’s the thing. Superhuman good looks? I’ve always had ‘em. Born with it. But superhuman strength? Could you _imagine_ the possibilities of this?”

The tension gradually left Rapunzel’s shoulders as they slipped into light, easy small talk. It was a bit more tentative than before, not as genuine- but maybe that was a good thing. She didn’t think her nerves could handle anything else. So, she was content to quietly joke around with Eugene as the fire roared between them before they eventually dropped off to sleep.

(And all the while, she tried not to look at the satchel’s hiding place and ignored the tight knot of guilt in her stomach.)

~*~

The sun hadn’t risen yet when Flynn woke up.

A few wispy clouds hung low in the gray sky above him, barely visible through the trees. All around him, the forest was filled with life and activity, branches shaking and leaves rustling. For a moment he just laid there, letting his body get used to the idea of being awake.

Finally, he sat up groggily, stretching his sore muscles. He was used to sleeping on the ground, but yesterday had been a bit much, even for him. His clothes had dried a bit stiff, and he took a moment to brush off all the dirt and leaves that’d gotten stuck to him.

Stifling a yawn, Flynn looked around the campsite. His gaze drifted from the ashy remains of the fire to Rapunzel’s sleeping form to Varian- sitting upright and staring off into the trees. He had a pensive look on his face, his pale blue eyes far away.

“Morning,” Flynn greeted him softly. “Bit early, isn’t it?”

Varian had startled at Flynn’s voice, but relaxed when he realized who it was. “Had a weird dream,” he replied, his voice slightly hoarse. “Couldn’t sleep.”

“Ah.” Flynn nodded. “Well, you excited for today?”

Varian’s eyes lit up at that. “Yeah!” he said happily. “Rapunzel’s gonna _love_ seeing the lanterns.”

Flynn tilted his head. “What about you?”

Varian considered the question, his brows creasing together thoughtfully. “Well, I- I’m curious about them, but I’m also just curious about the kingdom in general,” he explained. “But uh, the- the lanterns are really _her_ dream, I’m just- I’m just kind of along for the ride. I’m happy it’s finally happening for her,” he added softly, looking over at his sister fondly.

Flynn smiled. It was heartwarming to see how much they cared about each other, especially considering last night’s revelation. They’d had no one but each other their entire lives, not including this mother Flynn still didn’t know much of.

That reminded him. “So, last night got me thinking…” Flynn started out as casually as he could, not wanting to put pressure on Varian. “You wouldn’t happen to share Rapunzel’s magical abilities, would you?”

Varian’s eyes widened. He was frozen for a moment as he quite visibly argued with himself, trying to decide how to respond.

Flynn wasn’t surprised. It was a big decision, after all. Rapunzel had, more or less, no choice about revealing her powers. And though it was looking more and more like Varian had _some kind_ of power as well, it was all just based off of suspicion. If Varian decided not to tell Flynn anything, nothing could really come of it. But if he did? Well, considering what Rapunzel had said the night before, it was a huge risk.

Again; a big decision. So Flynn waited patiently.

“Kind of,” Varian said finally. “Mine is… different.”

“Oh?” Flynn was touched Varian had decided to tell him, but maintained his politely curious appearance. He didn’t wanna make the kid uncomfortable. “How so?”

Varian chewed his lip. “My… my hair _does_ glow, when I sing _my_ song, but… it’s my hands that have the magic.” He exhaled shakily. “Mother said that I was born with a terrible curse. Rapunzel’s power is to help people, to make them young, and- and healthy, but _mine…_ my power is to _drain_ life until there’s nothing left. That’s why I wear these gloves, so I- so I don’t hurt anyone.”

Flynn blinked. “I’m- I’m sorry, what?” he asked, his brows furrowing. “What do you mean ‘drain’ life?”

Varian made a noncommittal noise, picking at his gloves. “It’s like- like an accelerated rate of aging,” he explained. “I’ve… tried it on a plant, before. Once. I touched it while singing my song, and it started to turn brown and wither.” His expression was troubled. “But I also found out that if the spell isn’t completed, the effects reverse.” He met Flynn’s gaze again, wary. Waiting for his reaction.

Flynn considered it. “Wait, if you’ve only tried it on a plant then how do you know for sure it could hurt people?” he pointed out.

Varian gave Flynn an odd look, like he’d never thought about that before. “Mother told me,” he said simply, as if it were the most obvious thing in the world. “She- she explained it all when I was little. If it happened to a person, they’d start to age rapidly. Like, their hair turns grey and their skin gets all wrinkled and then their body just… breaks down. They wither away into dust.”

Flynn’s heart jolted. He kept his expression neutral, though, sensing that Varian was nervously watching him. Flynn didn’t want to scare him by reacting badly.

But this was… Flynn didn’t know _what_ to think about it. It was a daunting prospect, for sure. Hard to believe? _Yeah._ But he was beginning to learn that the word _impossible_ was more like a suggestion with these two. So maybe Varian could turn people to dust. Disturbing.

Despite this, Flynn didn’t feel nearly as… how had they put it? Freaked out? Because it was one thing to see your hand magically heal before your eyes. But listening to Varian talk about it… it was kind of hard to reconcile such dangerous-sounding magic with the kid in front of him. Flynn didn’t think he could be scared of Varian, even if he had scary powers.

In fact, he found himself concerned for Varian. His mother had explained that to him as a young child? That sounded like enough to give _anyone_ nightmares.

A thought occurred to Flynn. “How would she know that?” he asked.

It immediately set Varian on the defensive. “W- what do you mean?” he demanded, sounding hurt. “I- she just- she wouldn’t _lie_ to me!”

“I’m not saying she did,” Flynn said quickly, his voice soothing. “But considering you’ve never really used them, maybe she’s wrong about-”

Varian was already shaking his head. “No, no that’s- Mother’s always right, okay? She wouldn’t be wrong about something like this.” His voice cracked. “She _wouldn’t.”_

Flynn backed off. Clearly, this was a touchy subject. “Alright.” He shrugged. “So, what’s the story, then? Magic runs in the family, or something? Cause I’m imagining the odds of having two magical kids are real slim.”

Varian was calmer now, but still a bit cautious. “That’s… it’s not like that,” he said quietly. “When I was a baby, people tried to kill me for my powers. They were scared I would hurt people, that I was too dangerous.” His expression was pained, and he lowered his gaze. “But Mother knew that I was good, that I could _be_ good, so she brought me home to protect me. She took me in as her own. I owe her… everything.”

Flynn turned the words over in his mind. “Wait, so you and Rapunzel are…?”

“She’s my sister.” There was a certain edge to Varian’s voice, as if challenging Flynn to disagree. “At- at least, in the ways that matter.”

Flynn nodded slowly, understanding. “So she had Rapunzel?”

“Yeah,” Varian said. “But- but I’m still her son, even if she didn’t give birth to me.”

Flynn paused. It’d almost sounded like Varian was trying to convince himself. It gave Flynn an unsettled feeling in his stomach, and he started thinking back on all the other little things he’d noticed; their fear that their mother would find out what they were doing, Rapunzel’s overprotectiveness, the way Varian had leapt to her defense despite how distraught it’d made him.

 _Not to mention,_ the whole ‘keeping them inside a tower for their whole lives’ thing. Altogether, it didn’t paint a pretty picture.

“So, your mother,” Flynn ventured carefully. “Does she… does she treat you two okay?”

Varian looked surprised. “Oh, of course!” he assured Flynn earnestly. “Mother keeps us fed, clothed, and safe from all the dangers of the outside world. And- and she’s _never_ laid a hand on either of us.”

Flynn winced. In his experience, no kid with a healthy home life would even _think_ about bringing that up. “Look, kid, that’s… kind of the bare minimum for a parent, alright?”

Varian bristled. “How would _you_ know?”

Flynn exhaled slowly.

Alright. Yes, he was an orphan. And maybe he wasn’t as at peace with that as he’d like to believe. But he was used to people throwing it in his face. There was a time when that was all anyone saw him as, and he’d had to fight tooth and nail to not let it define him anymore, to make a name for himself.

And maybe he hadn’t gone about it the best way. Maybe being a renowned thief was worse than being nothing but an orphan. But he’d made this life for himself and no one could take that away from him.

Varian was lashing out. Flynn knew this. He couldn’t bring himself to be angry at the kid for it, and he took no offense. But he’d be lying if he said he wasn’t disappointed.

When Flynn spoke, his voice sounded tired, even to his own ears. “Okay. If you say everything’s fine, I believe you.” He met Varian’s gaze evenly. “But just so you know… I’m here if you ever wanna talk.”

Several emotions clashed on Varian’s face. Shock, disbelief, regret. He seemed to be at a total loss for words, like Flynn’s response had been the last thing he’d expected. Swallowing, he glanced away, wiping at his eyes with the back of his glove.

Before Flynn could venture to break the silence, Rapunzel stirred from her spot on the ground. She pushed herself upright, slipping out of her hair and rubbing at her eyes.

“Mmm, good morning!” Rapunzel, inexplicably, seemed wide-awake from the second she opened her eyes, sparkling with energy. She beamed at them. “Looks like you two are ready to go.”

All traces of hurt had vanished from Varian’s expression. “Yep!” he replied cheerfully, catching Flynn’s eye. There was a silent plea in his gaze.

Flynn swallowed the lump in his throat and managed a smile.

“Yeah, let’s get moving.”

~*~

__

_all these years i've been searching_  
_for who i'm supposed to be  
_ _all that time i've been wasting  
_ _'cause i was right in front of me_

__

_here's to my future, here's to my yesterday_  
_here's to change, oh, here's to my yesterday_  
_no tomorrow without a yesterday  
_ _here's to my future, goodbye to yesterday_

~*~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Okay, so we _were_ supposed to meet Maximus this chapter, but things just got way too long. Don’t worry, he’ll still be in the story! Just, next time, heheh. Please remember to leave a comment if you enjoyed, and I'll see you next time! - Aqua


	24. build the fire

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Title: _build the fire_  
>  Rating: G  
> Warnings: none  
> Summary: After a spontaneous meeting with a sentient horse, some downtime in the capital city gives the trio plenty of time to think things over.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Sorry this is a bit later in the day, readers, I had a thing. As always, I wanna thank you all for your continued support, your feedback means the world to me <3 - Aqua

__

_build the fire_

~*~

Varian ducked under a branch, leaves brushing his shirt as he pressed on through the forest.

Beside him, Rapunzel carefully gathered her hair to avoid catching on anything. Eugene walked a few paces ahead of them, leading the way- which Varian was grateful for. He found it hard to meet the man’s gaze after what they’d talked about. The reaction still confused him; he knew that what he’d said was uncalled for, but Eugene hadn’t even gotten mad at him. It was unsettling, like Eugene was just waiting for a moment to bring it up again. Mother did that, sometimes.

Part of Varian was still second-guessing his decision to tell Eugene about his powers. Once they saw the lanterns, returned home, and parted ways, the secret would just be out there in the world. It was a daunting thought.

But another, tiny part of Varian couldn’t help but find it thrilling. That’d been _his_ decision. And though the chance that it could all blow up in his face was terrifying, there was a certain excitement involved. Like the whole thing was a brand-new experiment for him.

Ultimately, Varian had faith Eugene wouldn’t do anything to put him, or Rapunzel, in danger. Besides, there was no way Mother would find out about it, so he didn’t have to worry about that, either-

Rapunzel suddenly caught Varian by the arm, shaking him from his thoughts. They dropped a bit further behind Eugene, Varian giving her a curious look.

“Hey, Varian… are you still up for this?” Rapunzel asked quietly. “I know last night was… intense. I’d understand if you just wanted to go home.”

“What?” Varian frowned. “N- no, Rapunzel, it’s okay. I meant what I said before. The lanterns are tonight, we’re so close. We- we _can’t_ go back now, not when we actually have a chance to fulfill your dream!”

Rapunzel hesitated. “Are you sure?”

“Yeah, I promise,” Varian assured her. “If something was wrong, I’d let you know.”

An unreadable emotion flashed across Rapunzel’s face. “Alright,” she said, dropping her arm.

Varian paused. He knit his brows together, studying Rapunzel’s face. The morning light shining through the trees cast dappled shadows across her features, painting them in an unfamiliar light.

Since leaving the tower, there’d been a new vibrance to her, a reflection of the same spark he’d felt inside himself from the second his feet touched the ground. But at the moment, she looked slightly pale, her cheeks missing their usual warmth, and he could see she’d been chewing at her bottom lip- a nervous habit of hers.

“Are _you_ okay?” Varian asked softly.

Rapunzel blinked, surprise flaring in her bright green eyes, before she gave him a small smile. “Yeah. I’m still just a bit overwhelmed, that’s all,” she sighed. “But I’ll be fine.”

Varian nodded thoughtfully. It made sense she had a lot on her mind. “Okay.” He glanced away as they started to walk again, fidgeting with the hem of his shirt. “So, I uh… I told Eugene about my powers.”

“Yeah?” Rapunzel’s voice held a mixture of hope and apprehension. “How’d it go?”

Varian let out a breath. “Good,” he said decidedly. “He- he didn’t freak out, thankfully. I’m… not sure how much he believed me? About how bad it is? Cause I couldn’t exactly show him, so…” He shrugged. “I don’t know. But I- I think we can trust him? About this.”

Rapunzel nodded slowly. “I think so, too.”

Varian hummed, relived she agreed with him. The fact that Eugene already knew about Rapunzel’s powers had made Varian a little less apprehensive about sharing his own, but he’d still wondered if it was a bad idea.

“Yeah. And hey, Rapunzel?” Varian grinned. “Happy birthday.”

Rapunzel’s eyes widened in surprise, and then realization. She opened her mouth to respond-

A shout rang through the air.

_Eugene._

Varian exchanged a look with Rapunzel before they both bolted, crashing through the underbrush to catch up to Eugene. They broke out into a clearing, looking around wildly for the cause of the scream.

It was the horse from the canyon, the white stallion that’d been with the guards. There were no guards in sight, but it seemed he didn’t need them, as he was currently dragging Eugene away by the boot.

Eugene clawed at the ground, tearing up grass and dirt as the horse pulled him. “No, no, no, put me down!” he cried out in vain. “Stop it, let go!”

Rapunzel gasped and ran after them, diving to grab Eugene by the hands. “Give me him!”

Varian hurried to help her, wrapping his arms around her waist and digging his heels into the ground. Together, they pulled against the horse, Eugene trying to kick the horse off with his free leg. Finally, the boot simply came off, and all three of them fell back in a heap as the horse crashed to the ground the opposite direction.

Varian pushed himself upright, blinking stars from his eyes. Crumpled beside him, Eugene seemed fine, other than the absence of a boot. 

The horse rolled upright, Eugene’s boot clenched between his teeth, and charged.

Rapunzel, the quickest to her feet, rushed forward, putting herself directly in the horse’s path. Varian’s heart jolted, but the horse skidded to a halt, nostrils flaring as he tried to get around her to reach Eugene.

“Woah!” Rapunzel held her hands up. “Woah, woah, woah! Easy, boy, easy! Calm down!”

Eugene scrambled away from the rearing horse, grabbing Varian by the arm to pull him back. But it seemed Rapunzel’s method was working; the horse gradually calmed, pawing at the ground and swishing his tail agitatedly, but no longer attempting to rush past Rapunzel.

“That’s it!” Rapunzel said encouragingly. “Now, sit.” 

The horse flattened his ears at her.

“Sit,” Rapunzel repeated firmly.

After a moment, the horse dropped down onto his haunches. Varian’s eyebrows shot up. From what he’d read, horses were capable of learning several short commands, but he’d never heard of ‘sit’ being one of them. So, was he actually understanding her?

Behind him, Eugene echoed Varian’s surprise. _“What?”_

Rapunzel ignored their reactions, keeping her focus on the horse. “Now drop the boot,” she ordered. At the horse’s reluctance, she pointed a finger at him, pinning him under her hard gaze. _“Drop it.”_

Another heartbeat passed, and the horse let the boot thud to the ground.

“Woah,” Varian breathed. He rose to his feet. “Look at you! What an incredible specimen! I’ve never heard of such intelligence in an animal before, it’s like- it’s like you can understand everything we’re saying!”

The horse pricked his ears at Varian’s voice, turning to give him a startlingly human-like expression of surprise, before looking almost pleased.

Rapunzel nodded earnestly. “He’s such a good boy!” she praised, stroking the horse’s neck.

Varian approached, reaching a tentative hand out to pat the horse’s muzzle. “Oh man, the endurance you must have- not to mention the _skill_ to track us all the way from the canyon! And- and the sword fighting?” He shook his head wonderingly. “It’s- it’s just _amazing.”_

The horse puffed his chest out at that, making Varian giggle.

“Poor boy,” Rapunzel cooed, “you must be tired from chasing the bad man all over the place, huh?”

 _“Excuse me?”_ Eugene sounded offended.

The horse, however, gave a sad nod, prompting Rapunzel to throw her arms around his neck in a hug. “No one appreciates you, do they?” she asked, and then when the horse hesitated, she repeated with emphasis, _“do they?”_

With a great sigh, the horse relented, tucking his head over her shoulder. Varian patted his nose consolingly, clicking his tongue.

“Oh, come _on,”_ Eugene groaned. “He’s a bad horse!”

“Oh, he’s nothing but a big sweetheart!” Rapunzel chided him. “Isn’t that right…” she glanced at the horse’s harness, “Maximus?”

Maximus neighed his agreement, tossing his mane.

“Yeah, Eugene!” Varian called over his shoulder. “He’s the best horse ever!”

“You have _got_ to be kidding me,” Eugene deadpanned.

Rapunzel frowned as Maximus glared at Eugene. “Look,” she said, taking Eugene by the hand to walk him over to Maximus, “today is _kind of_ the biggest day of my life. And the thing is… I need you _not_ to get him arrested.” She held out an imploring hand as Maximus gave an objecting neigh. “Just for twenty-four hours, and then you can chase each other to your heart’s content. Okay?”

Eugene heaved a sigh before reluctantly offering his hand. Maximus gave a derisive snort, turning away. Rapunzel’s face fell, and Varian tilted his head. Well, that just wouldn’t do.

“It’s also her birthday,” he chimed in, giving a little shrug. “Just saying.”

Considering the words, Maximus finally relented. He turned back to Eugene and held a hoof up, allowing Eugene to shake it as if in a hand shake. 

Despite the fact that they looked about ready to kill each other, Rapunzel beamed. “Great! Now we can…” she trailed off, knitting her brows together. “Do you hear that?”

Varian glanced out over the trees, listening. In the distance, he could make out a deep, metallic chiming, a heavy echo ringing through the air. It was almost melodic, a slight change in tone with each toll.

“Bells,” Eugene supplied helpfully, still eyeing Maximus warily. “That means we’re almost there.”

Varian perked up at the words and looked back at Rapunzel, giving her an excited smile.

“Well, let’s go!”

~*~

Rapunzel craned her head up, struggling to take it all in.

The capital isle, as Eugene had called it, sat before them. Heaps of buildings clustered together as far as the eye could see, the green tops of trees poking up between shingled roofs. And at the peak of the island was the castle; an enormous structure of white stone and pale, blue towers that seemed to stretch up into the clouds.

“Varian, just _look_ at it,” Rapunzel breathed.

Beside her, Varian exhaled slowly. “Woah.”

The wonder in his eyes made Rapunzel’s guilt lessen only slightly. Eugene’s satchel, hidden beneath her dress, seemed to press into her skin, the weight of her decision pulling at her like wet hair. It was a lot to keep from Varian, she knew, but it was only for a short while, and telling him now would do much more harm than good.

Still, her heart tightened when Varian took her hand in his as they crossed the final length of the bridge leading to the city. She could only hope he’d understand when it was over.

The city stretched out before them, winding cobblestone paths crowded by lopsided buildings and market stalls and carts on either side. Brightly colored banners and flowery garlands were strung between thatch and wooden roofs, gently curving overhead as people walked below, a lively energy drifting through the air.

Rapunzel felt her breath catch again at the sight. There was so much to look at, she didn’t know where to start-

There was a sharp yank on the back of her head. Rapunzel yelped in pain and surprise, her hands going to her hair as she turned around. Several people were stepping on or over her hair, startling when they realized it was there and giving her curious looks.

Rapunzel suddenly realized that seventy feet of hair might not be very practical in a city like this, and hurriedly went to gather it all up.

Varian jumped in instantly to help her, scooping her hair up off the cobblestones. Arms full of hair, he stood close to her side, glancing up at her with a question in his expression.

Eugene and Maximus caught up, the problem immediately apparent to them. Eugene’s brows were creased in thought as he pondered the situation. He looked around, before his gaze fell on something, and he gestured for Rapunzel and Varian to follow him.

Rapunzel bit her lip. “Hey, Max?” she called over her shoulder to the horse. “Can you please make sure no guards come our way? Keep them off our backs?”

Maximus didn’t look thrilled at the prospect, but he nickered his agreement and trotted off into the crowd.

That taken care of, Rapunzel and Varian continued after Eugene. He led them into a wide clearing framed by buildings, an intricate stone fountain in the center. Four young girls sat on the fountain’s rim, their similar red hair and freckles identifying them as sisters. They were… playing with their hair? Almost… _weaving_ it into thicker, shorter strands. Rapunzel studied them curiously before glancing over at Eugene.

Eugene whistled to catch their attention. “Hey, girls,” he called, “how about a challenge?”

All four of the girl’s faces lit up, and together they ran over excitedly, pulling Rapunzel to have a seat as they took the hair from her and Varian. Rapunzel blinked in confusion as the girls spread her hair out along the plaza, chattering to each other in soft voices.

Rapunzel looked back over at Eugene, who gave her a thumb’s up. Glancing over her shoulder, she saw that the girls were in the process of separating her hair into three equal parts, their small, nimble fingers working with practiced ease. They began to twine the strands together with the same weaving technique Rapunzel had seen earlier.

Varian sat down beside Rapunzel, cross-legged. “What’s this called?” he ventured.

One of the girls paused in her work, giving Varian a puzzled look. “Braiding?”

 _“Braiding.”_ Varian watched with rapt attention. “So- so it’s over, under, pull?”

The girl nodded. “You wanna try?” she offered, holding a strand of hair out to him.

Varian’s eyes lit up, and he shot Rapunzel an excited grin before scrambling to his feet. Rapunzel chuckled and settled in to wait, listening to the sounds of the city and feeling the gentle pull of her hair.

When it was done, one of the girls shyly offered Rapunzel her hand. Rapunzel took it with a smile, rising uncertainly to her feet. The change in weight distribution was staggering; she nearly tipped over, Varian’s sudden hand on her back steadying her.

Her hair was above the ground. For the first time in Rapunzel’s memory, her hair wasn’t dragging on the ground. She gasped at the realization, a huge grin spreading across her face. The braid was almost thicker around than Rapunzel herself, and as an added touch, there were tons of tiny, different colored flowers woven among the hair.

“Oh, thank you!” Rapunzel spun around, feeling the weight of her hair twirl as her dress swished about her ankles. “It’s beautiful!”

“This is great!” Varian agreed happily. “Now that I know how to do it, I can braid your hair back home, too!”

“That’s right,” Rapunzel realized. She gave the girls a little wave. “Thank you so much, again!”

The girls departed in a chorus of ‘goodbye’ and ‘your welcome,’ and Rapunzel turned back to Eugene. He was leaning against a stone wall, his mouth slightly open as he watched her, and the look in his eyes made Rapunzel’s cheeks heat up.

Rapunzel cleared her throat. “What do you think?” she asked, trying for a casual and joking manner as she gave a more exaggerated twirl.

“Looks nice,” Eugene said appraisingly, looking away and scratching the back of his head. Was Rapunzel seeing things, or was he blushing, too? “Now, I don’t know about you two, but I could go for some breakfast right about now. And I just happen to know of a lovely little café right down the street.”

“Sounds wonderful,” Rapunzel said thankfully. They hadn’t eaten since leaving the tower the day before, and the hunger that’d been forgotten in all the excitement was back in full force, especially with all the delicious smells in the air.

“Great! Right this way.” Eugene pushed off the wall and lead the way back into the streets.

It was a tad more crowded now, and Rapunzel put an arm around Varian’s shoulders to pull him a bit closer. “So, what do you think so far?” she asked.

Varian hummed. “This place is amazing! Everything’s so bright, and- and colorful, and I- Rapunzel. _Rapunzel, look.”_ He tugged at her sleeve. “A _library.”_

Rapunzel followed his gaze to a shingled building with paned glass windows, stacks of books visible inside. Her eyes widened, despite herself. She’d never seen so many books before, and that was just what was visible from the outside.

“Alright.” She glanced down at Varian, smiling. “Eugene and I can go find some breakfast, just stay put there, okay?”

“Okay!” Varian chirped, racing off across the square.

Rapunzel watched him vanish into the building, a small bell ringing as the door opened and closed. It was just across the square, but it suddenly felt far away, the cobblestone paving stretching out before her, people milling back and forth in an endless, churning sea of faces.

Her chest felt tight. Had there always been that many people? The square seemed fuller now, louder and busier, and suddenly she was questioning the decision to let Varian go off by himself, seized by the need to go after him-

“Hey.” Eugene’s voice was soft. “He’ll be fine.”

Rapunzel turned to him, shaking herself out of it. “Oh, yeah, of course! I know.” She summoned a smile. “I’m good.”

“Uh huh.” Eugene looked unconvinced, but the look in his eyes was reassuring, rather than condescending. “Well, hey, you don’t need to worry, security’s always tight on this holiday. Which is, you know, bad for me personally, but it means things should be perfectly safe.”

Rapunzel gave a small laugh, the tension easing from her shoulders. “Yeah, I guess I’m just… nervous,” she admitted, playing with a loose strand of her hair.

“As one would expect,” Eugene said easily. Together, they started walking away from the library, back to the cluster of shops and cafes in the market square. “This is a big deal for you, huh?”

“Definitely.” Rapunzel’s gaze drifted across the shifting crowds and various storefronts. “It’s… like nothing we’ve ever experienced before.”

Eugene hummed. “Piece of free advice? Don’t be nervous. Everyone’s here for the same reason you are; to have a good time.” He winked at her. “So don’t overthink it.”

Rapunzel’s heart skipped a beat. “Thanks, Eugene,” she said softly. “I… appreciate it.”

Eugene inclined his head in acknowledgement. “So, Varian’s sort of a bookworm, huh?”

The casual change in subject reminded Rapunzel of the night before, at the campfire- the way Eugene switched topics when things got heavy, or... sincere. She wasn’t sure whether to appreciate the gesture or feel disappointed.

Rapunzel tilted her head. “Bookworm?” she asked, unfamiliar with the term.

Eugene blinked. “Like… he likes books?” he supplied, quirking an eyebrow.

“Oh, right!” Rapunzel’s cheeks heated up. Context clues, Rapunzel. “Yes, he does. We both do, I mean, we learn a lot of what we know from books. But he’s really into science, so between the two of us, he’s more into reading. And I like stuff that’s more for fun, you know? Fantasy stories and all that.” She winced as she realized she was rambling and passed it off with a little laugh.

“I see.” Eugene nodded sagely, though there was a twinkle in his eye. “Then I guess we know what he’ll be doing all day.”

Rapunzel grinned. “I wouldn’t be surprised.”

They lapsed into a comfortable silence. Rapunzel was grateful for the chance to catch her breath and calm her nerves. This was just Eugene, she didn’t need to be so flustered around him. Even if she did feel… _something,_ for him.

After a few moments, Eugene spoke unbidden. “So, I think I’m starting to get it.”

“Oh?” Rapunzel looked over at him. “Get what?”

“You and Varian.” Eugene kept his gaze out over the crowd, the slight crease of his brows the only indication he was thinking. “I didn’t understand why you were so protective at first. But with what he told me, I get why you’d wanna protect him.” He met her eyes, sympathetic. “And really, you’re… you’re all each other has, huh?”

Rapunzel nearly stopped walking. She’d… never thought of it like _that._ “Not really, I mean, we have Mother?” It sounded uncertain, so she shook her head and tried again. “We have Mother. It’s just that since she’s not here, I have to look after him.”

As the words came out, Rapunzel had to fight off a wave of guilt, as well as paranoia. For all she knew, Mother had followed them into the city, lurking in shadowy alleyways and watching their every move. She might know that Rapunzel hadn’t given Eugene the satchel back, might know exactly how uncertain Rapunzel was about the whole thing.

She resisted the urge to check over her shoulder and instead pushed the thoughts to the back of her mind. “But really, Eugene, I’m fine.”

Eugene’s expression was hard to read. “Right,” he said, glancing away. “Well, here we are. Man, would you just _smell_ that? I bet those croissants are fantastic.”

Rapunzel looked up at the café in surprise. “Oh, great! I’m starving.”

It was easy to let the prior subject slip away, easy to pretend nothing important had been said. To chat with Eugene about which breakfast pastries to order and keep a pleasant smile glued to her face until it turned genuine all on its own and her troubles strayed to the very back of her mind, a ‘fake it till you make it’ mentality she was well accustomed to.

It’d always worked before.

~*~

Flynn lazily swirled his finger in the fountain, eyes tracking Maximus a little ways off as the horse patrolled the market square.

There was something incredibly satisfying about being out in the open, secure in the knowledge that the Captain of the Royal Guard’s own horse was keeping him from getting arrested.

Flynn hadn’t seen much of the horse- which was perfectly fine by him, of course. But it seemed Maximus was keeping to his word (wait, could a horse even give someone their word?) because Flynn hadn’t had a problem with guards all day. So at least he didn’t have to worry about that- even if he did have to crumple up the occasional wanted poster (which he was more than happy to do because _seriously,_ those noses just looked so wrong).

He and Rapunzel had caught back up with Varian at the library and shared breakfast together, the kid excitedly gushing about this alchemy book he’d found in between bites of scone. Rapunzel had spent a good hour or so browsing around the library with him, but eventually decided to venture back outside. Varian had been content to stay with the books, so Flynn had been spending the past couple hours following Rapunzel around the city as she went from one thing to the next.

Everything seemed to catch her attention. And the fact that it was the Lanterns Festival meant that every street vendor and performer was out in throes so there was no shortage of stuff to take interest in; face painters, firebreathers, jugglers, bakers- anything anyone could want at a festival.

At the moment, it seemed Rapunzel had finally found something capable of holding her attention for more than five minutes. Someone had brought a bunch of chalk for kids to decorate the square with. Rapunzel, unsurprisingly, had leapt at the opportunity, and was in the process of outlining an enormous mural. Her hands were already stained purple, her tongue stuck out in concentration as she worked.

Flynn’s eyes traced the lines she was drawing and gave a low whistle. “Isn’t that a bit ambitious, Blondie?” he called to her.

Rapunzel waved a dismissive hand in his direction. “I’ve got it!”

Flynn chuckled. “Alright. Well, while you do that, I’m gonna go check on Varian, okay? See if he’s hungry for lunch yet?”

“Thank you!”

Despite the fact that Rapunzel’s back was turned to him, Flynn gave a little wave before heading off. The library wasn’t far, still within view of the square where Rapunzel was. Flynn pushed the door open, nodding in greeting at the man who ran the place.

It was a tad cooler now that Flynn was out of the sun, his eyes struggling to adjust to the dimmer light. He peered down the rows of shelves. “Varian, you in here, buddy?” he called out quietly, looking around. The kid wasn’t in the same spot they’d left him earlier.

“Over here!” Varian’s voice came from around the corner, barely audible but filled with excitement.

Flynn poked around the bookshelves to find Varian sitting cross-legged on the floor, several books stacked beside him with a particularly weathered paperback in his lap.

“Hey.” Flynn smiled. “Find anything good?”

“Are you kidding me?” Varian was clearly struggling to keep his voice at a whisper. “This place is amazing, they have books on _everything!_ Anything you could imagine! Like, this one,” he held up the old-looking book in his lap, “it’s a history on all the different religions in Corona! There’s so much here, I- I almost didn’t know where to start,” he admitted.

“Did you finish that alchemy book already, then?” Flynn asked, raising his eyebrows.

Varian’s face fell slightly. “No. I- I know we won’t be here long, so I- so I wanna make the most of my time and read as much as I can _about_ as much as I can.” He brushed a thumb over the page of the history book. “So I haven’t been finishing any of them.”

Flynn shrugged. “Well, hey, this is a library, so…” he trailed off, realizing what he’d been about to suggest. Varian couldn’t check books out because he wouldn’t be able to come back and return them. Because he was going back to live in a tower for the rest of his life.

Flynn swallowed down the sudden tightness in his throat. “So uh, that’s what they’re here for,” he finished lamely, gesturing vaguely at the pile of books.

Varian nodded. “Yeah. So what’s up?”

“Right.” Flynn shook himself. “I uh, came to ask if you’re getting hungry for lunch yet?” 

“Oh.” Varian glanced through the window, looking surprised. He closed the book in his lap. “That time already? Uh, yeah I- I guess I am. Where’s Rapunzel?” he asked, starting to put the stacked books back on their shelves.

“She’s right outside,” Flynn said, jabbing his thumb at the window. “Having fun with chalk.”

“Chalk?” Varian grinned. “That sounds right up her alley. I can’t wait to see-”

The last book slipped out of Varian’s gloved hands, dropping soundly onto the floor with a resounding smack that echoed through the otherwise silent building. Even worse, it was the old paperback, and a few aged pages spilled out from between the covers, having been knocked loose from their spine.

Varian stared at the damaged book, his face paling. Gingerly, he picked it up off the ground, gathering up the unattached pages with trembling hands. His breathing hitched, and Flynn noticed with a start that Varian’s eyes were shining with tears.

“Woah, hey, it’s alright, kid,” he said quickly. “Accidents happen, okay?”

Varian swallowed hard. “I didn’t mean to, it- it just slipped-”

Suddenly, there were footsteps. Flynn looked over to see the librarian approaching, his features drawn tight with annoyance. “What’s going on over here?”

Varian stiffened, dropping his gaze. “I- I’m sorry, s- sir,” he whispered hoarsely. “I d- dropped it and th- the pages just-”

“Oh, that’s just great,” the man sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. “Listen, boy, this is public property, but that doesn’t mean you don’t treat it with respect.”

Flynn frowned, putting a hand on Varian’s shoulder. “Hey, come on, he didn’t mean to,” he said. “It’s just a book. Besides, it’s the Festival of Lanterns, where’s your goodwill?”

The man wasn’t swayed. “It went the first time some careless kid ruined one of my books,” he deadpanned.

Flynn didn’t miss the way Varian flinched, subtly shifting closer to him. He narrowed his eyes at the man. “Look, the thing was in rough shape already,” he said, fighting to keep the irritation from his voice. “Let me just take it off your hands for you.” He dug into his belt and pulled out a small handful of coins.

The man hesitated, eyeing the coins in Flynn’s hand. “That was a rare edition,” he said, frowning. “Practically one of a kind.”

“And it’s practically fire tinder at this point,” Flynn countered. “Believe me, this is a generous offer.”

Finally, the man nodded. “Fine, deal,” he huffed, putting his hand out.

“Eugene,” Varian whispered urgently, tugging on Flynn’s sleeve. “Eugene, I can’t. You shouldn’t.”

“It’s no trouble,” Flynn assured him, tipping the coins in the man’s outstretched hand.

Actually, it was almost the last of the money Flynn had on him, but Varian didn’t need to know that. He still had enough for later so it was fine- he just wouldn’t eat a big dinner. Or, dinner at all. Totally fine.

With a final icy smile at the man, Flynn steered Varian out of the library with a hand on his back. Varian was clutching the history book to his chest, looking shocked.

“I… th- thank you,” he stammered. “This is- I really appreciate it. Thank you.”

“As I said, no problem,” Flynn said gently. “Now, let’s go find your sister.”

“Yeah!” Varian’s face brightened again. “I can’t wait to show her!”

Flynn’s heart gave a pang as he watched Varian run over to Rapunzel, chattering excitedly about his new book as he stepped carefully over fresh chalk lines. The smile Rapunzel gave him was blinding, and when she turned it onto Flynn, her radiance took his breath away.

The spark between them was a roaring fire now, and Flynn was almost scared by how eager he was to burn.

~*~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Hope you enjoyed, please remember to leave a comment if you did, and I'll see you next time! P.S. big shout out to my awesome sis TheCrocodileWrites for helping me with some key points this chapter! - Aqua


	25. all at once

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Title: _all at once_  
>  Rating: K+  
> Warnings: panic attacks  
> Summary: Varian and Rapunzel start to warm up to the idea of change. And all it takes is an impromptu community dance, a dream fulfilled, confessions of love, and a handful of quiet revelations.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **A/N:** Hi readers, big thank you for the wonderful feedback on the last chapter! It really motivated me to put a ton of effort into this chapter, and I'm super proud of what I've accomplished with it. Now, since I keep getting this question, **PLEASE READ: Pascal is not in this au.** I made this decision and gave my reasons way back in my Chapter Three author’s note, so feel free to go back and check that out!
> 
> Additionally, I wanna remind you that while I appreciate the enthusiasm, I won’t respond to comments asking for updates or spoilers. Thanks! - Aqua

__

_all at once_

~*~

Varian carefully turned the page, weathered paper pinched delicately between his gloved fingers.

It was evening now, the bright orange sun low in the sky and washing the square in its hue. He’d finally found some free time to crack open his new, old book. Curled up against a fountain, he was still within view of Rapunzel and Eugene as they walked around the market, chatting as they window-shopped.

He’d had to wash his gloves off in the fountain after helping Rapunzel color in her chalk mural earlier, though he suspected he had smudges of pink and purple chalk on his face. The last thing he wanted to do was damage the book further, so he’d waited until his gloves had completely dried before touching it. 

He’d been careful with the book all day; Eugene had even gotten him a little cloth bag with a shoulder strap to carry it in. Varian had tried to refuse the gift, already conscious of how much Eugene had done for him, but Eugene had explained it’d been given to him free of charge from a vendor who’d sold out, so Varian had relented. At the moment, the bag sat empty at his side.

So far, Varian was only a few pages in, as the slightly faded ink took more time and attention to read. From the grin on his face, any observer might expect he was reading some kind of fantasy epic or adventurous tale, not a record of religious institutions in Corona. Truthfully, history wasn’t a big interest of his, but the simple fact that it was something new was enough for him- and the fact that it was _his,_ really and truly his.

He’d thanked Eugene enough times he was starting to worry it was getting annoying, but he couldn’t help it. It was a small thing, he knew, but it meant a lot.

A sweet, twanging sound suddenly cut through the air. Varian looked up from his book to see a trio of musicians parading through the square. 

Every other thought disappeared from Varian’s mind. He closed the book and slipped it back into his bag, scrambling to his feet and rushing towards the music, as if something had grabbed him by his very heart and pulled.

Rapunzel was already there, and the second her eyes met his, he knew they were thinking the same thing. Beaming, she took Varian’s hands and they started to dance.

It reminded him of the music from the pub, but lighter, more joyful. The fiddle added a note of beauty, accompanied by the lively bursts of the recorder and strung together by the strumming of the mandolin. It was the kind of music that demanded to be danced to, and Varian was more than happy to comply.

They were garnering some attention now, people stopping to watch in a loose crowd, but Varian was surprised to find he wasn’t self-conscious about it. Instead, he continued to dance as Rapunzel twirled away and started to pull people in. Seized by a sudden boldness, he found himself grinning broadly and following suit, taking perfect strangers by the hands and inviting them to dance. A stout woman with laugh lines around her eyes, a little boy who barely came up to Varian’s chest, a brown-skinned teenager with a long braid- all joining in without hesitation. Even Eugene got in on it, with a helpful nudge from Max.

Varian barely saw him or Rapunzel as he spun with the crowd of dancers, switching rapidly from one partner to another. It barely resembled ballet; everything about it was wild, spontaneous, carefree, yet perfectly in harmony. People moved and breathed as one, cheered on by the crowd that’d formed around them as they clapped along to the beat. Energy fizzled through the air and shuddered beneath Varian’s feet, the ground shaking from the vibrations. It gathered inside him, buzzing inside his chest and filling him with so much elation he seemed to radiate it.

Just when the music had built as high as it could go, it hit its final chord. Cheers and applause erupted, filling the air to occupy the abrupt silence left in its wake.

Varian laughed for the sheer joy of it, breathless and ecstatic, and turned to find Rapunzel in the crowd. His eyes picked her out easily, because she and Eugene were the only ones not moving.

They’d ended the dance facing each other. Chest to chest, hands interlaced, eyes locked. A slight flush to their cheeks, dazed smiles on their faces, and a spark Varian could practically feel from the other side of the square.

The world slowed down around Varian, everything fading into stillness and silence. Revelations happened in between heartbeats, each one a deafening crash in his ears.

They liked each other. 

_Beat._

As in, like-like. Romantic feelings. And suddenly it all clicked, things that’d confused Varian before making sense. That special way they looked at each other, the odd but vibrant light in their eyes, blushes and nervous laughs and hesitant touches, it was all because of love-

_Beat._

Abrupt and intense terror stole the air from Varian’s lungs. He suddenly wanted to scream because it wasn’t fair, wasn’t fair for Eugene to try and take his sister from him. Because that’s what happened, wasn’t it, when two people liked each other? Nothing else mattered when it came to love, and Varian was included in that. He’d be left behind, forgotten. Everything would change, it was too much and it wasn’t fair, how could she do this to him, she’d promised they’d always have each other, she’d _promised-_

Except-

_Beat._

Except.

Except Rapunzel was happy. Eugene made Rapunzel happy.

_Beat._

Varian inhaled slowly. Processing. He… he wasn’t going to get left behind. Rapunzel loved him, had promised they’d always have each other and she never broke promises. She’d never do anything to hurt him. Her feelings for Eugene wouldn’t change that. _Nothing_ would change that.

And nothing would change. They liked each other, yes, but at the end of the day Varian and Rapunzel were still going home, back to their lives, and Eugene back to his.

_Beat._

It was only for tonight. Varian could handle that. It didn’t have to mean anything except for a magical night to remember, an experience to look back on fondly. So he would support Rapunzel in this because it made her happy, and if Rapunzel was happy, Varian was happy.

_Beat._

They just had tonight. Varian would do his best to make it a great one for them.

“To the boats!” someone shouted, and the moment broke.

Color flooded back into Varian’s world, the pain easing in his chest as he let go of the breath he’d been holding. He felt oddly at peace with the whole thing, now, comfortable with the unfamiliar concept of Rapunzel having feelings for someone. It was a new experience for sure, but _everything_ had been a new experience from the moment they set foot outside the tower. And if he could handle all that, he could handle this, _especially_ since it was so important to Rapunzel.

Across the square, Rapunzel pulled away from Eugene, smiling shyly. Her gaze darted about before falling on Varian, and her eyes lit up before she ran to him, scooping him up in a hug.

Varian laughed, hugging her back as his feet dangled above the ground. “Rapunzel!”

“Varian! That was so fun!” Rapunzel set Varian down, glancing over at Eugene as he approached. “Where’s everyone going?”

Eugene grinned. “It’s lantern time,” he said. He waved an arm at them, turning away from where most of the crowd was headed. “Come on, we better get going, too.”

Rapunzel tilted her head, glancing over at the departing people before following him. Varian grabbed his bag and slung it over his shoulder before jogging to catch up to them, the book swaying back and forth at his hip.

“Where to?” Rapunzel asked curiously.

“The docks,” Eugene replied.

Varian stopped walking. “W- why?”

Eugene shrugged, not noticing. “Well, seeing as it’s a very special occasion, I figured you should have a decent seat.”

“A boat? On- on the water?” Varian’s breathing quickened. “I- I don’t know if that’s- if that’s a good idea-”

“Varian?” Rapunzel sounded concerned.

“I- I don’t- sorry,” Varian gasped out, “I d- don’t think I c- can go.”

“What’s wrong?”

“Everything okay, kid?”

Varian couldn’t respond. His throat was tight, vision blurring suddenly with tears. It was like he’d frozen up again, and that alone was enough to send a sharp spike of panic through him, adrenaline flooding his veins.

Rapunzel gently took him by the arm and led him away from the square, away from Eugene and the dispersing crowd of people. 

“Breathe, Varian,” she murmured. “It’s alright, just breathe.”

Varian shook his head frantically, squeezing his eyes shut. His breath just wouldn’t come, the pressure in his chest unrelenting like his lungs were full of ice- _it hurt, it hurt, it hurt._ His heart was pounding in his ears, beating against his skull and blocking everything else out and it sounded like the roaring of floodwaters- _no, no, no, don’t breathe, don’t breathe-_

“Varian.” Rapunzel’s voice was steady, her hand a grounding weight on his shoulder, an anchor. “I’m here.”

Varian sucked in a strangled breath, his entire body trembling from the effort. It pierced through the haze of panic, the weight in his chest letting up enough for him to take a proper breath. For a minute he just breathed, focusing on the feeling of air- not water- rushing through his nose and filling his lungs as Rapunzel rubbed his back in soothing circles.

Finally, Varian had calmed enough to speak. “It’s the water,” he managed, his voice hoarse. “I _can’t.”_

It took Rapunzel a second. Her eyes widened with realization. “Oh, _Varian,”_ she murmured sympathetically. “That’s… it’s okay, we’ll just find somewhere else to watch, alright? No big deal.” She gave him a reassuring smile, squeezing his shoulder.

Varian exhaled slowly, unwinding the knot of panic in his chest. Okay. Okay, he was fine, he didn’t have to go near the water. That was fine.

But… Eugene had rented a boat for them. To go watch the lanterns out on the water. And Varian was sure it’d make for a beautiful sight; the warm, glowing lights reflecting across the water’s surface. It was… thoughtful of Eugene. Like he really understood how much this meant to Rapunzel.

A pit of guilt formed in Varian’s stomach. He’d snapped at Eugene that morning, caused him problems in the library, and now he was ruining the special evening Eugene had planned. And he liked Rapunzel.

More importantly, Rapunzel liked Eugene. This was the only night she’d get with him. Varian wanted to make it as perfect as he could for her, for her to make the most of it before they went home the next day.

Varian made his decision. “No, it’s okay,” he told Rapunzel lightly. “You two go."

“What?” Rapunzel looked taken aback. “But Varian, this is such a special moment for us!”

“Mostly for you,” Varian said with an easy shrug. “This is something you’ve been dreaming about your whole life, Rapunzel, I want you to enjoy it.”

“And I will,” Rapunzel said stubbornly, “with _you.”_

An image flashed in his mind’s eye. The mural Rapunzel had painted over the fireplace, of her and Varian watching the lanterns. That’s how she’d always imagined it, how they’d both always imagined it. But now that they were here? There was a different path laid out in front of Varian, one he never could have predicted but felt strongly about all the same.

That was the thing with the outside world- nothing seemed to be going how he’d expected. But maybe that wasn’t a bad thing? Because it could be like they’d both always imagined, or it could be something entirely new, a different experience she’d never get the chance to have again.

He wanted that for her, he realized.

Finally, Varian shook his head. “You and I will always have special days,” he said gently, “but this one is different.” He took Rapunzel’s hands in his. “And- and I want you to go have fun and just… take some time for yourself, alright?” He tilted his head towards Eugene, giving her a knowing grin.

Rapunzel blinked. Varian could tell she’d caught onto his meaning, because a slight tint colored her cheeks. “Are… are you sure it’s okay?” she asked, and Varian knew she wasn’t just talking about the boat anymore.

“Yeah.” Varian’s smile mellowed into something soft and genuine, and he squeezed her hands. “I promise.”

Rapunzel returned his smile in kind. “Okay,” she relented, her gaze a mixture of gratitude and love and happiness. “Thank you.” She kissed the top of his head.

Varian beamed up at her. “You’re welcome,” he said, waggling his eyebrows.

Rapunzel rolled her eyes playfully. “You know, you didn’t have to do this,” she said as they started walking back to Eugene.

“But?” Varian prompted.

“But I appreciate it,” Rapunzel amended, a smile playing on her lips.

Eugene glanced over at their approach, from where he had been politely giving them their privacy. “So what’s up, everything cool?” he asked.

Rapunzel took a deep breath. “Okay Eugene, Varian’s going to sit this one out and meet up after,” she announced casually, “so it’ll just be you and me. Is… that alright with you?” she added, less certain.

Varian met Eugene’s eyes and gave a small nod. It was both an encouragement and an apology for what’d happened that morning, a promise that things between them were okay.

Eugene looked confused, but he didn’t press the issue. He just studied their faces before shrugging. “If you’re sure, then,” he said simply.

Varian nodded, relief washing over him. “Yeah, you guys have fun!” He couldn’t resist shooting Eugene a little wink. “Not _too_ much fun, though.”

Eugene’s eyebrows shot up, making Varian snicker as he turned away. “When you two are done, you know where to find me!” he called over his shoulder, heading back into town. He didn’t have to look to know Rapunzel was blushing.

Part of Varian wanted to linger by the docks, to watch and make sure everything went okay, but he quickly reminded himself that the entire reason he wasn’t going was so they could have some alone time. He trusted Rapunzel would be able to handle herself, and he trusted Eugene.

… odd thought, that was. He’d know Eugene for less than two days but had already entrusted him with his life and safety, with his secret, with Rapunzel and her dreams and her heart.

There was just something about being out here, Varian supposed. It was that same mix of thrilling and terrifying from before, the knowledge that even if it turned out to be a mistake, it’d be _his._

Though, of course, he’d prefer if it wasn’t a mistake. Rapunzel would be _crushed_ if anything- 

“Hey, Varian, wait up!”

Varian paused at the sound of Eugene’s voice, turning around. “Eugene?” he asked, furrowing his brows as Eugene came to a stop before him, his hands behind his back. “Uh, what is it?”

“Hey.” Eugene nodded at him, a sly grin tugging at his mouth. “So uh, this was gonna wait till we were out on the water but since there’s been a change of plans I figured I’d better give it to you now.” He shoved something into Varian’s hands.

Varian nearly dropped it out of reflex, a surprised exclamation dying on his tongue as he realized what it was.

It was a lantern. Made of paper, lighter than a feather and thinner than silk, curled into a wide cylinder. Delicate brushstrokes detailed a pattern around its edges, a circular wick inside.

For a moment, Varian was too stunned to speak. “This is for me?” he managed finally, his voice barely above a whisper.

Eugene shrugged. “It’s your first Festival of Lanterns, buddy,” he said. “Least I could do.”

A lump formed in Varian’s throat. He shook his head, holding the lantern back out. “I- I can’t accept this,” he said hoarsely, “you’ve already done so much-”

“Hey,” Eugene said gently, “I’m happy to do it.”

Varian inhaled slowly, tipping his head up to meet Eugene’s eyes as he searched for any trace of doubt, hesitation, regret- but finding only reassurance. “… okay,” he relented finally. _“Thank you.”_

Eugene nodded, pleased. “So, when the time comes, you just light the wick inside and let it go,” he instructed, handing Varian a matchstick.

Varian took it from him, his mind already turning. “And the heat from the flame will warm up the surrounding air and create a lift,” he realized, “overcoming the lantern’s weight and allowing it to float!” He gasped. _“Fascinating.”_

Eugene grinned. “Heh, yep, you’ve got it!” He clapped Varian on the shoulder before turning away. “Enjoy, alright?”

“Alright.” Varian absently ran his thumb along the matchstick for a moment, listening to Eugene’s footsteps fade, before he was suddenly seized by the need to say something. “H- hey, Eugene?” he called.

Eugene glanced back at him. “Yeah, kid?”

Varian swallowed, giving him a small, shy smile. “I… really appreciate it,” he said quietly. “Everything you’ve done for us.”

Eugene’s expression softened. “Don’t mention it.”

Varian returned the little wave Eugene gave him in parting, watching his retreating figure silhouetted against the sunset. He held the paper lantern as close to his chest as he dared for fear of crumpling it, unable to stop the dopey grin that spread from ear to ear any more than he could stop the joyous pounding of his heart.

~*~

It was dark by the time they got out on the water.

The sun had hidden itself quickly, streaking across the sky in a flustered burst of orange and pink before nestling, almost sheepish, beneath the horizon. In its stead, the cool blues of early night spanned deep and unbroken across the sky, all the clouds from earlier in the day vanished like parting curtains. Rapunzel almost couldn’t tell where the sky met the sea, as if they bled into each other completely and if she swam far enough she’d arc up into the atmosphere and drift wayward into the unknown.

Of course, she’d have to learn how to swim, first.

Their boat swayed back and forth ever so slightly as the water cradled it. This water was tame, smooth and flat as glass and entirely unlike the raging froth from the canyon flood, and Rapunzel found it soothing. The castle glittered before them, magnificent in its entirety. Warm pinpricks of light dotted along its walls, like brightly winking eyes peering down at them.

Not a single sound disturbed the peace. There were a few other boats out on the inlet, but none that obscured their view. The air was crisp and clear, but without any bite of a chill.

It really was a perfect night; _the_ perfect night to watch the lanterns. That made Rapunzel more nervous than it should have.

Somehow, she wasn’t surprised when Eugene spoke up out of the blue. She wasn’t bothering to keep her expression in check, her emotions free to run rampant across her features and spell out her uncertainties. She was capable of putting on a mask when she needed to, but she got the strangest feeling that it wouldn’t have mattered with Eugene anyways.

“You okay?” Eugene asked softly.

Rapunzel tilted her head, tracing her fingers absently along the edge of the boat. She breathed in and held it for a beat, before letting it out slowly, her words tacked on faintly at the end as if the quiet rush of air could conceal them.

“… I’m terrified.”

“Why?”

Rapunzel turned her face until she held Eugene in the corner of her eye. He was earnest, open, patient, eyes glimmering with fondness and concern and that _something_ that made her unable to keep his gaze, too heavy to hold. She cut her eyes back down to the water, watching the minute ripple of the light’s reflection on its surface for a moment.

“I’ve been… looking out a window for eighteen years,” Rapunzel said, _“dreaming_ about what it might feel like when those lights rise in the sky…” She risked another glance at Eugene, searching. “What if it’s not everything I dreamed it would be?”

There wasn’t a trace of doubt in Eugene’s face. “It will be.”

Rapunzel smiled faintly. “And what if it is? What do I do then?”

Eugene considered it. “Well, that’s the good part, I guess,” he said. “You get to go find a new dream.”

Rapunzel’s expression sobered. Find a new dream… where? How? _Why?_ After this, she and Varian would be going home. And though this experience had changed them, nothing would really _change._ Daily life would be exactly as it was; hidden away in the tower for their own safety.

Find a new dream… was that even possible?

“What do you mean?”

Eugene’s voice startled her this time because she wasn’t expecting it, and she realized she’d spoken aloud.

Rapunzel felt her face heat up. “Oh, sorry, just… thinking out loud.”

Eugene frowned. “Rapunzel-”

“It’s okay,” Rapunzel quickly assured him, the weight behind her words growing stronger in her resolve. “Really, Eugene, it’s okay. This is… more than enough, I… today’s been incredible.” She shook her head in almost wonder, letting out a small laugh. “I couldn’t be happier.”

Eugene studied her for a moment. There was an echo of sadness in his expression, but it was blinked away and replaced by fondness. “Couldn’t be happier, huh? I wouldn’t be too sure about that if I were you,” he said, the corner of his mouth pulling up in a grin. “Look.”

Curious, Rapunzel followed his gaze- then gasped. She jolted to her feet and darted to the bow, the boat rocking wildly beneath her. Clinging to the polished wood, she craned her neck up to the sky, eyes wide.

A solitary golden light floated in the distance, rising slow and graceful from within the castle walls. Such a small, lonely light, yet it commanded the sky with its glow, and Rapunzel couldn’t tear her gaze away.

As if on cue, hundreds of other lanterns rose into the sky at once. They were a harmony of varying hues, different tones of yellow and orange blending into each other seamlessly, their wavering light like a heartbeat overhead. It was as if they’d come from the earth itself, floating up from the castle and the city and all the ships in the inlet and unfurling like a blanket over the sky.

Like the world was bleeding light.

Rapunzel hardly dared to blink, not wanting to miss a single moment of it. It wasn’t until she started to get lightheaded that she realized she’d been holding her breath. She let it out in a contented sigh, and with it came years and years of longing and heartache and wistfulness. Something shifted with that sigh, a hole deep inside her heart becoming filled. All at once, everything was different.

And it both startled and enthralled her to find she was okay with that.

Behind her, Eugene cleared his throat, making Rapunzel turn. He was holding two lanterns, already lit and flickering gently, a knowing smile playing on his lips.

Rapunzel’s eyes widened. She broke out into a huge smile, happily surprised and touched and excited all at once. Stepping away from the bow, she sat down to face Eugene, her mind racing in its search for the right words to say.

It came to Rapunzel abruptly, fitting into place like a puzzle piece. “I have something for you, too,” she said, reaching under the seat.

Eugene’s expression barely changed as Rapunzel pulled out the satchel, just the faintest glimmer of surprise in his eyes. That made her even more certain this was the right thing to do. It was as if every bit of hesitation and doubt had floated away with the lanterns, leaving her with nothing inside but light and warmth.

“I should’ve given it to you before,” Rapunzel said, “but… I was just scared. And the thing is? I’m not scared anymore.” She met Eugene’s eyes. “You know what I mean?”

Eugene gently pushed the satchel down, guiding her to set it on the floor of the boat. “I’m starting to,” he said, passing one of the lanterns into her hands.

Together, they lifted their lanterns and sent them up into the sky. The two lanterns pulled to the same air current, curling lazily around each other in a mock dance. Rapunzel watched them until they became an indistinguishable blur among the clouds of light, her heart swelling. She let her gaze wash over the scene, the shimmering reflections on the water’s surface.

“Oh, look!” Rapunzel sat up, spotting a sinking lantern. Her eyes carefully tracked its movement as it dipped low towards them. She hurried to the side of the boat, reaching out as far as she dared to catch the lantern on her fingertips before it touched the water.

Rapunzel sat back in the boat with her prize. This one had a lovely sun design on it, the flame inside still burning bright. She admired it for a moment before sending it back up to join the others, beaming.

“Thank you.”

Rapunzel looked at Eugene in surprise. “Thank _me?”_ she asked. “What for?”

“For… showing me.” Eugene smiled at her. “I… Rapunzel, I’ve spent my whole life running from one place to another and I’ve always thought I knew what I was searching for, but… it’s this. It’s you. Being _with_ you, here and now, it’s where I’m meant to go. Where I’ve always meant to go.” He reached out and rested his hand on top of hers. “I… I finally see it,” he murmured. “Do you?”

Rapunzel stared down at their hands. It was like last night, at the campfire- leaps of faith and eyes that shone with understanding and _‘is that what you really want?’_ Except this time, she didn’t pull away.

She finally understood what that _something_ she’d been feeling was. It was that same pull she’d felt all her life to see the lanterns, that unexplainable call from beyond the tower’s walls. She could _see_ it, and it was leading her straight to him.

Rapunzel took Eugene’s hands in her own.

“I do,” she whispered.

Reality tugged incessantly at Rapunzel’s sleeve, whispering in her ear that it could never work, reminding her where she’d be this time tomorrow. What could they possibly build together? She was going back to the tower and he’d disappear with his fortune and everything would go back to the way it was before. There was no future for them, no foreseeable scenario in which this didn’t end with heartbreak.

Eugene leaned in, and suddenly Rapunzel didn’t care.

His hand came up to brush the hair from her face, his calloused fingers impossibly soft on her skin, and his gaze didn’t stray from hers for an instant- watching, searching, aware and attuned to any signs from her. When his hand moved to cradle the back of her head, it was a question.

Rapunzel answered back, tilting into it, moving instinctively as the distance between them began to close. Her eyes drifted shut of their own accord, her heart miraculously calm and steady despite the sudden weightlessness that’d taken hold of her.

 _Meant to be,_ Eugene had said. Maybe that’s what this was.

Fate.

It was an exhilarating thought. That someone like him could be destined for her, that she was destined for _anything_ more than spending the rest of her days in the tower. And it was all so clear now, it was right here in front of her and all she had to do was-

Eugene stilled. He was a mere hair’s breadth away, close enough that Rapunzel could feel the moment he pulled back.

She opened her eyes. “Is everything okay?”

Eugene’s gaze was somewhere beyond her, his brows furrowed and his jaw tight. It took him a moment to process that she’d spoken. He blinked, shaking his head.

“Huh? Oh, yes, uh huh,” Eugene assured her. “Yes, of course. I just…” He hesitated. “I’m sorry, can- can we dock for a minute?”

Rapunzel knit her brows together. “Um… sure.”

Eugene gave her a smile that was a cross between relieved and comforting. He took up the oar and dipped it into the water, turning their boat not back to the docks but towards the opposite shore. Rapunzel sat back uneasily, worrying at her bottom lip and fidgeting with her hair. The silence was thick and uncomfortable, like a sudden fog had rolled in to muddle the clear air, each splash of water now harsh and grating.

Their boat shuddered against the rocky coastline, wood grinding against gravel and coarse sand. The beach was framed by a dense tree line, knotted branches forming a wall. Eugene set the oar down and swung his legs over the side of the boat, grabbing the satchel.

“I’m sorry, everything’s fine,” Eugene said, apologetic and genuine but still somehow off. “There’s just something I have to take care of.”

Rapunzel glanced from Eugene to the satchel and back again. Her heart gave a nervous stutter. “… okay,” she said eventually, managing a smile.

Her doubt was painfully obvious, and Eugene winced. “I’ll be right back,” he said.

With a final reassuring look, Eugene turned and walked off down the beach, gravel crunching beneath his boots. Rapunzel watched his figure fade into the mist. Just like that, she was alone- well and truly alone, she realized abruptly, for what was essentially the first time in her life.

She knew, objectively, that there had been times before Varian. She was so young then, she didn’t remember specifics, just that she’d disliked it. Since then, it’d always been the two of them. They gave each other space when needed, seeking out ‘alone time’ in their rooms, but that didn’t really count when someone was still within earshot. Here though, it was just her, not a single soul around.

… it wasn’t a feeing she wanted to get used to.

Rapunzel wrapped her arms around herself, took a shaky breath, and waited.

~*~

Varian inspected his handiwork carefully, squinting in the faint moonlight.

“What d’you think, Max?” he asked, glancing up at the horse. It was the fourth braid he’d woven into the horse’s mane, and he was pleasantly surprised to see his improvement. This one was a lot neater that the others.

Max neighed his approval, his ears pricked in interest. He’d seemed confused when Varian had asked if he could practice braiding on him, like no one had ever done his mane before. But he’d allowed it, settling down by the docks and munching on a sack of apples Eugene left him while Varian worked.

Smiling, Varian happily settled back against Max’s side, gathering another lock of the horse’s mane into his hands. He started to hum again as he worked, the tune from earlier still drifting through his head. It was too dark now to continue reading his book, so he’d figured this was as good a way to pass the time as any.

The lanterns were _wonderful._ They’d made quite the spectacle, a cluster of shifting, spinning light trailing lazily across the night sky. In fact, it completely made up for its impracticality; there was no purpose except enjoyment, and while Varian could appreciate that, the scale was staggering. He supposed that logistically, it had to work out in the kingdom’s favor- the cost of stopping basically all productive work must be made up in _spades_ by the amount of profit turned by the festival, otherwise he didn’t see why they’d keep doing it.

Although, there _was_ something to be said for goodwill. Not only had Varian felt it, watching the lantern Eugene had given him float gracefully into the air, but he’d _seen_ it in every stranger’s face. He’d never imagined a big city like that could be so… _joyful._ It certainly didn’t match the description Mother gave them, on the rare occasions she told stories about the world outside the tower.

But that was getting off topic, so Varian pushed the thought away.

It was late, the last of the lanterns having long disappeared over the horizon. The gentle sound of water lapping against the docks filled the crisp night air, and it didn’t unnerve Varian the way he’d thought it might. He’d found he was okay just sitting by the water, knowing he didn’t actually have to go in it. A peaceful feeling had settled around him, like a blanket draped over his shoulders.

Strange, that he felt so calm despite being away from home. Despite being away from Rapunzel. At the moment it was enough to feel the steady rise and fall of Max’s side as he breathed, to let his mind wander through the day’s events like flipping through a picture book.

All things considered, Varian thought he’d done a pretty good job with everything. He knew he tended to get overwhelmed. But it was almost as if his body knew this would be the only time he experienced this, as if he could handle the crowds and the noise and all the new sensations because he knew they were meant to last him past today.

It was bittersweet, to be sure.

Varian let out a small sigh. “You ever wish things could be different, Max?” he asked softly.

Max turned to give him a curious look.

“It’s just that…” Varian chewed his lip, staring down at his hands as he braided. “I… wanted things to change. But- but not too much. I can’t imagine _everything_ changing, I don’t know _what_ I’d do, but… I’m not sure I want things to just- to just go back to how they were before.” He paused. “Problem is, those are the only two possibilities.”

Going back home would mean everything would continue on like normal. But _not_ going back home? That wasn’t an option.

Max chuffed lightly at him, in a way that was probably meant to be reassuring. His warm breath ruffled Varian’s bangs, making him grin.

“Thanks, Max,” he said, patting the horse’s nose. “I’m sure it’ll all work out-”

“Rapunzel!”

A sudden cry pierced through the air, making Varian jump. He scrambled to his feet, heart pounding, the clatter of hooves on stone echoing as Max did the same. There was only one person that could be.

“Max,” Varian gasped, “that was Eugene.”

Max’s ears were turned in the direction the call had come from, and he tilted his head for Varian to follow. Together, they snuck over to the side of one of the buildings lining the docks.

Varian peered carefully around the corner. He stifled a gasp.

Eugene was being dragged away from a docked boat by four guards. He was fighting _hard,_ his expression panicked and fearful and confused. It was a look that communicated instantly that something was very, very wrong

 _“Rapunzel!”_ he called again, desperately, and Varian’s stomach dropped.

Rapunzel was nowhere to be seen. Varian backed away, his heart starting to race.

“Rapunzel,” he breathed. He quickly scooped his bag off the ground and slung it over his shoulder, glancing over at Max. “I- I have to go find Rapunzel, make sure she’s okay- you try and figure out what’s happening with Eugene, alright?”

As he talked, he unhooked his sheathed sword and belt from Max’s saddlebags, fastening it back around his waist. They’d decided that morning that the horse should carry it, so Varian wouldn’t attract attention, but he had a feeling he might need it now.

Max seemed wary at the prospect of splitting up, but they had two priorities at the moment and it couldn’t be helped. The horse gave Varian a nod before galloping off, and Varian turned and ran into town, his bare feet pounding against the cobblestones.

Buildings rushed past him in a blur, his breathing shallow in his ears as he ran through the streets, out of town, down the bridge. Considering the way the boat was pointed, it’d come from the opposite shore across the inlet. And since Rapunzel wasn’t on the boat that was the most likely place she’d be- except for in the water.

Varian nearly stumbled at the thought, ice-cold fear gripping him like claws. He forced it down, blinking the sudden tears from his eyes, and pressed on. He couldn’t break down now, not when Rapunzel might be in danger, might _need_ him.

 _‘Hang on, Rapunzel,’_ he thought. _‘I’m coming.’_

~*~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: So, about the boat scene; I knew it was too important to Rapunzel and Eugene’s relationship to change it too much. Meaning, Varian couldn’t be present during it. But as I was trying to justify it to myself, I actually delved into Varian’s mind and reasoning and came to the conclusion that he’d just want her to be happy. I hope no one's too disappointed about it, but the boat scene really needed to keep the brunt of its original content.
> 
> (P.S. readers of my other series, Rewrite the Stars, might spot a cameo from a certain someone. But that'll be their only appearance in this fic, in case anyone was wondering.)
> 
> Now, it’s been a while since I’ve done this, but I’ve received some lovely fanart on tumblr I want to share with you all!
> 
> By charaneedsmorelove-thegoodone:  
> http://aquaquadrant.tumblr.com/post/174210748104/charaneedsmorelove-thegoodone-one-of-my-favorite
> 
> By cnv99:  
> http://aquaquadrant.tumblr.com/post/173894653629/cnv99-when-will-our-lives-begin-rapunzel
> 
> By mitsuki-81:  
> http://aquaquadrant.tumblr.com/post/173745698509/mitsuki-81-so-there-is-my-first-publication
> 
> By theirondragon42:  
> http://aquaquadrant.tumblr.com/post/173689467264/theirondragon42-aquaquadrant
> 
> By ryssbelle:  
> http://aquaquadrant.tumblr.com/post/170965898529/its-just-hair-a-little-fan-art-i-did-of
> 
> By blackraspberrybitch:  
> http://aquaquadrant.tumblr.com/post/170965331424/snowprincess-artist-in-the-brother-and-sister
> 
> A huge thank you to everyone who's sent me art, definitely go check them out! Hope you enjoyed, please comment if you did, and I’ll see you next time! - Aqua


	26. heel turn

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Title: _heel turn_  
>  Rating: G  
> Warnings: none  
> Summary: Three hearts break in one fell swoop.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Hi readers! I was absolutely floored by the lovely feedback you guys gave me on the last chapter, that had some of my favorite moments to date in it and I was really happy with how it turned out. That being said, hopefully you enjoy this one just as much! - Aqua

_heel turn_

~*~

It wasn’t long before Rapunzel saw a figure approaching.

Eugene was obscured by mist, his boots crunching on the gravel beach. She sat up at the sight of him, swinging her legs to step out of the boat. Relief cut through the thick air of tension around her, and she let out a breath that was part sigh, part laugh.

“I was starting to think you’d run off with the crown and left me,” Rapunzel admitted, an amused smile playing on her lips. Because it was funny, to have thought for a single moment that Eugene would-

The silhouette split into two, and Rapunzel’s blood turned to ice. Two large, muscular men who were decidedly _not Eugene_ but still strangely familiar- _the canyon,_ she realized with a flare of panic. The redheaded men who’d been after them in the canyon, Eugene’s former partners. Their features became clearer as they approached; thick, crooked noses, long jaws, and beady eyes glimmering with malice. They were almost identical, save for the fact that one wore an eyepatch while the other sported hair along the sides of his face.

They came to a stop before her, and one of them spoke, his voice low and grating and full of confidence.

“He did.”

Rapunzel stared at them, uncomprehending. “What? No, he…” She knit her brows together, eyes narrowing in challenge. “He _wouldn’t.”_

The man shrugged, stepping aside to sweep an arm out at the inlet. “See for yourself.”

Heart pounding, Rapunzel took a couple step towards the water’s edge, peering over its misty surface. There was a boat a little way’s off, gliding slow and silent through the water, its mast disappearing in the low-hanging clouds. She could see a man standing at the wheel. His back was to her, but the silhouette was horribly familiar.

“Eugene?” Rapunzel breathed. It couldn’t be. _“Eugene!”_

Her voice carried in the air, a devastated, pleading cry. There was no reaction from the man on the boat. From Eugene. It was like she’d stepped into another world, a world where her tentative understanding of things had been torn away and turned on its head because Eugene would _never-_

“Fair trade,” the man mused. “A crown for the girl with the magic hair.”

Rapunzel whirled around to face the brothers, her heart in her throat. They knew? _They knew?_ How could they possibly know about her powers unless-

Eugene.

Rapunzel wanted to scream. How could he, how _could_ he-

“How much do you think someone would pay to stay young and healthy forever?” the man asked his brother, his grin vicious.

“No,” Rapunzel pleaded, taking a step back. _“Please.”_

The severity of the situation dragged at her, like her clothes had been soaked heavy with icy water. She was outnumbered by two large, strong men. Her frying pan was back in the boat. They were standing on an empty beach, no leverage for her to use her still-braided hair, and no one near to help.

One of the brothers pulled out a large cloth sack, intent written into every line of his face.

Rapunzel ran.

Gravel bit at her calloused feet, shifting uneasily beneath her and spraying up from where she stepped. She didn’t have to look to know she was being pursued, a sudden rush of adrenaline like a shock to her system and urging her on as her breathing grew shallow in her ears.

It was a nightmare given form. Everything Mother had always warned her about- they’d take her away forever, reducing her to a miracle cure for the vain and selfish and she’d never be free again, never see home and never see _Varian_ and she couldn’t let that happen, she couldn’t, she’d promised she’d always be with him-

Her hair snagged on the branch of a fallen tree, the sharp tip spearing through her thick braid and snapping her head back. “No!” she cried despairingly, trying in vain to pull herself free. Panic threatened to swallow her up, clouding her thoughts, and this was it, they were going to catch her and take her away-

A shout of alarm rang out through the air, punctuated by two solid thuds. Silence. And then-

_“Rapunzel!”_

Rapunzel eyes widened. She knew that voice. Cautiously, she untangled her hair from the branch and ventured back the way she’d come, tense and wary and ready to bolt again.

“Mother?”

Mother was standing over the unconscious bodies of the two brothers, a hefty tree branch clutched in her hands. Her features were fraught with terror, shoulders hunched as she caught her breath. When she saw Rapunzel, she gasped, letting the branch fall to the ground.

“Oh, my precious girl!” Mother cried, running to her.

 _“Mother.”_ Rapunzel’s knees went weak with relief, and she practically fell into Mother’s arms. She buried her face in Mother’s cloak, her heartbeat thundering in her ears, shock and disbelief and confusion colliding with how grateful she was to see her.

“Are you alright?” Mother asked, frantically scanning her. “Are you hurt?”

Rapunzel shook her head, still reeling. “Mother, how did you-”

“I was so worried about you,” Mother explained tearfully, “so I followed you. And I saw them attack you, and- oh my, let’s go!” She took Rapunzel by the hands, urgent. “Let’s go before they come-to! We need to go find your brother.”

Mother turned away, headed back towards the forest. Rapunzel glanced back over the water, at the faint silhouette of a boat retreating into the distance.

She felt like a piece of her heart had gone with it, a gaping hole torn in her chest. Amid the hurt and betrayal was _confusion,_ a frantic buzzing in her head searching desperately for reason. It wasn’t even that Eugene had sold her out for the crown. He’d already had it. There was no need.

So why? Why give up her secret on top of everything else? Why put that final nail in the coffin when it was already in the ground? Had he thrown her to the wolves so he could get away with his prize, get the brothers to lose interest in the crown and leave him be? Had she simply been the price for his clean getaway?

And why pretend? He could’ve dropped the act the second she gave him the satchel but he didn’t, instead he shared that moment with her- warmth and light and dual lanterns spiraling into the sky- and took her by the hand and told her it was _fate,_ that they were meant to be, and she’d believed him.

Tears stung Rapunzel’s eyes.

She should’ve known. She should’ve known that people couldn’t be trusted. She never should have let herself believe that there could be more for her, that she could have a place in this world. She should’ve spared herself the pain, spared _Varian_ the pain of getting attached- and _oh,_ Varian, he was going to be so _crushed_ when he found out…

“Rapunzel?”

Rapunzel turned at the soft inquiry. Mother was standing expectantly, her expression filled with compassion and understanding as she held her arms out. Rapunzel’s breathing hitched, and she ran into Mother’s arms, the tears finally spilling down her face.

“You were right, Mother,” she whispered. “You were right about everything.”

The admission hurt. Not even an hour ago she’d been so sure, trusting and believing whole-heartedly, and now she realized what a mistake that’d been. She’d fulfilled her dream, but it’d come at the cost of her heart. And as she cried in her mother’s arms, she knew it wasn’t worth it. Nothing could be worth this pain.

Mother’s arms around her were safe and familiar, a balm on the wound. “I know, dear,” she murmured. “I know. Let’s find Varian and go home.”

Home. Suddenly Rapunzel ached for it. She held Mother tighter and managed a slight nod.

Together, they retreated into the shelter of the trees.

~*~

Varian flew across the bridge, feet pounding against stone.

Crisp air stung his face as he went, riffling through his hair and snatching at his clothes. His sword jostled in its sheath, his book swaying uncomfortably against his side in its bag. No one else was out on the bridge that night, his only companions the light of the moon and the shadow it cast alongside him. His breath came in short bursts, his blood roaring in his ears and disturbing the otherwise dead silence. The bridge seemed to run on for miles, but whenever his steps faltered or the burning of his lungs became too great, he reminded himself that Rapunzel might need him and pressed on.

He’d just stepped off the bridge when he saw a familiar figure emerge from the forest. The sight almost made him stumble, but he didn’t stop, not until he was throwing himself into her arms.

_“Rapunzel!”_

“Varian!” Rapunzel’s arms wrapped around him instantly, holding him so tight he almost couldn’t breathe. “Oh, Varian, what are you doing out here? I was just coming to find you-”

 _“I_ was coming to find _you!_ I w- was so worried!” Varian nearly trembled with relief, hugging Rapunzel fiercely before pulling away. “What happened, are you okay?” he asked, studying her face.

“Yes, I’m fine.” Rapunzel looked like she’d been crying. “But Varian-”

“Eugene, I- I know!” Urgency shot through Varian’s bloodstream like ice water. “He’s been arrested.”

Rapunzel’s eyes widened. _“What?”_

“I’ll explain on the way,” Varian said quickly, taking Rapunzel by the arm. “Right now we gotta go-”

“So, it seems justice has been served, after all.”

Varian froze.

His heart seemed to stop beating for a moment, as if a sudden cold front had blown into his ribcage and turned it to ice. It shouldn’t be possible, but that voice- there was no mistaking it. Carefully, he turned around, as if one wrong move would shatter him into pieces.

Mother stood at the edge of the trees. The stark paleness of her skin stood out against the dark forest, her hair, her dress- the redness of her lips bright as blood. For a moment, Varian could only stare, half convinced she was a figment of his imagination, the shape of a figure conjured up from the thick, dense mist gathered low in the air.

_“Mother?”_

“Don’t look so surprised!” Mother laughed, holding her arms out. “Come here, let me look at you. You’re alright, aren’t you? Nothing happened while we were away?”

Varian obeyed the command without thinking, moving automatically into Mother’s embrace as his mind desperately tried to catch up. Mother was here. Mother was here which meant she knew they’d disobeyed her and- _how did this happen there’s no way she could’ve known, she shouldn’t have been able to find out, she wasn’t supposed to find out-_

Mother pulled away, looking Varian up and down. “Well, someone’s been busy,” she noted, her lip curling with disapproval. Her eyes drifted from his messy hair, to the chalk stains on his clothes, to the bag slung over his shoulder.

Varian finally found his voice. “I- I- I don’t understand,” he stammered. “How are- what are you doing here? H- how did you-”

“What?” Mother’s eyebrows shot up, shocked. “You mean… Rapunzel didn’t tell you?”

Varian’s stomach dropped. “What do you-”

“I stopped by your little campsite last night,” Mother said, conversationally. “I tried to tell Rapunzel that you two should come home, but…” She shrugged, a helpless smile on her face. “So I gave her the satchel, told her that once that _man_ had it back, he’d leave the two of you in an instant.” Her smile sharpened to a point of deadly accuracy. “And look what happened.”

Varian’s breathing hitched. “That… no, that doesn’t m- make sense-”

“Oh, dear.” Mother looked apologetic. “I’d assumed she told you.”

Varian’s ears were ringing. The implications of what Mother was saying hit him like a punch in the gut. It was impossible, Rapunzel would never, she _wouldn’t-_ except she had. Sudden realization gripped him and it all fell into place with horrible certainty; she’d been acting strange that morning, and now he knew why.

Slowly, Varian turned to look at Rapunzel, who’d been watching the exchange silently. His voice wavered. “… Rapunzel?”

Rapunzel’s eyes widened. She reached out to put a hand on his am. “Varian, let me explain, I-”

“You didn’t tell me?” Varian jerked his arm away, sudden hot tears blurring his vision. “I- you knew and- and you didn’t _tell me?”_

Rapunzel looked terrified. “Varian, please, it wasn’t like that, I just-”

“We never keep things from each other.” Varian felt sick. “Rapunzel, how _could_ you?”

Rapunzel’s eyes were filled with tears. “I’m sorry,” she whispered hoarsely, “I just…” Her gaze flicked to Mother for a moment before back to Varian. “Please understand, I did what I thought was best.”

Varian turned away, wrapping his arms around himself and biting his lip to keep from crying. It hurt. It hurt more than he could have imagined, the sting of betrayal so sudden and unknown to him he wasn’t prepared for it.

Everything felt tainted, now. _All day_ she’d known, had kept that knowledge with her in every single moment they spent together like a dagger hidden up her sleeve. Reading together in the library, covering the market square with chalk, dancing- she’d known, while he remained blissfully unaware. 

And maybe that was why she’d done it, Varian realized, but that wasn’t good enough. They should’ve gone straight home when Mother offered, as it would’ve saved them from the wrath he knew was undoubtedly coming. And worse, Rapunzel had _lied_ to him for it. She’d told him everything was okay and he’d _trusted_ her while she put on a mask and they weren’t supposed to pretend around each other, that wasn’t how they worked.

“You thought _wrong,”_ Varian bit out.

Rapunzel’s voice was choked. “Varian, _please…”_

Mother stepped between them. “We can work this all out once we get back home,” she said soothingly. “Come along.”

Rapunzel’s response was weary, defeated, raw and bleeding with heartbreak. “Yes, Mother.”

Varian sniffled, wiping his eyes with the back of his glove. As much as he was hurting, as scared as he was about making Mother more upset with him than she already was- and she was, he knew it, because he’d disobeyed her- they couldn’t go home yet. Nothing was sitting right, nothing was making sense, and he couldn’t just leave it at that.

Varian took a deep breath. “B- but… Eugene,” he said shakily. He took a step back, back towards the bridge. “He n- needs help, we have to-”

“He’s a criminal,” Mother snapped. “He broke the law, and now he’ll face the consequences. That’s just the way the world works.”

Desperately, Varian glanced at Rapunzel. “Th- there _has_ to be more to it.”

Rapunzel was staring off over the water, her brows knit together. Her gaze was far away, her red-rimmed eyes tired and beaten down like the light in them had died forever. It was a terrible expression.

“I… is he going to be okay?” she ventured, her quiet voice aching with worry.

Mother’s expression smoothed over. “It’s alright, dear.” Her voice fell soft once again, and she gently swept a hand over Rapunzel’s hair. “He’ll merely spend some well-deserved time in prison, where he’ll hopefully rethink his life choices and reenter society a changed man. Besides,” she added, a bit of scorn flashing in her eyes, “he abandoned you. Left you to those… _ruffians.”_

“What?” Varian frowned. “Wh- what do you mean? What happened?”

“The… men from the canyon,” Rapunzel said absently, her eyes still on the castle. “They attacked me, tried to take me away…” Her voice dropped, the stiff and careful control of being on the verge of tears. “They knew about my powers, Varian. How… how else would they know unless Eugene told them?”

“He got what he deserved,” Mother sniffed. “All’s well that ends well.”

Rapunzel hesitated. “… right,” she said finally, turning away from the castle.

Varian’s heart plummeted. “No,” he pleaded, shaking his head frantically. “Something’s w- wrong, there _must_ be a- a logical explanation! Eugene wouldn’t do that, he- he wouldn’t j- just-”

“That’s enough, Varian,” Mother said, warningly.

“But Mother, please-”

 _“Enough.”_ Mother turned to Varian, reaching a hand out to cradle the back of his head. Her sharp nails dug into his neck like little daggers as her narrowed eyes bore into his, pinning him under her gaze. “We’re going home, now,” she said slowly, pointedly, each word dripping with finality.

Varian stared back, wavering. He was wracked with indecision, his instincts screaming for him to back down but something deeper inside him insisting this wasn’t right, urging him to fight. But for the first time, he didn’t know if Rapunzel would stand with him. What had once always been a given, had always been promised, was now fraught with uncertainty, the cut of her betrayal leaving him crippled with doubt. He didn’t know and he wasn’t strong enough to do it without her and the risk was just too high.

_I’m sorry, Eugene._

Varian lowered his gaze. “… yes, Mother.”

“Good.” Mother pulled away. Her hand brushed his cheek as she did so, gently wiping away a smudge of purple chalk. It made Varian flinch, anyways. “Now, let’s get going.”

With that, Mother turned and strode away from the bridge, into the forest. Varian could feel Rapunzel’s gaze on him. She lingered a moment, the shifting of her feet uncertain, before silently following Mother.

Varian took a shaky breath and glanced over his shoulder, giving the castle one last look before turning away.

~*~

Flynn paced back and forth across his cell.

It was morning, now. The pale gray light from his small, barred window cast his shadow along the stone floor, a frantic pantomime of his own anxiety. His boots drummed out a steady rhythm, echoing the tempo of his pounding heartbeat. Tired, burning eyes traced the lines of the walls, as if they’d magically reveal some miraculous solution to all his problems.

He should’ve slept. He knew he should’ve, should’ve forced himself to lie down and at least rest his eyes for a few hours, but with the way his mind was racing he figured he’d have about as much luck with that as he would catching sunlight.

Stupid. That’s what Flynn kept coming back to- how could he have been so _stupid?_ He should’ve known better than to try and patch things up with the Stabbingtons. Even if they hadn’t known about Rapunzel- and _how_ they knew was still baffling him- there was no way they would’ve accepted his offering amicably. They didn’t get the name the _Stabbington_ Brothers by letting bygones be bygones.

Now, not only had Flynn gotten himself into hot water but he’d put Rapunzel in danger as well. He’d seen firsthand how capable she could be, that she had no problem defending herself, but she’d been all alone on an isolated shore, far from any help, and the Stabbingtons weren’t a threat to take lightly. After all, they’d gotten the drop on Flynn, knocked him out and tied him to that boat. The thought that they might have gotten Rapunzel terrified him like nothing else.

And worse still, in all this Rapunzel wouldn’t know the truth about what’d happened to Flynn. She probably thought he’d abandoned her- what _else_ could she think? How else could it possibly look? He’d simply run off with the satchel without an explanation other than _‘there’s just something I have to take care of’_ and then disappeared, leaving her to the clutches of two thugs who want to use her powers for profit.

What else could it look like other than Flynn trading Rapunzel, betraying her secret, in exchange for the satchel? No, _worse,_ it looked like he’d run off with the satchel and then gave her secret up, to boot.

A shining example of what _not_ to do.

All Flynn could do now was hope beyond hope that Rapunzel had gotten away safely, that she’d found Varian and they were both alright. Even so, knowing that they were alone in a world they barely knew filled him with dread, when he should’ve been there to look after them.

Should’ve, could’ve, would’ve.

“Why did I _do_ that…?” Flynn murmured to himself, frustrated tears pricking at his eyes.

No, scratch that, he knew _exactly_ why.

The moment he found out Rapunzel felt the same way about him? Everything had changed. Suddenly there was so much more laying ahead of him than he ever could have imagined, and he’d been so ready to embrace it, to leave the life he knew behind. He would’ve gotten Rapunzel and Varian back to their tower and met this mother of theirs, seen for himself if she was anything like what he was fearing.

And if she was, Flynn would’ve done whatever it took to get them away from her, to help them start over. He knew of at least a dozen towns to disappear in- big enough that their arrival wouldn’t cause buzz, but small enough to feel like a home- and they’d make a go at it. Finding work wouldn’t be too hard, not for a young, healthy man like himself. He’d make enough to keep a roof over their heads, at least. A modest place, not much, but they’d make it their own. Maybe Rapunzel would paint; the spiraling flowers and birds he’d seen in their tower sprawled across wooden walls and up into the rafters. Varian could go to school. And they both could live without fear, live the lives they should’ve had all these years.

Flynn grabbed the bars of the cell’s window.

Should’ve, could’ve, would’ve. What a mess.

He’d gotten ahead of himself, that’s why. He’d been so ready to leave this part of his life behind him that he acted without thinking. And now, because of it, he’d ruined everything. He’d never know what happened to Rapunzel and Varian, probably never see them again, would never know what might’ve been, because he was either going to spend the rest of his life rotting away in here or-

The door to his cell swung open. Flynn turned away from the window.

The Captain stood in the doorway. “Let’s get this over with, Rider.”

Flynn studied the Captain carefully. Took note of his expression, the way he held himself. The _three other guards_ standing behind him, equally as grim, hands resting tense beside their sword hilts as if anticipating a fight.

“… where are we going?” Flynn asked, as if that might change what he already knew was coming.

The Captain’s jaw tightened.

“Oh.” Flynn’s hand found his throat. He could almost feel the noose.

The realization was less like a wave crashing over him, and more like a single drop of rain on his head, making him look up. He wasn’t sure if it was the fact that he’d already tangled with death only yesterday, making him less surprised to see it approaching him now like a lover scorned. Maybe a part of him had always expected it to end this way, had always known he couldn’t keep running forever. Whatever it was, it allowed him to push down his panic and meet the Captain’s gaze steadily.

“Listen to me,” Flynn said slowly, putting his hands up. “I’m not gonna fight. But those two people I was with? The girl, and- and the little boy? They might be in trouble and-”

“Rider-”

 _“Please.”_ Flynn didn’t care if he was begging, now. “They never aided me in any crime, I was responsible for the whole thing, please, don’t let them pay for my actions. Find them, make sure they’re safe. And help them get home.”

The Captain hesitated.

Flynn swallowed, his shoulders heavy with the weight of two lives depending on him. “Call it a… last request,” he offered, the corner of his mouth quirking up in a bone-dry grin.

Finally, the Captain nodded. “Very well,” he said, his voice impassive but a telling softness to his eyes. “I give you my word.” He pulled a pair of metal shackles from his belt, the order going unspoken.

It’d have to be enough. 

Flynn held out his hands.

~*~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: We’re getting into it now, readers! Four chapters left for the movie! I hope you’re as excited as I am. As always, thanks for reading, please leave a comment if you liked it, and I’ll see you next time!
> 
> P.S. I also received another wonderful piece of fanart since my last update! - Aqua
> 
> By Choco-Lottie:  
> http://aquaquadrant.tumblr.com/post/175897889374/i-promise-youll-never-be-alone


	27. shatterpoint, part I - before the fall

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Title: _shatterpoint, part I – before the fall_  
>  Rating: T  
> Warnings: emotional abuse, gaslighting, victim blaming, violence slightly more intense than canon, minor description of hanging  
> Summary: Rapunzel has a realization that turns her and Varian’s world upside down.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Hi readers! Big thank you for all the lovely comments, I’ll reply as soon as I’m able. Now, this chapter is… it’s a doozy. I’ve been anticipating this one since I started writing this fic over half a year ago. I really, really hope you enjoy, but please take note of the warnings!
> 
> Also, to clarify, Rapunzel still had that moment of realization in the movie with the lost princess mural, before the kingdom dance. I just didn’t mention it because nothing changed, and that scene was from Varian’s pov. So, keep that in mind and read on! - Aqua

__

_shatterpoint, part I – before the fall_

~*~

Varian rolled another flower petal between his fingers, studying the delicate veining before setting it aside.

His gloved hands gently threaded through Rapunzel’s hair, helping Mother unravel the elaborate braid. Rapunzel sat hunched over on the bed as they worked, her hands in her lap, her eyes downcast. She hadn’t spoken so much as a word the entire time. Varian hadn’t either.

It was a shallow imitation of the way they normally acted when Mother was home. Quiet. Polite. Speaking when spoken to. Except without the effort, without the pretending everything was okay.

They’d barely spoken the entire trip home. Hours and hours spent in tense silence, except for when Mother attempted small talk or Rapunzel started crying again. To Varian’s surprise, Mother had kept to her word, hadn’t scolded them once for their deception. But he knew it was coming. He could feel it building, like dark clouds gathering over the horizon. He trembled to think of what the storm would be like.

“There.” Mother plucked the last flower from Rapunzel’s hair, dropping it into a small basket with the others. She swept the basket onto her arm and rose to her feet, ruffling Varian’s hair as she passed. “All taken care of.”

Rapunzel’s hair was a familiar sight now, spilled over the room. Privately, Varian mourned the loss of the braid.

Mother lingered in the doorway, a hand on the curtain. “I’ll be starting dinner soon,” she announced.

There was no reaction from Rapunzel, Varian averting his gaze uncomfortably.

Mother sighed. “I really did try, Rapunzel,” she said sadly. “I tried to warn you what was out there. The world is dark, and selfish, and cruel. If it finds even the slightest ray of sunshine, it _destroys_ it.”

Mother shut the curtain with a flourish, her footsteps fading down the stairs.

Varian took a deep breath, looking over at Rapunzel. “Are… you okay?” he ventured.

Rapunzel was quiet for a moment. “I’m sorry, Varian.” Her voice was hoarse and weary from crying, but still fresh with hurt. “For not telling you about Mother.”

Varian swallowed, lowering his gaze to stare at the bed. “We don’t keep things from each other,” he mumbled, fidgeting with the edge of the comforter.

Rapunzel exhaled shakily. “I know. I’m sorry. I just… got so scared that if I told you, you’d want to go home…” She squeezed her eyes shut. “It was selfish of me. I… I’m so sorry, Varian,” she murmured, meeting his gaze again. “I won’t do it again.”

Varian creased his brows together. “Hey, it’s… it’s okay,” he said softly. “I get it. You’re right, I- I would’ve wanted to go home and… what would it have all been for? No, it’s- it’s not selfish to have a dream.”

Rapunzel was already shaking her head. “I shouldn’t have done it. We should’ve gone home- we should’ve never _left.”_ Her eyes shone with tears. “Everything I put you through just… chasing after a silly dream-” She broke off, wiping at her face. “I’m sorry. It wasn’t fair to you.”

Varian’s heart twisted. “Rapunzel, no, I… I meant everything I said.” He put a hand on her arm. “I’m… scared,” he admitted, glancing over his shoulder at the curtain. “But… I’m glad we did it,” he decided, meeting Rapunzel’s gaze.

Rapunzel’s expression tightened. “… even with how it ended?” she asked carefully.

Varian bit his lip. “Rapunzel,” he said, his voice low, “do you really think Eugene would do something like that?”

Pain flashed in Rapunzel’s eyes. “Varian-”

“After everything he did for us!” Varian pressed. “And- and the way he feels about _you!”_

Rapunzel pulled away. “Face the facts, Varian!” she said tearfully. “He never cared about me- about _us._ Once he got his crown back, he was gone.”

“That _can’t_ be the whole story,” Varian insisted. “You didn’t see him, when they were taking him away. He looked terrified, Rapunzel, he fought so hard, calling your name-”

“That doesn’t mean anything.” Rapunzel wrapped her arms around herself, shaking her head. “Of course he didn’t want to be caught, he’s a _criminal._ And now he’s in prison and I’m back home and we’re both where we belong.”

“Rapunzel, he’s in _love with you!”_

Rapunzel stared at Varian. 

It took Varian a moment to process the words, that the outburst was his own. He suddenly wished he could take them back. It almost hurt, admitting it, all the insecurities from before rushing back to consume him once more. But they were true, and she needed to hear them.

“He is,” Varian said, quieter.

When Rapunzel spoke again, her voice was shaking. “You don’t know that.”

“I don’t need to know, I can _feel_ it,” Varian answered.

Rapunzel didn’t respond for a moment, inhaling slowly. There was a struggle behind her eyes, opposing thoughts and feelings tearing her in two. “And… so what if he is?” she said finally. “Varian, that world out there… isn’t meant for us.”

“Do you _really_ believe that?” Varian asked, almost desperately. “Did you ever?”

Rapunzel’s face was pale. “I don’t know anymore,” she whispered.

Varian’s expression softened. He studied her for a moment- his sister, his everything, the person he always counted on. Whenever things went wrong, whenever Varian was hurt or sad or confused he looked to her, and she made everything alright again. She always knew what to do.

But all of a sudden, that’d changed. She’d loved and she’d lost and it’d left her uncertain, scared to risk and hope and _dream_ for something more. And now, it was Varian’s turn to come through for Rapunzel.

He took a deep breath. “Rapunzel-”

Mother’s voice floated up from downstairs.

“Varian? Varian, come down here. Rapunzel needs some time alone.”

Varian’s heart jolted. He gave Rapunzel a pleading look. “Rapunzel, _please.”_

Any nerve Rapunzel might’ve had was gone now. She was defeated, and it showed in her eyes, the slump of her shoulders, the complete lack of brightness to her. “You should go,” she said thickly, turning away.

Varian bit his tongue. The moment had passed- if he persisted, Mother would come up, and he’d lose any progress he’d already made. He had to cut his losses, talk to Rapunzel later.

Varian swallowed, sliding off the bed. “… please think about it,” he said in parting.

Rapunzel didn’t respond. Varian slipped through the curtain and out of the room.

There was a tense atmosphere to the tower when Varian stepped out onto the staircase. Mother’s back was to Varian as she stooped over the table, lighting a candle. Varian hovered uncertainly at the top of the stairs for a moment before carefully making his way down, a hand gripping the banister for support.

He’d just toed off the last step when Mother spoke.

“Let’s not bother your sister, Varian.” She sounded deceptively calm, almost conversational, as she held a lit match to the wick. “She’s been through quite a bit. You shouldn’t be upsetting her; the heartbreak is punishment enough for her disobedience.” Once the candle was burning, she straightened up, extinguishing the match with her fingertips. Her voice hardened. _“Your_ punishment, however, has hardly begun.”

A chill ran down Varian’s spine at Mother’s tone- at the quiet, contained fury. She finally turned to face him, and her cold smile sent his heart plummeting.

“Let’s have a chat, shall we?”

~*~

Rapunzel fell back onto her bed with a sigh, staring up at the ceiling.

Pale light from the window washed everything in a faded, dull hue. She could faintly hear Varian and Mother talking quietly downstairs, but it sounded far away. She didn’t want to move, to feel or think or do anything but sink deeper into her mattress until she disappeared.

Everything was a mess. She didn’t think it could get much worse than this. How could the best day of her life have such a disastrous ending? How had things gone so _wrong?_

Disobeying Mother, getting into all sorts of trouble. Nearly getting taken away forever. Trusting someone with her heart only for it to get stomped into a gravel beach, her tentative hopes for love sailing away across the misty water.

And the worst thing was that she’d hurt Varian. All the guilt she’d been able to subdue with wishful thinking, with the promise to herself that it’d be worth it, that it’d make sense later, that he’d understand, came back in full force. She’d betrayed Varian’s trust- and even if he’d forgiven her, Rapunzel knew neither of them would forget it. She wouldn’t _let_ herself forget it.

She shouldn’t have done this. She should’ve known better than to risk everything for a dream, should’ve been more responsible and more mature and told Varian no when he suggested it in the first place. Should’ve been happy with the answer Eugene gave her and sent him on his way. Things would’ve been better for all of them.

But even now, a part of Rapunzel couldn’t help but wonder at what Varian had said. What if he was right, and Eugene _hadn’t_ abandoned her? What if there was more to it? What if he’d meant it, when he took her hand and told her it was fate and-

No. Rapunzel pushed the thoughts away. Dreaming had gotten her into this mess; it wasn’t going to fix anything. It wasn’t going to help anything. Right now, she had to think about moving on. About repairing what’d been broken. And if she was to do that, she couldn’t cling to hopeless dreams. She needed to be _here._ For Varian.

Swallowing, Rapunzel reached underneath her pillow. She pulled out a small, rectangular piece of fabric, a rich, royal purple with a bright yellow sun etched carefully in the center. Eugene had given it to her yesterday, before the dancing, before the lanterns, a memento of the day she finally fulfilled her lifelong dream. She brushed her thumb over it, feeling the softness of the fabric, the grooves of the stitching, her eyes tracing the curves of the sun, before she lowered it with a sigh. She needed to move on, and burning this would be the first step.

As Rapunzel moved to slide off the bed, something caught her gaze. She paused, head craned to the ceiling, eyes narrowed and searching. The moment dragged on long enough that she started to wonder if she’d imagined it- but there was something whispering in the back of her mind, _no, look closer._

Uncertainly, Rapunzel held up the little fabric square, eyes darting back and forth between it and the ceiling. There- seven distinct blades, curving the same way in a spiral, on a flower she’d painted years ago. She stared, the image becoming clear and clearer the more she looked- and that wasn’t all.

Suns. More of them, too many to count. A repeating pattern hidden in leaves and flowers, the gowns of fairies, clouds and birds and landscapes-

Snatches of images flashed in her mind- a crib and a mobile and two fuzzy faces. The same faces from a tile mosaic in a brightly lit square, a baby girl with blonde hair cradled in their arms. Her own face, staring back at herself in the mirror with the crown sparkling on her head, a perfect fit, like she’d been made for it- or rather, it’d been made for her-

Rapunzel dropped the fabric square, gasping.

She _remembered._ She didn’t know how, but suddenly one thing was clear; she was the lost princess. The thought seared through her, a truth burning in her very soul. She couldn’t tell if she wanted to scream or cry and they ended up canceling each other out, leaving her in a stunned sort of shock. Her mind was racing a thousand miles a second, putting together all the implications.

Of course Eugene hadn't betrayed her. It was Mother- it was all her, this whole time.

Rapunzel took a deep breath, controlling herself. She stood up on shaky legs, looking toward the curtain separating her room from downstairs. Something settled in the pit of her stomach, a nauseating mixture of dread and certainty and realization.

The woman who’d pretended to be her mother all her life was a liar.

And Rapunzel and Varian were no longer safe here.

~*~

Varian stood uncertainly before Mother, wilting beneath the harsh scrutiny of her gaze.

The silence of the room was almost unbearable, filling him with dread the longer it built- which, he thought, might’ve been the intention. On the table, the candle flickered madly, its wavering flame a perfect representation of his anxiety.

Mother finally spoke. “You both disobeyed me.”

“I’m sorry, Mother,” Varian said instantly. He wrung his hands together, picking at worn leather. “It was my idea, I convinced Rapunzel that we could get Eugene to take us to see the lights.”

“And why would you do such a thing?” Mother asked.

Because Rapunzel deserved it. Because she’d been dreaming about it her whole life, because it wasn’t much to ask, because he knew she wouldn’t have done it on her own. 

Varian said none of that.

“Because I was being selfish,” he said hoarsely, staring at the candle’s flame until his vision blurred. “I w- wanted to see what it- what it was like outside, even though it’s against th- the rules.”

Mother studied him for a moment. “Did you tell anyone about your powers? Yours or Rapunzel’s?”

Varian almost said no on reflex, but hesitated. If Mother had visited them the night at the campfire… what if she knew about the healing? What if she’d stuck around until morning and heard his conversation with Eugene?

“Just Eugene,” Varian said tentatively. “That was m- my fault, too. I- I got hurt and Rapunzel healed me. No one else knows.”

Mother didn’t seem bothered that Eugene knew, didn’t get angry like Varian had been expecting. She merely nodded. “Varian, do you know why we stay in this tower?” she asked mildly.

Varian shuddered. “Y- yes, Mother.”

Mother’s gaze hardened. “Tell me.”

Varian tripped over the words. “Be- because the w- world is a cruel, dangerous place that only- that only wants t- to hurt us. They’d kill me out of fear and- and use Rapunzel’s powers for themselves.”

“Hm, so you do know, then.” Mother raised her eyebrows in mock surprise. “Then tell me, why would you think it was worth the risk?”

There was nothing Varian could say to justify himself. What was he _supposed_ to say? That he'd thought Rapunzel fulfilling her dream was more important than listening to Mother? There was no way that’d go over well. She wouldn’t want to hear excuses, either. And he didn’t think he could lie right now.

Varian hung his head. “I’m sorry, Mother.”

Mother made a noncommittal noise. Her footsteps echoed in the tower- slow, measured, deliberate. “What’s this?”

Varian glanced up to see Mother holding his history book, plucked from his cloth bag from where he’d draped it across a chair. His heart jolted. “A b- book.”

“I can see that,” Mother said flatly. “Where did you get it?”

Varian winced. “It w- was a gift. From Eugene.”

Mother tilted her head. “Well, isn’t that nice,” she mused, running a finger along the book’s weathered spine.

Varian swallowed hard. “M- Mother, I-”

Mother held the book over the candle, catching it on fire.

Varian choked back a cry of protest, biting his lip hard enough to bleed. He curled his hands into fists inside his gloves, breathing heavily through his nose as he watched flames eat up the old book. Tears stung his eyes, a sob catching in his throat.

 _It’s not fair,_ he wanted to scream. _Please don’t,_ he almost begged. _I’m sorry,_ he tried to say.

But none of the words would come.

Mother tossed the burning book into the unlit fireplace where it continued to smolder, a gentle crackling filling the air. She dusted her hands off, the coldness of her face like it’d been carved from stone. “There. That’s the end of that.” She looked back over at Varian and her expression softened. She sighed, opening her arms. “Oh, Varian. Come here.”

Varian swallowed the blood in his mouth and obeyed, accepting the hug. Several instincts clashed violently in his mind- he wanted to be anywhere else, but he also wanted comfort.

Mother put her arms around him, and Varian finally broke, sagging into the embrace as he started to cry. He pulled a hand up to bite down on his glove, his other hand gripping Mother’s skirts. For once, Mother didn’t chastise him for it, simply running a hand through his hair.

“Do you know why I do this, Varian?” Mother asked softly. “I don’t enjoy it, you know, I only do it because you make me. If you break the rules, I have no choice but to punish you. Do you understand?”

Varian sniffled. “Yes, M- Mother,” he mumbled, his voice thick.

“The world isn’t safe for you,” Mother continued, her voice strangely soothing. “You’ve seen it, seen what happened. What almost happened to Rapunzel.”

It was true. Since leaving the tower, Varian had been through more turmoil, more danger than he’d experienced in his entire life. Pub brawls, fleeing from pursuers, sword fights on a cliff. Nearly drowning, broken ribs, broken trust. And Rapunzel, almost taken, almost gone forever for the very reason they’d always feared, for simply being who she was and what she could do.

But he’d also seen endless forests and massive canyons carved into the earth and a city that was as grand as it was homely. He’d seen a self-serving thief who gave freely and cared with every piece of his heart. He’d seen beauty and wonder and joy beyond anything he could’ve imagined, seen a world where criminals had dreams and people danced with strangers and a kingdom sent thousands of glowing lanterns into the sky every year.

Varian said none of that.

“Yes, Mother.”

Mother’s hand rested at the back of Varian’s neck, cradling. “If I can’t trust that you’ll follow the rules, then I can’t protect you. I just want to keep you safe.” Her voice dropped. “When I discovered you two missing, I didn’t know what to think. I had no idea what’d happened, if you were alright…” She exhaled shakily. “I’ve never been so scared in all my life.” 

Varian’s throat tightened, a pit of guilt curling in his stomach. He hadn’t thought of that. “I won’t disobey you again,” he said quietly. “I promise.”

“Very good.” Mother’s hand drifted to Varian’s chin, tilting his face up to meet her gaze. She gave him a gentle smile. “Let’s put this all behind us, hm?”

“Okay, Mother.” Varian managed a faint smile.

Mother pressed a kiss to his temple. “I love you.”

“I love you, too,” Varian said quietly.

“Now, then.” Mother stepped away, turning towards the kitchen. It was like everything had been swept under the rug, her tone casual and light. “Why don’t you wash up and help me with dinner?”

Varian wiped at his face, glancing at the fireplace. The book was nothing but a smoking pile of ash. His heart ached at the sight of it, so he made himself look away.

“Yes, Mother.”

~*~

Rapunzel pushed her curtain aside, peering into the main room of the tower.

Mother was in the kitchen, gathering jars of spices from the cupboards. Varian was beside her, chopping vegetables. Something was lit in the fireplace, dying embers glowing faintly, and a lone candle flickered on the table, wavering gently in the breeze from the open window. 

It was bizarre, because it was so _normal._ Rapunzel made her way down the stairs slowly, heart pounding, mind reeling from the strangeness of it all, like she was trapped in some surreal dream. Except unlike most dreams, she knew exactly what she needed to do.

Rapunzel stopped at the bottom of the stairs. “Mother.”

Mother looked over in surprise. “Oh, hello dear!” she greeted. “Feeling better?”

Rapunzel stared into the eyes of the woman who’d stolen her from her family. The woman who’d lied to her and kept her locked up, a prisoner of fear and doubt and insecurities as much as she was of stone walls. Who’d belittled and berated and constantly torn her down, clipped wings that were never given a chance to grow.

(And her treatment of Varian? Unforgiveable.)

She was also the same woman who’d held Rapunzel when she cried, sang her to sleep when she was little, brought her presents just to brighten her day. Who stayed home when she was sick and hugged her goodbye when she left. Brushed hair and forehead kisses and _‘I love you, most.’_

But none of it was real. Rapunzel had seen real love, felt and lived and _breathed_ it- the steadfast love she and Varian shared as brother and sister. The new love she’d found with Eugene, different and strange and almost terrifying in how all-consuming it was. And the joyous, unselfish love she’d experienced out in the world, in tavern singalongs and kingdom dances and flickering with every floating lantern that glowed in the night sky.

“I’m the lost princess,” Rapunzel said.

Varian dropped the knife he was holding.

The smile dropped off Mother’s face. _“… what?”_

Rapunzel narrowed her eyes. “I am the lost princess,” she repeated coldly. She tilted her head. “Aren’t I?”

Mother blinked before breaking into a wide, placating grin. “Oh Rapunzel, do you even hear yourself?” she asked, reaching out to pull Rapunzel into a hug. “Why would you ask such a ridiculous question?”

“It was you!” Rapunzel snapped, pushing her away. “It was _all you-”_

“Mother?” Varian’s voice was impossibly fragile.

Mother turned her attention to Varian, smiling, beseeching. “Varian, please, don’t tell me you believe this nonsense, too?”

But Varian wasn’t looking at Mother anymore, he was looking at Rapunzel.

“I saw a mural, in the city,” Rapunzel said lowly. “Of the lost princess. A baby girl with long, blonde hair, who disappeared without a trace and has the same birthday as me. It all makes sense.”

Varian’s eyes widened. “The lanterns are for you,” he breathed.

Mother’s haze hardened. “Listen to me,” she said, drawing herself up. “Everything I did was to _protect_ you, you and Varian both.”

Rapunzel’s skin crawled. “I’ve spent my _entire life_ hiding from people who would use me for my power, but I should have been hiding from you!” She threw her hands in the air. “How can you justify what you’ve done? Taking me? And Varian- did you really save his life as a baby or was that a lie, and you stole him, too?” she accused.

Mother’s expression twisted. “You are _my children!”_

“No!” Rapunzel swept an arm out. “You _stole_ us! That doesn’t make us yours.”

There was a dark light in Mother’s eyes. “They had no idea of your true nature. Neither of you.” Her lip curled. “Do you _really_ think children like you would’ve made it out in that world? Only I understand you, your _destiny.”_

Rapunzel suppressed a shiver at the words, refusing to let her unease show. “Even if that were true,” she said quietly, “that doesn’t make it right.” Setting her jaw in resolve, she looked over at Varian, who seemed shell-shocked. “Let’s go, Varian.”

Mother huffed a laugh, disbelieving. “So what, you two just run off on your own?” she asked, putting her hands on her hips. “Who will take care of Varian, _you?”_

Rapunzel lifted her chin. “I have been more of a mother to him than you ever were.”

Mother’s face did something incredibly strange; she almost looked hurt. “Where will you go?” she asked finally, her voice tight. “He won’t be there for you. He’s going to be _hanged,_ Rapunzel.”

Rapunzel faltered, her determination extinguished all at once like snuffing out a candle. “What?” 

“No,” Varian breathed, his face pale.

Sudden tears stung Rapunzel’s eyes. Hanged. Eugene, _hanged._ Kind, funny, wonderful Eugene swaying limp and lifeless from the gallows- no, no, no, it couldn’t be true, Mother was lying, she _had_ to be-

“Now, now, it’s alright,” Mother said, her tone suddenly soothing. She reached out to stroke Rapunzel’s hair. “Listen to me. Everything is as it should be.”

 _“No.”_ Rapunzel grabbed Mother’s hand, full of fury and resolve and vitriol for the first time in her life. Her voice roared with a thunder she’d never wielded before, but it felt perfectly, intimately _right._ “You were wrong about the world, and you were wrong about _us!_ And I will _never_ let you use my hair _ever again!”_

Mother ripped her arm away like she’d been burned, staggering backwards into the standing mirror. It toppled to the ground, shattering with an ear-splitting crash. Mother stared at it, stared at Rapunzel like she didn’t recognize what she was seeing.

Good. Rapunzel leveled a glare at Mother before turning away, towards the window. “Come on, Varian,” she said, gathering her hair up. “We’re leaving.”

The open window beckoned her, a stretch of pale gray sky. Maybe it wasn’t too late yet, maybe they’d reach the castle in time. Maybe they’d get there and Eugene wouldn’t even be in danger, maybe Mother had lied, and they could go from there. She’d explain the situation, and _surely_ they’d let Eugene go, and then they could-

“I wouldn’t.”

Rapunzel stopped at Mother’s voice, picking out the sudden shift in tone. She turned back around, brows furrowing. “What do you…”

Her voice died.

Mother was holding a kitchen knife to Varian’s throat.

~*~

Varian couldn’t move.

Mother’s hand gripped his shoulder, the other holding a knife to his throat. It took him a moment to grasp the situation fully, the cold weight of metal against his skin, her presence behind him- fitting the pieces together like some twisted puzzle.

Mother had stolen him and Rapunzel as babies. Mother had lied to them their entire lives, keeping them inside not to protect them but to contain them. And Mother was willing to threaten him with harm to stop them from leaving. _Mother was holding a knife to his throat-_

“Now, then.” Mother’s voice was suddenly devoid of emotion. “Close the window.”

Rapunzel stared. “Mother, what are you-”

 _“Close it,”_ Mother repeated. Her nails dug into Varian’s shoulder, making him flinch.

Rapunzel quickly closed the shutters, eyes big and frightened. The tower was shrouded in sudden darkness, lit only by the candle on the table and the embers in the fireplace.

“Good,” Mother praised. “Now, pull the table out, find the second stone from the bottom. The one with the gray streak across it. Pull it out from the wall.”

Rapunzel carefully pulled the table away from the wall, crouching by the floor. Giving Mother a confused look, she felt along the wall until she found the stone, digging her fingertips into the cracks to pull it free. Setting the stone down, her eyes widened as she looked at the wall, her breathing hitching.

Stowed away in a little nook in the wall were chains. Long, thick chains coated with dust, shackles on either end. Rapunzel looked like she was going to be sick, a similar feeling seizing Varian as they shared a sudden realization.

Those chains had sat there for years, hidden away by a couple inches of stone from where they sang and played together and ate as a family. Mother had been prepared for this. She’d always been prepared for this. It was like they’d spent their entire lives with a stranger.

“Take one of the shackles and lock it around your wrist,” Mother instructed, her tone clipped. “Lock the other one around the banister.”

With shaking hands, Rapunzel drew one of the chains out, finding a key already in the shackle’s lock. She hesitated, meeting Varian’s gaze for a moment before looking up at Mother. She took a shaky breath.

“P- please, Mother, don’t-”

Mother pressed the knife against Varian’s throat.

The edge of the blade nicked into his skin, drawing a strangled cry of pain out of him. Shock and alarm and fear collided violently in his mind, paralyzing him, his breathing hitching as he felt a drop of blood trickle down his front. He could smell the nauseating tang of copper- not much, just a cut, but it was close and the intent behind it was terrifying.

 _“Now,_ dear,” Mother said warningly.

Rapunzel hastened to obey, a few tears streaking down her face as she locked one shackle around her wrist and the other around the banister, chaining her to it.

Varian watched as if he was outside of himself. His mind was screaming, his heart racing frantically as if it could spur him into motion, but his body wouldn’t react, the knife’s blade seeming to burn against his throat.

If he didn’t act now, it was over. Mother would have them, and never let them go, he knew it. He knew they were at a point of no return, he could feel it as if he were standing on a ledge, rushing wind from the chasm below pulling at him. He was frozen in that moment just before the fall, caught between two different pulls of gravity. It was up to him which pull was stronger.

“Now,” Mother continued calmly, “slide the key over.”

The key skittered across the tower floor, and Varian dropped off the ledge.

Ripping a glove off, he reached up to grab Mother by the wrist, the hand that held the knife. Twisting out of her grip to face her, his hand firm around her wrist, Varian opened his mouth and began to sing.

_“Flower, burn and shine-”_

The effect was instantaneous. His hair rippled with light, burning at the edges of his vision almost painfully. Mother’s strength was the first thing to go, her eyes wide with shock as she clawed at his hand in vain, trying to pry him off but finding herself unable. The knife slipped from her hand, clattering to the floor.

_“Make your power mine…”_

Varian felt far away, his own words echoing strangely in his head. Adrenaline coursed through his veins like nothing he’d ever felt before- power, magic, _life._ It was draining from Mother and flowing into him, her hair graying, her skin withering, wasting away before his very eyes.

_“Time resume it’s-”_

A small gasp caught Varian’s attention. He cut his eyes to the side, not relaxing his hold.

Rapunzel was staring at the scene before her, her hands covering her mouth. Her eyes were wide, filled with pure, unadulterated _horror._ But what made Varian’s blood run cold was that she was staring at _him._

Varian faltered, the words dying on his tongue. The incomplete spell imploded on itself, violently tearing at him, pulling back the strength and the life he’d been taking. It almost ricocheted out of him, like a rush of air sucked from his lungs, sending him staggering backwards into the table.

Mother stood before him, her youth restored, looking thoroughly shaken.

Realization dawned on Varian, crashing over him like floodwaters. His breath stuck in his throat, terror seizing him so completely he thought his heart might stop beating. He’d almost killed Mother. He’d _tried_ to kill Mother.

Tears flooded his vision. “M- Mother…” Varian gasped out. “I- I’m sorry, I d- didn’t-”

Eyes wide, Mother slowly reached a shaky hand out to cup Varian’s cheek- gently, reverently, her expression clouding with emotion. She shifted to cradle the back of his head, like an embrace. Then her fingers tightened in his hair, sharp nails digging into his skin like claws.

Mother slammed Varian’s head against the wall.

Everything went black.

~*~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Varian isn’t dead. That’s all I’m gonna say. - Aqua


	28. shatterpoint, part II - things that are

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Title: _shatterpoint, part II - things that are_  
>  Rating: T  
> Warnings: description of injury, blood, violence  
> Summary: Rapunzel struggles to stay afloat, and Varian is sinking.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Hi readers! I really appreciate everyone’s continued support, and the response to last chapter was better than I could have ever imagined, so thank you for that! So, this one is a bit shorter than they have been lately, sorry for that, but it was just how the pacing of the story worked out. Hopefully it won’t disappoint! - Aqua

__

_shatterpoint, part II – things that are_

~*~

Rapunzel screamed.

There was a distinct crack as Varian’s head slammed against the stone wall. The pain in his expression lasted only a heartbeat before his face went completely slack, his eyes slipping closed. He dropped instantly, crumpling to the ground like a ragdoll where he lay perfectly, frighteningly still, blood quickly pooling around his head in a grim halo.

Rapunzel’s heart might’ve stopped beating. _“Varian!”_ She lunged forward, a burning in her arm as the chains jerked her back. “Varian, _no!”_

“Oh, _please_ Rapunzel, he’s fine,” Mother scoffed. She stepped over Varian’s motionless body, lifting her skirts to avoid the blood, before stooping over to snatch the key off the floor. “Head wounds always look _so_ much worse than they are, you know,” she said absently, setting the key down on the table. “All that _bleeding.”_

Rapunzel thrashed against her chains, metal biting into her skin hard enough to bruise, hard enough to bleed. Her free hand stretched out to Varian but it was still out of reach, bare feet digging against the stone floor desperately.

“M- Mother,” she gasped, “Mother _please,_ I n- need to heal him, Mother-”

“Why?” Mother asked coldly. “So he can try his little magic act again? I don’t think so.” She glared down at Varian. “Besides, his brain could stand to undergo a bit of damage, don’t you think? Take him down a notch or two?”

 _“No!”_ Rapunzel’s voice was a breathless scream, shallow and hysterical and completely unrecognizable in her own ears as hot tears streamed down her face and blurred her vision. “No, no, Mother please! Please, Mother I need to heal him, _I need to,_ please-”

_**Smack.** _

Rapunzel’s head snapped to the side, the slap echoing through the room.

Mother drew back again, lowering her hand. “That’s _enough,_ Rapunzel,” she said coldly.

Rapunzel stared in stunned silence, a hand coming up absently to touch her stinging cheek. It took a second to register what’d happened, and she sank to the floor, the chain coiling beside her like a snake. Her breathing hitched, and she bit down on her lip to stifle it, her gaze returning to Varian.

He… was still breathing. Rapunzel could see that much, and clung to the thought. He was still alive, and she needed to be level-headed if they were going to get out of this.

“Now, that’s better.” Evidently satisfied, Mother moved away, crouching down by the hole in the wall. She fished out a pair of manacles from the pile of chains, glancing between them and Varian before nodding to herself. “There we go.”

Rapunzel’s eyes welled up with fresh tears. “Please,” she begged, _“please_ don’t do this.”

Mother’s expression hardened. “I’m not doing anything you didn’t make me do,” she snapped. She knelt beside Varian and pulled his hands behind his back, locking the manacles around his wrists. “It didn’t have to be this way. But no, you just _had_ to go see your precious lights, didn’t you?”

Rapunzel made a strangled noise of protest in her throat. “Y- you _kidnapped_ us-”

“We were a _family!”_ Mother rounded on her furiously, her eyes wide and enraged.

Terror seized Rapunzel by the heart, and she shrank back. “A- and we can still be one!” she said quickly, pleading. “Just let me heal him, Mother, please. I’m sorry, I won’t try to leave ever again, I promise, just let me heal him-”

 _“Quiet,”_ Mother hissed. She set the key to Varian’s cuffs down on the table with the other one, out of Rapunzel’s reach before pulling an unlit candle from one of the cupboards. “I have to make sure there aren’t any loose ends.”

Rapunzel swallowed. “Wh- what do you-”

The candle in Mother’s hand suddenly lit, all on its own. Rapunzel’s voice immediately died in her throat, her hair standing on end as she recognized the distinctive hum of magic in the air. Mother turned to her, the candlelight casting odd shadows across her features and making them harsh and unfamiliar.

There was a glow to Mother’s eyes, dangerous and unnatural.

“It’s time to check in on our dear friend, Flynn Rider.”

~*~

Varian could hear water.

It was a light trickling, like a creek, and he could hear it right by his ear. He could feel the water, too, as if he were lying in a puddle. Dropping onto his face, soaking into his clothes-

_Roaring water filled his ears and clouded his vision, his eyes burning, and he was entirely at the water’s mercy, panic gripping him like ice in his veins-_

Varian jolted upright, his eyes flying open as he cried out in alarm. It took him a second to recognize his surroundings. He was sitting on the tower floor, and the floor was covered in water. It was only a couple inches deep, but it wasn’t still. It was rippling, moving, a slow, steady wave travelling from wall to wall unprompted. It was also dripping from the ceiling, running down the walls in smooth sheets and raining onto his head from above.

He tilted his head upward, blinking against the gentle fall of water. The vaulted ceiling and rafters were shrouded in mist, and he couldn’t see where the rain was coming from. It simply was. That made sense, he supposed, as his heartrate climbed back down. Some things just were.

The tower was duller than he remembered it to be. Faded, peeling paint. Moss growing in between cracks in the stone. The air musty with the smell of damp wood. It was empty, just him. 

Varian rose to his feet, unsteady, his wet clothes feeling heavy but not cold. It was then he noticed he wasn’t wearing his gloves. He couldn’t remember if that was a good or a bad thing. At the moment, it didn’t matter. He needed to go.

He hurried to the window, his fingernails digging into the soft, wet wooden shutters. He threw them open, expecting to see the sky. And he did, but that was all he saw.

There was nothing beyond the window, just an endless, expansive void of pale blue. He was just floating, drifting, no direction, no meaning.

There was no world beyond the tower. 

Why would there be?

Varian slammed the window shut, the sound echoing above the rush of running water. He stumbled backwards, his breath coming in short bursts, water splashing around his feet. There was no way out.

_“Rapunzel!”_

He screamed, and the voice didn’t sound like his own. It echoed strangely in his head, sending a cold spike of fear right into his chest. He turned and fled, away from the window and up the stairs, splashing through the stream that was cascading down them like a waterfall.

Varian pushed through the curtain to Rapunzel’s room.

There was a bird nestled on Rapunzel’s bed. Small, off-white, with a short, delicate beak and dark eyes. A dove. It seemed entirely unbothered by his presence, by the water leaking through the room, and simply turned its head to look at him.

There was a bright spot of red on the dove’s white chest- a fresh bloodstain. It was a peculiar shape; a perfectly round circle in the middle, with several wavy blades curling out from it, like the petals of a flower. Varian might’ve seen it somewhere before, but he couldn’t remember where.

_‘There you are.’_

A voice spoke in Varian’s mind. Soft, comforting, distantly familiar. The dove’s beak didn’t move, but he immediately knew the voice belonged to it.

Varian crouched next to the bed. He reached a hand out, stopping just before the touching the bloodspot. “What happened?”

Trilling, the dove tucked its head beneath a wing. _‘I wasn’t strong enough to protect you. I’m sorry.’_

Varian blinked. “From what?”

Rather than answer, the dove turned its head sharply, in that jerking way birds did, to look at the doorway. _‘We should go.’_

“Where?”

_‘Downstairs. There’s a hidden staircase that leads to a way out.’_

Sudden tears pricked at Varian’s eyes, and he pulled away. “How can I trust you?”

The dove regarded him, its dark eyes sorrowful. _‘What other choice do you have?’_

Varian didn’t have an answer. After all, he never did. He wiped at his eyes, nodding. Gently, he scooped up the dove, the feathers soft and warm against his bare hands as he cradled it. The dove fit perfectly in his cupped hands, but he got the strangest sense he wasn’t supposed to be doing this. Something to do with his gloves…

The dove cooed softly as he carried it downstairs, ruffling its feathers at the raindrops landing across its back. The trapdoor leading down to his room was already open. Careful not to jostle the dove too much, Varian ducked to avoid the low ceiling as he climbed down the stairs.

His room was in a similar state to the upstairs level. The water on the floor was deeper here, about calf level. His bookshelf, filled with rotted books, rusted machines, cracked equipment. The paint on the walls was smearing, bleeding, the mural of the sky all blurred together into meaningless color.

The thing that stuck out the most was a hole in the floor. One of the cobblestones had been pried away and cast to the side, revealing the entrance to a dark staircase. He couldn’t see beyond the entrance, however, because the hidden stairwell was flooded with water.

Varian hesitated, staring down at the hole.

The dove clicked its beak together. _‘At the bottom of the staircase is a door that leads to the way out.’_

Varian swallowed. “But I’d have to swim.”

The dove hopped out of his hands onto his arm, climbing up to his shoulder to perch there. Its small talons pinched slightly through his shirt. _‘I’m afraid so, yes.’_

“No.” Varian took half a step back, shaking his head. “I can’t. I don’t know how.”

 _‘That’s alright. You can learn.’_ The dove gently picked at a lock of his hair, his special blue streak he loved so much. _‘You don’t need to have all the answers right now.’_

“I do if my life depends on it.” Varian glanced back at the stairs leading out of his room, the open trapdoor. “You should go. You can fly out the window.”

 _‘I can’t.’_ The dove stretched out a wing, revealing a row of jagged cuts in its plumage. _'My wings are clipped, you see.'_

Varian stared at the wing. “Who did this to you?”

Slowly, the dove tilted its head, gaze sweeping over the wing in a way that was entirely unbirdlike. _‘I’m not quite sure. It’s been like this as long as I can remember.’_

Varian nodded. Some things just were. “I can’t leave you here.”

 _‘You must.’_ The dove snapped its wing back in, close to its body. There was a steely glint to its eyes. _‘Before it comes.’_

There was a low rumble in the distance, the walls tremoring slightly.

Varian’s heart jolted. “What is it? I can help you-”

 _‘You’re not ready.’_ The dove cocked its head to the side. _‘Then again, neither am I.’_

“But I-”

A thundering screech drowned out all other sound. The walls and floor started to shake, churning the water into a bubbling froth. Dust rained down from the ceiling, and chunks of stone started to fall, splashing loudly into the water below as something clawed away at it from above.

The ceiling tore away all at once, sudden light flooding the room as it was opened up to the endless void outside. Squinting against the harsh light, Varian found he didn’t even have the voice to scream.

It was a raven, larger than a horse, larger than a carriage. Its feathers were inky black, a darkness so absolute it was like all light ceased to exist in the space it occupied. It had a long, sharp beak like a dagger, and eyes that shone a vibrant blue-silver. Beating powerful wings, the raven let out a terrible, piercing shriek- raw and vicious and almost desperate.

Suddenly, the little dove on Varian’s shoulder was gone. In the sky was another large bird, same white plumage, same delicate beak, same bloodstained feathers, all the same- except for its eyes, which glowed a brilliant gold.

The two birds flew at each other, and the water gathering around Varian turned to blood. Thick, warm, a nauseating copper tang that steeped into his skin and filled him from the inside out.

The floor dropped out from under him, and before Varian could blink, he sank into the ocean of blood.

The last thing he saw was the clash of talons and feathers.

~*~

Gothel set the last candle in its place, the flame gently wavering.

It’d been years since she last performed this ritual. She hadn’t had the need for it, as of late, but the motions hadn’t left her. She slipped into an almost trance-like state as she set everything up; the shrine, the candles, the offering, all while murmuring the ancient blessings and feeling the magic in the room stir like wind rustling dead leaves.

The sensation was similar to flexing a muscle after a period of disuse. Gothel inhaled deeply, lifting her chin as her arms came up by her sides, palms turned to the ceiling in a position that was almost instinctual.

“Spirits,” she breathed, “knowers of all mysteries and questions yet unanswered, I open myself to your essence, that I may see the divine in nature.”

It would’ve been ideal for her to sleep, now; her strongest visions came to her in dreams. But since she knew exactly what she was looking for this time, it was manageable to do awake. She didn’t want to leave these two unsupervised, after all.

Rapunzel was watching her, huddled silent against the stair banister. She hadn’t had another outburst since the first, hadn’t made any attempt to get free, but the look in her eyes was shadowed, calculating, and Gothel didn’t trust it.

Varian had roused only slightly, letting out a soft groan and shifting against his binds. He might be conscious, might not, but he was incapacitated at the moment and that was enough. But she knew not to press her luck by leaving him alone, not after he’d proven himself capable of turning against her.

Gothel closed her eyes, reaching out with her mind.

Hooves thudding against the ground. Wind whipping his face. Snatches of green flashing before his eyes as the trees around him blurred together. The smell of sweat and horsehair and a sharp twinge of fear, of breathless panic, _they’re in trouble, I have to hurry-_

Gothel opened her eyes. All the candles extinguished at once, the images and sensations fading from her mind. Her lip curled, dissatisfied.

So the criminal had escaped, slipping free before the noose could tighten around him, and he was coming. A proverbial knight in shining armor, astride a white stallion, coming to steal her flower away. There was still some time before he reached the tower; Gothel had prepared enough to leave at a moment’s notice and she knew they could be gone by the time he got there.

But it was messy. He could very well track them down from the tower, him and that oddly intelligent beast of his. And at the moment, she had the upper hand; there was no guarantee she’d have it later. Better to take care of it now, instead of giving it the chance to become a problem.

Gothel sighed. “Mmm, seems we’re going to have company, dear,” she said mildly, starting to pack everything away.

Rapunzel eyed her warily, scared but trying to hide it. “How did you…?”

Gothel tutted, giving her a condescending smile. “There’s a lot you don’t know about me, darling. How do you think I found you two in the first place, hm?” Her expression sobered. “When the sundrop first fell from the heavens, I sensed it. By my own skills I was able to find it, and for some time, I alone knew its location. But then that cursed king sought it out, to save his poor wife, to save _you._ And so, the sundrop changed forms. After that, it was easy. Really, you’d think a castle would have better security.”

Gothel remembered that night vividly; the cool, summer air and the light of the full moon. Using the cover of shadows and whisking herself up onto the balcony, the balcony they surely thought was too high for anyone to climb- and they were right, truly, because Gothel _hadn’t_ climbed and she wasn’t just _anyone._ Finding the doors unlocked, discovering the baby, vanishing as quickly as she’d come.

But perhaps the thing Gothel remembered most was meeting the king’s gaze for that brief, single moment. Seeing the confusion and alarm right as it turned to realization, horror, _dread._ And yet, regardless, feeling absolutely no regret or guilt as she whisked away into the night. He knew the risks of taking the flower, but he’d done it anyways. Fate simply wasn’t in his favor.

Rapunzel’s eyes were wide, that vibrant green still just as naïve as the baby Gothel had lifted from the cradle.

“When I sensed the moondrop resurface,” Gothel continued, “I knew I had to act fast. My vision gave me a location, nothing else. Imagine my surprise when instead of the flower, I found a little baby boy.” Her gaze swept critically over Varian, barely conscious in a pool of his own blood. “Getting him was harder, believe it or not. Right from the start, he was always more difficult than you.”

Rapunzel’s face was pale, the redness of her cheek a stark contrast. “I… I don’t understand,” she whispered, “why did you-”

“Oh, but that’s alright, dear,” Gothel cooed, “I don’t need you to understand.” She gave a smile that was almost comforting. “I just need your hair.”

Rapunzel shrank back as Gothel approached, her grin sharpening.

“Now, let’s get ready for your friend to arrive, shall we?”

~*~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: So as it turns out, we’ve only got two chapters left until the end of the movie! :0 Wow, it sure snuck up on me. I wanted to let you guys know I’ll probably be taking a hiatus after the movie ends so I can work out a more solid game plan for the series, so look out for that!
> 
> So, if it wasn’t clear enough in this chapter, and prior ones, I totally headcanon Gothel as a witch. But not a powerful one; she needs the aid of preparation and rituals in order to pull off more intense magic, like seeing visions. But she can manipulate small flames, teleport short distances, and sense magic on her own.
> 
> Also, in this fic the castle escape scene happened just as it did in the movie, so I really didn’t find it necessary to repeat for you guys. Hope you don’t mind! If you enjoyed this chapter, please leave a comment, and I’ll see you next time! - Aqua
> 
> P.S. I've received some more lovely art, courtesy of cxffeeadd1ct:  
> http://aquaquadrant.tumblr.com/post/176717708159/cxffeeadd1ct-kinda-a-scene-redraw-from-a-fanfic


	29. shatterpoint, part III - birdsong

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Title: _shatterpoint, part III - birdsong_  
>  Rating: T  
> Warnings: violence, blood, injury, death  
> Summary: This is how dreams die; a risk, a promise, and a song.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Hi readers! Wow, you guys have been so incredible with your feedback, I really appreciate it and will respond ASAP! So, first off, yes, this is a day late. Couple reasons for that. 1) school’s back which means I have less free time, and that wouldn’t have been an issue if not for 2) this chapter in particular was really fighting me. I wanted to change it enough to make it interesting for you guys, but there were some things from the movie that just HAD to stay the same. And the small changes I made had like, butterfly effects, and I had to come up with a bunch of solutions and… it was just rough. And 3) this chapter is just around 6000 words. So hopefully the extra day was worth it!
> 
> And fun thing, **this is actually kind of the finale of Part Two?** The next chapter is still with the movie, but I consider it almost an epilogue to Part Two. I hope you enjoy! - Aqua

__

_shatterpoint, part III - birdsong_

~*~

Rapunzel gave her chains an experimental tug, cold metal biting into her skin.

There was no budging, no weakness in the chain for her to exploit. She’d fought her best, but Mother had easily overpowered her and wrought a pain of shackles around her wrists, binding her hands behind her back. Rapunzel had earned another bruise for her efforts, after Mother’s elbow caught her in the jaw, but she’d had to _try,_ at least. She couldn’t sit idly by when Varian needed her.

Though Varian hadn’t moved from his spot on the floor, he’d regained _some_ epitome of consciousness- Rapunzel could tell because he was in pain, and she could tell he was in pain because he was crying, letting out soft whimpers as tears dripped down his face and mixed with the streaks of blood, his eyelids twitching and fluttering like he was trapped in a nightmare he desperately wanted to wake up from.

It tore Rapunzel’s heart in two. She almost wished he’d fall asleep again, deep enough to be out of reach from the agony, but then she’d have no way of knowing he was still okay. She wanted to call out to him, reassure him, even provide the slightest bit of comfort- but Mother had tied a gag around her mouth.

Rapunzel’s glaze flickered to Mother, who was… not so much pacing around the room, but _prowling._ Restless with anticipation, but not anxiety. Purposeful in her strides- calm, collected, eyes flashing, and Rapunzel hated it.

She’d never hated Mother more than in this moment. How _dare_ she? How dare she claim to care, claim that she _ever_ cared, and leave Varian bleeding on the floor?

It must’ve showed through her gaze, because Mother caught her eye and sighed.

“Oh, don’t give me that look, Rapunzel,” she drawled.

Mother approached, and Rapunzel forced herself not to shy away, her muscles tense and her back straight.

Mother crouched down beside her, tutting. “Honestly, dear, do you really think things would be any different out there?” she asked, raising her eyebrows. “Do you think you ever could’ve lived a normal life, with the powers you have? No, you’re lucky you had it so good for so long. Because, these?” She grabbed Rapunzel’s chain and shook it. “That’s the very _least_ of what you’d be dealing with out there, _trust me.”_

Rapunzel wanted to scream. She was tired of Mother’s lies, tired of being treated like a naïve child who couldn’t decide things for herself. Because she’d _seen_ the world, found so much more than she ever could have imagined beyond the tower walls, and Mother was _wrong._

Were there people out there who would’ve done the exact same thing as Mother, or worse? Without a doubt. But everything Rapunzel had seen encouraged the idea that for every cruel, selfish person in the world, there were dozens more who were good and kind and that made it all worth it. That was what made life worth living- really _living,_ not what they’d been doing all these years in the tower.

And most of all, Rapunzel wanted to tell Mother that even if she was right, even if things were awful out there, it couldn’t be any worse than the way she’d treated them, treated _Varian._ Because while others reveled in their wickedness, Mother still held up the false image of love, and that was unforgivable.

But Rapunzel could only stare back, eyes burning.

Mother held her gaze for a moment before her expression softened. “Oh, my precious girl…” she murmured sadly, reaching a hand up to stroke Rapunzel’s hair. “We could’ve avoided all this if only you’d just… let things be. What a shame.”

Rapunzel wanted to pull away, but there was nowhere to go. She wanted to fight- but how could she? There was no way she’d get the drop on Mother, no way she’d win if she tried to fight as she was. Since her handcuffs were separate from the chain tethering her to the banister, she knew she’d be able to slip through her arms, get her hands back in front of her so at least she’d have more mobility; but not with Mother watching her.

She needed a distraction-

“Rapunzel!”

The cry came from outside the tower. Rapunzel immediately recognized the voice as Eugene.

 _Eugene._ He was okay, he’d escaped, and he’d come for her, for _them._ Her surprise and relief and exhilaration only lasted a second, though.

Mother glanced over at the window, and Rapunzel took her chance.

She smacked her forehead against Mother’s temple, a solid crack ringing out through the tower. Mother reeled back with a cry of pain, and Rapunzel moved- slipping her cuffed hands down her back and under her legs so they were in front of her once again. Mother had only just recovered when Rapunzel tackled her, the gag around her mouth falling loose.

Rapunzel had no plan, no strategy, driven only by a single goal; stop Mother.

And the fight was on.

~*~

Flynn clung tighter to Max’s mane as the horse vaulted over a fallen tree.

“Come on, Max,” he encouraged, his breathing shallow in his ears. “Come on, _come on.”_

Ears pinned flat against his skull and sides heaving, Max was in a full-out gallop, and had been since their mad escape from the castle. It’d all happened fast- one second, Flynn was being escorted to his doom, the next, the halls were flooded with thugs from the Snuggly Duckling, who managed to get Flynn out and onto Max. And from there, it’d been nonstop- over the wall, through the city, across the bridge, and into the forest.

Max had very clearly left all the pursuing guards in the dust, but the prospect of them catching up wasn’t what had Flynn so panicked. It was what he’d learned from the Stabbingtons, who’d appeared conspicuously in one of the dungeon cells. The whole thing had been orchestrated by some shadowy puppet master, this infamous _mother_ Flynn had heard so much of. And if she was capable of this, of stringing along two murderous outlaws, of ensnaring Flynn so thoroughly that only the unexpected dedication of a pub-full of criminals could get him out of it, then Flynn shuddered to think what she planned to do with Rapunzel and Varian.

Flynn should’ve seen the signs. He should’ve known better, trusted his instincts that something was wrong. And now, because he hadn’t, they were in trouble, he had to hurry-

 _“Come on!”_ Flynn was almost pleading now, as if Max could somehow go faster if only he asked enough times.

Max couldn’t spare a moment to acknowledge him, but Flynn liked to think the horse sped up a bit- even if it was just wishful thinking.

Flynn wasn’t sure which of them remembered the way more; whether Max was following Flynn’s directions, the slight shifting of his body position, or if Flynn happened to be recognizing where Max went. In either case, there was no hesitation between them, no confusion, no stopping until they pushed through a wall of ivy and ducked down a hidden tunnel that opened up into a secret valley.

The tower.

Flynn didn’t even wait for Max to completely stop before swinging off the horse’s back, running to the base of the tower. Craning his head up, he saw the window was closed and cupped his hands around his mouth.

“Rapunzel!” Flynn shouted. “Rapunzel, let down your hair!”

There was no response, no reaction from above. The tower balcony was still and quiet, washed in the gray light filtering through the cloudy sky.

“Rapunzel!"

Nothing. Alarm doubled the speed of Flynn’s heartbeat, and he instantly started to climb the tower, digging his fingers into worn stone.

He was only a couple feet up when Max neighed at him. Clinging to his perch, Flynn glanced over his shoulder at the horse. Max was standing expectantly at the base of the tower, looking urgent.

Flynn dropped heavily to the ground. “What is it?”

Max neighed again and trotted around the side of the tower, leaving Flynn to follow.

There was a doorway at the back of the tower; a crumbling arch of stone that almost looked like it’d been punched through the wall. Peering through the doorway, Flynn found a staircase winding up the side of the tower, spiraling into darkness. At a glance, Max might be able to fit up it, but at the end of it was a small opening in the ceiling, only big enough for a person.

Flynn looked back at Max. “Stay here, keep an eye out, okay?”

Max looked about as displeased as a horse was able, but gave a nod. If the guards happened to follow them this far, it’d be nice for Flynn to have a heads up.

Reassured that Max would have his back, Flynn didn’t waste another moment and ascended into the tower.

It was dark and cold, almost like an air vacuum inside the hollow base of stone. Flynn kept a hand along the wall as he went to steady himself, his footsteps echoing strangely in the space. As much as he wanted to hurry, he was also mindful of the fact that there was no railing, and a single step too far to the side would result in him plummeting to his doom. Not great for a rescue mission.

Finally, Flynn reached the top, faint light shining through the hole. He poked his head through it, glancing around before fully emerging.

Upon further inspection, the hole he’d come up through wasn’t an actual entrance. One of the cobblestones making up the floor of the room had been pushed away, haphazardly. If Flynn had to guess, this whole hidden doorway and staircase thing was a backup entrance, hardly used. Rapunzel and Varian certainly hadn’t seemed to know about it.

The room Flynn found himself in wasn’t actually the part of the tower he’d entered before. It was a bedroom, made of cold stone- Varian’s, Flynn realized, noting the bookshelf full of mechanical odds and ends and a work desk covered in alchemy equipment. The staircase continued up along one side of the room, leading to a trapdoor. Most eye-catching was the mural painted across the entire circumference of the room; a gorgeous rendition of the day and night skies.

Flynn didn’t allow himself to linger for long, though- right above him, where he assumed the main part of the tower was, he could hear noises, the sounds of a struggle.

Trouble. Danger. Rapunzel and Varian.

Flynn’s heart started racing, and he quickly glanced around for something he could use, settling on a sturdy looking tool resting on the workbench.

Tightening his grip on the tool, Flynn crept over to the staircase, his other hand cautiously reaching out to brush the trapdoor. Taking a single, steadying breath, he pushed the trapdoor open and sprang out, weapon at the ready.

The scene that greeted him was this;

Varian, lying on the floor in a puddle of blood, his hands chained behind his back and his eyes closed.

Rapunzel, chained to the stair banister, a bruise on her cheek and desperation in her eyes as she struggled with an unfamiliar woman.

The woman Rapunzel was struggling with, fierce and dark haired, her head snapping over to look at Flynn with strangely glowing eyes.

In the single moment it took Flynn to process everything, the woman vanished. Literally, disappeared in a flourish of her cloak, and suddenly Rapunzel was standing by herself, dazed and blinking.

Flynn moved to step forward, opened his mouth to speak, when there was a sudden rushing sound in his ears, all the hair on the back of his neck standing on end. The woman appeared beside him, and then there was impact- blinding, exploding pain in his side. A strangled gasp caught in his throat, and the woman stepped away, a bloody knife clenched in her hand.

Flynn crumbled, black spots dancing across his vision and Rapunzel’s scream echoing in his ears.

~*~

_“Eugene!”_

For the second time that day, Rapunzel’s heart stopped beating.

Eugene sank to the floor, his features contorted in pain as he clutched his side, and Rapunzel saw red on his hands. She threw herself against her chains, the skin around her wrists already raw and bleeding. She hardly even noticed, her gaze locked on the bleeding wound in Eugene’s side. She’d seen where Mother had stabbed and instantly knew it was fatal, a deep sense of dread her in gut.

“No!” she screamed. “Eugene!”

Mother stepped away, the bloody knife flashing in her hand. “Now look what you’ve done, Rapunzel,” she sniffed disdainfully, glaring down at Eugene. “What a mess…”

“Please, don’t do this,” Rapunzel begged. “Mother, please-”

“Don’t worry, dear,” Mother hummed, as if Rapunzel hadn’t spoken. “Our secret will die with him. And we’ll be going where no one will ever find us again.”

Panic seized Rapunzel. She had to do something, she had to get to Eugene somehow, heal him before it was too late-

Mother reached for Rapunzel’s chain, and Rapunzel smacked her hand away. _“No.”_

Mother stared at her, disbelieving. “Rapunzel, are you _really_ going to fight me on this?” she asked incredulously.

“Yes.” Rapunzel lifted her chin slightly, glaring defiantly. Resistance was etched into every part of her body, the clenching of her fists, the set of her jaw, and Mother knew it. “For every minute of the rest of my life, I will _fight._ I will never stop trying to get away from you.” Her expression softened. “But, if you let me save him, I will go with you.”

“No…” Eugene cried out weakly from his spot on the floor. “No, Rapunzel…”

Rapunzel tore her gaze away from him, staring at Mother evenly. “I’ll never run, I’ll never try to escape. Just let me heal him, and we’ll be a family together. Forever, just like you want. Everything will be the way it was. I _promise,”_ she stressed. “Just like you want. Just let me heal him.”

Mother tilted her head thoughtfully. “Mmm, you should know, dear,” she mused, “that making promises to witches can be a tricky business.” There was that dangerous glint to her eyes again. “Don’t say things you don’t mean.”

Rapunzel’s stomach flipped at that, but she forced herself to take a deep breath. “I mean it. Except…” She glanced over at Varian. “Varian… you don’t need him, Mother, you have me. Please, just let him go.”

Mother held up a finger. “Ah, ah, ah, Varian’s not a part of this little deal.” Her eyes narrowed. “He stays with us.”

Rapunzel’s heart sank. “Fine,” she said quietly. “If you let me heal Eugene, I promise I will never try to escape.” Of course, that didn’t mean she couldn’t help Varian escape later on.

That seemed to satisfy Mother. “Fine. Deal.” She snatched the key off the table and approached Rapunzel, a malicious smirk pulling at her lips. “Make it quick, hm?”

Rapunzel nodded and held out her hands.

~*~

There was something cold around Flynn’s wrist.

“In case you get any ideas about following us,” someone hissed, jerking his arm before dropping it. Flynn winced, pain ripping through him, the clinking of metal registering in his mind a second after he realized it was a shackle, chaining him to one of the beams supporting the tower’s ceiling.

Footsteps went away, and footsteps came back. Flynn blinked as Rapunzel appeared in his vision. There was light around her, a fuzzy ring of white. Made her eyes glow even brighter, shining like stars-

“Eugene!” Rapunzel sounded scared, Flynn’s heart aching for it. “Oh, I’m so sorry, everything is gonna be okay-” She tried to put a lock of her hair against Flynn’s wound.

Wound, warm blood on his skin, blinding pain- a knife, he’d been stabbed- and she was trying to heal him. Hair, healing, keeping a promise- she always kept her promises. Going away forever.

“No, Rapunzel,” Flynn protested, his heart quickening.

“I promise you, you have to trust me-”

“No-”

“Come on, just breathe.” Rapunzel was pleading with him, and it hurt Flynn to know that she was hurting, almost enough to make him want to give in.

Almost. Flynn grabbed her hand, clumsy and panicked. “I can’t let you do this,” he insisted, curling his hand around her wrist, feeling her pulse.

Rapunzel gave him a sad smile. “But I can’t let you die,” she whispered.

Flynn creased his brows together, pain a hazy cloud on his mind, his heartbeat thundering in his ears. “Why… why is she doing this?” he asked. Why chain Rapunzel up, why hurt Varian so badly, why try to kill Flynn? What could be important enough to do that? Wasn’t she supposed to be their _mother?_

Rapunzel’s voice went lower, low enough that Flynn had to strain to hear it. “My hair. She needs it to stay young.”

Hair, magic, life- evil woman staying alive, hurting, trapping, stealing away, trying to kill- to take- needed the hair, hair keeping life, keeping hurting, trapping-

Flynn’s hand found a shard of glass on the floor beside him, edges jagged and sharp. Broken mirror laying nearby, shiny reflective pieces. His fist closed instinctively around it, biting into his skin-

“Hey.” Rapunzel was soft. Her voice, her eyes, her skin. “It’s gonna be alright.” She took a deep breath, closing her eyes, opening her mouth to sing. To keep her promise, to give her life away.

“Rapunzel…” Flynn reached up to touch Rapunzel’s face. “Wait…”

Rapunzel paused, and Flynn moved without thinking, shearing the glass through her hair. It cut in one fell swoop, billowing to the ground.

The glass shard clattered to the ground with it.

~*~

There was a rush of wind in Rapunzel’s ears, a sudden and significant lightness to her head.

A heartbeat later, the sound of cutting reached her ears, and she gasped. A hand flew up to her hair, _her hair-_ it ended above her shoulders, above her jaw, Eugene had _cut it,_ a broken shard from the mirror clenched in his fist.

“Eugene?” Rapunzel breathed, eyes wide, realization hitting her like a mallet. Her hair lay in thick ropes on the floor, steadily turning brown like a rot, like a stream of color, twisting and devouring and running right up to-

_“No!”_

Mother.

Her eyes were wide with terror, the widest Rapunzel had ever seen, skin pale as snow. Frantically, she snatched up bundles of Rapunzel’s shorn hair and held it close, as if she could somehow stop it, could somehow trap the magic inside the hair and keep it there forever.

All at once, her skin began to wrinkle and shrivel, shrinking tight against pulsing veins and thinning to show the color. Gray streaked wildly through her hair, like the haphazard strokes of a careless artist’s paintbrush, before it started to wilt and crumble. Mother fell to her knees by the shattered mirror, taking in her distorted reflection, and screamed.

Mother was screaming and Rapunzel was frozen. She could only watch, struck motionless with shock and horror as all coherent thought was abruptly cut off.

“What have you done? _What have you done?”_

Shrieking, Mother pulled the hood of her cloak around her face, staggering away from the mirror. There was nowhere to go, no escape from the agony that wrought her body, and she seemed to be withering before Rapunzel’s very eyes, an exact echo of before but this time there was no stopping it, her feet taking her closer and closer to where Varian laid in the pool of blood.

Rapunzel didn’t have the voice to call out, didn’t know what she’d say if she did.

Mother slipped in the bloodstain on the floor.

All that landed was an empty cloak and a puff of dust.

Rapunzel stared, uncomprehending, her breathing stealing from her lungs. The sight was so impossible she was at once certain it had to be a trick, some illusion of Mother’s using the hidden abilities she’d possessed all these years except-

Except that dust on the floor. Somehow, Rapunzel just _knew._

It was so sickening, so awful that she wanted to scream. But there was a pained groan behind her, and Rapunzel forced herself to turn away, to push all of that down because she had a much more urgent situation to deal with.

“No, no, no, no, no, _Eugene!”_

The severity of the situation was dawning on her- _she didn’t have her hair._

Rapunzel grabbed Eugene’s face, noting the paleness, the hazy cloud to his eyes. “Look at me,” she said urgently, “look at me, I’m right here. Don’t go, Eugene, stay with me-” She grabbed one of Eugene’s hands, warm and strong, and pressed it to her shortened hair, tripping over lyrics as she tried to heal, tears flooding her vision. “Flower, gleam and glow, let your p- power shine, make the clock reverse, bring back what once was mine-”

“Rapunzel.”

Rapunzel’s breathing hitched. Eugene’s voice was faint, so incredibly faint but the weight of it settled over her like her heart had turned to stone. “What?”

Eugene looked up at her through half-lidded eyes, almost burning with the intensity of the love in his gaze. He reached a hand up, cradling the back of her head the way he did on the boat, his unspoken question- except this time, it seemed he already knew the answer.

“You were my new dream,” he breathed.

Rapunzel covered her hand with his, smiling through her tears. “And you were mine.”

Eugene’s lips pulled up in a smile before his eyes drifted shut, his face falling slack. He went still, his hand limp in her own.

He was gone.

Rapunzel tightened her hand around his, as if she could will him back to life, a gaping hole tearing itself open inside her. She cradled his head with her other hand, curling in on herself, pressing her forehead to his and feeling his still-warm skin. She inhaled, the breath coming out as a song.

_“… heal what has been hurt,_  
_change the fate’s design,  
_ _save what has been lost,  
_ _bring back what once was mine…"_

Rapunzel squeezed her eyes shut, tears streaking down her cheeks.

“… what once was mine,” she whispered.

Slowly, Rapunzel set his hand back down, gritting her teeth against a fresh sob. It felt like a knife had been plunged into her heart. Eugene… she’d failed him, she’d gotten him killed, it wasn’t fair- _no, don’t think about it._ There was nothing she could do. She… she had to worry about Varian, now. He needed her. She turned away, moving to stand, when a flash of golden light caught at the edges of her vision.

Rapunzel froze, glancing back at Eugene. Her eyes widened. Tendrils of soft, golden light curled out from Eugene, like a flower slowly unfurling from a spot on his cheek- from a teardrop.

She could feel it, the hum of energy around the light as familiar as her own voice. The magic. Holding her breath, Rapunzel leaned in, scanning Eugene’s face intently as the light faded from the air. Was she imagining it, or had the color suddenly returned to his face?

“Eugene…?” she ventured, her heart in her throat.

Eugene’s eyes fluttered open. “… Rapunzel?” he whispered.

_“Eugene.”_

Rapunzel threw herself into his arms, feeling them come to wrap around her, then tighten, his embrace warm and right and perfect. She pulled away, taking in his expression for only a moment before she kissed him, desperate, as if she’d never get another chance. He was alive, he was _alive,_ she hadn’t lost him. Her heart felt like it might just up and fly away, her mind spinning dizzy with relief.

She’d only just gotten used to the feeling of his lips against hers when she pulled away, wiping at her face. Eugene’s gaze was only confused for a second before his eyes widened, and then his jaw tightened.

Everything wasn’t okay yet.

Rapunzel stood to walk over to Varian, and almost immediately toppled over, Eugene catching her in his arms. With her hair gone, the change in weight was disorienting, sending her off-balance and lurching, and Eugene made a sympathetic noise.

“Easy, Blondie,” he murmured, helping her over to Varian, the chain around his wrist dragging on the floor behind them.

Rapunzel slid back down to the floor with a shaky breath, her throat closing up.

It wasn’t hard to cry, tears immediately welling up in her eyes as she took in the damage, Varian’s pale, bloody face twisted in pain, the thin line of red across the front of his throat. It was harder to sing, her voice choked as she struggled to form the words. Watching her tears fall onto Varian’s bloodstained skin as the last verse of the song was done.

And nothing happening.

After a few moments of nothing, Rapunzel’s breathing stuttered to a stop. “It’s… n- not working,” she whispered, the blood draining from her face. “Eugene, I- I don’t understand, why… why isn’t it _working?”_

Eugene’s face became shadowed with fear and guilt as he realized what Rapunzel had; he’d cut her hair, and now she couldn’t heal Varian. “Rapunzel, I’m-”

 _“No.”_ Rapunzel’s heart jolted, her mind racing in frantic circles. If she didn’t have her hair and her tears weren’t working like they had for Eugene then she had no way to heal Varian. “No, this isn’t h- how it’s supposed to be, I’m supposed to take care of him, I- I promised I always would-”

 _“Rapunzel.”_ Eugene put his hands on her shoulders, almost pleading. “Rapunzel, breathe. We’ll figure it out, okay?”

Rapunzel held Eugene’s gaze, clinging to the reassurance she found there. She didn’t have to do this alone. “O- okay.” She managed a nod. “Okay, so… w- what do we do?”

“We’ve gotta keep him still,” Eugene continued, his voice meant to be calm and soothing and comforting but falling just shy of it. “And find something to stop the bleeding with, yeah? Do you have a- a blanket or something we can use for bandages? Like maybe-”

_Wait._

“- would work?”

Eugene’s voice seemed far away as Rapunzel stared down at Varian. “Yes,” she replied absently. “Um, in my… in my room…”

“Rapunzel?”

_Let him try._

“Sorry, I…” Rapunzel blinked, shaking her head. “I’m just…”

Something was pulling at her, a sudden chill running through her veins. It was as if a cold front had blown in through the open window, seeping right into her very core. A nagging feeling like she was forgetting something, a word on the tip of her tongue, a song stuck in her head-

A song. Rapunzel’s eyes widened.

“Eugene, there’s… there’s some plants out on the balcony,” she murmured, her heart starting to race. “Can… you grab one and bring it in here? Any one of them.”

Eugene frowned. “Rapunzel, I don’t-”

“Please, Eugene,” Rapunzel said urgently, “I think I know how to help him.”

Eugene didn’t question that. “Alright.” He got to his feet and disappeared through the window, carefully stepping around the cloak on the floor, the spot where Mother- _no, don’t think about it, not now._

Rapunzel looked away sharply, returning her gaze to Varian. His features were still twisted in pain, the sudden paleness of his skin contrasting starkly with the bright red of blood. Swallowing, she reached out and brushed her hand over his forehead, hoping to bring even just a little comfort.

“Please,” she breathed to herself, _“please_ let this work.”

Eugene returned after a moment, one of the potted plants in his hands. He set it down beside Rapunzel, giving her a searching look.

“What’s the plan, blondie?” he asked softly.

Rapunzel hesitated. One of Varian’s hands was still missing its glove, from when he’d almost- when he’d tried to- _no, don’t think about it._ She _couldn’t_ think about that now. Biting her lip, she took Varian’s hand and brought it over to the plant, setting it just so that his skin was touching the stem.

Pulling her hands away, Rapunzel took a deep breath and started to sing.

_“Flower, burn and shine…”_

Varian’s hair started to glow, a vibrant blue white rippling through the black.

_“Make your power mine… lose the saved once more, let age and pain combine…”_

Eugene had gone still and silent beside her, as if made of stone. Rapunzel continued to sing, her eyes starting to water from the brightness of Varian’s hair, her skin crawling from the sense of magic in the air.

_“Hurt was has been healed, fates retake what’s thine…”_

Varian’s breath caught in his sleep, his eyes squeezing shut tightly. The plant began to wilt, its vibrant green fading to brown as its leaves started to curl.

_“Lose the saved once more. Let age and pain combine…”_

The song felt odd in Rapunzel’s mouth, so similar to her own but distorted, a dark imitation like a shadow. And it was strange, _so strange,_ for it to not be her this time, to hear Varian’s song all on its own, no glowing golden hair. To see it and not feel it. A part of her wondered if that was what it felt like for Varian, to watch her use her powers almost every day, that sense of déjà vu.

_“… and pain combine.”_

Rapunzel finished the song. The plant was dead, a dry, shriveled husk, and Varian’s eyes were still shut. Except… he didn’t look in pain anymore.

Carefully, hesitantly, Rapunzel reached out to brush aside his hair from where she knew the head wound to be. The area was wet with blood, his hair matted and sticky, but she found no broken skin. No active bleeding. It was healed; even the little cut on the front of his throat, from Mother’s knife, had closed up- though it left a thin white scar in its place.

Eugene’s eyes were wide. “… did you know he could heal himself that way?”

Rapunzel drew back again, letting Varian’s hair fall back in place. “I… I don’t know,” she whispered, “it was more like a… _feeling.”_

Eugene inhaled through his teeth. “Magical premonitions. Yep, okay, not surprised.” He studied Varian’s face, anxiety flashing in his eyes. “So, is he okay now…?”

“I don’t know,” Rapunzel murmured. She clutched Varian’s hand, holding her breath.

_Wake up, Varian._

~*~

Varian was floating.

Everything was red. Around him, in him, through him- thick and warm and rippling. It was everywhere he looked, and the surface was nowhere in sight. His breathing was shallow in his ears as he twisted, rolling weightless head over heels, searching, struggling, gasping for breath where there was only blood.

_‘Don’t be afraid.’_

The voice spoke from all around him, in him, through him. Varian tried to cry out but choked on it, a hole tearing itself open at his very core. It was hungry, howling, clawing for _something_ as red seemed to flow out of him, draining-

Wait, no, he needed that!

_‘Blood is energy is life. You can give it, or take it away.’_

How did it know that?

_‘You know it, too, you always have. Deep down.’_

Varian’s eyes burned. What did he have to do?

_‘Reach out and take it.’_

Varian stretched out a hand, cold and small and bare without his glove. Light- a scorching blue white all around him, in him, through him. It was like a shock of ice water to his veins, his muscles seizing as his back arched violently. It was hot and freezing and buzzing with electricity all at once, his bones humming with it, a song echoing in his ears-

_‘Wake up, little bird.’_

Varian woke up.

He bolted upright, a scream lodged in his throat- _Mother, knife, blood, pain, nothing, rain and birds and falling-_ and he struck out blindly, his heart racing frantically as panic overwhelmed him.

“Varian!”

A voice- _soft, comforting, and distantly familiar-_ Rapunzel. Rapunzel, scared and chained and pleading as cold metal pressed against his throat and- _please no, please, no, no, no-_

“Varian, calm down, it’s okay!” Rapunzel’s voice was close, reassuring. “It’s okay, I’m here.”

Gentle hands caught his wrists, holding him securely, and Varian stopped struggling, his chest heaving as he gasped for breath. “R- Rapunzel?” he stammered.

“Hey there,” Rapunzel soothed. “Take it easy, you’ve had a bad shock.”

The tension drained from Varian’s body. It took a second for his vision to come into focus- and when it did, it took him another second to realize what exactly he was seeing.

Rapunzel’s hair was brown. And short; choppy edges reaching just past her jawline. The sight was so unexpected and bizarre that Varian wondered if he was seeing clearly, blinking rapidly to try and correct it. Bruises dotted her skin, her cheek and her jaw, and there were tear stains down her face.

Varian’s heart stopped. _“Rapunzel,”_ he breathed. “What happened?”

“That’s a bit of a story, kid.”

Varian’s head snapped around to look at the unexpected voice- Eugene, crouched beside Rapunzel, a sad smile on his face, eyes shining with concern. _Eugene?_ What was Eugene doing there? _How_ was he there?

“Eugene? Wha- what happened?” Varian’s gaze landed on a bright red stain on Eugene’s shirt, and he was seized with horror. “What _happened?”_

Rapunzel glanced over at Eugene, her expression soft and weary and resigned. “Eugene saved us,” she said quietly. “But he got hurt. I healed him, and-”

“Oh!” Varian jolted, a hand flying up to the head. It came away sticky with still-warm blood, but there was no pain. “M- my head, it was- did you- did you heal it, too?” he asked, frowning at his bloodstained palm.

Rapunzel winced. “Not exactly. See, at that point, my hair was already-”

“Wait!” Varian cried suddenly. “What are we _doing?_ We- we have to go!” He tried to scramble to his feet, the floor slick with blood. “Quick, be- before Mother comes and-”

“Varian.” Rapunzel put a hand on his shoulder, holding him in place. “Mother’s not coming.”

Varian blinked. “What?”

Rapunzel took a shaky breath. “She’s gone, Varian.”

“… gone?”

Varian stared, uncomprehending. Slowly, he looked around the room, taking in the bloodstains on the floor, the lengths of shorn brow hair, the shattered pieces of mirror. As if Mother might be lurking somewhere in the shadows, ready to strike. But there was no sign of her.

It didn’t make sense. How could Mother be gone? Varian had just seen her- _angry and cold and the glint of a knife, fingers tighteneing in his hair-_ and she couldn’t just be gone, could she? Except… Rapunzel’s hair was gone. The hair Mother loved and fought so hard to keep and used almost every day to keep herself-

His gaze fell on a cloak, huddled on the floor. Mother’s cloak.

Oh.

_Oh._

Varian’s throat closed up, his heartrate quickening again. Mother, gone. Mother, no longer a threat, no longer able to hurt him- which was _good,_ right? Wasn’t it good? But it didn’t feel like it, it felt wrong, why didn’t it feel right? Why wasn’t he happy, shouldn’t he be happy, or at least _relieved?_ What was _wrong_ with him?

Mother was gone, how could she be gone, _no,_ he wanted- he needed- no, no, no, this was wrong, this couldn’t be happening. Mother’s hand brushing his cheek, her eyes soft and loving, _I love you, I love you, too-_

Varian’s breathing hitched, and Rapunzel pulled him into a hug.

Varian held on like his life depended on it, a strangled cry wrenching itself free from his throat. The rush of emotions was so disorienting it brought all coherent thought to a screeching halt. He didn’t know what to do, what to say, even what to _feel,_ and it seemed like Rapunzel didn’t, either.

So they clung to each other and cried.

~*~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: So, a couple things! It may seem like Varian’s injury was sort of put aside, but as said, it really wasn’t as bad as it appeared. It broke skin and gave him a concussion and bled a lot, but his skull didn’t crack at all, so he wasn’t in mortal danger. Eugene, however, was very much in mortal danger. So there’s that. Next; Rapunzel’s tears. The general consensus by everyone who worked on the movie is that the last drop of magic was in the tear that healed Eugene (at least, until the series rolls around and magic stuff happens again). So her tears couldn’t heal Varian- or anyone else, for that matter.
> 
> Varian’s powers only healed him because he was injured, and he can’t use them to heal anyone else. He didn’t know about this because he’s never used them while injured. Yes, Varian missed a lot while passed out. Rapunzel will be explaining it to him off screen, because I don’t need to recap it for you guys. And as for Gothel, the window was never opened so there was nowhere for her to fall out of.
> 
> Eugene was not thinking clearly when he cut Rapunzel’s hair. He wasn’t thinking about his own injury getting healed, or Varian’s. So it wasn’t really a deliberate choice, deciding to cut the hair even if it meant Varian couldn’t be healed. But he’ll definitely still feel guilty about it. A lot of things happened in a short span of time, and they don’t have time to process it all yet. I can assure you, everything will be touched on in the future (for example, Rapunzel didn’t simply forget that Varian tried to kill Gothel).
> 
> Wow, that was a lot of things. Anyways, as said before, this was sort of the finale to Part Two, and the next one will be the Part Two epilogue, after which I’ll be taking a hiatus in order to prepare for Part Three. I hope you enjoyed, please leave a comment if you did, and I’ll see you next time! - Aqua


	30. homecoming

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Title: _homecoming_  
>  Rating: G  
> Warnings: None  
> Summary: This is how a story begins; a reunion, an ending, and a secret.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Hi readers! Again, I apologize for the slight delay and thank you for your patience. I really can’t believe we’re here at the end of Act Two. I am so surprised and so proud of myself for sticking with a project of this magnitude, and I can say that you guys have made this an absolute delight. This wouldn’t have been possible without your incredible support!
> 
> I’d like to shout out my sister TheCrocodileWrites for being my soundboard and helping me work through so many of the technical details of this fic, and reassuring me when I was filled with doubt. And Izadreamer, for continually being an uplifting and encouraging presence in my life and motivating me to push myself harder than ever before.
> 
> And of course, to all of you who have left comments throughout this process! I never anticipated getting the response I’ve gotten and that’s made me so excited for what I have in store. I thank you from the bottom of my heart and hope you’ll bear with me through this hiatus, so I can come back with an Act Three that’s as amazing as the ones that came before.
> 
> Read on and enjoy, and I’ll see you next time! - Aqua

__

_homecoming_

~*~

Arianna’s finger brushed the page, stilling over a single word.

She’d read the same line over five times now without realizing it, without processing the shapes of the ink. Blinking, she paused, frowning down at the book. She’d been trying to get through it for a few days now, but it seemed it wasn’t meant to be.

She had a feeling it was something to do with her mind knowing she was just trying to keep busy. The more years that passed, the harder it was to distract herself. She had no idea why. Everything she’d heard and read seemed to suggest the pain would fade with time. 

No one ever said how _much_ time, though. Hadn’t it been enough?

Holding back a sigh, Arianna let her eyes drift off the page. Frederic was standing at the window, pensive, hands held primly behind his back. Brooding, she called it on her lighter days. On her worse days, she didn’t call it anything.

She could easily guess where his mind was at. Though another birthday had come and gone, all the lanterns drifting away into last night’s sky and out of view, she and Frederic would be feeling their effects for days to come.

Eighteen years. Arianna could cry.

There was no more fighting it; they’d missed their daughter’s childhood. Wherever she was, she was nearly a grown woman. Though eighteen was a far cry from Arianna’s own years, it was undoubtedly not a child and there was no getting that back.

Arianna’s throat closed up. Her fingers curled tightly around the book in her lap, and she opened her mouth to say something to Frederic- what, she didn’t know- when the door opened.

There was a royal courier in the doorway. He was breathless, like he’d run there, his eyes wide and earnest as he gave a single, slight nod.

There was a soft thud as the book slid to the ground. Arianna was already out the door before she heard it.

Her breath was shallow in her ears, her fingers curling in his skirts as she nearly ran through the castle, Frederic right beside her. Her heart was pounding, her mind spinning, and endless loop of _no, it couldn’t be, could it, what if it is, maybe, no-_

They stopped in front of the doors to the balcony. Arianna exchanged a look with Frederic, seeing all the fear and hope and disbelief she was feeling spelled out across his features, and together they pushed the doors open.

There was a girl standing on the balcony.

Midway between a teenager and a young woman, with tired green eyes lined with dark circles. Her hair was short, choppy brown strands brushing her jawline. There was blood staining her dress, red on purple, and a couple bruises peppering her face, dark blue like ink smudges on fair, freckled skin. The skin around her wrists was red and raw, and her feet were bare. She was weary and uncertain but there was a certain steel in the line of her jaw and she was _beautiful._

A couple people stood beside her- a young man with a distantly familiar face and a teenage boy with shaggy black hair. Arianna wasn’t looking at them, though. She had eyes only for the young woman, for the girl with the same face Arianna saw when she looked in the mirror but with an upturned nose and a splash of freckles.

 _‘Liliane,’_ she thought. _‘My baby Liliane has come home to me.’_

Arianna moved before she even realized it, reaching a hand out, stepping forward-

Liliane took a step back.

Arianna paused. She looked again, closer this time, and noticed that Liliane was holding the hand of the boy standing by her, holding so tight her knuckles were white. Noticed the wistful longing in her eyes, held at bay by some sort of wall.

Liliane took a shaky breath. “My name is Rapunzel,” she said. “This is my brother, Varian.”

Arianna stopped. Her heart gave a painful ache, _right,_ of course, Liliane wouldn’t have known the name they chose for her, no one did. She’d grown up under a different name for eighteen years now, it was all she’d known and all she would know.

Rapunzel. Arianna’s heart shifted to accommodate.

Now, the boy. The brother. Another thing Arianna hadn’t considered- that Liliane, that Rapunzel, would grow up among people, would form bonds with them, would consider them family. Of course.

She looked closer at the boy. Varian. Noticed the blood matted in his hair. The thin, white scar across the front of his neck. The thick, black gloves he wore. And most of all; he looked downright terrified. His pale face nearly sheet white, his free hand trembling at his side, his blue eyes wide and wary and painfully young.

Arianna’s expression softened. Whatever they’d been through, whatever harrowing circumstances had brought them before her, they’d been through it together- that much was clear.

Rapunzel licked her lips. “I… know you probably weren’t expecting me to not be alone,” she said hoarsely, and _oh,_ wasn’t it a _beautiful_ voice- “or- or expecting me at all, but- but before anything else happens I need to tell you that he is my brother and nothing is going to change that so if- so if you don’t want him too then I’m not going to stay-”

Arianna didn’t hesitate. She took them both by the arm and pulled them into a hug.

“Welcome home,” she whispered.

One pair of arms reacted faster than the other, Rapunzel’s breath catching as she hugged Arianna back. Varian had gone still in Arianna’s arms, and it wasn’t until Rapunzel moved that he responded, returning the embrace timidly at first, and then suddenly clinging to her fiercely, choking on a muffled cry.

Arianna breathed in, her chest so full she felt it might explode. Her eyes were stinging and she felt lightheaded and she could smell blood but none of that mattered. Frederic was there, his strong arms around them, and everything was perfect.

Arianna opened her eyes again, gaze drifting to the last person standing on the balcony. She recognized his face, now, though the nose wasn’t quite the same as his wanted posters.

Flynn Rider, the man who’d stolen the tiara. The man she’d cursed and hated and cried over, the man who’d been caught and escaped, and now had returned her daughter to her.

Arianna extended her hand towards him, a gentle smile on her face.

He returned it, amiable, and Arianna pulled him in, too.

He melded into the embrace like he’d been made for it, or it for him. Kings and queens and orphans and thieves all huddled on a stone balcony as one.

And now Arianna knew everything really _was_ perfect.

~*~

Rapunzel sat stiffly in her chair, fighting the urge to play with her hair.

She was sitting at a round table in a cozy sitting room. Varian sat at one side, Eugene at the other. And across from them; King Frederic and Queen Arianna of Corona.

Her parents.

It didn’t feel real. She’d had the entire journey here to reckon with it, to get used to the idea, but seeing them here, really _here…_ it was strange. It was so horribly strange and she desperately didn’t want it to be, wanted things to suddenly click and make sense and feel right, but they hadn’t yet. The two people sitting across from her might as well be strangers, for all she knew of them, and it ate her up inside knowing they’d missed her all these years while she hadn’t even considered them existing.

That was probably why she was finding it so hard to talk to them.

They’d wanted to talk, right away. Sent all the guards and servants away so it could be just them. Rapunzel didn’t know what they were hoping or expecting to happen. She’d never thought she’d have to introduce herself to her own parents.

“So,” Rapunzel started off eloquently. “Like I said before, my name is Rapunzel. I grew up in a tower in the forest, with my brother, Varian, and our mothe- a woman named Gothel.” She could feel her face heat up a bit at the slip, and she pressed on quickly. “She took us both when we were babies. Or, well, she took me when I was a baby, and four years later she showed up one night with Varian as a baby, obviously we weren’t babies at the same time…” She trailed off into nervous laughter. “So.”

Her parents gave her encouraging nods. They still had that look in their eyes as they watched her, that wonder and happiness, and it made her more nervous than it should have.

Rapunzel cleared her throat. “You’re probably wondering about my hair." She winced. “Well, you’re probably wondering about a lot of things, actually,” she mumbled. “Um, so I used to have blonde hair. Until several hours ago, actually. It was the first haircut I’d had my entire life. My hair was about… seventy feet long.”

They clearly hadn’t been expecting that. King Frederic seemed thoughtful as Queen Arianna studied Rapunzel’s hair, as if trying to imagine what it’d be like long and blonde.

Rapunzel bit her lip. “It used to have powers, too,” she said. “There was this song, and if you sang it, my hair would glow and it could heal sickness and injury, and restore youth. But once it was cut, it lost that power. That’s why I never cut my hair before, when I was a baby someone tried to cut a strand of it and-”

She broke off as a sudden thought occurred to her. It was Mother. She’d been the one to try and cut Rapunzel’s hair as a baby, and when that didn’t work, she must’ve-

“Rapunzel?” King Frederic sounded concerned.

Rapunzel flushed. “S- sorry, sorry,” she breathed, ducking her head. “But um, it’s- it’s gone now. I can’t heal anymore. That’s… why she took me in the first place. She’d have me sing the song every day to keep her young.” Her throat tightened. “She’s gone now.”

Queen Arianna knit her brows together, her expression softening. “I’m so sorry. You’ve been through so much…” She looked pained, truly feeling for all they’d suffered. “But the important thing is you’re here now.”

Rapunzel nodded slowly. “There’s… something else.” She glanced over at Varian, his pale face with eyes full of trust. “Varian was taken because he has powers, too.”

They’d talked about it long and hard on their way here. Weighing the pros and cons. What if Mother was right, and Varian’s powers scared people? What if they reacted badly? What if they tried to hurt him?

But they both agreed it was too big a secret to keep. For Varian to keep it from them, to be constantly living in fear of discovery, for them to start their relationship off with secrets, just held too much potential for disaster. It was better for them to be upfront about it, to be able to explain it on their terms without any misconceptions.

Besides, as Eugene had helpfully put in, them hiding it would just be suspicious. And at least this way, they could control it.

Her parents looked taken aback.

“What do you mean?” King Frederic asked, brows furrowing.

“It… might be better just to show you,” Rapunzel said, turning to Varian.

Varian nodded and stood from his chair. There was a potted plant in the corner he’d been eyeing, and he crossed over to it, glancing back at King Frederic uncertainly.

“Do… do y- you care about this plant, Your Majesty?” he asked. The first words he’d said this entire time.

Confused, King Frederic shook his head, waving his hand in a gesture that meant, _go on._

Swallowing, Varian turned to the plant and pulled his glove off, delicately pinching one of it’s leaves between his fingers. He closed his eyes and began to sing.

_“Flower, burn and shine…”_

An instant hush fell over the already silent room as Varian’s hair started to glow. Eugene’s expression didn’t change- he’d been expecting this- save for the way he eyed Rapunzel’s parents out of the corner of his eye. Watching carefully, his jaw tight, prepared for the worst, prepared to protect Varian, and she loved him for that.

Her parents watched with wide eyes as Varian sang, as the plant in his grasp started to wither and die. Shock seemed the most prevalent emotion, confusion and realization and disbelief all wrapped up in their expressions.

Rapunzel didn’t let herself look away, despite the uncomfortable knot winding in her chest. She forced the tension from her shoulders. This was just Varian. There was no need to be afraid of him.

Varian finished the song unhindered, the glow fading from his hair. The plant crumbled into dust.

When Varian opened his eyes, there was an odd light to them, like he was suddenly more awake. “It doesn’t work when my gloves are on,” he said quietly, slipping his glove back on. “I- I promise I won’t take them off.”

He sat back down, his head slightly bowed and his shoulders tense as he waited for the reaction.

“I hope this doesn’t change anything,” Rapunzel spoke up, meeting her parent’s gazes evenly. She let just enough challenge slip into her voice to convey that she would stand by Varian, protect him until her last breath. “He isn’t dangerous.”

Queen Arianna was quiet for a moment. “Well, that’s… quite something,” she said finally. “But… so long as they’re under control, I don’t anticipate there being any problems.” She offered a smile, still quite clearly surprised, but not scared. “We would still love to have you.”

King Frederic nodded in agreement, his eyes kind.

Rapunzel breathed a sigh of relief the same moment she felt Varian relax. She exchanged a look with him, reassuring. It seemed that was another thing Mother had been wrong about. Not everyone saw Varian’s powers as something to be feared.

Guilt pricked at her. She pushed it down.

From there, Rapunzel felt safe to continue the story. “We grew up together, with no one but each other. Until a couple days ago, we’d never been outside the tower. Us being here now is all because of this man...” She turned to Eugene, putting a hand on his arm.

“Eugene Fitzherbert, Your Majesties,” Eugene said politely. “I know I have a lot to answer for, and I’m fully prepared to take responsibility for it, whatever that may entail. But…” He looked at Rapunzel, taking her hand in his own and smiling. “I do love your daughter, and respectfully, Your Majesties, I won’t apologize for that.”

Rapunzel’s parents exchanged a look. It was hard to tell what exactly they were thinking. Rapunzel squeezed Eugene’s hand as they waited.

Finally, King Frederic met Eugene’s gaze. “You brought our daughter home to us, Eugene,” he said softly. “You are welcome in this castle and hereby pardoned from your crimes.”

Rapunzel broke out into an elated smile, finding a similar expression on Varian’s face. Though they’d only known Eugene a short time, there was no denying how important he was to them, and she didn’t know what they would’ve done if he hadn’t been forgiven.

Eugene looked stunned and grateful and happy and Rapunzel couldn’t help but kiss him.

~*~

Varian stood beside Rapunzel, eyes tracing the patterns in the tile flooring.

The king and the queen- Rapunzel’s parents- were out on the balcony in front of the castle, about to speak to all the people gathered below. About to announce Rapunzel’s return. Eugene was with them; he’d stayed with Varian and Rapunzel up until a few minutes ago, when he’d gotten the sense they wanted a moment alone.

Varian felt strange. His hair had been scrubbed clean and washed with soap and brushed until it was silky smooth, but he could still smell the blood. His clothes had been stained with it, so they’d given him some clean ones to wear while his were washed. The plain brown trousers and long-sleeved blue shirt had probably been chosen because they were similar to what he was already wearing. But they were stiff and uncomfortable and he’d flat out refused to wear the shoes they offered. They’d said that was fine, but he’d still cried a little bit.

His gloves stayed, too. Despite the fact that they’d had blood on them. He’d washed them as well as he could until the stain faded, but when he held them to his face he could still smell it, when he chewed on them he could still taste it, undercut with the bitterness of soap.

He felt raw and worn out and scared but oddly hopeful and relieved and it was all so _confusing_ but he tried not to think about it.

Rapunzel was wearing a new dress. It was a soft creamy lavender color, with delicate flowers embroidered into the silky, shimmering fabric. It had shorter sleeves with frills on the end and she was wearing the crown- her crown, the one Eugene had stolen, with gems like teardrops. She looked positively royal. She looked unfamiliar and strange.

“You look pretty,” Varian said quietly.

A faint smiled pulled at Rapunzel’s lips. “Thanks,” she murmured, fiddling with her newly shortened hair. “This… is pretty crazy, huh?”

Varian huffed a laugh. “Y- yeah. Major understatement, there.”

Outside, on the balcony, the king began to speak. His voice was strong and steady and carried through the doors.

 

_“My subjects. My friends. Thank you for hearing me.”_

 

Rapunzel glanced over at the doors, uncertainty flashing across her face. “It… feels so real all of a sudden, doesn’t it?”

Varian nodded slowly. “You’re a princess,” he said, his voice hoarse.

 

_“Just one short day ago, we were commemorating the eighteenth birthday of our lost princess. In the eighteen years since her disappearance, not a single day has gone by where I did not think of her, of what I’d lost.”_

 

Rapunzel’s brows knit together in concern. “Are… you okay?”

Varian bit his lip. “Rapunzel… I- I don’t know what to think about all this. You’re a princess and you have parents and it’s nothing we ever could’ve expected and- and I’m starting to think I don’t fit in it,” he admitted, glancing away.

 

_“And during that time, I have seen strength and resilience in each and every one of you. I see it in each flower left by the mural, in each word of condolence offered, in each lantern released on that most special day every year. You come together as a united people and you mourn. You mourn with your king and your queen and you celebrate and remember what she meant to you, what she meant to us.”_

 

Rapunzel knelt down to better meet Varian’s gaze. Her expression was open and earnest and full of emotion, kindness, deep and unconditional love so incredible it took Varian’s breath away.

“Varian,” she said slowly, meaningfully, “you are my brother. Nothing’s ever going to change that.”

 

_“In these eighteen long years, you have given me strength. And for that, I am forever grateful.”_

 

Rapunzel took Varian’s hand in hers and gently tugged his glove off.

Varian had to fight the instinct to pull away, tears stinging at his eyes. He didn’t understand. He didn’t _understand._ How could she still be so good? How could she still trust him? How could she even stand to _look_ at him after he’d almost-

“No matter how things change around us,” Rapunzel said softly, “no matter what happens, I will always be here for you. I will always love you. I will always keep you safe.” She squeezed his hand. “I promise.”

 

_“And it is because of that strength that I am standing here before you today, with the best news I have ever had the privilege of sharing. For today, I am not only your king, but a father once again. Our lost princess has come home.”_

 

Varian’s breathing hitched. A few tears streaked down his cheek and he quickly wiped them away, nodding, managing a watery smile. “Okay,” he whispered. “Okay.”

Smiling, Rapunzel straightened up, still holding Varian’s hand. She took a deep breath. “Well, here goes nothing.”

 

_“Today, I am overjoyed to present to you, for the first time…”_

 

Together, Varian and Rapunzel opened the doors and stepped out onto the balcony.

 

_“Princess Rapunzel of Corona!”_

 

The first thing that hit Varian was the light. It was blinding, the midday sun unobscured in the cloudless sky. It glittered off of rooftops and stone and over the sea of people gathered in the castle’s courtyard, an almost heavy sense of warmth bearing down.

The next thing was the noise. It rose up like a wave, rippling through the mass of people, building and building into a deafening applause. Wild and unrestrained and nearly shaking the ground.

The king and queen and Eugene were standing around the balcony railing, smiling and clapping. Rapunzel strode over to them, keeping her hand in Varian’s, bringing him by her side. She bowed first to the king- her father- a slight incline of her head, then to the queen- her mother. She leaned forward and kissed Eugene on the cheek. Then she turned to face the crowd, the kingdom, _her_ kingdom.

She tilted her head up slightly into the light and smiled. Her grip on Varian’s hand tightened.

The crowd roared with approval, with joy, with welcome, the sound echoing in Varian’s ears. It was the loudest sound he’d ever heard and it felt like it would swallow him, like floodwaters. Everything was bright and loud and so much bigger than he thought life could ever be. And it was probably meant to be perfect- but as he squinted into the sunlight, something caught his eye.

Varian saw the flash of a raven’s dark wing.

Then he blinked, and it was gone.

~*~

Frederic looked out of his study’s window.

It was late. Everything was still and quiet. The only sound he could hear was the light scratching of Nigel’s quill as he wrote, sitting at the desk behind him and drafting announcements to be sent out to Corona’s allies. Frederic breathed in the cool air through the window, secure in the knowledge that the castle was locked up for the night, everyone inside safe and sound asleep under the careful watch of the royal guard.

The midnight sky was a quilt stretched over the kingdom of Corona, rippling with stars like pinpricks of white thread. The view from the window overlooked much of the surrounding area; the courtyard, the market square, all strewn with festive decorations left in place from today’s celebration, a few overdone revelers sleeping contentedly in the streets.

The party had lasted well into the night, and if Frederic knew his people, it would continue in the morning until the end of the week, at least. Their mood reflected his own in an ever-filling cup; his joy was felt by them and returned in earnest, filling him with even more joy until he feared he wouldn’t be able to hold it all. It was the best kind of problem to have; his people were truly, genuinely happy for him, for his family- and what a _wonder_ it was, to have a _family_ of his own once again, after all these years.

His daughter was home. She was safe. She was happy to have found them and the entire kingdom rejoiced for it, for their lost princess.

But there was still something weighing on Frederic’s mind, in the form of a young boy with a distinctive blue streak in his hair and the power to take life.

The moment he saw Varian, he knew. This was Quirin’s missing son, this was the boy who’d been stolen fourteen years ago, this was the boy born with the power of the moondrop flower. Who’d grown up alongside Rapunzel as her brother and been through the same traumas and struggles and clearly suffered for it. Who was almost painfully quiet with frightened blue eyes that regarded everyone warily as he clung to Rapunzel’s arm and she clung back. Who had lost the only parent he’d ever known, terrible though she was, and now found himself plunged into a world of uncertainty.

And Quirin wasn’t here.

He’d left only a week ago, following a lead farther than he’d ever gone before. After spending the past fourteen years searching, the children were finally found, and Quirin wasn’t here for it, with no telling when he’d be back.

Frederic was faced with a dilemma.

He knew who Varian’s father was, where he was, and what he was doing. But he didn’t know when Quirin would be back, or- a horrible part of his mind whispered- _if_ he’d be back. Quirin’s search had taken him into danger plenty of times before, memories of injuries and scars and dark, haunted eyes flashing through Frederic’s mind. They’d never pretended Quirin’s job wasn’t as serious as it was, Quirin had always been straightforward about the risks he faced.

Varian had a right to know who his father was, didn’t he?

But what if Frederic told him and Quirin didn’t return for months?

What if Frederic told him, and Quirin _never_ returned?

Frederic frowned, his expression reflected in the window. As a king, he had a duty to his subjects, to act in their best interest. Was that the case here? Would it be wise to tell Varian now, while there was still so much uncertainty? Or would it be better for everyone involved to keep this quiet until Quirin’s return? There was always the chance keeping this from Varian would backfire, but when compared to the potential fallout of telling him while Quirin was absent, it was… less risky.

But maybe this wasn’t about being a good king. Maybe it was the father in Frederic, the part that detested telling Varian about a father he’d never known, filling him with all sorts of hopes and expectations, only for months to pass with no sight of Quirin. Leaving him with nothing to do but worry for months, never fully settling in, never adjusting, stuck in limbo waiting for Quirin to return.

Only, in the worst-case scenario, for him to never come back.

Frederic inhaled slowly. “Nigel, draft a letter addressed to Quirin of Old Corona, please,” he said. “He’s out of the kingdom on business, but send it to his home so he’ll see it upon his return.”

“Yes, Your Majesty,” Nigel said dutifully, preparing to touch ink to a fresh sheet of parchment. “What shall it say?”

Frederic’s expression smoothed over. He closed and locked the window.

“Come to the castle immediately,” he recited, turning to face Nigel. “The Sparrow project has gone through, on both counts.”

Several lives had been turned upside down in the span of a day. In the coming weeks, there would be enough to figure out, enough to handle, enough to adjust to without adding this to the pile. Once Quirin returned, then they could reveal his relation to Varian, work out exactly what that would mean for all of them, for Varian and Rapunzel particularly.

Once Quirin returned.

But not a moment sooner.

~*~

_i'll keep you safe_  
_try hard to concentrate_  
_hold out your hand_  
_can you feel the weight of it?_  
_the whole world at your fingertips?_

_don't be, don't be afraid  
our mistakes, they were bound to be made  
but i promise you, i'll keep you safe_

~*~

_**end act two** _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: And there we have it! Side-note, I know it's canon that Rapunzel was always her name, that it was the name Frederic and Arianna chose for her, but I chose to go another route.
> 
> Again, huge thanks for all the support, I'll get to your comments when I'm able. I anticipate the hiatus lasting for about a month? And then I'll probably switch to updating on Sundays due to changes in my school schedule. I apologize in advance for the hiatus, but I feel this is the best way for me to really do the most with the story I have in mind. Hopefully Act Three will be worth the wait!
> 
> Lyrics at the end are from 'I'll Keep You Safe' by Sleeping at Last. Out of all his songs, this is the one that gives me the strongest vibes for this fic, so if you only listen to one I've featured, make it that one.
> 
> Over the months, I've received some wonderful art for this story, but I have now gotten my first one-shot! It was really well written and brings me right back to the earlier chapters of this fic, with Rapunzel and Varian growing up in the tower. I strongly recommend reading it!  
> by Choco-Lottie:  
> https://www.deviantart.com/choco-lottie/art/I-ll-Take-Care-of-You-762196980
> 
> Hope you've enjoyed, please let me know what you think, and I'll see you next time! - Aqua


	31. calibrate, part I - who i should love

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Title: _calibrate, part I – who i should love_  
>  Rating: K+  
> Warning: Minor language  
> Timeline: Takes place the day after Act Two.  
> Summary: Yesterday, everything was different. Rapunzel and Varian start to adjust.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Hi readers, long time no see! Obviously, I did end up having to push the return date back a week, and I thank you for your patience. This being my first semester working on my major, I have been absolutely swamped with work. It’s for this reason that **I unfortunately have to pull back updates to once a month from now on.** Thanks for understanding!
> 
> That being said, I was floored by the response to Act Two and I cannot wait to delve into Act Three! Please bear with me through this slower pace, and read on and enjoy!
> 
> (End lyrics from Mind, by Sleeping at Last.) - Aqua

**act three**

~*~

_calibrate, part I – who i should love_

~*~

Eugene swallowed his bite of food, lifting his fork again.

Breakfast this morning was probably the nicest breakfast he’d ever eaten. Delicately poached eggs on top of perfectly toasted bread, with smoked sausage and a pot of still steaming tea. All of it, of course, served on fine porcelain with fine silverware- he could tell from the weight it was real, pure silver, not the silver-plated stuff.

It clearly wasn’t the grandest dining room in the castle- unless he’d drastically underestimated the royal’s flair- but it was still plenty impressive. It had the feel of a parlor, almost; brightly lit from a wall of windows and a round table with cushioned chairs. A few potted plants brightened up the corners, the light wood paneling on the walls giving it a homey, but refined air.

Somehow, though, it was hard to fully enjoy it with Rapunzel’s parents breathing down his neck.

Eugene was seated next to Rapunzel, Varian on her other side. The king and queen sat across from them; or, rather, as across from someone you could be at a circular table. They’d forgone their more regal outfits, dressed in a manner one might expect from members of the court. Which, to be fair, was still far more elaborate than anything Eugene had ever worn- fine silk, expensive- but he could appreciate the effort.

Rapunzel and Varian were still wearing their own clothes, still barefoot, and the royal treatment might’ve been a tad intimidating. So at least there was that.

The king wiped his mouth with a napkin- embroidered cloth, good quality- before speaking. “How did you sleep last night?” he asked, directing it to Rapunzel and Varian. “Did you find your rooms agreeable?”

Rapunzel and Varian exchanged a look, and Eugene immediately got the sense that they hadn’t enjoyed spending the night in their own rooms. It didn’t surprise him; after only having each other all those years, even expecting them to sleep on different floors, much less different rooms, only a day after arriving was expecting too much.

But he didn’t say anything. As the saying went, you don’t look a gift horse in the mouth. Or, in this case, you don’t criticize the ruling monarchs on their parenting techniques directly to their faces after they take you in. They’d even given him his own room- on the floor farthest from Rapunzel’s room, he’d noticed- so he really didn’t have a leg to stand on.

Rapunzel met the king's gaze. “Oh, yes, thank you,” she said graciously.

A silence settled as everyone went back to their plates, the faint clink of silverware on porcelain suddenly deafening.

It was weird. It was so incredibly weird, and if it was weird for Eugene, he couldn’t imagine how weird it was for everyone else. It wasn’t just the bizarre realization that he was sitting down to a meal with the monarchs of the kingdom when he’d almost been executed the other day- he had enough tact not to bring it up but he was gonna be wary for a while, no offense. 

But it was a bunch of little things, too. The way one of them would be looking at Rapunzel and then suddenly get weepy eyes, like it’d hit them all over again that she was really back home. The way Varian wouldn’t meet their gazes. The fact that there was a guard posted outside- they hadn’t seen him and it hadn’t been mentioned, but Eugene had seen the shadow under the door and picked up the ever-so-slight clanking of armor and he knew instinctively the king and queen had ordered a watch on them.

It confirmed his suspicions from last night; he could’ve sworn he’d heard movement outside his door but every time he checked, he’d missed it. He supposed he couldn’t fault them for being wary; last time he was here, he stole what was arguably their most treasured possession. So it made sense they’d play it safe.

The king struck up another attempt at conversation. “The kingdom is still celebrating, but we figured you might like a quiet day in today, just to get settled.” He smiled at Rapunzel and Varian- the practiced smile of a public figure trying to be warm. “We know it must be a lot to process.”

Rapunzel smiled back- equally as practiced. “Oh, it’s fine,” she said assuringly. “But thank you. I certainly wouldn’t mind taking a breather.”

Picking at his food, Varian gave a slight nod.

The queen swooped in before another silence could settle. “Well, why don’t you tell us about yourselves?” she suggested. “What are you interested in?”

Rapunzel perked up a bit, almost in surprise. “Oh! Well, um… we like to read?” she offered. “And um… cooking, sewing…” She trailed off, frowning slightly.

It was hard to say why. Eugene could certainly think of plenty of ways to describe Rapunzel, and boring wasn’t one of them. Maybe she wasn’t used to talking about herself. Maybe she was wary about opening up to near-strangers. Maybe there was a reason she preferred to keep her interests private. 

Either way, Eugene felt the need to step in. He’d held his tongue so far, knowing how precarious his place there was, and not wanting to encroach on this wonderfully awkward family bonding time. But maybe she needed a little-

“Rapunzel likes to paint.”

Varian’s voice was quiet, almost enough so that Eugene missed it at first. The boy had looked up slightly when he spoke, watching the king and queen intently. Like anticipating a certain reaction. 

Eugene’s heart tightened. This was nothing like the kid he’d gotten to know over these past couple days. That excitable, curious, talkative boy was nowhere to be seen. And he certainly couldn’t blame Varian for it; he’d been through something traumatizing that changed his entire world. But it still hurt to see him like that.

And yet, there was still that hidden steel in him, that same resolve that’d allowed him to defend Rapunzel to Eugene way back when. It was encouraging, almost- a sign that Varian could bounce back from this.

Given time, of course.

Rapunzel gave Varian a gentle smile. “That’s right,” she amended. “All art, really, but painting the most.”

The queen looked happily surprised at that- or maybe it was just that Varian had spoken at all. “That’s lovely. Do you like art too?” she asked Varian.

Varian jerked his shoulder in a shrug. “Drawing, a little bit,” he mumbled. “Mostly for…” He stopped as if a thought had occurred to him, his mouth pressing into a thin line.

He met Rapunzel’s gaze, and in the span of a second, a conversation seemed to pass between them. After which, Varian turned back to the royals.

“I like… science,” Varian said carefully.

Both royals raised their eyebrows at that. “Really?” the queen asked mildly. “That certainly sounds exciting. Any particular type?”

There was a second of hesitation before Varian answered. “Alchemy. And engineering. I… had a lab, back at- back at the… there… and I- I conducted experiments sometimes. And- and built things.” His voice dropped even more, his gaze stuck on his plate and his shoulders by his ears. He swallowed. “Is… that okay? Because I don’t have to-”

“Varian.” Rapunzel put a hand on his shoulder. “It’s okay.”

The king looked between them, a hint of uncertainty flashing in his expression before it was smoothed over. “I don’t see why not,” he said kindly.

It was meant as a positive thing, Eugene knew, but Varian curled in on himself, as if being chided. “It’s j- just that, uh, some people don’t like science,” he said quietly. “Think it’s loud and messy and dangerous. But I’m careful, I- I really am.”

The queen put a hand on her husband’s arm. “If it’s something you enjoy, Varian, I’m certain we can work something out,” she explained gently.

“Okay.” Varian lowered his gaze. “Thank you.”

The king seemed to notice that everyone had finished eating. He rose from his chair, lifting his voice slightly to address the room- and, Eugene suspected, the guard secretly posted outside the door. “Well, if we’re all finished, then. Arianna and I will be attending to business about the castle, and at the celebration in town. If you should need us, please don’t hesitate to find a member of the staff and let them know.”

Everyone else at the table stood, Varian a heartbeat behind Rapunzel. Eugene offered a polite smile and a respectful bow, tipping forward ever so slightly at the waist. “Thank you for the meal, Your Majesties,” he said, a portrait-perfect humble guest.

“Yes,” Rapunzel said gratefully. “Thank you…”

The lack of any kind of referral fell flat. Eugene immediately sensed Rapunzel’s conflict; what should she call them? As their daughter, the usual ‘Your Majesty’ was poor-fitting. But it seemed like any kind of familiar, parental name didn’t come instinctively to Rapunzel.

It made sense, coming from a home of such rigid control yet confusing uncertainty. That instilled sense of rule-following and walking on eggshells, borne from a demanding but unpredictable mother. She wouldn’t venture to do something like that without express permission, but at the same time, Eugene wondered if she even had the desire to. Would she ever want that kind of relationship again?

Now wasn’t the time to hash all that out, though. Wordlessly, Eugene held his arm out for Rapunzel, prompting her to loop hers through so he could escort her out- the proper, gentlemanly way- and with a final smile at the royals, they departed, Varian hurrying behind them.

The hallway outside the parlor was empty, which probably meant there was a guard around the corner. But Eugene decided not to dwell on that for the moment. As soon as they were a little way off, he stopped to face both of them.

“Hanging in there?” he asked softly.

Rapunzel let out a slow breath. “Yeah.” She gave him a timid smile. “Thank you, for being with us through this whole process.”

Varian was leaning against her side, almost wearily. “It was nice to have you there,” he added.

Eugene grinned, reaching out and ruffling Varian’s hair. “Hey, someone’s gotta keep an eye on you two rascals, huh? Wouldn’t feel right to dump you guys into this.”

Sad as it was, Eugene was literally the person they were most familiar with at this point. _Him,_ someone they hadn’t known even a week. Right now, they needed all the support they could get through this transition, and he was all there was.

Rapunzel nodded. “Varian and I were probably going to head back to my room. Would you like to join us?”

Eugene almost took her up on it, but he caught the slight inflection of her tone, and how Varian’s eyes darted away. They were offering to be nice, but he could tell they really wanted- rather, needed- some time alone together to talk or just… process everything happening.

“Nah, it’s okay,” he said, waving a hand, “you guys take a moment. I’ll meet up with you later. Besides, I wanted to get a look at the old place, get my bearings.”

Force of habit- always know your escape routes, your hiding spots, points of entry. But they didn’t need to know that. He didn’t want them to feel unsafe in their new home in the way he did whenever he was staying somewhere unfamiliar.

“Okay.” Appreciation flooded Rapunzel’s gaze. “Thanks, Eugene.”

Then there was a halting pause, a short movement where she started to lean forward and then caught herself. A blush came to her cheeks as she glanced away, brushing a strand of hair behind her ear nervously.

Eugene felt his heart jolt as he realized what’d happened. She’d almost kissed him on the cheek, but then stopped herself. It seemed the ‘casual physical affection of dating’ thing didn’t come instinctively either.

He was immediately hit with another realization, this one like a kick to the chest; he was the first person Rapunzel had ever dated. If they could even call this dating- they hadn’t talked about it yet, about the boat and the tower and the kiss. And he’d known, realistically, once he’d learned she’d grown up in the tower. Of course she never would’ve dated anyone.

The day before, he’d told her parents that he loved her, right to their faces with no hesitation. But all of a sudden it felt a hundred times more real, a hundred times more serious and important, and he panicked.

“Yep!” Eugene patted Rapunzel on the arm, laughing a strained laugh. “So I’ll catch up with you two later, okay? Okay!”

And with that, Eugene took only a moment to take in their bewildered expressions before turning on his heel and walking briskly away. He cringed to himself. Not his smoothest moment. But he pushed it to the back of his mind for the time being.

He had a castle to explore, a spying guard to avoid, and a lot of things to think about.

~*~

Arianna’s footsteps were a familiar echo in the halls of the castle.

As promised, she’d given Rapunzel and Varian their space. Making an appearance at the ongoing welcome celebration out in town, meeting with the castle seamstresses to discuss getting wardrobes for Rapunzel and Varian, and tending to all her usual correspondences had only taken a few hours out of her day, so she’d moved on to the next order of business.

She hadn’t seen Rapunzel or Varian around, nor had anyone she’d spoken to seen them, so she could only assume they were in one of their rooms. They were likely still adjusting and she hated to interrupt, but this was rather important. And, she hoped, something that would be a pleasant surprise for Rapunzel.

“Rapunzel’s room is up on the platform level,” Arianna said as she started up the final staircase.

The young woman walking beside her gave a nod. “Yes, Your Majesty.”

Cassandra seemed particularly terse today- nerves, perhaps. After all, there’d been a lot of talk among the staff as to who would take up the position of Rapunzel’s lady in waiting. Hardly anyone had expected that person to be Cassandra, least of all Cassandra herself.

The new uniform was a far cry from the girl’s usual attire, but Arianna thought it fitting. The powder blue gown brought a certain brightness to Cassandra’s appearance, even more so considering her black, wavy hair was tucked up into her veil.

They’d reached the top floor; Rapunzel’s floor.

Arianna turned to Cassandra. “Are you ready?” she asked.

“Of course, Your Majesty,” Cassandra replied.

Arianna smiled to herself as she turned to the doors. Cassandra was always so polite and reserved around her or Frederic, nothing like the rough-and-tumble girl from tales she’d been told by various members of the guard. Cassandra held a remarkable amount of formality, considering she’d been raised nearly her entire life in the castle. Most people stopped walking on eggshells after their first few years of employment, but Cassandra seemed to be stuck wearing glass shoes.

Arianna had a feeling it was because of who had raised her; Captain Elliot was a fine man, but the demands of his job instilled a certain degree of sobriety in him he never seemed to turn off, and evidently, passed onto his daughter.

Arianna knocked on the door. “Rapunzel?” she called. “May I come in?”

There was a pause before a response came. “Oh! Oh, sure, uh- yes, yes come in!”

Odd answer, considering Rapunzel sounded entirely surprised and unprepared. Nevertheless, Arianna opened the door and stepped into the bedroom.

Rapunzel was standing partway between the bed and the door, as if she’d gone to let Arianna in but then second-guessed it. Arianna wasn’t surprised to see Varian as well, perched on Rapunzel’s bed with his knees drawn up to his chest and his arms tucked in between, gaze lowered. It almost seemed like an attempt to make himself smaller.

“Hi.” Rapunzel immediately drew Arianna’s attention, offering a timid smile. She wrapped her arms around herself. “Is there… something I can do for you?”

Arianna knew at once that they were both unnerved by her presence in the room. It was difficult to say whether it was because they were still not used to being around her, or if their former ‘mother’ hadn’t spent much time in their rooms. There was also the almost guilty demeanor Varian had; Arianna wondered if he hadn’t been allowed in Rapunzel’s room back at their old home.

Arianna gave a kind smile. “Yes, hello,” she greeted them, acknowledging Varian as well as she nodded at them in turn. “I hope I’m not interrupting. If you have a moment, there’s someone I wanted you to meet.”

Rapunzel merely nodded in response. She looked slightly apprehensive, but mostly curious, which Arianna took as a good sign.

“This is Cassandra.” Arianna stepped aside to introduce her with an arm. “She’s to be your lady in waiting.”

Rapunzel blinked before breaking into a wide smile. “Oh! Oh, yes that’s- that’s great,” she said enthusiastically, “that’s wonderful, hello! It’s a pleasure to meet you! Um…” She trailed off, uncertainty and apology filling her expression as her shoulders crept by her ears. “I’m sorry, what’s a lady in waiting, again?” she asked tentatively.

Ah, of course- Arianna had only mentioned it in passing to her the night before. In all the action of the welcoming celebration, it had probably been forgotten. And growing up the way she had, Rapunzel would have no real understanding of the court and its positions.

Arianna turned to Cassandra, a silent invitation to speak.

“Your Highness.” Cassandra curtsied deeply. “I am to teach you proper etiquette, handle your correspondences, keep track of your various engagements and schedules, advise you in matters of the court, help you dress, and, above all, to act as your trusted companion and confidant.”

It was a perfectly polished answer, something Arianna might’ve expected from the finest graduate of the best finishing school in the country. It was also not at all the reason Arianna and Frederic had chosen Cassandra for this position, the fierce, determined, scrappy daughter of the Captain of the Guard.

While Cassandra was certainly knowledgeable enough to aid in Rapunzel’s princess duties, she was also close enough in age to be Rapunzel’s friend, and, most importantly, capable enough to act as an unofficial bodyguard.

Arianna had stayed up late last night, convincing Frederic they didn’t need to assign a guard to accompany Rapunzel everywhere. While she could understand his fears about any ill fate that might befall Rapunzel- fears she herself understood all too well- she wasn’t willing to restrict Rapunzel’s freedom like that, especially so soon after arriving and considering the situation she’d come from. This had been their compromise.

Arianna nodded at Cassandra, pleased. “We are confident Cassandra will be an invaluable resource to you in learning all the intricacies of being a princess, as well as anything else you might need. However, remember that you can always come to me or your father if you need anything.”

Your father. Oh, Arianna never thought she’d get to refer to Frederic with those words…

Rapunzel gave Arianna a grateful look. “Oh, that’s great, thank you!”

Warmth filled Arianna, her heart swelling almost painfully in her chest. “As promised,” she said, “you don’t have anything planned for today. But I figured you might like some time to get acquainted?”

Rapunzel’s eyes cut back to Cassandra, her smile showing the faintest bit of strain. “Of course!”

Arianna didn’t focus on it. “Wonderful,” she said. “Well, I’ll leave you to it, then. I’ll be around today if you need anything, lunch will be in the parlor again to be served at noon. I…”

_I love you._

Arianna stopped, the familiar phrase trapped on her tongue. It was something she always said without thinking whenever she and Frederic parted, a force of habit from over twenty years of marriage.

She wanted to say it. Badly. But common sense overruled; there was no way Rapunzel was ready to hear that yet. Arianna didn’t want to put too much on her too soon.

Arianna swallowed instead. “I’ll see you later,” she finished, turning to go.

As she went, her gaze caught on Varian, and she faltered for the second time. He hadn’t moved once, still huddled behind Rapunzel on the bed, but his eyes were resolutely trained on Arianna, just shy of meeting her gaze- that pale blue hollowed with unreadable emotion. It suddenly hit her how easily he’d faded into the background, as if he hadn’t been there at all.

A knot formed in her stomach. Was it her? Or was it him? 

Somehow, Arianna managed to smile at him. “Both of you, the parlor at noon,” she added gently. Then, with another nod at Cassandra, she excused herself, slipping quietly through the door.

~*~

The door closed behind Queen Arianna, but Cassandra didn’t relax.

She studied the princess, Rapunzel. An unusual name for an unusual girl. Freckled brunette with big, bright green doe eyes and a button nose. Pretty, in a less traditional way as far as princesses went, but pretty all the same. Cassandra had seen her briefly the day before- the entire _kingdom_ had, after all. But up close, there was more to notice.

For one thing, she didn’t wear shoes. Cassandra had been forewarned about it but had to stop herself from staring. The reasoning behind it made sense, but was even more shocking; she couldn’t comprehend growing up in a tower, never even setting foot outside for eighteen years.

There was her haircut, too. Choppy and jagged, done in a rush- by a shard of glass, apparently. The story had been recounted only once, by Rapunzel herself to her parents (with a great many details left out, Cassandra suspected). But it’d spread through the castle quickly, as all things did.

As had the presence of a certain ‘former’ criminal, who was apparently dating the princess. But that was getting off topic.

There was also the boy, the kid. Rapunzel’s brother. He was a young gangly teen, barefooted in worn, baggy clothes. His mop of dark hair (with that weird light streak in it) partly obscured his blue eyes from view. But she could see how pale and skinny he was, and how he looked anything but thrilled to see her. There was a faint white scar across the front of his neck.

Cassandra regarded him with just as much caution. While both siblings apparently had magic running in their veins, Varian’s specific brand was of the deadly variety. And he still had his powers, unlike his sister. The thick leather gloves he wore only alleviated Cassandra’s wariness slightly.

Cassandra curtsied again. “Your Highness. It’s a pleasure.”

Something akin to dismay swept across Rapunzel’s face before she laughed nervously. “Oh, please,” she said, reaching up to tug a strand of hair absently, “there’s no need to be so formal… really, you don’t have to.”

Cassandra straightened up, raising an eyebrow. Humble, then. Good, suddenly becoming royal hadn’t changed her. “I apologize, it is simply customary,” she said.

Rapunzel hovered for a moment before sitting down on her bed, waving an arm for Cassandra to sit on the little bench at the foot of it, which she did with a tight smile.

Rapunzel cleared her throat, offering a friendly smile. “So, um… why don’t you tell us about yourself? What are you interested in?”

It seemed like Rapunzel was just repeating something she’d heard without meaning. Cassandra returned the favor, dutifully reciting, “whatever My Lady desires.”

Rapunzel’s face fell again. “Oh… well, um-”

“You’re pretending.”

Cassandra startled at the unexpected voice. Varian was looking at her, a bit of reproach in his pale blue gaze. He sat motionless at Rapunzel’s side, a type of stillness that was part ‘freeze so you’re not seen’ and part ‘ready to move.’

Cassandra found her voice. “Pardon?”

Varian held her gaze. “You are,” he said lowly. “I can tell.”

Cassandra blinked. “I… apologize, it was not my intention to-”

“Can you stop?” Varian interrupted, a slight pleading note to his tone. “Doing that? A- around us? I- we don’t like pretending.”

A flash of irritation ran through Cassandra, hot in her veins. “Well, kid,” she said through gritted teeth, “around here that’s called _keeping a job._ Or, in my case, _not disappointing your father.”_

There was a beat of silence after she’d spoken, wherein Cassandra eloquently thought, _damn it._ Now she’d done it, she’d gone and snapped at the princess’s brother only a minute after meeting him, and now Rapunzel was going to be unhappy with her and ask for a new lady in waiting, and Dad would be so disappointed…

Cassandra was fully prepared for a number of reactions from Varian; indignation, offense, maybe even crying- from what she understood there’d been a bit of that yesterday, he seemed like a sensitive kid.

Instead, Varian gave a cheeky grin, showing off pronounced buck teeth. “Nice to meet you, Cassandra,” he said, pleased.

Beside him, Rapunzel snorted, giving him a playful shove. “Be nice!”

“I am!” Varian objected. “Now we know the real Cassandra, isn’t that nice?”

Rapunzel rolled her eyes. “Sorry for him,” she told Cassandra. “He usually isn’t as much of a pain this early in the day.”

“Hey, I resent that,” Varian sniffed. “Some of my most annoying moments have been in the morning.”

Cassandra watched them, taken aback. The change was so sudden and so great, it was like night and day. Where the siblings had just been reserved and cautious and uncertain, they were now relaxed and calm and almost… relieved?

Cassandra suddenly realized where she differed; she wasn’t an authority figure in their eyes, an ‘adult’ adult. Despite her twenty-two years, she was close enough in age to Rapunzel to be considered a peer. Someone they didn’t feel intimidated by, now that she’d dropped her lady in waiting act.

Oh, _wow,_ that actually hurt her for some reason. She hadn’t realized that something as simple as being stiff and professional with them would be such a big deal. But it made sense; coming from their simple life, any kind of pomp like that would immediately make them feel out of their depth and on edge.

She needed them to be able to relate with her, connect with her as a person and not some mask-wearing prim-and-perfect member of the court.

Cassandra gave a grin of her own. “Okay, so maybe I’m not the best at this lady in waiting thing,” she admitted. “I actually hadn’t planned on it; I help the maids around the castle but what I enjoy is training with the guard. But, you know, it’s an honor when the queen asks you personally. So I’m going to do my best.”

Rapunzel sobered a little bit, but her expression was still genuine. “I really do appreciate it. And I get that you have to uphold a certain appearance, but when it’s just us? Please, no ‘Your Highness’ or ‘My Lady’ or anything like that.”

Varian nodded earnestly. “Yeah, you don’t have to be fancy around us.”

Cassandra’s heart gave a pang. She could guess where that attitude had come from; pretending in front of their ‘mother’ but being natural around each other.

“Alright then,” Cassandra said, softer. “Like I said before, I’m basically here to teach you everything you need to know about being a princess. A crash course in royalty, if you will. But that doesn’t mean you have to change who you are. It’s mostly for your benefit; to make sure you don’t feel lost or overwhelmed in matters of the court.”

“That’s good,” Varian mused, glancing at Rapunzel.

Rapunzel nodded slowly. “Okay, I think I can handle that,” she said.

Cassandra smile back. She thought so, too.

~*~

Varian crept through the halls of the castle.

His bare feet were near silent on the cool, polished marble floors. The guards posted at odd spots around the castle were easily avoided, his path lit by moonlight filtering in through the tall stained-glass windows.

After dinner a few hours ago, everyone had retired to their rooms for the night. He’d wanted to wait a little bit, just to make sure most of the castle was really asleep, before leaving his room. Or, rather, the room they’d given him to sleep in. It hadn’t felt like his the night before, and it still didn’t; it was a blank slate of a room that might’ve been anyone’s, in a hall of what were probably identical guest rooms on a floor that wasn’t the same as Rapunzel’s.

He’d only slept last night out of sheer exhaustion, unable to keep his eyes open. Tonight, he couldn’t make them close, and he’d known within the first ten minutes he wouldn’t be getting any sleep alone. Which was why he was now sneaking through the castle in the dark.

He reached Rapunzel’s room without incident, the lone room on the highest level in the tallest tower of the castle, and he pretended it didn’t make him nervous. The gilded handle turned without even a faint squeak, and Varian quickly slipped inside, gently shutting the door behind him.

Even having seen it before, Varian couldn’t get over how grand Rapunzel’s room was. It was probably big enough to hold two floors of the tower in it, comfortably. Encompassing one wall was a massive four poster bed, with a thick silk comforter and piles of embroidered pillows. Fabric draped from the wooden posts like water, a stream caught in time.

The room itself was circular, custom bookshelves molded along a wall and filled with completely with a random assortment. A desk, a vanity, a dresser, a pair of nightstands, a sitting bench, and a wardrobe big enough to step inside rounded out the rest of the furniture. Luxurious curtains framed two high, arced glass doors that led out onto a stone balcony, with a chiseled stone wall. The floor was made of polished marble, the walls painted a soothing light yellow with white trimming, tall marble pillars placed at intervals around the length of the room.

It was a room without personality, grand in a hollow way like the rest of the castle. Grand in the way that echoed.

Varian tiptoed over to the bed. He wasn’t surprised to see Rapunzel sitting up, waiting for him, a silhouette against the light flooding in through the balcony windows.

He climbed onto the bed, the plush mattress dipping under his weight. He immediately found himself pulled into a familiar embrace, his head under Rapunzel’s chin and her arms around him, soft and comforting.

It’d only been three nights so far, but he sorely missed their nightly tradition of hair brushing and singing. And it was silly, he knew- her hair wasn’t long anymore, but that’d never been an issue when she brushed his hair. It was just habit by now, a special moment they shared, and he felt its absence deeply. But he wasn’t about to risk them being heard by anyone.

When Rapunzel finally spoke, her voice was scarcely audible. “Cassandra is going to wake me up tomorrow.”

“I’ll sneak back out before then,” Varian assured her.

Part of him wondered if this was necessary, sneaking around because they weren’t comfortable sleeping away from each other. But from the way the king had acted, showing them both their own rooms like the thought hadn’t even occurred to him… he’d probably disapprove.

_Mother always disapproved-_

Besides, Varian didn’t want them getting angry that he’d rejected the nice room they’d given him. He didn’t want people wondering why he and Rapunzel weren’t okay sleeping away from each other. He didn’t want anyone thinking something was wrong with them-

“How are you holding up?” Rapunzel asked quietly.

Varian let out a shaky breath, curling up closer to her. Her heartbeat was soothing, a reminder that she was still here with him, that he wasn’t alone. “I’m okay,” he murmured. “What about you?”

Rapunzel made a noncommittal noise. “Okay. Does… any of it feel real to you, yet?”

“It’s starting to.” Varian suppressed the urge to fidget with his gloves, his fingers almost uncomfortably warm inside the leather. “So, uh… wh- what do you think of them? Your parents?”

Rapunzel was silent for a moment, and Varian could almost picture her expression. Her brows knitted together, mouth drawn in a thin line. 

“I never missed them the way they missed me,” Rapunzel said finally. “I mean… how could I, right? I never even knew they were out there, that I had anyone to be missing.” She let out a laugh; a faint huff of breath without humor. “I feel like they expect something of me and I don’t know what. I feel like I mean more to them than they do to me and it’s _awful_ because they’re my parents, right? But… I don’t know them.” 

Varian thought it over. “Maybe it just needs time,” he suggested. “They’ve been imagining what you’d be like for eighteen years now, they need time to see who you really are and get to know you that way, learn to love you for you.”

He felt Rapunzel tense. “I don’t think I love them, Varian,” she said lowly.

Varian paused at that. He craned his head up to look at her, and his heart jolted. He could see tears glistening on her cheeks, illuminated by the moonlight.

“What’s wrong with me?” Rapunzel whispered. “They’re both so kind and wonderful, I’m so thankful they took us in, you and me and Eugene, and it’s clear they love me _so much_ but I just don’t feel it.” Her voice dropped even further. “It’s like… my heart hasn’t caught on to my head, that these are people I should love.”

Varian’s heart tightened. “Just give it time. It’s been two days.”

Rapunzel exhaled slowly. “Yeah… yeah, you’re right,” she amended. “I just feel bad it didn’t happen right away, like-”

She broke off then, and Varian had a guess as to why. _Like it did with Eugene,_ she’d almost said.

“You know,” Varian began, “I actually think that makes sense. That connection you had with Eugene, it- it was so special and sudden, right? Like, a few days ago you’d never met him, and now you love him. And you’re wondering why it isn’t like that with them, but… you can’t compare them.”

“… when did you get so smart,” Rapunzel mumbled. But there was a smile in her voice, and she shifted to wipe at her face.

Varian snorted. “I- I mean it, though. You can’t compare how things happened with Eugene to other relationships. In fact, I’d almost say you had an easier time bonding with him because he didn’t have any expectations of you. He didn’t have this… this image of you in his head before he met you.” His voice grew more thoughtful. “That has to come down first before new ground can be made.”

Rapunzel hummed lightly in agreement before lapsing into silence. Her hand gently stroked through his hair, her breathing evening out and deepening. Varian felt himself relax further, his eyelids drifting shut. He was almost asleep when Rapunzel spoke again.

“… do you ever miss your parents?”

Varian blinked, fully awake in a moment. “No.” The answer came so readily it surprised even him, but he kept going. “Sh- she always told us that they hadn’t wanted me, that they were gonna let me get killed be- because of my powers.” He bit his lip. “I… I never wished for different parents, just… that ours would be nicer.”

Maybe it was the tiredness, or the emotional whirlwind of the past few days, but somehow the admission didn’t hurt coming out. He felt like, despite all the pain and heartbreak, a weight had come off his chest, and he could finally be honest about certain things; a certain woman who pretended to be their mother.

It wasn’t something they talked about, back at the tower. How she treated them, how she treated Varian in particular with even more vitriol. Looking back, it was to protect themselves; what use was it to acknowledge how horrible their situation was when they had no hope of escaping it? No hope of making it better?

Now, though. There was no need to pretend anymore. He didn’t know if that relieved or terrified him.

Rapunzel made a considering noise. “Do you wonder about them now?” she asked. “Now that we know she lied?” Her voice became more urgent. “Varian, what if they looked for you? What if… they’re still missing you today?”

Varian went still, his throat closing up. “I don’t know,” he breathed. “I don’t want to think about it. I- I mean, what are the chances I’d ever find them again? A baby boy went missing fourteen years ago- for all we know, that happened in a different kingdom! And- and the only person who’d know for sure is dead.” 

His voice cracked on the last syllable, and he quickly blinked away the tears gathering in his eyes. Rapunzel held him close, gently shushing him- a force of habit more than anything else, because back at the tower she’d always let him cry except when Mother was home so he wouldn’t get in trouble.

It took Varian a moment to gather himself enough to speak.

“… I don’t want to get my hopes up,” he whispered. “I have you, and that’s enough.”

It was. _She_ was- Varian didn’t need anyone else. It’d always just been the two of them, that didn’t have to change now that they were here. And it wasn’t to say he didn’t want other people in Rapunzel’s life, in his life; Eugene felt like a lifelong friend, now, and Varian could see that the king and queen were trying. He wouldn’t mind getting to know them, wouldn’t mind if Rapunzel did find that parent-child bond they were so desperately craving.

But Rapunzel would always be the most important to him, and so long as he was the same to her, he’d be okay.

Rapunzel let out a breath. “Alright,” she said softly. “But, for the record? If they ever randomly did show up here looking for you? That doesn’t have to mean anything. I chose for my parents to be my parents again- we didn’t have to come here, didn’t have to stay. And if and when that ever happens for you, just know that I’ll support whatever you decide.” She kissed the top of his head. “I love you.”

Varian hid his face in the too-soft blankets of the too-large bed in the too-new room, his mind reeling and his heart twisting into knots.

But not before whispering back, “I love you, too.”

~*~

_first, the ground rules get established:_  
_memory is historically inaccurate_  
_but repetition, repetition sings  
_ _’til finally the melody is sacred, rooted, unchanged_

_patterns form and feel important,_  
_the starting lines of a living blueprint  
_ _all this information in formation is key  
_ _to draw a distinction between waking life and our dreams_

~*~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: So, a couple things! First off, there will be no Cassarian in this fic. Varian’s little crush on Cassandra from canon remains to be seen, but there will definitely not be any mutual romantic feelings/relationship type stuff.
> 
> Next, this Act will take place in the six months that pass between the end of the movie and Tangled: Before Ever After. At the moment I have it sitting at about ten chapters, give or take depending on how it all edits out. Act Four will delve into the show’s timeline, but with quite a few changes.
> 
> This Act will be entirely about character development and relationships, more of a slow burn, a transition state between these two points in their lives- pre and post tower. There will be action, but it will be more dramatic character conflicts instead of life-or-death epic-battle type action. I’m doing my best not to make it boring for you guys, especially with the slower update schedule, so please keep all this in mind as we move forward!
> 
> Again, I thank you from the bottom of my heart for all your support. Please keep it up! Feedback is the best motivator for writers.
> 
> With that, I remind you that barring any unforeseen circumstances, **the next chapter will be on December 9.** I’ll see you then! - Aqua


	32. calibrate, part II - whatever comes next

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Title: _calibrate, part II – whatever comes next_  
>  Rating: G  
> Warnings: Minor language  
> Timeline: The day after Chapter Thirty-One  
> Summary: It seems like everyone in the kingdom is celebrating… except for Rapunzel, Varian, and Eugene.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Hey readers, here we are! I'm pleasantly surprised this update is on time, as finals are this week HAHA but it's all good. This semester really put me through the wringer these past couple weeks so I'll try to get to all your comments as soon as finals are over! Thanks again for all the support ESPECIALLY as we're beginning our slower update schedule, your feedback means the world to me so PLEASE keep it up! 
> 
> Lyrics at the end from Seven, by Sleeping At Last. - Aqua

_calibrate, part II - whatever comes next_

~*~

It was a perfect day for celebrating.

Varian had taken everything into account. Sunny, but not overtly so- just enough fluffy white clouds hanging in the blue sky to provide adequate shade over the city square. The occasional warm, summer breeze drifted by, keeping the temperature pleasantly mild.

Festivities were in full swing. Music filled the air, the market square crowded with dancing people. Spectators clapped and cheered from the sidelines, as an ever-moving stream of passersby’s milled through and around them, visiting the various shops and stands about the market.

Somehow, it managed to be even more boisterous than the celebration on Rapunzel’s birthday. Faces flushed pink with jubilation shouted at the top of their lungs in revelry, packed so densely there was hardly any visible ground beneath hundreds of stomping feet.

There was no shortage of excitement to be found. All sorts of talent performed in any little nook or cranny they could find; jugglers, storytellers, firebreathers, contortionists, all attracting a fascinated audience.

Varian got the feeling even more people had come out to party than on the Festival of Lanterns. They seemed to be aware and fully taking advantage of the fact that this was a once-in-a-lifetime celebration. They’d been going at it for two days now, with no sign of slowing.

Rapunzel was busy with what Eugene called ‘making the rounds;’ walking around the square on her mother’s arm and being introduced to everyone who stopped by. Varian remained seated at the table that’d been set up for the royal family, but even from there he could see the strain in Rapunzel’s eyes. He tried to give her reassuring smiles whenever she looked over at him, but he wasn’t feeling particularly at ease himself.

Rapunzel’s father, seated on the other side of the table, was deep in conversation with what looked like very important men. Nobles, prominent business owners, Varian didn’t know. He had no hope of overhearing them with all the noise, but a small, paranoid part of him couldn’t help but wonder if they were talking about him.

Eugene had been a great comfort as of late but even he had things to attend to. At the moment, he was chatting with some of the thugs Varian and Rapunzel had met at the Snuggly Duckling. From what Varian had heard last, there was discussion of housing arrangements for them here in the capital city, as sort of a token of appreciation for their aid in saving Eugene. Only on the condition, however, that Eugene would see to their ‘rehabilitation;’ leaving their lives of crime behind. It was a tough job and Varian didn’t envy it.

Even Cassandra, Rapunzel’s handmaiden, was accompanying Rapunzel and her mother as they socialized. But if he was being honest, though she’d relaxed a bit around them after their talk, he wouldn’t consider her a friend, anyways.

So somehow, Varian felt alone in a crowd of hundreds.

It was a hollow echo of that first day in the town he and Rapunzel had shared. The setting was similar; a big party in the market square, all the noise and excitement. But this time, he felt oddly exposed. That day, they’d truly been just two faces among hundreds, known only by their own merits. They were ‘the two who’d drawn that lovely chalk mural’ or ‘the two who started the dancing circle,’ not ‘the lost princess and the boy she’d arrived with.’

No one at the castle had said anything, but Varian knew that was how people saw him. Them. Not ‘brother and sister.’ Not ‘Rapunzel and Varian.’ Hell, to half of them he wasn’t even ‘Varian.’ He was ‘that boy’ or ‘the quiet one’ or, in nicer cases, ‘that poor thing.’

He was the little black sheep who’d followed their lost princess home.

“Who are you?”

Varian jolted at the unexpected voice, wondering for a split-second if his thoughts had managed to manifest themselves. Turning in his seat, he looked up- and then down. It was a little girl, no older than seven, by his guess. Dark brown hair, light brown eyes, peering at him expectantly.

Varian blinked at her before glancing around. There were a couple other little girls standing a way’s off, watching with anticipation. Probably sisters, or friends, who’d sent the boldest of them to go talk to him.

“Oh, um…” He turned back to the girl, offering a timid smile. “My name’s Varian.” 

“Hi,” the girl replied plainly. “Who _are_ you?”

Varian flushed. Right, of course. “I’m Rapun- I’m the princess’s brother.”

The girl gasped. “Does that mean you’re a prince?” she asked, eyes wide.

Varian winced. “Uh, n- no, not really,” he attempted to explain. “See, _her_ parents aren’t _my_ parents, so…”

“Oh,” the girl said, clearly disappointed. “Okay.”

With that, she turned and left, skipping back to meet the other girls.

Varian swallowed, shifting in his seat to face the table again. He fought the urge to hug his knees to his chest- it wasn’t proper, he reminded himself. Instead, he fidgeted with his gloves under the table, his gaze fixed on the polished wood.

It was silly, he knew. Just a little girl asking a question. But it managed to hit on something he was still confused about himself, and that only added to the uneasy feeling in his stomach.

He remembered what he’d told Rapunzel, the day of her return. How he wasn’t sure if he fit in with her new life. And he remembered what she’d told him; that he was her brother, and nothing would ever change that.

But what if that wasn’t enough anymore?

“Hey, you!”

The next voice that caught Varian’s attention was familiar; Rapunzel. Varian looked up in time for her to lean down and hug him. Instantly, the knot of anxiety in his chest unwinded, and he hugged her back gratefully.

“Hey,” he whispered. “Missed you.”

Rapunzel’s arms tightened around him for a moment before she pulled away, sitting down beside him with a smile. “Yeah, sorry about that!” she laughed. “There’s so many people to meet.”

Her mother sat down beside her, followed by Cassandra. “Quite so,” she agreed, amused. “Are you taking it all in, Varian?”

Varian smiled faintly and nodded. On the other side of the table, Rapunzel’s father finished his conversation and bid his companions goodbye.

“Well then,” he addressed the table with a broad smile, “enjoying the festivities?”

“Oh, yes,” Rapunzel assured him. “It’s all very exciting.”

“That’s definitely a word for it!” Eugene’s chipper voice joined in as he took a seat at the table, sitting in the chair beside Varian. He ruffled Varian’s hair in greeting before shooting Rapunzel a grin. “Coronans certainly know how to party, eh?”

Rapunzel immediately brightened at his presence. “That’s for sure,” she replied.

“Yes, certainly.” Rapunzel’s father had an ever-so-slight edge to his voice. It was directed at Eugene, but it made Varian cringe inwardly anyways.

Eugene took the hint instantly, sitting straighter in his chair as his grin faded. “It’s a beautiful arrangement, sir,” he said politely. “The florals? Some of the finest I’ve seen to date.”

“Mmm.” Rapunzel’s dad was unimpressed. “Now then, Varian.”

Varian jolted at the sudden address, looking up in surprise.

Rapunzel’s father rose from his seat. “There’s something I’d like to show you back at the castle,” he explained, “just for a few minutes.”

Varian quickly stood. “O- oh, oh of course.” He glanced at Rapunzel, who seemed as surprised as he was.

Nevertheless, Rapunzel gave an easy smile. “Sounds fun!” she said, rising from her chair.

“Actually,” Rapunzel’s mother caught her by the sleeve, “Rapunzel, I was hoping to speak with you.”

“Oh?” Uncertain, Rapunzel sat back down.

Eugene made as to get up. “Well hey, I wouldn’t mind seeing-”

“A word, please, Eugene?” Cassandra spoke up unexpectedly, taking Eugene by the arm. Before he could say anything, she pulled him away from the table and into the crowd a little way’s off.

Varian met Rapunzel’s gaze, pushing down a spike of panic. An irrational part of his brain felt trapped, like they were deliberately being separated and isolated, but he dismissed it immediately. That kind of thinking would make everything worse.

He really wasn’t keen on going off with Rapunzel’s father alone. It wasn’t just awkward, it was daunting, too. He didn’t know what to expect, if he was in any trouble or not. He feared he’d say or do something wrong to make Rapunzel’s father dislike him.

But refusing or otherwise making a fuss would put him in more trouble, and he knew just from the look in her eyes that Rapunzel understood that, too.

“Oh, um, sure! Sure…” Rapunzel nodded slowly, her gaze meant to be reassuring. “See you back here in a few.”

Varian nodded and turned to follow Rapunzel’s father back to the castle, taking a steadying breath.

Everything was fine. Calm down, don’t jump to conclusions, you don’t know if anything’s wrong. Control yourself, be good, don’t mess up. He could do that, couldn’t he?

He supposed he’d find out, one way or another.

~*~

Eugene begrudgingly let Cassandra pull him away, biting back a sigh.

He’d really wanted to go with Varian, keep the little guy at ease. It wasn’t that Eugene thought the king would do anything to hurt Varian. He just knew both siblings would be more comfortable with him there, especially since they weren’t together.

He didn’t want to take it out on Cassandra, though. She was probably just trying to be polite, and discreetly give Rapunzel and the queen some space to talk alone.

Finally, Cassandra let go of his arm and faced him. Eugene gave a friendly smile.

“Hey, so Cass, I was hoping to-”

“It’s Cassandra.” The handmaiden’s voice was flat. “We’re not friends, Fitzherbert.”

Eugene paused, blinking at the abrupt change in demeanor. “… okay, Cass _an_ dra,” he said, emphasizing the name. “I’m sensing you have something to tell me?”

Cassandra nodded. “What are your intentions with Rapunzel?” she asked.

Eugene raised his eyebrows. “Wow, no beating around the bush, huh? Okay, I’m game.” He folded his arms. “I’m interested in her romantically. Does that answer your question?”

“Not exactly.” Cassandra frowned. “What assurance can you provide me that your intentions are honest? How do I know that you aren’t just using her to gain wealth or power?”

The accusation was so surprising, Eugene actually laughed. “What, like a gold-digger?” he asked, disbelieving. “Please, for my entire life I’ve worked for everything I’ve ever had.”

Cassandra’s eyes narrowed, steel flashing in hazel. “By stealing it,” she countered.

“Stealing is hard work,” Eugene defended. “And frankly, this is something that is in no way a concern of yours, I- I mean _really,_ you only met her yesterday.”

“Then I’ve known her almost half as long as you,” Cassandra snapped. “And actually, as Rapunzel’s lady in waiting, everything _about_ her is my concern. She is my first and _only_ priority, and _nothing_ is going to stop me from making sure she is safe and happy. And that includes her not getting her heart broken by some criminal.”

Eugene put his hands up. “Woah, look, look, I’m really trying not to get off on the wrong foot here but it’s _former_ criminal, okay?”

Cassandra huffed a laugh. “Right, because the power of love compelled you to change overnight,” she said sarcastically.

“Don’t knock it ‘til you try it,” Eugene snarked back. “Besides, I haven’t done anything, and I couldn’t if I wanted to. I’ve got a guard tailing me twenty-four seven, probably watching this conversation from somewhere in the crowd, in fact.”

Cassandra’s eyes widened, but there was something else. Eugene instantly identified the type of shock she was feeling; she wasn’t surprised to hear Eugene was being followed, she was surprised _he_ knew about it.

“Oh, yeah, don’t think I didn’t notice,” Eugene said indignantly, “he’s loud and he forgets about his shadow. Now- now _here’s_ a question; how did _you_ know about that?”

Cassandra hesitated for a moment- likely debating whether or not to deny his accusation- before her expression hardened. “My dad’s the captain of the guard,” she said tersely.

Eugene’s mind went blank.

Out of all the things he’d been expecting, that wasn’t one of them. Something up there had a real nasty sense of humor. Rapunzel’s new lady in waiting was the daughter of the man who’d hunted Eugene relentlessly, and almost succeeded in putting him to death.

Eugene hadn’t seen or spoken to the captain since being at the castle, and he’d be perfectly fine keeping it that way. But Cassandra was someone he’d have an infinitely more difficult time avoiding because of her proximity to Rapunzel.

 _Wow,_ he just couldn’t catch a break, huh?

“Well isn’t _that_ a nice surprise!” Eugene exclaimed angrily, throwing his hands up. “And here I was wondering what I’d done to make you hate me, it’s probably just in the blood, huh? I can't _believe_ I didn't realize it sooner, you both have such pleasant dispositions. I can really see the resemblance.”

Cassandra bristled. “I’m adopted, wise guy,” she hissed. “And I won’t apologize for his actions. He was following orders! Orders that came from _your_ would-be in-laws!” 

Eugene’s jaw tightened. He hadn’t quite made his peace with the fact that Rapunzel’s parents had ordered his execution, but he’d be damned if he let Cassandra use that against him.

“Well,” he drawled, “the crown’s back, with its lost princess to boot, and I’ve got an official pardon from the king himself. Not _once_ since being here have I tried to steal anything, you can ask my little guard friend.” He shrugged. “I don’t know what you want from me.”

“Truthfully? I want you out of Rapunzel’s life,” Cassandra deadpanned. “Yes, you brought her back to where she belongs, which _might I add_ is the _only_ reason your theft has been forgiven, and that was great. But she’s got a long way to go, and at best, you’ll be a distraction, and at worst?” She shook her head. “She doesn’t need that on top of everything else.”

Eugene rolled his eyes. “Your concerns have been noted, but you really have no authority over me. Once you have an official order from the king forbidding me _by law_ from dating his daughter, then we can talk.”

Cassandra studied him for a moment, calculating. And then suddenly, she shouted.

_“Thief!”_

Eugene moved before he even registered it, flattening his back against the wall of the building, looking for the guards, for his way out, and-

 _Ah._ Realization crashed down on him as he reminded himself where he was. He wasn’t committing a crime. He wasn’t being pursued by guards- with all the noise, no one had even looked up at Cassandra’s exclamation. And she was just staring at him, a smug look on her face.

Eugene willed his heartrate to calm down, feeling himself flush with both shame and anger. “Oh, come on!” he protested. “That doesn’t mean anything, it’s an old habit. It’s just been two days!”

“Exactly my point,” Cassandra said coolly. “Now, I can’t force you to stay away from her but god help me, if you hurt her-”

“A slow and painful death, right, I got it the first time, thanks.” Eugene brushed past her. “Nice chatting with you, Cassandra.”

Eugene pushed his way through the crowd, his head ringing. Rapunzel was still speaking with the queen back at the table. He went off in the opposite direction, heading deeper into the crowd, into the town, hoping to lose himself in the noise and activity, and promised himself he’d catch up with Rapunzel later. His mood had done a complete one-eighty; he was frustrated and on edge and that was the last thing she needed.

Besides, he didn’t feel like celebrating anymore.

~*~

Rapunzel’s eyes tracked Varian all the way back into the castle.

His figure disappeared through the tall doors, and she made herself look away. Of course, she knew he wasn’t in any danger, but she’d be lying if she said it didn’t make her anxious. She tried to push it to the back of her mind and instead focus on Queen Arianna.

They hadn’t spoken much one-on-one. In fact, they hadn’t spoken much at all. Just polite, slightly awkward conversation at all their meals, and a few words here and there. It hadn’t even been three whole days yet, she reminded herself, and as Varian had pointed out the night before, these things took time.

Queen Arianna smiled kindly. “So, Rapunzel…” The name didn’t settle on her tongue quite right. “Varian’s quite shy, isn’t he?” 

Rapunzel’s heart jolted. “Um, yes, I suppose so,” she said nervously. Where was this going?

Queen Arianna hummed apologetically. “I couldn’t help but notice” she explained. “Whenever we eat together, he doesn’t say much. Sometimes you even speak for him.” She looked at Rapunzel curiously. “Why is that?”

“Oh, um…” Rapunzel jerked her shoulder in a shrug. “That’s just… how we are? How he is, I mean. I’ve discovered I’m the more outgoing one.” Everything was a learning process now. After all, how could they have known if either of them were shy when they’d never met anyone else? 

“I see.” Queen Arianna pursed her lips, her expression hard to read. “That’s alright, I was just concerned it was something Frederic or I had done to make him uncomfortable.”

Rapunzel hesitated. Queen Arianna sounded… unhappy? Maybe? She probably didn’t like Varian’s shyness and wanted a better explanation, so she could figure out what to do about it. Being told it was just how he was probably didn’t please her.

On the other hand, Rapunzel wasn’t keen on having this conversation. She wasn’t used to opening up to people, had barely been able to open up to Eugene. And Varian wasn’t even here. Talking about him like that left a bad feeling sitting with her.

But if it’d make Queen Arianna happy with them…

“It’s… not you guys,” Rapunzel said carefully.

Queen Arianna perked up at that. “Oh?”

Rapunzel bit her lip. “When Varian was little,” she began, “he’d try to get, um… Gothel… to pay attention to him, but it always ended badly. Eventually, he learned that it was better… that it was safer… to be overlooked. After all,” she laughed without humor, “I was the one she wanted.”

It was confusing, still. Why Mother had seemed to hate Varian so much. They’d both known Mother had always feared Varian’s powers, but that didn’t explain it all. And now, Rapunzel feared they would never know, that she, and Varian especially, would always be left wondering.

“So,” Rapunzel continued, playing with her hair, “when she came home, I’d be the one to engage with her, and Varian just… kept his head down.” She frowned. “It didn’t always help, sometimes she was in a mood or just determined to find something wrong with him, but… it was better. I guess we just… got in the habit.”

Queen Arianna looked sympathetic. “Oh, I’m so sorry,” she murmured. “I appreciate you telling me. We want you two to feel comfortable here, which means letting us know if anything’s upsetting you.”

Rapunzel offered a tentative smile. “Of course.”

Easier said than done. It was one thing to say you wanted someone to be honest with you, but it was another thing to follow through, to be patient and forgiving and understanding. To respect boundaries when they weren’t ideal for you. 

Experience told Rapunzel this wouldn’t hold. Even the best intentions failed sometimes. It was saying, _“if you tell me the truth, I won’t get angry”_ and then getting angry anyways. She knew this wasn’t something she could promise.

Queen Arianna smiled back, and the knot in Rapunzel’s chest grew tighter. She wanted to say something, to ask for that understanding, to try and explain as best she could that she _wanted_ to feel at home here, she truly did, but it was so much all at once and she just needed time to adjust. She wanted to ask for that, at least.

But then a small group of people came over for introductions, and Rapunzel was back to smiling and shaking hands and learning names she was certain to forget, the conversation pushed to the back of her mind.

~*~

Varian kept his gaze on the floor as they walked through the castle.

Despite his self-assurances, his heart was pounding in his chest. Really, nothing good ever came from someone wanting to talk alone. Try though he might not to jump to conclusions, he couldn’t help the fears that came to mind unbidden, all the possible outcomes of this conversation.

His first thought was that Rapunzel’s father had found out they were sleeping in the same room at night, and, as they feared, didn’t approve. His next thought was that Rapunzel’s father had decided Varian didn’t belong here and was sending him off. The thought after that tried to be optimistic; maybe Rapunzel’s father just wanted to talk to him, get to know him better. And then immediately after that, Varian thought about how that could go really, really badly.

He didn’t know how to talk to anyone besides Rapunzel, and to a lesser extent, Eugene. Rapunzel’s father was not only an adult but a _king,_ and Varian had no clue what was or wasn’t proper. His only point of reference for talking to parents was Mother, and she was hardly a reliable-

“Well, here we are.”

Rapunzel’s father spoke unexpectedly, and Varian glanced up just in time to stop himself from walking into him. He’d stopped by a door Varian didn’t recognize- though, really, he didn’t know his way around the castle yet so he didn’t recognize much.

Rapunzel’s father glanced back at Varian before reaching for the door’s handle. “I apologize for the secrecy,” he said, “but I wanted you to be surprised.”

The door opened, and Varian forgot to breathe.

It was a lab.

A long room with stone walls and floors, sturdy wooden tables taking up the length of one wall and absolutely covered with alchemy equipment. Thick glass jars of chemicals and substances stoppered with corks, shiny metal instruments laid out in rows, and even one of those brand-new fancy prototype microscopes Varian had read about, what seemed like a lifetime ago.

Along the shorter side of the room stood tall bookshelves made from the same wood, filled with thick tomes and stacks of journals waiting to be filled with research. And one corner of the room was dedicated to more of a mechanic’s workshop, a workbench and heaps of scrap metal and parts sorted neatly into baskets.

“It’s amazing,” Varian breathed.

Rapunzel’s father surveyed the room, nodding in satisfaction. “I wish it could have been done sooner, but it was short notice. I hope it will suffice?”

Varian’s eyes widened. “I… I- I’m sorry, sir,” he stammered, “are you- are you saying this is for _me?”_

Rapunzel’s father raised his eyebrows. “But of course, my boy, you’re interested in the sciences, aren’t you?”

Varian was floored. A whole fancy new lab, just for him. _Made_ just for him. It was almost impossible to wrap his mind around. “Y- yes, yes sir, very much so! But this is…” He shook his head wonderingly. “This is so much. I- I don’t know what to say.”

Rapunzel’s father smiled kindly. “There’s no need to thank me.”

Varian flushed. How rude of him! “Oh, right,” he said quickly, “thank you, thank you so much!”

Rapunzel’s father seemed pleased. “We’ve stocked it with some nonvolatile substances for you. If there’s anything specific you’d like to order, just fill out this sheet here on the door and we’ll have it delivered.”

Varian swept his gaze over the room again, taking it all in. He picked up a magnifying scope from one of the tables, turning it over in his hands. This was for him. They’d gone through all this trouble to make a state of the art laboratory and workshop for him, just because he’d mentioned liking science. Just so he could have a place to do what he enjoyed, at his leisure. It was overwhelming, almost.

“Are you ready to head back out, then?” Rapunzel’s father asked.

Varian glanced back at him, hesitating. 

He was torn. Part of him wanted to stay. The lab was new and exciting but also familiar, in a strange way. It was solid walls and tables of equipment and secure, quiet solitude. It was him in his element, completely at ease and in control. His lab had always been his refuge, back at the tower.

Outside was none of that. Loud, chaotic, tons of unfamiliar people. A celebration he felt entirely out of place in, with a family he didn’t know if he belonged with. It was forcing a smile and walking on eggshells, all the while feeling like he was barely keeping his head above the water.

But Rapunzel was back outside.

Varian exhaled slowly and set the scope back down on the bench. It’d still be here for him later.

“Yes, I’m ready,” he decided. He gave the lab one last look-over before turning back to the door.

He couldn’t wait to tell Rapunzel.

~*~

_how wonderful to see a smile on your face_  
_it costs farewell tears for a welcome-home parade_  
_a secret handshake between me and my one life_  
_i’ll find the silver lining no matter what the price_

_but i want to be here_  
_truly. be. here._  
_to watch the ones that i love bloom_  
_and i want to make room_  
_to love them through and through and through_  
_and through the slow and barren seasons too_

_i feel hope_  
_deep in my bones_  
_tomorrow will be beautiful_

_and i’m ready, god i’m ready, oh i’m ready,_  
_restless and hungry, but i’m ready_  
_for whatever comes next_

~*~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Exciting news; we have passed the one year anniversary of this fic! Chapter one was posted on December 1, 2017. Since starting this fic, I have earned my Associates degree and begun working on my major, moved houses, changed jobs, and met so many incredible people!
> 
> As it stands right now, this fic has almost 17,000 hits, 1100 kudos, 277 subscriptions, 200 bookmarks, and 450 comments! I could have never anticipated the response I would get when I started this journey, and I truly thank you all from the bottom of my heart for all the support and encouragement!
> 
> What an amazing year, here’s to the next one! Please leave a comment if you enjoyed, and I’ll (hopefully) see you on January 6! - Aqua


	33. calibrate, part III - where breath is our own

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Title: _calibrate, part III – where breath is our own_  
>  Rating/Warnings: K+ (references to past violence/attempted murder)  
> Timeline: A couple days after the last chapter.  
> Summary: Not even a week after arriving at the castle, some big questions for Rapunzel and Varian bring up less than fond memories.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Hi readers, I hope you all had a lovely holiday season! I’ll be starting classes in a week and I’m hoping there won’t be any issues that take up my time, but you never know, so just keep that in mind. Thank you so much for your comments, **please continue to comment if you’re enjoying this series!**
> 
> Title and lyrics at the end from Homesickness, by Sleeping At Last. - Aqua

_calibrate, part III – where breath is our own_

~*~

“The other fork, Your Highness.”

“Oh, sorry!”

Cassandra nodded as Rapunzel traded out the forks, choosing the proper one this time to start eating her lunch as the servants took everyone’s salad bowls away. Conversation at the table resumed as if the exchange hadn’t happened, Cassandra merely a fixture of the room.

The royal family had made a point of eating every meal together since Rapunzel and Varian’s arrival. It was a more casual way of spending time together, as both monarchs had much business to attend to throughout the day with the celebration still going strong, and the siblings were still adjusting, needing time to themselves. At the moment, Cassandra was working with Rapunzel on table etiquette, so she was allowed to sit in on the family’s meals and coach Rapunzel on proper manners.

She wasn’t as hopelessly clueless about etiquette as Cassandra had been fearing. Of course, all the intricacies of different eating utensils and table settings was lost on her, but she was familiar with good posture. Sitting up straight, shoulders back, elbows off the table, and legs crossed at the ankles.

Curiously, Cassandra noticed that Varian, seated at Rapunzel’s side like always, sat in the same way. Probably teachings from their ‘mother’ that’d been imparted on both of them. Though, she had to wonder if growing up without a male figure in his life had anything to do with it. Thoughts for another time.

The atmosphere while the family ate was… a little awkward, but much improved. For one thing, Eugene wasn’t there for this lunch, off conducting business for his felon rehabilitation program. A lost cause, in Cassandra’s opinion, but at least it kept him out of her hair.

It was also likely because the siblings were finally settling into the routine. Eating with the king and queen wasn’t new anymore, wasn’t uncertain. Compared to the new experiences they were having all day, every day, this was now familiar to them.

For the most part, anyways. They were still having trouble making easy conversation. But Cassandra couldn’t blame them. What did you even talk about with your long lost parents? Or, in Varian’s case, your _sister’s_ long lost parents.

At the moment, it was the weather. A minor upside to Rapunzel and Varian’s isolation was that they had no idea the weather was considered a stand-in topic, and had both contributed earnestly to a conversation about the past week’s cloud patterns- though, of course, Varian spoke a lot less and much quieter than his sister. And even more fortunate was the fact that King Frederic and Queen Arianna were just so thrilled to have them here that they didn’t _care_ if it was awkward.

Or, at least, Cassandra didn’t think they did. But today was strange, something seemed to be on their minds. They waited for a lapse in conversation to bring it up, at least, and Cassandra politely pretended not to be listening as she ate her own lunch.

“So, Rapunzel,” Queen Arianna began, “there’s something we’ve been meaning to talk to you about.”

Rapunzel sat up with interest. “Oh?”

Beside her, Varian lifted his gaze but remained silent, watching the conversation. Cassandra tried to read his expression, get a sense of what he was feeling, but he had a surprisingly good mask for a kid his age.

“Normally,” King Frederic explained, “when a princess turns eighteen, she has a coronation. An official ceremony that gives her the title of Crown Princess.” He spread his hands. “We were thinking of arranging yours, since it’s already a little overdue.”

“A ceremony?” Rapunzel raised her eyebrows. “Wow, that sounds like… kind of a big deal.”

“There’s no need to worry, it’s just a formality,” King Frederic said reassuringly. “A long-standing tradition of inviting our allies to witness the crowning of our future ruler. All you have to do is walk down the aisle, swear your oath, and receive your crown. We’ll have a rehearsal ceremony to ensure you’re prepared.”

Rapunzel bit her lip. “Alright, then…” she said tentatively. “When were you thinking?”

“We’d like to host the rehearsal next week,” King Frederic replied. “The actual ceremony will be the day after that.”

“Next week?” Rapunzel said weakly. “That’s… great.”

King Frederic gave her a knowing look. “It’s okay to be nervous,” he said gently. “But we’ll be here to guide you, and Cassandra will help you prepare.”

“Of course, Your Majesty,” Cassandra said dutifully.

“You’ve been settling in so well,” King Frederic continued, smiling broadly, “we figured, why wait? Your mother and I hope this will help you feel confident of your place.”

Out of the corner of her eye, Cassandra noticed Varian suppress a flinch.

“Okay…” Rapunzel’s expression might’ve been a smile, might’ve been a wince. “Actually, I… wanted to talk to you about something,” she said timidly, playing with a strand of hair. “Um, what exactly would you like me to call you?”

Queen Arianna perked up. “Oh, well, whatever you would feel most comfortable with,” she said easily.

Rapunzel ducked her head slightly, her shoulders hitching up by her ears. She kept her gaze lowered, staring hard at the table as she seemed to brace herself. “Is it… would it be okay if I called you… Mom and Dad?”

There was a distinct pause in the room, Rapunzel’s question hanging suspended in the air. Cassandra realized where the conflict was; it must’ve been encouraging to King Frederic and Queen Arianna to know that Rapunzel wanted something more familiar to call them. But there was also the reminder why _‘Mother’_ wasn’t an option.

Finally, King Frederic smiled. “That’s perfectly fine with us, Rapunzel,” he said. “More than fine.”

Rapunzel’s head snapped up, eyes widened in surprise. Relief flooded across her face. “Okay,” she breathed. “Thank you. But um…” She glanced at Varian, sitting quietly beside her.

Varian swallowed. “I… how should _I_ refer to you?” he asked hesitantly, his voice barely audible.

Cassandra felt another wave of surprise wash over the room. The real meaning of his question went unspoken; Varian didn’t want to call them Mom and Dad, because they weren’t his parents. But he didn’t know what else to call them. Was _‘Your Majesty’_ too much for the brother of their daughter? Too stiff and unfamiliar?

Queen Arianna pursed her lips, exchanging a look with King Frederic. “It’s… an unusual situation, to be sure,” she began. “There’s really no protocol. However, we don’t want you to feel uncomfortable, so in this instance, using our first names would be fine.”

“First names…” Varian looked floored. “I- are you sure? I mean, is that really okay?”

Cassandra couldn’t help but share his disbelief. Referring to the king or queen by just their first name… only relatives and closes, trusted friends were granted that honor. Staff who’d been working in the castle ever since King Frederic was just a boy didn’t even have that privilege.

King Frederic dipped his head. “Yes, it’s alright,” he assured. “We won’t take any disrespect.”

“We just want you to feel at home here,” Queen Arianna added warmly.

Varian nodded slowly, as if still wrapping his mind around it. “Okay… thank you, I- I appreciate it.” 

Rapunzel, at least, looked pleased. “Thank you so much, Mom and Dad!” she exclaimed brightly.

The effect of those words on King Frederic and Queen Arianna was instantaneous. Cassandra could practically see their hearts melting, and suddenly the uncomfortableness of Varian’s question was gone, vanished from the room like it’d never come up. Damn, she was good.

“Posture, your Highness,” Cassandra reminded her gently. In her excitement, Rapunzel had leaned over the table.

Rapunzel quickly corrected herself, flushing slightly. “Thanks,” she whispered.

As if by some unspoken agreement, the table went back to eating. Back to polite chatter. There was a certain forced energy behind Rapunzel’s eyes now, pushing her to be upbeat and engaged in her voice, appearance, and mannerisms. Her parents hadn’t seemed to pick up on it, practically glowing with contentment at how things had gone.

And Varian once more fell to the outskirts of the conversation, watching silent and wary like an easily startled animal.

Cassandra took all this in, filed it away in the back of her mind, and pretended not to notice.

~*~

Eugene polished off the last bite of his sandwich, brushing crumbs from his shirt as he made his way down the halls.

After stopping by the kitchens to grab a late, late lunch, he’d set off to track down Rapunzel and Varian. Well, he was looking for Rapunzel specifically, but had a feeling Varian wouldn’t be far away.

No one was being particularly helpful in his search, but that was fine, because Eugene had already familiarized himself with the castle’s layout, and it was just a matter of checking the most likely places they’d be. It was still annoying, though. He didn’t like missing out on things, on being out of the loop, but business had called him away.

Eugene wondered, not for the first time, what exactly he’d been thinking when he’d propositioned this idea, this little pet project he was affectionately calling the ‘Adopt a Thug’ program. Because while it’d seemed like a good idea, after an annoying morning full of frustrating meetings, he was failing to see the appeal.

It’d been one thing to get the Pub Thugs pardoned for their crimes. That was the _easy_ part, surprisingly enough. Their help in saving Eugene’s life, and by extension, helping bring Rapunzel back home, had been considered a community service of paramount proportions. So, a wave of the hand, a signature from the king, and all was forgiven in the eyes of the law.

But it was another thing _entirely_ to attempt rehabilitation. Finding lodging for all of them within the capital, finding jobs they were actually qualified for from employers who’d actually hire them, and finding mentors to assign to each thug to keep tabs on them throughout this process… _that_ was the hard part. Unsurprisingly, the citizens of Corona weren’t too keen on the notion of a bunch of felons moving in and setting up shop. For the time being, the best Eugene could do was get them rooms at a local inn, and retired members of the Royal Guard to be their mentors. Or, as the old guards preferred to call it, parole officers.

And then, the thugs themselves. For the most part, they were enthusiastic about the whole concept. But old habits were hard to break, and when they had a tendency to steal anything that caught their eye or start a brawl at the drop of a hat, it made conversations… difficult.

For one single moment, Eugene allowed himself to wish he was still a thief. Stealing never gave him headaches. Of course, he wouldn’t say it out loud, not with his little guard buddy still following him wherever he went, but he was definitely thinking it.

He rounded a corner, coming to the door to Varian’s lab. After checking both sibling’s bedrooms and finding them empty, he’d figured this was his next best bet. Eugene stopped in front of it and gave a sound knock.

“Hello?” he called. “Roguishly handsome man requesting permission to enter?”

“Come in!” Rapunzel’s muffled voice answered.

Success! Eugene cracked the door open and poked his head inside. The lab had changed a remarkable amount from the time he last saw it, considering Varian had only had it for a couple days. For one thing, it looked like a tornado had blown through. All the tables were in disarray, cabinet drawers pulled out and spilling over with equipment.

A couple chairs had been added in one of the corners. Or, rather, weird chair/mattress/pillow things that looked like stuffed burlap sacks. The bookshelves were in a similar state of chaos, books pulled out and left sitting on the tables, the chairs, even the floor, bookmarks and pages of scribbled notes sticking out from between their covers haphazardly.

And Rapunzel was standing on one of the tables, drawing on the wall, while Varian tinkered with some mechanical gizmo. They both looked up at Eugene’s entrance, breaking out into wide smiles.

“Eugene!” Rapunzel hopped lightly off the table, landing silent on bare feet, and greeted him with a hug. “I missed you! How’d it go?” she asked, craning her head up to look at him.

“As good as can be expected,” Eugene replied, smiling at her. “So, what’re you two up to?”

Varian set down the wrench he was using, pushing his project to the side. “I asked Rapunzel if she could paint something in here, so she’s sketching out a mural,” he explained, waving an arm at the wall excitedly.

Eugene squinted at the wall. The pencil marks were so faint, he could barely make them out. “Well, I’ll bet that’ll be something special,” he remarked, straightening back up.

Rapunzel had a happy flush to her cheeks. “I can’t wait. I’m doing my own room too, and Varian’s room, and it’s just been _so long_ since I’ve had all this space to paint!” She sighed wistfully. “It’s going to be so nice.”

“I’ll bet,” Eugene laughed. “Soon enough the whole castle will be getting a makeover, huh? And not a moment too soon, it’s all a bit too bland for my liking.”

Rapunzel’s eyes widened. “Oh my gosh, I don’t know about that,” she said shyly, tugging at a strand of short brown hair self-consciously. “I wouldn’t paint anywhere else unless they asked me too.”

“Well, they should,” Eugene said. “You’re very talented.”

Varian cleared his throat. “Hey, uh, did you need something, Eugene?” he asked plainly, giving them an amused, knowing look.

Eugene felt his face heat up. “Right! Uh, I need to talk to Rapunzel for a minute.” He nodded at the door. “Outside.”

Rapunzel blinked at him. “Oh, um, sure!” She turned to Varian. “Be right back.”

Varian gave them a good-natured thumbs up before returning his focus to his work. Eugene quickly led the way out of the lab, closing the door behind them. The hallway was, thankfully, still empty, so they didn’t have to go much farther than a few steps from the door.

Once they stopped, Rapunzel turned to face him. “Is everything okay, Eugene?” she asked, concerned.

“Yes, don’t worry,” Eugene assured her. “I know these past several days have been… just, _so_ crazy. I can’t imagine what it’s like adjusting to all this. But it occurred to me that, well, we- we never really talked… about us.”

Rapunzel tilted her head. “Us?”

Eugene took a breath. “The day we arrived, I told your parents I loved you, and that was true. I mean, it is true,” he added quickly, wincing at his horrible phrasing. “It’s still true now. But um, I was just wondering how you wanted to… do this? I mean, like, are we dating now? Boyfriend-girlfriend, that whole shebang?” Oh god, why was he so bad at this?!

Rapunzel raised her eyebrows. “Oh gosh, I… I think so? I’ve never actually dated anyone, of course, but… I think that’s what I want. To do. With you.” She ducked her head, nervous and hopeful, looking up at him through her lashes. “Is… that what you want?” she asked tentatively.

“Princess’s boyfriend, huh?” Eugene mused, smiling. “There’s plenty worse things to be.” He took her hands in his own, giving them a light squeeze. “Of _course_ it’s what I want, Rapunzel, nothing would make me happier than being with you. And I know a lot’s going on right now, so… we’ll just take it slow, okay?”

Rapunzel looked relieved. “Okay. I’d like that,” she murmured, tilting her head up as she leaned in.

Eugene leaned in too, a hand coming up to cradle Rapunzel’s face as he moved forward to kiss her-

“Rapunzel!”

The abrupt voice made Eugene jolt. He pulled away from Rapunzel, looking over her shoulder to see…

Cassandra. Oh, wonderful. The lady in waiting looked as pleasant as ever- which was to say, not at all pleasant- as she marched up to them, her hazel eyes stormy.

“Cassandra!” Rapunzel exclaimed, quickly stepping away from Eugene as she blushed. “Hi there! We were just-”

“There you are!” Exasperated, Cassandra took Rapunzel by the arm. “Come on, you’re going to be late for your coronation gown fitting.” She spared a moment to scowl at Eugene. “You can’t keep getting _distracted.”_

Rapunzel smacked her forehead. “Oh, right! I’m sorry, I completely lost track of time,” she said sheepishly.

“Coronation gown?” Eugene frowned. “What coronation?”

“Sorry,” Rapunzel called over her shoulder as Cassandra dragged her off, “tell you later!”

With that, the two women disappeared around the corner.

Eugene sighed to an empty hallway. “I didn’t mean _that_ slow,” he mumbled to himself. Then, for fun, called aloud, “what’s a guy gotta do to get a little consideration around here, am I right?” Maybe his guard would get a chuckle out of that.

Ah well. Eugene pushed open the door to Varian’s lab. The teen was at a different workbench now, goggles over his eyes, fiddling with a completely different project that involved… some kind of complicated glass tubing.

Varian glanced over at Eugene, and then looked again, his brows furrowing. “Wait, where’s Rapunzel?” he asked, pushing his goggles up.

Eugene jabbed a thumb at the door. “Princess stuff.”

“Oh.” Varian deflated visibly, lowering his gaze. “Okay.”

Eugene scuffed his boot along the floor, painfully aware of the awkward silence. All of a sudden, it struck him just how little time he’d spent with Varian- both in general, and one-on-one. He really didn’t know much about this kid.

Well, they had to start somewhere. Eugene cleared his throat. “So uh, how’ve you been doing, kid?” he asked. “You liking the new lab? Seems like you’re doing… something,” he said appreciatively, at a complete loss for what any of it was.

Varian chewed on his lip. “I… can’t decide,” he said quietly. “I started with reading the books, I was- I was gonna read them all before I did anything but then a section on sulfur reactions caught my attention and I wanted to do _that,_ but then I got distracted with another experiment and…” He gestured weakly at the mess around him. “It’s just… it’s just a lot. I can’t make up my mind. And then I don’t get _anything_ done.”

Eugene hummed thoughtfully. “Well, why don’t you just start with what you know?” he suggested.

Varian tilted his head. “What do you mean?”

“What kind of stuff did you used to do?” Eugene rubbed the back of his neck. “I uh, I saw your old room back- back there and it seemed like there was a lot going on there, too. You did experiments there?”

Varian’s expression clouded, unreadable. “Yeah…”

“Why don’t you just try replicating those?” Eugene shrugged. “It’ll give you a chance to get settled in here, become familiar with everything. And who knows, maybe completing one experiment will give you another question, another thing to explore.”

Varian brightened at that. “Hey, that’s- that’s actually not a bad idea!” he exclaimed, eyes lighting up.

Eugene clapped a hand to his heart dramatically. “Oh, ouch, I have good ideas!” he defended, with a teasing grin.

It had the opposite effect. Varian shrank in on himself, quickly looking down. “I’m sorry,” he mumbled, “I wasn’t trying to-”

“Oh, hey…” Eugene knit his brows together, putting a gentle hand on Varian’s shoulder. “It’s okay, buddy, I was just teasing.”

Varian blinked in surprise. “Oh- oh, right.” He flushed, stepping away from Eugene and rubbing at his arm. “Yeah. Sorry. Um, anyways, I’ll definitely do that. Thank you for the suggestion.”

“Sure thing.” Eugene gave a soft smile. “I’ll be around if you need anything, alright?”

Varian nodded wordlessly and turned back to his work, pulling his goggles down over his eyes.

Well, it was better than nothing. Eugene let the conversation end there and turned to let himself out. They could talk more at dinner later that evening, and he’d learn more about this coronation thing and maybe, hopefully, start to feel a little more comfortable around here.

~*~

Rapunzel drew the brush through Varian’s hair, her gentle motions accented by each lyric that left her lips.

They’d finally found time for their usual nightly ritual of hair brushing and singing. Except this time, her hair only took a minute to brush and it didn’t glow in response to the song, her soft words echoing strange and unfamiliar in the large, domed room. This time, Rapunzel couldn’t help but be reminded of the _last_ time she’d sung this song, of the dim gray tower with dust on the floor and Varian bleeding out in her arms.

She didn’t know if similar thoughts were crossing Varian’s mind, as his face was turned away at the moment. He’d seemed to relax slightly, soothed by the familiar motion of the brush through his hair. Of course, Rapunzel was still grateful for this time. They’d been too scared those first few nights to try singing, worried they’d be overheard and get caught. But with careful testing, they’d discovered that if she sang just below a certain volume, no one could hear them from outside the room unless they were standing right by the door.

It was a peaceful time. The only light was the moon’s glow through her curtains, a pale silver light just bright enough for her to see her hand in front of her face. Her room was steadily becoming more comfortable to her, to them. Homier, less impersonal. She was already planning murals in her head, envisioning the streaks of color across currently barren walls. But it still wasn’t hers yet, it wasn’t theirs, and they wouldn’t feel truly at home until then.

The hues of nighttime helped with that, blending everything together into cool midnight blue, erasing those distinguishing features. If she didn’t focus on anything, if she let her vision get the slightest bit blurry, she could almost pretend they were in her old room, in the tower. The bed was larger, sure, but if they stayed huddled in the center, if they didn’t reach beyond, they could easily forget there was more to it. The curtains could lead downstairs, to the main floor where Mother slept in her bed on the rare nights she stayed over and-

A lump caught in Rapunzel’s throat. She pushed through it as she sang the last verse of her song, her voice slightly choked, the brush wavering in her grip. Varian noticed, of course, sitting upright as she finished the song. Rapunzel pretended not to notice, setting the brush down on the bed and quickly wiping at her eyes.

“There,” she said, keeping her voice low and steady. “That was nice, don’t you think?”

Varian hummed noncommittally, shifting on the bed to face her. “Are you okay?” he asked.

Rapunzel sighed, giving him a faint smile. “It’s okay, Varian,” she reassured him, “I’ll be fine. Just feeling a little down.”

Varian studied her, moonlight glinting in his eyes and reflecting sorrow back at her. “This is about Mother, isn’t it?” It was a question, but the certainty in his voice, the gentle downward inflection, told Rapunzel he already knew the answer.

Rapunzel bit her lip. “She was awful,” she murmured, curling her fists in the bedsheets. “She was selfish, and cruel, and she lied to us for our entire lives, keeping us trapped for her own sake. She never _cared_ about us. And the way she treated you, what she _did_ to you, it was evil and I _hate_ it and I hate her-”

“I miss her, too.”

The words took a moment to process. Rapunzel stared at Varian, almost wondering if she’d imagined it. If, somehow, her subconscious had put the words in her ears to try and alleviate her guilt. But Varian held her gaze, something understanding and bittersweet in his expression.

“What?” Rapunzel whispered finally, hardly trusting her own voice.

“I know,” Varian said quietly. “I know it doesn’t make sense. I shouldn’t- _we_ shouldn’t, but… she was our mother.” His breathing hitched. “And I miss her.”

Rapunzel’s eyes blurred suddenly with tears, and in the next moment Varian was in her arms, wrapping her in a hug as they both started to cry. She held him tight through the pain, the heartbreak she knew they were sharing together. No one else would understand, she realized through the flood of tears. No one else would be sympathetic to their homesickness, because no one else spent their life in that tower, no one else had been raised by their mother.

And she was thankful, _so thankful_ more than ever that she had Varian, that she wasn’t alone. She couldn’t imagine what this process would’ve been like without him, what her _life_ would’ve been like without him. For that, for simply _existing_ in her life, she was more grateful to him than she could say, more than he could ever know. 

“It feels _wrong.”_ Rapunzel’s voice wavered. “She was so _horrible,_ but she was all we had.”

“I- I don’t miss th- the bad parts,” Varian whispered, his breath hiccoughing with sobs. “But it’s- it’s finally starting to sink in that I’ll n- never see her again and the last thing I ever did was try to-”

“Shh.” Rapunzel had just enough presence of mind to shush him, both in reassurance and as a precaution. No one else knew about what Varian had almost done, back at the tower, and Rapunzel was content to keep it that way. “Shh, it’s okay. Everything’s gonna be okay.”

Varian sniffled and curled in closer to her. “W- we have each other.”

Rapunzel managed a nod. “We do. We always will,” she promised.

Everything else had changed, but not them.

~*~

_if love’s elastic, then were we born to test its reach?  
is it buried treasure  
or just a single puzzle piece?_

_it’s poison ivy  
beneath our brave and trusting feet  
but all revelations come to us in recovery_

_cry wolf, cry mercy,_  
_cry the name of the one you were raised to believe;_  
_cry hard, cry yourself to sleep, cry a storm of tears,_  
_if it helps you breathe_

~*~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: So, Stockholm syndrome is a thing.
> 
> In other news, Cassandra will probably not be very likable for most of this arc! After all, for many people she wasn’t very likeable for the first half of the show, and this takes place six months before then so she’s got a long way to go. Have patience and please no character bashing!
> 
> Additionally, you might be thinking “wait, the coronation doesn’t happen until Tangled: Before Ever After, which is six months from where the fic is now.” And you’d be correct. I’ve got big stuff coming up, so just sit back and enjoy the ride.
> 
> My hope is to get the next chapter up on February 3, but that’s always subject to change. **If you’re enjoying this series, it’s VERY IMPORTANT THAT YOU LEAVE A COMMENT and let me know!** Thanks for reading, and I'll see you next time! - Aqua


	34. where there is light, a shadow appears

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Title: _where there is light, a shadow appears_  
>  Rating: K+  
> Warnings: Minor language, panic attacks, references to past violence/blood/injury  
> Timeline: A few days after the last chapter.  
> Summary: What should have been a simple thing, the rehearsal for Rapunzel’s coronation ceremony, becomes increasingly complicated as cracks in the façade start to emerge.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Hi readers! Long story short, the start to this semester was insane and hasn’t yet slowed down, so until further notice my other fic, _a mess of a story,_ is on hiatus. I’m waiting for a couple things to shake down and settle, so hopefully I’ll get back to that one by its next couple update times. But this fic is my priority, and my efforts will go into keeping this one updated once a month.
> 
> That being said, I’m so glad we’re here! This chapter is a big one, both literally (over 5700 words!) and symbolically. Parts of this chapter have been written for _months_ because I was so excited about it, and I can’t wait to hear what you all think of it!
> 
> Title and lyrics from Sorrow, by Sleeping at Last. Please leave a comment if you enjoy! - Aqua

_where there is light, a shadow appears_

~*~

“What’s the proper form of address for a duke?”

Rapunzel considered Varian’s question, tilting her head. “Your Grace,” she decided finally, grinning when Varian nodded. “Come on, give me a harder one!”

“Stay still, please,” Cassandra murmured from behind her, still tying up the strings to her corset.

“Marquess,” Varian offered. “How do you refer to a marquess?”

Rapunzel knit her brows together. “The Most Honorable?”

“The Right Honorable,” Varian corrected gently.

“Ah, that’s right.” Rapunzel sighed good-naturedly, letting her gaze drift about the room.

Her bedroom was in slight disarray due to the impending coronation rehearsal. Lists of the guests were strewn about, divided between those who’d arrived early to attend the rehearsal as well and those who would be arriving in a couple days for the real ceremony. Varian sat perched on her unmade bed among pages of notes on etiquette and titles. He’d been quizzing her on them as Cassandra helped dress her in the layers that went over her underclothes- including, unfortunately, the corset.

There was a final tug of the strings before Cassandra stepped away. “Alright, that’s done.”

Rapunzel took a deep breath, feeling the corset press against her ribcage. Uncomfortable, but not painful. “Well, what do you think, Varian?” she prompted, turning to face him better.

She’d noticed Varian had been a little vacant since waking up. Spacey, lost in thought, more reserved than normal- which was saying a lot. Even now, his attention drifting in between questions. She had a feeling it had to do with the coronation, but hadn’t had a chance to talk to him alone yet. But it was just the rehearsal today, she was certain she’d get the time before the real coronation was held in a couple days.

Varian shook himself, setting down the page he’d been zoning out on and giving her outfit a once-over. “That’s a lot,” he noted mildly. His lips quirked up in a small grin. “Is it hot?”

“And _heavy,”_ Rapunzel assured, pulling a face.

“We aren’t done yet,” Cassandra reminded them, nodding her head at the final layers of the ensemble draped on the bed.

Varian clicked his tongue, eyes flashing with amusement. “Looks like there _are_ some drawbacks to being a princess, huh?”

Rapunzel paused. His tone of voice was teasing enough, but she couldn’t shake the feeling there was something under it all, something-

There was a knock at the door before it cracked open.

“Knock knock, everyone decent?” 

Rapunzel spun around with an excited gasp to see Eugene poking his head in, a hand covering his eyes. “Eugene!”

He was wearing a new outfit, though not nearly as lavish as the one Rapunzel found herself in. It was reminiscent of his regular attire; a white long-sleeved shirt beneath a dark gray vest. Normally, it wouldn’t have seemed to be that big a difference, but to Rapunzel, who had only ever seen him in one outfit, it made all the difference in the world.

He looked rather handsome, she thought, blushing as Eugene uncovered his eyes and grinned at her. “Eugene,” she said, “it’s so good to see-”

“What are you doing?” Cassandra demanded furiously. “You shouldn’t be in here while the princess is getting dressed!”

“Hey, I’m fully clothed!” Rapunzel protested, feeling her cheeks heat up even more. Impulsively, she folded her arms over her chest.

Cassandra eyed her critically. “By _your_ standards, yes, but if you walked outside like that, you’d probably send the maids fainting.” She turned back to Eugene, her displeasure evident on her face. “And correction; you shouldn’t be in here _at all._ It’s highly inappropriate for an unrelated man to be in a young lady’s bedroom.”

Eugene crossed his arms. “What if I’m her boyfriend?” he challenged.

“Even worse,” Cassandra deadpanned.

“Well, hey, it’s not like we’re alone,” Eugene pointed out, flushing slightly. “You’re literally right here.”

“Yes, I’m aware,” Cassandra said, her tone clipped. “Did you need something, Fitzherbert?”

“As a matter of fact, Cassandra,” Eugene sniffed, “yes.” He turned to Rapunzel, his expression softening. “I just wanted to stop by and wish you luck. Not that I think you need it, of course,” he added quickly, raising his hands. “You’re gonna do great and everything’s gonna be fine! I mean, it’s not a big deal, it’s a pretty simple ceremony, nothing to worry about, but good luck anyways!”

Rapunzel’s heart fluttered. “Aw, Eugene, that’s so sweet-”

“Anything else?” Cassandra asked impatiently.

Eugene sighed. “I’m also here to tell Varian he needs to go see the tailor for his outfit. The final adjustments are done and he needs to try it on. _And_ wear it to the rehearsal,” he added with a pointed look at Varian.

Varian jolted from his spot on the bed, glancing at Eugene in surprise, and then reluctance. 

Rapunzel pursed her lips, recalling this particular issue. Other than their clothes being washed their first day there, they’d gotten away with only wearing their own clothes. She suspected Varian preferred it for the same reason she did; it made her feel more like herself.

Back at the tower, they really only had a couple outfits at any given time until they outgrew them; day clothes and night clothes. But this wasn’t the tower, and there was a limit to how long they could wear the same outfit. The wardrobe of new clothes that’d appeared suddenly in her room one day was another reminder.

She could definitely understand Varian’s reluctance. After all, her own coronation outfit was all _kinds_ of uncomfortable. The tight corset, heavy layered skirts, bloomers, cuffed sleeves… and she wasn’t even wearing her shoes yet! Varian had always been more sensitive about this kind of thing, so she couldn’t imagine he was thrilled about it.

But Rapunzel knew instinctively Varian wouldn’t protest, and was proven right when he merely sighed and slid off the bed. “Okay…”

Rapunzel gave him a sympathetic look. “Hey, it’ll be over before you know it!” she said encouragingly. 

“Yeah, don’t dilly-dally,” Cassandra added over her shoulder, “once it starts it runs pretty quickly, and then we have the banquette with all the guests.”

“Oh, don’t you worry,” Eugene assured, ushering Varian out of the room, “I wouldn’t want to miss a second of the stuck-up, stifling snobbery.”

“I was talking to Varian,” Cassandra replied flatly. “I’d be thrilled if _you_ missed it, Fitzherbert.”

Eugene’s mouth pressed into a line. “Right. Well, I’ll be thrilled to see you there, Rapunzel,” he said loftily, giving her a grin and a wink before slipping through the door.

“See you out there!” Varian called, following Eugene out.

The door closed behind them, and Cassandra rolled her eyes before returning to Rapunzel’s outfit.

They remained in silence for a while longer, Cassandra murmuring to herself as she went about adding the final layers to the ensemble; a creamy white overskirt and a top with poufy shoulders and a high brimmed collar. Only when what was done, and Cassandra moved on to hair, did Rapunzel attempt to strike up conversation.

“Hey, Cassandra?” she ventured, fidgeting with the hem of her top. “Don’t you think that _maybe…_ you’re being a little hard on Eugene?” 

“Oh, I am, absolutely,” Cassandra replied matter-of-factly.

“Oh.” Rapunzel chewed her lip. “Well, um, I was just… wondering why? If… if you don’t mind telling me.”

Cassandra snorted. “You mean it isn’t obvious?” she asked, raising her eyebrows. “Let’s see. He’s a criminal, for one thing, the one my dad spent years trying to track down. He broke into the castle and stole your crown, the most precious thing your parents had to remember you by, on the day before your birthday. He’s flippant, and disrespectful, and doesn’t take anything seriously. And there’s always the possibility he’s just using you.”

Rapunzel’s stomach was in knots. “I see,” she said quietly.

There was a sigh, and Cassandra came around to face her, kneeling slightly to put a hand on Rapunzel’s shoulder. “Look,” she said, softer. “I know he saved you, but a person like that- a man like that- doesn’t just change overnight. Or over a week. I just don’t want you to get hurt.”

Rapunzel nodded slowly. “I’ll… keep that in mind,” she managed.

“Alright.” Cassandra didn’t seem satisfied, but she didn’t press it. She straightened up, setting the brush on the vanity. “Now, it’s time for makeup. Try to stay still, no more talking.”

Rapunzel sighed and closed her eyes, warding off the sting of tears.

~*~

Varian studied his reflection in the mirror for a moment.

It couldn’t have been more than a week since the last time he’d seen his own reflection. A real, good look, not just a passing glance from a mirror in the hallway as he walked by. But the change was astounding. He looked older, he thought, but he wasn’t sure why. Maybe it was the tired circles under his eyes, contrasting greater with his paleness.

His gaze lingered on the thin white line across the front of his throat- the scar left by Mother’s knife- before darting away to the rest of him.

The new outfit was… not at all to his taste. The white, long-sleeved shirt was buttoned up, tighter than he was used to with a collar around the neck. It was tucked into new pants, also tighter, and worn under a royal purple vest.

Worst of all were the shoes; shiny black leather boots that came up to his calves. They were unbearably tight, pinching everywhere and everything, heavy and stiff and painful. Varian had almost cried after pulling them on, biting down on his glove to muffle the noise so that Eugene and the tailor, waiting on the other side of the changing screen, wouldn’t hear.

And speaking of gloves- there was a new pair for him to wear, made of soft white fabric instead of thick black leather. Varian breathed shallowly through his nose, flexing and clenching his hands in his gloves. He met his own eyes again in the mirror that stood in the corner behind the changing screen. His expression was full of reluctance.

He really didn’t want to wear them, wanted nothing more than to keep his own gloves on. But the tailor had left no room for discussion on the matter, ordering him to change out of ‘those old rags’ at once. Varian quickly realized he didn’t have a choice except outright refusal, and pulling something like that right before the coronation rehearsal, when Rapunzel already had so much going on…

Varian tugged his gloves off and swapped them for the new ones. His powers still wouldn’t work, he reminded himself. It didn’t require any special insulation, only so that it wasn’t skin to skin. And it wouldn’t be an issue anyways, because he had no need to use his powers. It was fine.

“You doing alright?” Eugene’s voice floated over from the other side of the screen, making Varian jump.

“Yeah, coming!” Varian called. He took a deep breath and stepped out from behind the screen, hiding a wince at the way his feet felt in the boots. “So- so uh, what do you… what do you think?” he asked, fidgeting self-consciously with the front of his shirt.

Eugene sat up in his chair, making an appreciative noise. “You look good, kid!” he complimented. “Very formal.”

Varian mustered a smile. “Great,” he said faintly. “That’s the- that’s kind of the whole point, right?”

“Mmm.” The tailor, a willowy old man with white coifed hair, studied Varian with a discerning eye. “It needs… one final touch,” he decided, rising from his chair. He rummaged about the small room, digging in various drawers until he drew back with a flourish. “Here we are!”

He was holding a length of shimmery golden fabric- a necktie. Before Varian could say anything, the tailor swooped over and tied it in a cravat around Varian’s neck.

“There,” he said approvingly, stepping back. “Much better.”

Varian fought the urge to tug the fabric away from his neck. It felt too tight, and for a moment he wondered if the tailor had chosen it to cover up his scar. “Much,” he agreed quietly, shifting his weight from foot to foot.

Eugene let out a whistle. “Well, now I feel underdressed,” he joked.

The tailor reconsidered Eugene before dismissing him. “It’s appropriate for your station,” he said simply.

Eugene rolled his eyes. “Thank you, for that,” he said dryly. He caught Varian’s eye, and his expression changed. “Hey, Varian, are you-”

There was a knock on the door before a guard poked his head into the room. “Eugene Fitzherbert,” he addressed stiffly. “I need you to come with me to resolve an issue.”

Eugene blinked at him. “Really? _Now?”_

“Yes.” The guard was unrelenting.

Eugene stood up with a long-suffering sigh. “This is really inconsiderate, you know that?” he sniped at the guard before turning to Varian. “Sorry about this, buddy. You think you can handle finishing up here and getting to the rehearsal?”

A spike of panic rose inside Varian. He swallowed it with a laugh. “What? Of course, why wouldn’t I?” He scoffed, waving a hand. “You go take care of… whatever it is, and I’ll see you there.”

Eugene nodded and gave him a thumb’s up before slipping out of the room. Varian turned back to the tailor, summoning a hopeful smile. “So, um, can I- is it alright for me to go now?”

The tailor looked him up and down. “Yes, I suppose so- wait!” he exclaimed suddenly, pointing at Varian’s chest. “You’ve loosened one of the buttons!”

Varian glanced down, surprised to find that indeed, one of his shirt buttons was now loose and dangling from its thread. He flushed at the realization; he must’ve accidentally picked at it too much. “Oh, I’m sorry, sir, I-”

“Well, you can’t go with a loose button!” the tailor sniffed indignantly, nodding his head at the changing screen. “Go take it off so I can mend it.”

Varian was filled with protest. Really, what did one button matter? Did people here really notice or care about things like that? This was just a rehearsal anyways, it was more important for him to _be there_ than to look perfect, wasn’t it?

But he bit back his objection. He’d already upset the tailor and didn’t want to push it further. Besides, the tailor knew more about these things than Varian, and if he said a loose button was unacceptable, Varian was inclined to believe him.

Dipping his head, Varian slipped behind the screen again and began unbuttoning his shirt, taking extra care with the single loose thread and keeping his face turned away from the mirror.

~*~

Eugene squinted against the sunlight as he stepped outside, grumbling under his breath.

Whatever this was, couldn’t it have waited until after the rehearsal? He did _not_ want to be late. Cassandra would never let him hear the end of it, and the king and queen would be far from pleased. Or maybe they’d be glad he wasn’t there, like Cassandra.

Well, he sure wasn’t going to give them the satisfaction. He knew they were just _waiting_ for him to screw up so they could kick him out of their lives for good. Tough luck; they weren’t getting rid of him that easily.

“So, where exactly is this problem?” he asked the guard escorting him. “Kinda running a tight schedule here, pal.”

The guard’s expression didn’t change as he pointed. “By the front gate.”

Eugene recognized the figures at the gate. He quickened his pace, calling out as he approached, “Hookhand? Big Nose? Guys?” 

The Snuggly Duckling pub thugs stood at the gate, dressed in their finest clothes for the occasion- which, admittedly, were just their least bloodstained clothes, but Eugene could appreciate the effort. While nothing about the situation screamed trouble, they seemed listless, and a guard was standing by.

Eugene came to a stop. “Guys, what’s up, why aren’t you inside yet?”

Hookhand crossed his arms over his broad chest, sighing heavily. “We’ve been denied entrance,” he said, jerking his head at the guard.

Eugene rounded on the guard, raising an eyebrow in challenge. “Denied?” he asked. “By who?”

“That would be me, Rider.”

Eugene froze.

The voice came from behind him, but he didn’t need to look to know whose it was. He remembered that particular voice quit vividly, from all the times it’d yelled, _‘Rider!’_ after him. The triumphant, _‘end of the line, Rider’_ at the canyon. And the grim, _‘I give you my word’_ in a dungeon cell.

Eugene slowly turned to face the Captain of the royal guards.

The man hadn’t changed at all since the last time Eugene saw him- the time he’d been trying to push to the back of his mind ever since he came to the castle. Since a gray dungeon cell and cuffs around his wrists and begging for Rapunzel and Varian’s lives. The hopelessness and desperation. The certainty of death.

It’d been easier to face the king and queen. At the very least, they hadn’t had any physical contact with Eugene during his sentencing. He hadn’t seen them once throughout the entire debacle with the tiara, hadn’t seen them until the very end when it was returned (with the princess to boot!) and he’d been received with a hug and a thank you.

But the Captain? The Captain was the arrow nocked at Eugene’s head, the sword pointed at his chest, the steady footsteps marching him to the gallows. And even worse, he’d seen Eugene at his most… vulnerable. Seen him at a place even Eugene was uncomfortable recalling, moments that haunted him in quiet hours of the night.

So, Eugene did what he always did in time like these. He faked it.

A huge grin split across Eugene’s face as he threw his hands up. “Well, if it isn’t my old pal!” he exclaimed, feigning all the nonchalance of a close friend. “Good to see you, you look good! Armor, very shiny. Look, I’m sorry if nobody told you but these guys were invited specifically-”

“And upon review, their invitation has been revoked,” the Captain cut in coldly.

Eugene paused, working his jaw in frustration. How to say this without getting arrested… “All due respect, sir,” he began firmly, “but these are Rapunzel’s friends, and she’d want them to be there.”

The Captain’s frown deepened. “They were criminals last week. Her Highness will understand if it concerns the security of the castle and everyone in it.” He turned to the thugs. “Now, leave at once or I’ll arrest you for trespassing.”

Eugene’s hands clenched into fists. Why was this coming up now, within the hour of the rehearsal? He’d submitted their invites for approval _days_ ago. And all of the sudden the Captain was saying they couldn’t attend, without consulting Rapunzel about it? It didn’t sit with Eugene and he wanted to argue.

But the Captain was watching him closely. In that same tense, wary, _waiting-for-action_ way Eugene remembered from the cell. It dawned on him that this was a test- and it was oddly reminiscent of Cassandra’s little stunt at the celebration the week before, the girl-who-cried-thief.

Like father like daughter, it seemed.

Eugene forced the tension from his shoulders, allowing a crooked grin to overtake his features. “Well, fellas,” he announced, “I’m terribly sorry you came all this way, but you heard the good Captain. I’m afraid there’s been a change of plans.” He clapped Hookhand on the arm consolingly. “But hey, why don’t you guys all head to the pub and have a round, put it on my tab? I’ll join you once this is over.”

That seemed to placate the thugs, and with a few amicable goodbyes, they dispersed and departed. Satisfaction curled in Eugene’s chest, enough to soothe his earlier irritation. Not only had he passed the Captain’s test by not losing his cool, but he’d managed to get the thugs not to lose _their_ cools, either. 

Eugene turned to the Captain with a cheeky smile, crossing his arms. _“Well,”_ he drawled, “if you’re quite satisfied, I’m going to head back in. Rehearsal’s about to start, you know.” Just to rub it in a bit, he gave a mock salute before swinging around on his heel and walking back to the castle.

And he pretended he couldn’t feel the Captain’s gaze following him the whole way.

~*~

Rapunzel paced back and forth, her shoes clicking almost unbearably loud on the tiled floor.

The rehearsal was about to begin. Everyone else was inside except Cassandra, who was waiting with Rapunzel. She couldn’t hear anything through the grand double doors of the ceremony hall, and wondered if her father had finished the introduction yet.

Only a small number of the guests had elected to come early and attend the rehearsal; the dukes and duchesses, lords and ladies- people who could get away from their duties for a longer time. The rest of the audience was made up of the castle staff, to help her get used to having a full room. It was also nice because the staff wouldn’t be there on the actual coronation day, and the rehearsal was a little break for them. Though Rapunzel wasn’t yet familiar with most of them, they were certainly less intimidating than foreign dignitaries.

It was with this knowledge that Rapunzel tried to reassure herself. In spite of it, her stomach was in an anxious knot, her palms cold and clammy. She had to keep resisting the urge to pick at her face; the makeup was a new but unwelcome sensation, caked over her skin like dried paint.

“You okay, Rapunzel?” Cassandra’s voice was concerned, the handmaiden leaning against the wall wither arms crossed.

Rapunzel stopped pacing. “Yes, of course,” she said quickly. She reached a hand up to play with her hair but then caught herself, remembering how long it’d taken Cassandra to make her choppy haircut into something refined. “I just… don’t want to mess up.”

“You’re going to be just fine,” Cassandra assured her.

The tall doors to the hall cracked open, a guard poking his head through. “We’re ready for you whenever, Your Highness,” he said politely. “Give a knock and we’ll open the doors for you.”

The door slipped closed again. Rapunzel turned to Cassandra. “Any last minute reminders?” she asked.

Cassandra smoothed a fold on Rapunzel’s dress. “You can speak freely, smile, and acknowledge the guests now, but not when we do it for real tomorrow.” She paused for a moment before resting her hand on Rapunzel’s shoulder. “And don’t stress,” she added, gentler. “If we need to start over or run through it again, we can. That’s what this is for.”

Rapunzel nodding slowly before offering a small smile. “Thanks, Cassandra,” she murmured. Impulsively, she put her arms out for a hug.

Cassandra’s hand dropped off Rapunzel’s shoulder as she took a step back. “Hey, wrinkles!” she warned.

Rapunzel felt herself flush under the makeup. She let her arms fall to her sides. “Right, sorry!” 

Cassandra tugged the edges of Rapunzel’s sleeves down, smoothing them again. “It’s okay,” she amended. “Are you ready to go in?”

“Yes,” Rapunzel said resolutely.

Cassandra nodded and gave a knock on the doors before stepping to the side, out of the way. The doors slowly swung open, revealing the ceremony hall. Rapunzel straightened her back, took a breath, and began to walk down the aisle.

The audience was… not as large as she’d been fearing. Or maybe it was that the hall was so tall and grand, they appeared smaller within it. As she walked, she scanned the crowd, quickly spotting Eugene in the front row. He grinned at her and gave a thumbs up.

Rapunzel smiled at him before looking to find Varian. He wasn’t standing next to Eugene, which is what she would’ve expected. A spike of panic gripped her heart, making her stumble a bit in her shoes.

She recovered quickly, brushing it off with a slight laugh as she mentally chided herself. Varian had probably chosen somewhere less conspicuous in the crowd, maybe towards the back or the edges. And while Cassandra had said it wasn’t a big deal, that this was just a rehearsal, Rapunzel didn’t want to stop the whole thing to spot Varian in the audience. Cassandra had probably just been trying to put her at ease, Rapunzel couldn’t imagine everyone would _actually_ be okay with her stopping the rehearsal- especially for such a simple reason.

Rapunzel pressed on. She was still a little shaky in her shoes but thankfully made it without any further incident.

The end of the room went up to a slightly raised ledge where her parents stood, dressed in what Rapunzel assumed was their finest clothes. In front of them was a small, marble pedestal with a velvet pillow, on top of which sat her tiara. And beside the pedestal stood a kindly old man in elegant white robes- the archbishop.

Rapunzel came to a stop, giving a little wave before second-guessing it and quickly dropping her arm.

The archbishop gave her an amused look. “Do come a bit closer, Your Highness,” he said good-naturedly. “I won’t bite.”

A scattering of laughter rippled through the room, light and humorous. Rapunzel chuckled too, starting to feel a little more at ease as she stepped closer. Over the archbishop’s shoulder, her parents gave encouraging smiles. Rapunzel took a steadying breath and looked up at him expectantly.

The archbishop spread his hands. “Alright, Your Highness, it is all very simple. Once you’ve reached the podium, I will read the royal oath aloud. I will finish by asking, ‘Do you, Rapunzel, solemnly promise to govern the peoples of Corona with justice, mercy, and grace, to the utmost of your power, as long as you shall live?’ And you will respond ‘I do so solemnly promise’, and bend the knee to receive your crown.” He smiled kindly. “Go ahead and give it a try, hm?”

Rapunzel already knew this, had been told as such by Cassandra, but she nodded and smiled regardless. This was good, he was smiling at her, so kind and helpful, and her parents were right behind him looking on with such happiness and pride and reassurance, she could almost forget about all the people behind her watching. She just had to do this simple thing, and the ceremony would be over in a flash.

Rapunzel opened her mouth, but nothing came out. 

The archbishop’s eyebrows creased. “Eh, that’s ‘I do so solemnly promise’, Your Highness,” he reminded her gently.

Again, Rapunzel tried to speak, but the words just wouldn’t come. Panic seized her as she realized she was just _standing_ there; she couldn’t move, no matter how hard she tried, it was like she’d lost all control over herself. Calm down, calm down, _calm down,_ she didn’t want anyone to worry, she was a princess and- _she was a **princess** -_ and a princess shouldn’t act like this, _get it together._

_I do so solemnly promise I do so solemnly promise I do so solemnly **promise-**_

Those five little words seemed to stick in her throat, choking her, and she couldn’t breathe. Something wet dripped down her face; her eyes stung and her vision grew blurry as she stared, unblinking, at the tiara on the pedestal- 

(the tiara shining back at her as she stared at herself in the mirror; the mirror shattered on the floor in jagged shards, gripped in Eugene’s hand as he pulled it through her hair- red blood soaking into his shirt, red on Varian’s throat behind the glint of the knife Mother held, and Mother was crumbling, crumbling, _crumbling)_

\- and she realized she was crying, silent tears spilling over and ruining her makeup and _this isn’t how a princess is supposed to act, everyone is going to be so disappointed in me_ but she just couldn’t move. No, no, no, this couldn’t be happening, she’d been doing so well!

“Rapunzel? Are you alright?”

The voice came from somewhere ahead of her; soft, feminine, and concerned- her mom. Rapunzel couldn’t move to acknowledge it but all of a sudden she could hear a different voice in her ears, similar in so many ways but wrong- everything was too tight, she couldn’t breathe- _I’m sorry, Mother, I’m trying._

Every other noise faded away as the shouting in her head grew louder and louder, and Rapunzel stood powerless to stop it.

~*~

Varian stopped at yet _another_ dead end, biting back an irritated huff.

At this rate, he was definitely going to be late for the coronation rehearsal. He’d been wandering the castle for almost ten minutes now, trying to find the throne room, to no avail. There were wings upon wings of guest bedrooms, staff’s quarters, storage closets, kitchens, washrooms, and even a couple libraries and he _just_ couldn’t seem to find the staircase down to the main level.

Turning around, Varian tried to retrace his steps, picking at the collar of his shirt. He was beginning to loathe his agreement in wearing his coronation outfit. The fancy clothes felt stiff and unfamiliar, and he desperately missed his old gloves.

The shoes were even worse now that he was walking- they were awkward and heavy and just felt _wrong_ on his feet, and he hated the way they amplified his footsteps. In fact, he was fighting the urge to pull them off and hurl them at the walls. Plain, undecorated walls that were all the same color, and _no wonder_ he was getting lost, how was anyone supposed to find their way around this place-

“Oh, _come on,”_ Varian groaned, met with a horribly familiar hallway of guest rooms. He was almost positive he’d been here before- now he was just going in circles.

Running a hand through his hair anxiously, he backed out of the corridor and glanced around, swallowing down his panic. It didn’t help that none of the staff were anywhere to be found, probably attending the rehearsal; he was on his own here.

_I want Rapunzel._

Something akin to a whimper started in his throat. He choked it back.

 _Get a grip,_ he told himself sternly, blinking back frustrated tears. _Stop crying like a child and **focus.** You’ve dealt with way bigger problems than this, don’t be so **pathetic!**_

Taking a shaky breath, Varian picked a different direction, hoping it would take him back to his bedroom. He might be able to work his way out from there. It wasn’t like he hadn’t been to the throne room before, and he and Rapunzel had explored the castle plenty. But when he’d first set off, he hadn’t been paying attention to where he was going, too preoccupied with his thoughts, and now he could only summon up a fuzzy recollection of where he was supposed to be. It was like his mind was refusing to give him the information he needed, information he _knew_ was in there, somewhere- _come on, Varian, just **think!**_

His heart started to pound as he quickened his pace through the halls, wincing at the echoes his footsteps made in his new shoes. He was starting to feel torn between wishing someone would come find him, and desperately not wanting anyone to know how badly he’d messed up.

The rehearsal had probably started by now, what was he supposed to do, show up in the middle of it? Would it be better or worse to miss it entirely? Which one would make them angrier at him? He didn’t know. Maybe he could at least get there in time for the dinner afterwards, try to save face- if he could _just find out where he was going._

It was no use. There was nothing but endless hallways and high ceilings that all looked the same and Varian was suddenly overwhelmed with the urge to _hide,_ to find somewhere small and safe and just disappear.

There was a long table against one of the walls, adorned with a delicately woven runner and a vase of flowers. Varian dove under it, pressing himself to the wall as if trying to become part of the paint. He curled up as tightly as he could, hands covering his ears as if he could block out the noise inside his head.

_Stop, stop, stop- it’s too loud, you’re being too loud!_

His breathing was quick and shallow, adding to the frenzied feeling building in his chest- _too loud-_ and he instinctively bit down on his glove to try and muffle it.

A burst of pain cut through the panic for a moment. Abruptly, he remembered these weren’t _his_ gloves, they were thinner, made of soft fabric instead of coarse leather- they were fake and new and strange like everything else in this damned castle- and they didn’t protect his skin from the prick of his teeth.

Varian bit down harder, as if the pain would be enough to ground him, and he didn’t let go; not when the pristine white glove blossomed into red as blood filled his mouth, the tang of copper mixed with salt from the tears streaming down his face-

(the smell of blood, strong and sickening, pooled on the tower floor in between cracks in the cobblestone and sticking to his hair in wet, matted clumps; it took him a second to realize, to remember, terror seizing his heart as he looked frantically for Mother, her betraying eyes and fingers like claws, for birds, black and white feathers clashing in the air, for an ocean of blood, dragging him down into its red abyss, _blood is energy is life,_ and he was sinking, sinking, _sinking)_

-and the frantic energy inside him broke out in a scream that tore his throat ragged. He didn’t let go even as everything faded away and became numb except for the ringing in his ears because he couldn’t stop _screaming._

His last coherent thought was, _‘Mother would be furious with me.’_

~*~

_it feels like falling, it feels like rain_  
_like losing my balance again and again_  
_it once was so easy; breathe in, breathe out_  
_but at the foot of this mountain i only see clouds_

___i feel out of focus, or at least indisposed_  
_as this strange weather pattern inside me takes hold_  
_each brave step forward, i take three steps behind_  
_it's mind over matter- matter over mind_

___slowly,_  
_then all at once_  
_a single loose thread_  
_and it all comes undone_

~*~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Quick note; I know that in cartoons, they wear the same thing every day. For the purposes of this fic, I'm saying most people normally do not do that, unless they're poor and only have a couple outfits, or travelling without access to more outfits, or for some other explained reason. This won't be mentioned unless it's significant, and you can just assume people are wearing different clothes everyday unless it's a uniform like Cass's lady in waiting dress.
> 
> Next update is tentatively scheduled for March 3. Hope you enjoyed, **please leave a comment if you did,** and I'll see you next time! - Aqua


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